Hello Reddit! Forgive me as I am new to the online community. Just wanted to tell my story and maybe get some input. I [37F] accidentally found out last month my husband [38M] was using 'work trips' as an excuse to sleep with his also married coworker who lives across the country. When I say accidentally; he sent me a screen shot of Amazon purchases for our children and included at the bottom of the photo was a delivery to this woman. So yes, the worried wife in me checked his search history and email. It was all right there! I learned his November trip was a romantic getaway but this current one is luxurious! A spa resort complete with couples massages, couples cooking classes and monogramed bathrobes from etsy. He mailed her a box of gifts a few days ago for Christmas (how sweet), he purchases sexy lingerie, sent her money on venmo and even started planning a January trip to Las Vegas. I was furious when I learn all this but I kept my composure.
My plan: He left this morning for his 'work trip' but before he left I gathered all evidence of his affair. I spent 4 weeks collecting emails, credit card statements, reservations and confirmations. I wrote him a 10 page letter, put it in an envelope and taped it inside the lining of his suitcase. I plan on sending a group text to him and his mistress right after check in telling them to enjoy their trip. I will also inform them that a letter is in his suitcase and that I want a divorce. I wrote a special section just for her and I want to make sure she sees it so I will be emailing her the letter as well.
He is currently in the air. My group text goes out this evening. Stay tuned...
UPDATE!
His flight landed 1 1/2 hours ago. He told me he would text me when he landed and he has yet to do so. I have text him twice, they were delivered but not read. I checked our phone records and he text both me and her during his lay over. His email shows no Uber receipt from his final destination airport to his hotel. She must have picked him up. Something I probably should have clarified in my OP. She lives in the state he is visiting. So he flew alone.
I will be sending a group text to both him and his mistress in 2 hours as that will be 4pm their time and check in.
UPDATE #2
Sent pictures of our children and he did not respond. FYI he is in the middle of the desert.
My texts are going through green which puts a monkey wrench in my plan for a group text to him and his mistress. Need suggestions. Should I call the hotel? Connect right to their room. I worked so hard for this, it has to be tonight. HELP!

UPDATE #3
Thank you to everyone standing by and waiting. My best friend has come to my house to help me through this. It seems my texts are going through green (undelivered) but when my friend tried it is blue and delivered.
HE HAS BLOCKED ME! I guess that helps his guilt.
The plan now is to call the hotel. Will wait a few minutes after check in to make the call. Very soon. Please stand by.

UPDATE #4
Like most of you predicted he does not care, He had zero answers for my questions. That was. the mot hurtful part. But guess what, I have all the emotional support and economic support so i'm not mad. Every question I asked he had no response because his mistress was sitting there. I suspect when he is home alone with me, his answers will be different. I have made sure that he will not emotionally and financially fuck me because I have secured support from family and friends. He can go FUCK himself!!!!!!
UPDATE #5
Called his hotel room. Talked to his mistress and finally lost my shit. He ended up calling me a few minutes later and had zero empathy. I'm shocked, but I'm not. He said a divorce was in order and fought me on nothing. I expected him to be sad, he was not, but thats ok. I started packing up his shit, I have some great friend who helped me put everything in the garage. Good riddance? I guess so...
The Morning After
I wake this morning broken. My house is in shambles as I went on a rampage yesterday ripping photos off the wall, throwing his stuff in piles on the floor and breaking random objects in anger. Now that I've had a nights sleep I feel that I am a bit clearer in my thinking as I analyze the 'conversation' we had yesterday. He was different on the phone. That was not the man I know, but who was the man I've known? Because everything was a lie. The only thing he cared about on the phone was getting the kids. Which is perfectly ok, he should want to see his kids. But he refused to answer any question I had or admit to anything. I personally feel his lack of remorse was because he was sitting in front of his mistress. If I confronted him at home this would not have been his reaction. When he comes home Monday night I expect to see a different man. Also, in my conversation with the mistress I learned she is recently separated.
I called my mom. That was hard. While she and my dad have always been loving and supporting it was hard to make that phone call. I felt like a failure. I know it wasn't my doing but to admit that I made a poor choice in a spouse was difficult. Was this all because of a mistake I made 13 years ago? Honestly it doesn't matter. I have 2 days to empty my house of his things.
Who do I tell? Do I call his dad? Do I tell his mother? Best friend? Work buddies? I wish there was a manual on how to do this because I'm lost. Even with all my preparation I'm still humiliated.
Luckily he did not take his house keys when he left. So no need to change the locks, I'll be removing his keys and sending him on his way. I don't plan on seeing him when he gets home Monday night. Doors are locked, everything you own is in the garage, have your people talk to my people and I'll see you never.
Preparing for the Return
My friends and family have been wonderful. I am so fortunate to have such great people in my life. Yesterday they came to help me move all of his clothing to the garage. His collectibles were all packed up and sitting here, waiting to be appraised. It took a very long time and I was exhausted afterwards; but it was necessary. I honestly don't think he expects me to have gone to such great lengths to remove him from my life. Because I was so emotional when I confronted him there is a chance that he thinks I will want to reconcile. Fat chance, buddy. His flights lands a little before 10pm tonight. When he Ubers back home the doors will be locked. He told me on the phone he was just getting his car and leaving. I will be holding him to that. Something I should have mentioned earlier, the house is in my name only. He had no credit when we first started looking so everything is in my maiden name and purchased by me. Health insurance, car insurance, cell phones, utilities are all in my name. The only thing his name is on is his car. I think he realizes now that could all come back to bite him. I don't want a messy divorce, I'm willing to listen to his demands and try and meet in the middle on as many things as possible. He obviously doesn't care anymore so I'm going to do my best to not care and treat this like a business deal.
Update late tonight on his return. Thank you to everyone following and showing support. You are appreciated.
The Dust has Settled
It's been a few days since his return. For a man who so diligently planned a secret retreat with his mistress he took no time to plan for his return 'home.' He has been living in the basement since Monday. I allowed him to watch the children open gifts on Christmas but he has since returned to the basement. We have contacted 3 mediators and have appointments next week to start the mediation process. It's obviously over. We had a conversation/argument upon his return and he actually asked about reconciliation. I laughed. I laughed uncontrollably. Of course he pushed blame stating that our marriage has been over for a long time. Well, that's news to me. His actions of an affair were selfish and avoidant. He didn't want to have that hard conversation with me about counseling or divorcing and this route was easier and a lot more fun. Let's face it, he likes the attention of 2 women loving and pining over him. Well, I'm not longer playing that game. She wins, and oh what a prize he is! I have been amicable about talking about the terms of our separation. My biggest hang up is her. He may continue seeing her and I have questions about her character. What kind of woman/mother cheats with a man she knows is married and knows has children? When I confronted her on the phone last Saturday and asked her that question she was silent. I asked if she was 'sorry' and it was as if the line went dead. That kind of person I do not want around my children. People who show no remorse, especially when they are in the wrong, are not kind people.
I have found solace in friends and family and thank you to everyone's recommendation of ChumpLady. I'm half way through the book, read through the website and find it so helpful. Thank you again to everyone. I can't believe the outpouring of support. To the trolls, sorry you think I'm an unfit and inattentive wife, but cheaters cheat because they want to. Thank you again to all, not sure if you want a mediation update or if my story is over. Either way, I'm happy to have 'met' you all.
Where is the 'fault'?
If you listen to the books and advice always given about cheaters it all says the same thing: It's not you, they made a choice. MY STBX insists things were bad. While I don't think we were Pam and Jim or Lucy and Ricky, I think things were good. This process has made me review who I am, who I've been and who I want to be. Could I have made changes? Yes. Was I perfect? Absolutely not. But my decisions and actions were never detrimental to our marriage. They were more like sacrifices. And now I'm having those sacrifices thrown at me and I'm being called neglectful. Is all this about attention? A narcissistic need to be the apple of someone's eye? Him and the AP are now blissfully in the honeymoon stage. Vacations, late night phone calls like teenagers, present buying, etc. But what happens when the other shoe drops? What happens when she sees that he has very little patience with children? That he will walk past a a sink full of dishes completely blind to them? When he doesn't pay the phone bill for 2 months because he is spending money on silly gadgets? What then? While it's not my problem, I'm sure his AP will take issue with these things. Perhaps then she will be put in the situation I've been in for a decade. Should she be the glue and hold it all together or should she neglect responsibilities for his neediness? I've been told by him ( someone who is having a relationship and spending large sums of money on someone else) that I'm at fault. Perhaps, but what about the decades of cleaning up your messes? Maybe if I would have had 2 hour conversations with him every night things would be different, but to be honest, I'm happy I'm here. Now reflecting back I see how under appreciated I was. How neglected I was. All these year I thought I was helping but I was really being taken advantage of and this affair is no different.
Just a word of advice to all the mess cleaners, excuse makers, and spouse sheltering people reading this. Stop. Stop now. I've learned that all the 'helping' is simply them learning how to manipulate you. Draw that line in the sand. Prepare for an uncomfortable situation when they start to stumble under the pressures of real life. But don't lose yourself. I lost myself years ago and it's not a place you want to be.
Mediation & The Move.
We had our first mediation appointment via Zoom yesterday. It was very amicable, but only because I don't want to fight and I just want this to be over. He apparently wants nothing. Not the house, not the furniture, not what he's entitled to of my pension; he just wants to be done as well. As I've been packing up things in the house to declutter I've been offering him things, but he wants nothing. I suspect the moment our marriage is dissolved he will be packing up his collectables and clothing and driving across the country to live with her. I guess I should be ok with this as I don't want to be married to him anymore. It just kills me that he will be moving in with her and helping her raise her 2 children while mine are fatherless. It makes me so angry. Seething. The man who was abandoned by his father is now doing the same thing. Something he said would never ever happened because of the mental issues it has given him today. Well, it looks like that, as well as mostly everything else, was a lie. Again, I take solace in the fact that their honeymoon phase will be short lived. Reality will smack them both in the face and she will realize that he can be more hurt than help.
While I wish him well and hope the best, our kids deserve more than a Christmas/Easteone week in the summer father. No dad at basketball games, cub scouts, birthday parties and school plays. Meanwhile AP will have him and her children's biological father. I guess nothing in life is fair and my boys will have to learn that lesson early than I had hoped.
He's Gone.
My STBX left yesterday morning to visit her. I told him to go. I didn't want to spend NYE with him and our COVID circle friends who we celebrate with have zero interest in seeing him either. He booked a flight 30 minutes after I told him to go. My only stipulation was that he is back for this weekend as it's my birthday and I really need a day to myself. I've watched the kids for 3 weekends now while he went to see his mistress, I thought I at least deserved my birthday to relax. He text me while he was boarding that he won't be home for my birthday. Well then... He claims when he booked this he booked a return for the evening of my birthday. When he tried to change it he was put on standby, it would cost $1000 to change, it was a red eye etc. The excuses kept coming. He apparently does not realize I have access to the internet as well and flights are less than $300 with the airline he flew. I told him this and he said those flights weren't there when he booked (lies) and he will take care of it. I just want him to be honest. If you don't want to be here for my birthday, just say it. If you don't want to spend the day with your children, just tell me. I can't force you to be a parent. I told him the flights were available and affordable, it's his choice to rebook. Ball is in your court. That's all I can do, right? Stay tuned for an update on his return this weekend..
NYE Nightmare.
It was 12:40am on NYE and there was still no call from him. I was angry for no other reason than I explained to the kids that even though daddy wasn't with us he would call at midnight to talk to them and wish them a Happy New Year. I was made to be a liar. So, I text my STBX and his excuse was, 'they are with their friends, I didn't want to bother them'. Excuse me? Bother them? You mean you didn't want your kids to bother you is what you are really saying. If I was across the country on NYE without my kids I would have called and done the countdown with them via facetime. I think most parents would. But not him. He said, "If you would have told me that you told the kids I'd call then I would have." He tried to spin this on me, that I created this mess. Why do I have to tell you that you need to call your children at midnight? This small act said a lot to me. Our children are not a priority. I guess he didn't want to ruin his perfect vacation at his new girlfriend's house with her children. He has a nice new family now. Today is my birthday and he returns this evening. I told him in my NYE text that I will speak to him on the 12th, our next mediation meeting because I'm done. I tried to be civil for the kids but he is not putting forth the effort for them.
Liar Liar, Pants on Fire.
The past few days have been strange. We rarely talk (a decision on both our parts) and when we do it's about mediation, plans moving forward, or the kids. We have been civil and communicating well about those items. We are also friendly in front of the children as not to upset them. The situation is strange because we are getting along, there is no arguing, it's a shared focus to just get through mediation and divorce. That's fine by me. Last night while I was cleaning the kitchen I heard him on the phone in the basement. I guess he didn't realize the door was left open by one of the children. Not wanting to be a part of the drama anymore I went to close the door. At that point I heard him tell her how 'crazy' I have been acting. Excuse me? We don't speak and when we do it's very civil. How is that crazy? Well, he proceeded to tell her about a conversation we had and he lied about everything. While the conversation part was true he told her I exploded, I was in a rage, I was crying etc. None of that was true. He explained how he laughed in my face at my rage, also not true because there was no rage. I had told him awhile back before the NYE debacle that I would start dating eventually and he proceeded to tell her that I was bragging about guys I'm meeting. So far from the truth. I slammed the basement door. I'm sure he knows I heard. So I ask, 'Why the need to lie and make me a villain?' We aren't staying together, I have no reason to fight with you anymore, that's why we are paying a mediator. Why start lying to your new girlfriend that you love? How is that a good way to start a relationship? I don't know what is happening here...
This is my concern: This woman and him are in love and want to start a life together. Ok, thats fine, God bless and congrats. But, this woman only knows me by the stories (which I'm assuming are all lies) he has told her about me. If he does move across the country to be with her, how can I trust a woman who hates me because of misinformation to treat my children properly? I don't care if she hates me personally, I'll still sleep fine at night, but now I'm worried about sending my kids in the summer to stay with them. I want to confront him about this but I know I can't. Maybe it's not that I can't, but I don't know how. Also, he has told no one we are separated and definitely has not told people why. How come? You initiated this, you cheated, you are happy now, so why can't you tell people? He told his father that he was bringing the kids alone to visit him because he and I 'weren't seeing eye to eye at the moment.' What?! I would assume he's afraid to face the music or is just finding comfort in the little love bubble he has created. He chooses to not face reality. He has yet to look for an apartment for when the divorce is finalized but has booked another fight out to see her for Valentine's Day. He is refusing to face reality and it's so frustrating.
We have mediation on 1/12 to discuss custody and hope that we can settle everything and get the paperwork moving. I'm having a scheduled phone conversation with a lawyer today to discuss what I should ask for in terms of physical and legal custody when he moves. Update you all (if you want it of course) on mediation after the 12th.
Mediation and Empty Promises
Yesterday was our second mediation appointment. While it was amicable, there was some obvious tension. The tension was not on my end but more on his. Let me explain... During our first mediation we brought up the topic that he might move out of state. At yesterdays meeting I asked what we would do about custody if he moves to this particular state. When I mentioned the state by name the mediator was confused. This prompted her to ask him why this state that is so far away. His answer? "Well......." Then silence. He couldn't put into words the fact that he was leaving to be with his girlfriend. I had to finally chime in realizing we are paying by the hour that he was moving to be with his girlfriend. I realized later that was the first time he had semi-confessed to having an affair and a girlfriend to anyone. If you love this person so much why can't you just say it out loud? That whole situation confuses me.
Anyway, when it comes to dollars and cents I will be fine. He will also be fine. He will have enough to do what he needs and so will I. We have agreed to a physical custody scenario that allows him weekend and dinner visits. Fine by me, I want my boys to have their father. But, the situation becomes a bit more difficult when he moves. While he said yesterday he plans to stay here at least a year, I doubt that will actually happen. When he does move across the country he wishes to return for one weekend of every month to see the boys. Again, I'm fine with this scenario but where will he stay that weekend? He has no family. Will he just be taking the boys to a hotel? Again, I don't think he actually thought this through. This is a problem I/we will tackle when he does decide to move.
Lastly, the mediator said it could take about 2 months to finalize everything. He and I spoke after the session to go over some facts and figures and I brought up the tentative finalization date of our marriage. I told him how 2 months is a good amount of time to save some money and find an apartment to which he agreed. I also reminded him about his promise to not return to visit her until our divorce is finalized or he has a place to live. He quickly became frustrated telling me that he knew and tried to shut down the conversation. I told him I'm happy that we are on the same page but I'm not budging. If you leave while you still live here you can not come back, that is something we both agreed to.
Now the big question remains; Who does he break a promise with? Obviously it's a win win for me, stay home and help me with the kids while you save $500+ and move out quickly or leave to visit her and I get you out of the house sooner. I'm happy with either decision. I just want to move on with my life and enjoy my moments with my children.
Out For A Swim
When I took this dive into the Reddit community I had no idea where I would land. I thought my feet would hit shallow ground and I would be ankle deep on the banks in an uncomfortable swimsuit all alone. But to my surprise this deep ocean of Reddit readers have engulfed me into their warm waters and I am surrounded by a sea of support. For this I am thankful. I am also so touched by the droves of people who have reached out for advice or offered their own experiences as lessons to be learned. To the ones seeking advice I tell them, I am not an expert swimmer. I am merely doggy paddling through this sea of hurt and confusion. Please don't use me as a sign of strength. Because the truth is, I am not strong, I am you. I am the woman who reads because they are suspicious of late night phones call her husband takes. I am the spouse who has shouldered the entire family and is in desperate need of support. I am the woman who misses affection from her husband who is next to her in bed every night. I. Am. You. To those people who have yet to catch their partner cheating but are suspicious, trust your gut. Cheating is a coward's choice so be braver than them and face the truth. To the spouse who is 'the fixer' and takes on every challenge, take a step back. When you help (even with good intention) you are actually just hurting yourself. To the spouse who has tried everything to receive physical attention from their partner but to no avail, their affection is probably going somewhere else. These are lesson I wish I could have told myself months, if not years ago. Listen to me. Or just listen to you.
To the sharks in water who call me a 'bad mom', 'a crazy bitch', 'fake' or even just think I'm out of my mind, you will find no blood in this water. So it's best you move on and find a thread where the OP will chum the water for you. It's so very easy to read and judge, this I understand. I just hope that if this ever happens to you that you will be as brave, logical and composed as you expect others to be. If not, you will find sharks circling you as well. So I hope you are as strong of a swimmer as you claim to be.
If you are still reading, my saga/survival continues. Our final mediation papers will arrive this week. We were able to settle everything at the last meeting on 1/12 and the documents just need our signature. After that, the divorce papers need to be served and filed with the county. Then we await our court date which will be done via Zoom. Yes, a bit anticlimactic, but it will still serve its purpose of divorcing. He has started (finally) to look for an apartment but nothing is to his satisfaction. Maybe he is being picky or maybe he is comfortable living in the basement. Either way, once the divorce papers are stamped he needs to be gone. He has started making phone calls to her during the day and I can hear him giggling downstairs. I'm happy he is happy, I really am. That isn't passive aggressive. I know I will be happy one day too, he just got there first and that's ok. I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I can't move forward because I'm chained to the past. I'm hoping his move will be soon. I suspect he wants out for February 1st so he can go visit her for Valentines Day. I hope for his sake (and mine) that he makes his deadline. I will update again after I receive the mediation paperwork and divorce papers are served. I'm sure that will stir up a lot of thought and emotion so I'm certain it will be a doozy. Till then, I'll keep doggy paddling.
Souvenirs
If you have been following along then you know that there was a chance he would leave for Valentine's Day to go visit her. Well, he left this morning. He told the kids, "I'm going" as he walked out the door leaving me to explain a few hours later that he had to leave to 'work' when they started asking for him. I have learned that I can't have expectations. Just because I would try to be more honest with the kids doesn't mean he would. I was really proud of the fact that I didn't even engage him in the discussion/debate/argument of going. Yes, I had loudly vocalized some feelings a week ago when he told me he was going but I have not engaged him about it since. All I asked was for his flight info so that I would know when to expect him back. He did not provide this information; maybe he thinks I'm not entitled to it. Either way, he left and I was fine. While we had the conversation multiple times (in which he agreed) that he would not visit her again till he had an apartment he has reneged on that agreement. Shocker. He claims that he has every right to be here (which he does legally) and he can do as he pleases. He put a down payment on an apartment a few days ago but says he doesn't know when he is moving. What? The bills he pays in the house are less than the child support he will have to pay, so I think his decision to stay longer might be a financial one. I've offered him any piece of furniture he wants in the house. I even offered to pay for 1/2 of the cost of bunk beds for the boys. I just need him to leave. I have no idea why he is dragging his feet.
BUT, I learned through a mutual friend and former work colleague of theirs that she recently had COVID. When I say recently, I mean the board of health from her state said she could stop quarantining 3 days ago! But what about her kids that are in the home? Where they living there during her quarantine? Are they positive? Perhaps they are asymptomatic? Will my STBX be bringing me and our children home a COVID souvenir?
I'm LIVID.

B-Movie Title Challenge - Entrant Roster

I'll be updating this over the next couple of days. If the wrong thing gets posted please make sure to message me or comment on this thread. Please also be patient, as this thing takes forever.

EDIT: Will update sporadically throughout the day.

W_T_D_
Title: Cranial Froth
Condition: The ghost of a psychic is haunting

SteelMarch
Title: Skeleton Beach Party
Condition: Main Character is a lifeguard

Dimdarkly
Title: The Ivory Titan in the Tomb of Princes
Condition: Takes place in any country except in North America

mattedward
Title: The Four Foot Cannibals from Venus
Condition: Takes place in a large city

bigwillybeatz
Title: Macho Blood
Condition: Takes place in Switzerland

Pantserforlife
Title: In the Lair of the Crab People
Condition: At least one character has a deadly secret

IhateVergil
Title: The Green Scorpion
Condition: Cannot be a creature feature

Blackrider0x
Title: Canal of Flesh and Blood
Condition: Involves a sibling rivalry

ScreamingVegetable
Title: It Came!
Condition: The main character is dangerously naïve or optimistic

AstroSlop
Title: Dr. Carnage's Grotesque Vengeance
Condition: He's a doctor of psychology

biggaymoose-
Title: Who Do You Know That Can Hurt You
Condition: Mostly takes place on a college campus

dillonsrule
Title: So I Married and Intergalactic Bounty Hunter
Condition: The latest bounty must be on Earth

IamDangerWolf
Title: Night of the X-Ray Zombies
Condition: Takes place in the 1950s

Sadyardsale
Title: Attack of the Terror-Dactyl
Condition: The Terror-Dactyl is a living dinosaur skeleton

existential_bread
Title: Revenge of the Cybernetic Arm
Condition: One character has to be pretending to be someone they aren't

HauntedandHorny
Title: Atomic Teenage Troglodytes
Condition: Has to take place primarily on a high-school campus

deadby21haha
Title: It Slithered in the Darkness
Condition: Takes place in the Amazon rainforest

descentintohorror
Title: Hercules and the 7 Trials of Hades
Condition: Hercules loses a limb early on

CreepyWatson
Title: Vengeance of the Vampire
Condition: Must be set in the future

libertylad
Title: Vampirates Attack Under the Blood Moon
Condition: Must take place entirely at sea (land opening is fine)

Aquaislyfe
Title: Werewolf Express
Condition: Must involve more than one werewolf

Bigmoco_
Title: Tomb of the Screaming Skulls
Condition: Set inside a pyramid

HorrorShad
Title: It Stirs in the Darkness
Condition: No Condition

Gidz18
Title: Frankenstein VS Mutant Bikers from Mars
Condition: Frankenstein's monster teams up with a group of other monsters at the end so they can work together to stop the bikers

chaharlot
Title: Return to Spider Highschool
Condition: Acts as if there were a prior film in the series even though there isn't

HairsniffinJoe
Title: The Werewolf of Wall Street
Condition: Your character got doxxed on wallstreetbets and is dealing with the consequences

aramnez
Title: Eyes in the Thicket
Condition: An unusual fear sends someone into madness

willismyname
Title: Strangers from the Sea
Condition: Must take place on an alien planet

lspob16
Title: Cannibals for Christmas or Chimpanlion or Terror Under a Black Moon
Condition: One character pretends to be the 21st century Plato

Jimmyg100
Title: Terror from the Void!
Condition: Involves a legendary object

hyperpuppy64
Title: Fog Enshrouds Eternal
Condition: Takes place on the road/road trip

the_samiad
Title: Camp Zombie
Condition: Protagonist is a bit of a coward (at least at first)

theuntold100
Title: Zombifactation of a Teenaged Mind!
Condition: Takes place during or after a snowstorm

kaZdleifekaW
Title: The Ouroboros Principle
Condition: Death has no meaning

earballz
Title: Bedlam & Breakfast
Condition: Takes place in a mountainous region

funwithpoop
Title: IN THE CAVERNS OF CON'JURE
Condition: Voodoo zombies, not virus zombies

parttimestarwarsnerd
Title: There's Something Evil Inside My Mother
Condition: Takes place in Las Vegas

Agentgames25
Title: Moon Shark
Condition: Protagonist has an important secret

Bookislovakia
Title: Killing in Uranus
Condition: Takes place entirely on Earth

VaicoIgi
Title: Hive of the Zom-Bee Queen
Condition: A double cross gone very very wrong

helium_farts
Title: Night of the Zombie Chicken
Condition: Must be set in a jail or prison

BobDinnerRoll
Title: ZomBikinis and the Palace of Doom
Condition: Final fight ends by an accident

TheTalentedMrTorres
Title: Rhinoceraptor
Condition: Takes place in Penal Colony Australisa

CottonSC
Title: Cyborg Viking
Condition: The viking fights against an army of chimps

homme_revolte
Title: Exorcism of the Vampire
Condition: The Vampire is super polite

CeleryStockInvestor
Title: Ghost Pirate from Hell
Condition: The pirate's parrot is a double agent from Heaven.

RandomStranger79
Title: Feast of the Toxic Freak
Condition: A faith friend turns into something else

dyskgo
Title: The Mark of Withered Contempt
Condition: Involves Nazis somehow

ratstack
Title: For the Love of Satan
Condition: Main character is a priest

slaterman2
Title: Kid Diesel vs. the Turbomancer
Condition: Takes place at least partly in space/not on earth

Timberwulff
Title: Zombie Cruise
Condition: Takes Place in a pandemic

Tmcphaul3
Title: The Night of the Radioactive Monkey
Condition: There is a shortage of PPE, the costumers must work with whatever they can get

Chadouken87
Title: The Disco of Death or Pearls Before Crime
Condition: A cozy mystery of the 1%

KainUFC
Title: Doom Park
Condition: Any weapon that appears in the movie must be made from other, non-weapon items

ohitsthestarsagain
Title: Infernal Spawn
Condition: One of your characters has chronic, uncontrollable flatulence

RamsesThePigeon
Title: Trackula: Night Racer
Condition: Theme must be a 50's bad girl story

Qwerty_Asdfgh_Zxcvb
Title: The Petrifying Failure of Doctor Zonk's Last Attempt
Condition: Dr. Zonk is a necromancer

Crpal
Title: Frankenstein Vs. the Martians
Condition: It's the doctor, not the monster

Rowedude
Title: The Monstrous Mansion of Mania
Condition: There is a fourth-wall breaking narrator

Alienboy13
Title: Timecorpse
Condition: The main character is a video game developer

nl88
Title: The Eye That Saw Everything
Condition: A disembodied psychic eye is the main villain

avirubinstien
Title: RATMEN from planet M-1-C-3
Condition: The Ratmen should have a mixture of human and rats body parts

hitlersticklepot
Title: Tombstone Troopers
Condition: Begins and ends in the same place

pkjamoo
Title: Cult of the Ghouls
Condition: Buddy flick where one of the buddies is secretly in the cult

swimmingdropkick
Title: The Wolf of South Beach
Condition: Someone is getting bikini body ready

mhdzwriter
Title: Holy Shit!
Condition: It's set in a church with faulty plumbing

Carnival-of-Meat
Title: Money Short from Mars
Condition: It's rated PG-13

LongDefeat1738
Title: Death Flail from Hell!
Condition: A rhyme holds a special twist

Pingupol
Title: Massacre Under the Blood Moon
Condition: Takes place over a longer period of time than a day/night

ghusghus_onthe_l00se
Title: Infestation on the Moon!
Condition: Main Character is an exterminator

kainharo
Title: Aztec Mummy A-Go-Go
Condition: Bigfoot shows up at some point

PanzramsTransAm
Title: Two Knocks at Midnight
Condition: There are at least two main characters

Caloyalot
Title: Werewolves of Valhalla
Condition: A character loses a limb and replaces it with a weapon

TeacherYellsAtMe
Title: Earthquake 4000
Condition: Set inside a video game

Layden87
Title: My Brother is a Tentacle Monster
Condition: Main character is afraid of the dark

41488p
Title: Voodoo Inferno
Condition: Protagonist is a woman with an eye-patch

mcqueenmaniac
Title: Suffering Cellar
Condition: Must involve time travel

randomlyshowedup
Title: The Giant Pineapple
Condition: One of the main characters is a dog

hopthegreeneyedfrog
Title: Crimson Doom
Condition: Entire script takes place over one night

perlementhe
Title: The Feral Hogs of Chickamagoo
Condition: Someone has a handlebar mustache

6iph9tjz04r0kqx0nd62
Title: The Bigguns Are Coming!
Condition: Takes place at least partially in a major city

empire_strikes_back
Title: Red Maw Wharf
Condition: At least one dream sequence

creggor
Title: Witches Can't Even
Condition: Told from the perspective within the occult

Adjbabas
Title: It Came From Beyond the Sun!
Condition: A scream changes everything

rowdyrobbypiper
Title: Invasion of the Wicker People
Condition: The protagonist must kill his love interest somewhere in the story

sabbathxman
Title: Space Sharks
Condition: Takes place in medieval England

val0ciraptor
Title: My Baby's An Alien
Condition: Experiments with drugs go wrong

ScuzeRude
Title: The President's Been Eaten
Condition: Cannot be set in the US

sludgemuck
Title: Armadillo!
Condition: A character has anger issues

Jimbo_Jango
Title: The Giant Snake
Condition: Main character has a nervous tic

loveandlimelight
Title: Brain Melter
Condition: Food plays a special role

Nakeder_Lunch
Title: The Werewolf in Cellblock 9
Condition: Protagonist is a prisoner

barbaq24
Title: Wrath of the Swamp Witch
Condition: A character uses a detached outboard motor as a weapon at some point

pencils-down
Title: The House of Hands and Hatchets
Condition: The protagonist becomes the villain before the end of the movie

mtndewskateboard
Title: The Cauldron Screams!
Condition: Fate cannot be changed

Poisonedhorror
Title: Pink Robots from Planet 9
Condition: The pink robots are not female/fembots

lyssavirus
Title: The Vampires of Zeta Reticuli
Condition: Set on earth

RelevantEmu5
Title: The Blood Seeker
Condition: No Vampires

justinthecunningham
Title: Disco Babes in the Circus of Doom
Condition: The entire story unfolds in one night

Heated123
Title: The Devil Arrives at Midnight
Condition: 90% of the story has to take place during the day

locke_747
Title: It Eats People!
Condition: Takes place in a fictional country

synchronicityinsound
Title: Blood-Man Strikes
Condition: The producer that assigned you this script has demanded that you include a dentist‘s office as much as possible since they have one available for free from a previous film.

aaronwithtwoas
Title: Even the Grave is Afraid
Condition: Someone gets buried alive

TurnToPage493
Title: Curse of the Time Vortex
Condition: The story has to take place in at least three different time periods

justimagineme
Title: The Heart of the Living Underground
Condition: Main character is arachnophobic

latedeltawave
Title: Blood Parasites from Mars!
Condition: Centers around a group of children

notevenagoat
Title: Testosterone Terrorists
Condition: The stakes are global

the_enchanter_time
Title: Eruption of the Volcano Valkyries
Condition: Contains a movie-within-a-movie

fishstandsup
Title: Aquatic Threat from Outer Space
Condition: A character is suffering from a life-ending affliction

NotablyConventional
Title: The Boston She-Wolf
Condition: Entire narrative takes place over the course of a weekend

ValLewton
Title: The Soulless Reavers
Condition: It's in an alternate universe where Elvis never died. Your protagonist is aware of this

Lloiu
Title: Gravedigger's Last Stand
Condition: One character has an unusual weapon

h2ok
Title: The Night Hunter
Condition: Antagonist is a vampiric entity that feeds on something other than blood

LemoLuke
Title: The Baby-Man from Andromeda
Condition: Andromeda is a character

OatmealNTea
Title: Dark Blood on Green Silk
Condition: Protagonist is unfaithful (in what way, you decide)

NoirDior
Title: The Needle Monsters
Condition: One sequence takes place in a building with no power.

Sawaian
Title: The Evil Has Landed
Condition: Antagonist has a major trust issue

invincible789
Title: Un-Reborn Again
Condition: Entire movie is set in a celestial waiting room

Thin_Initial_2764
Title: Attack of the Cat from Outer Space!
Condition: There must be a talking dog

Harvicous
Title: Invasion of the Rat King from Space
Condition: Protagonist must be inhuman

fieldnotes1990
Title: THEY CAME FROM CANADA
Condition: Protagonist is in debt in some way

bigbkay
Title: NIGHTMARE ZOO
Condition: If an actual zoo is involved, must be a small zoo

JarJarJacobs
Title: Kingdom of the Frost Witch
Condition: It's an instructional video for new employees

Absolutturkey
Title: Night of the Ogres
Condition: First line must be "Good Lord... that's the biggest zucchini I've ever seen"

pinksentai
Title: The Curse of the Mad Raving Scientist
Condition: The scientist happens to be right about most everything

Heads_Or_Tayls
Title: Prison Island Cannibals
Condition: It's a mockumentary

SLCer
Title: Worm Volcano!
Condition: Main character is an entomologist on a family vacation

MovieFitz
Title: The Hearse Under the Moon
Condition: None of the characters can die

horror_and_hockey
Title: Doorstep of Death
Condition: Main protagonist is a delivery driver

bamsaam
Title: The Molecular Woman from Mars
Condition: Protagonist IDENTIFIES as female

td1183
Title: Mall Rats from Hell
Condition: All the mall rats must be teens who morph into actual giant rats

thetalkingrock
Title: Special Dead-Livery
Condition: Main character must be constantly high

glowsincali
Title: The Night the Sex Demons Came
Condition: At least one of the main characters is religious

smiggle_butt
Title: Attack of the Giant Toddler
Condition: The toddler must rampage through something besides a city

Tlevan
Title: Wage Workers on Wild Waters
Condition: Starts and or ends with a workers strike

Blakeyo123
Title: Blood Desserts
Condition: Not set in an Asian setting

crjflan
Title: Werewolf Witches of West Hollywood
Condition: Lactose intolerance must play a key role

Tsunawolf
Title: Attack of the Giant Volcano Crabs
Condition: Oreos must play a central role in the plot

willibeats
Title: The Butcher's Block Party
Condition: Someone is tricked into mortal danger

dstrauc3
Title: Hammer Sandwich
Condition: Must include a character who boxes

rktrixy
Title: Dismemberment in Vegas
Condition: Must involve a masked killer with a preference for circular saws that also knows everyone's secrets

Glad_Employer_Always
Title: Enter the Slaughterhouse
Condition: No girls/women involved

AJayOfTheWorld
Title: Night of the Hippopotamus
Condition: Mostly set in a zoo

standingseafire
Title: My Sister, the Bloodthirsty Nymphomaniac
Condition: Must have two characters are identical twins

Guitaniel
Title: Dr. Jekyll Vs. Dr. Frankenstein
Condition: Must have a boxing or fist fight

graciemansion
Title: Browser Wars
Condition: Must include at least one executive with a surprising past

the-last-brandon2
Title: Love in the Time of Corona
Condition: A character is a conspiracy theorist

xxxrepulsion
Title: Oops, I Am A Zombie
Condition: A character spends at least some amount of time not realizing they're a zombie

Zerodot0
Title: Bitten by the Were-Rabbit
Condition: Takes place on a cruise ship

MagnusCthulhu
Title: Death Fears Only Jessica Gray
Condition: One of the characters is bent on revenge

pamwatts
Title: Night of the Living Bread
Condition: There's something in the yeast

passionsphynx
Title: Curse of the Mantula
Condition: Protagonist is a recent widow

ponytailthehater
Title: Don't Bite the Hand That Feeds
Condition: Set entirely in a hotel/inn

Vxder
Title: The House of Severed Limbs
Condition: Antagonist is not known until at least halfway

Blakake
Title: That's Not Ray, This is Ray!
Condition: The protagonist is an actor

silviod
Title: Live in Las Vagueness
Condition: The protagonist is a dreamer

the31streaper
Title: My Parents, The Serial Killers
Condition: Main character loves his parents

Legendary_Brown
Title: They Gave Me Alien Eyes
Condition: Protagonist is paranoid

We called it. The media and the powers that be are trying to make it socially acceptable for females to have OnlyFans and to get paid for lewd photos of themselves. Obviously, it's the fault of the patriarchy and capitalism that led to these females having to do this. It's the fault of men!

Best travel destinations for females trying to find themselves

Realities of a Minor's Life on the Road

Thanks to u/jouscat for providing the inspiration for this post with her amazing post, Realities of a Woman's Life on the Road. That was a couple months ago, but I figured my experiences and what I've learned could help people, hopefully as much as Scat's. Also, thanks to her and Pokebert (u/2717192619192) for reviewing this post and providing some great suggestions.
From the beginning my parents just didn't care. My dad was an abusive meth addict, often hitting me, but I never let him hit my sister. My mom was less on the abusive side and more on the passed-out-heroin-addict side. From the time I was 11 or so, I could disappear for days on end without them caring or sometimes even realizing, and the summer after 8th grade, I decided to use that to my advantage. I wrote a quick note telling them that I'd be back within a month or two, packed up a bag, read through all the vagabond advice posts I could find, and then hopped a boxcar out from my little town near Sacramento. Right as it pulled out, the door slammed shut, almost taking my finger with it. The train ended up taking me to Elko, Nevada, where I wandered around town for a couple hours before figuring out to hitchhike.
Since then I've been all over the West, and also last summer I did a big circuit around the east, from New Orleans to Atlanta to Asheville to New York and then back to the land of cowboys and dust via a high-priority train that took me from Chicago to Denver. I've had some great experiences, and some horrible ones, which I'll be talking about here. My aim for this post is to prepare you youngsters for what's waiting for you once you run away, so I won't spend much time on the good part.
To Run Away or Not to Run Away?
I ran away because I hated living at home. I wasn't abused too much (not exactly a ringing endorsement), just completely fucking ignored. There were sometimes streaks of several days where I didn't talk to my parents despite being in the same little house as them. I had a couple friends at school, but I was an outcast for the most part. If I had the chance to relive that time in my life with everything I know now, I don't know if I'd run away again. The abuse started out not so bad, but it started to get worse, so I ran. If you're not getting badly hurt or abused, which is better than a lot of people can say, stay at home. Running away is only justified in very abusive situations, whether physical, mental, or emotional. It's a life-altering decision. But if you've got that itch to go, there's nothing I can say that could stop you. When I left there was no fucking way I could've been talked out of it.
Don't take the decision lightly, though. Read through this post and all the other great resources on this sub and vagabond, hear all the shit that's happened to me over just three summers on the road, and then decide. Does it sound worse than what's happening to you? If so, think long and hard about it. Could it get worse? Better? What are your other options? If it sounds like a piece of cake compared to your home life, go for it.
How to Run Away?
I honestly can't help you with the emotional side of this one. I just got up and left, no shits given. As I said in the first paragraph, I just left a short note for my parents, and then a longer one for my sister. My friend, on the other hand, did. I'll call her Annie (not her actual name), I'll let her tell her story.

I've been in and out of the foster care system since I was 9. I ran away from every home they put me in after a couple months. Sometimes I didn't even unpack my bag. At first I'd just jump out the window at night and then bike to the next town over, mostly just to make a point, but then they got smart and made it so I couldn't open the window more than a couple inches. After that, I would sneak out and open the front door. I got caught a couple times like that. At first my attempts to run away weren't very successful. People pay attention to a 10 year old on the streets. But around 12 or 13, I was able to stay away for longer. I could take a greyhound to the nearest big city and get lost there, and after a month or a couple they'd find me or I'd come back, and it would start all over again.
When I was almost 14, I was placed into a foster home that I genuinely liked. The "mom" and "dad" were caring and provided for us well, and the other kids told me it was good. But as time wore on, I saw that it wasn't at all perfect. One of the kids was involved in drug dealing, and was tangled up with a gang, and the "parents" sometimes let their anger break through, and would sometimes hit me or the other kids. Two days before the last day of school, the "mom" sent me out to find the kid that was into drug dealing, since he hadn't come home for dinner. I knew he spent a lot of his time in this one alley downtown, so I went there. I turned the corner and practically ran into him. He pulled out a switchblade and stabbed me.
It didn't look like he realized who I was until a couple seconds later, then he tried to comfort me. Apparently I'd ran into a big drug deal, and he was on edge. On edge enough to stab me, at least. He got me in the boob, so I wasn't too badly hurt. I decided that I couldn't take it any more, so I went back home, grabbed a few things, and told them I was spending the night at a friend's house. Instead I spent the night out by the creek, and then the next day at school, I asked the author of this post (who I was already really good friends with) if I could come with him. He said sure, and here I am now. I haven't entered a foster home since I picked up a change of clothes after school that day. My wounded tit is an object of much curiosity from everybody who sees me topless, for anyone who was wondering.

What to Bring?
As for gear and transportation, I'm more well-versed in that. The first time I left home, I went extremely bare-bones. To put all of my shit in, I brought a medium-sized hiking backpack that I got from Goodwill. It wasn't one of the fancy ones from Osprey or whatever, just a canvas sack. You need to think about the essentials first, not fancy trinkets. That means food, water, and shelter. I would bring a sleeping bag and a tarp (shelter), canned foods and other high-nutrition foods (food), and a milk jug full of water. Don't start out trainhopping, but if/when you eventually do (after getting a mentor), bring two or more full gallon jugs full of water. Also don't bring a tent. They're bulky, heavy, expensive, and they attract attention. I find a tarp to be much more useful.
Beyond the essentials, there's things that you could live without, but are good to have.

Lighter and tinder. A campfire can cook food and keep you warm, both of which will be needed.
Some paracord. Useful for fastening shit to your backpack and much more. Don't take too much, if you have to cut it burn the ends to keep it from fraying.
A pocketknife. I'll put in a defense section after this, but a pocketknife is good for cooking and eating too. I used to have a Leatherman Juice, which I unfortunately lost a couple months ago. I now have a Wave+, which probably is too heavy.
Dr. Bronners soap. This soap is gold. It cleans everything from bodies to plates to hair, and you barely need to use a drop. Alternatively, dish soap is good, or even a bar of soap.
Fishing stuff. I like to fish, all you really need is a good long stick, a couple hooks/lures, a swivel and a bunch of fishing line. It takes some practice, but you can eat like a king with a whopper catfish cooked over an open fire. The best fishing rod is bamboo. I've got a homemade one that I bought from an old Cajun dude near Thibodaux. No, his name wasn't Amos Moses.
First aid. Your generic first aid kit will be useless; bring stuff that will help you.
- Duct tape (not just first aid, this is good in general)
- Restaurant napkins (for bandages and toilet paper)
- Ibuprofen, Advil (or generic versions)
- Any personal medical stuff (epipens, prescriptions, etc) although I would be very cautious of running away with a prescription. You'll be found out if you try to refill it.
Clothes. You don't need a lot, I'll go over warmth in the next bullet point. You're not going to smell good, but you don't need to. Just bring a t-shirt and jeans, maybe a pair of shorts too. I have a baseball cap that I love. If you're travelling in the desert, wear a thin shirt with long sleeves, some light pants, and a hat with a wide brim on all sides.
Warm clothes. This depends, but there are some basics. I travel with a heavy flannel, a hunting jacket, and a rain shell. When I'm travelling in the fall/wintespring, which is a rarity, I add on insulated Carhartts and long john bottoms. The only time when that layout has been stressed was when I hopped a train during a blizzard around Christmas a couple years ago. I think it was about 15 or 20 below 0 and I was cold as fuck. If you're east of the Rockies you probably won't need much or any warmth during the summer, but I do a lot of travelling in high mountains, deserts, etc. where it can get below freezing any time of the year.
An instrument. I'm a trombone player, which is not the best instrument for trainhopping. Still, I manage. I've got a junky trombone that I strap to my pack (paracord!) or put inside, and take it everywhere, and then I've got a somewhat nicer one that I leave with a friend in NOLA. It's a pain in the ass to carry around, but it pays. I try to go to New Orleans for at least a couple weeks a year. It's paradise for a jazz musician. I busk a lot, often solo, sometimes with a partner. I once raked in $450 in 5 days busking in New Orleans with me, a vocalist, and a saxophonist, both of whom I just met on the street.
Money. Busking is a means to an end. Start off with at least $100. My first time I had $72, which ran out somewhere around Ogden, UT. Mormons can be very friendly, but not to buskers, so I pretty much starved until I got to Cheyenne. Other ways to make money:
- Farms. I grew up in the Central Valley of CA, where pretty much every vegetable or nut you eat comes from. Farms surround me. Here, you have to know Spanish to get a job, because 90% of the workers are Latino, and many are undocumented immigrants. Farm work here is fucking hard and for horrible wages, but it's usually easy to find if you know where to look.
- That's really the only one I can think of. Check out the Advice Directory over on vagabond (currently deleted due to shit going on there).
Headlamp. Flashlights are meh, but a good headlamp is indestructible and you don't need hands.
Toiletries. I like being clean, I will admit. Along with Dr. Bronners, mentioned above, I just take a normal toiletry kit: toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, that's about all. The girls I've traveled with just bring normal period products.
Weight. I go as light as I can, because my trombone weighs 12.5 pounds. My pack is usually around 30 or 35 pounds with the trombone, but if you don't have a heavy-ass instrument like me, you can be more lenient with trimming weight. I'm 6'1" and 160 pounds, so I carry more than most others, I think the ideal pack weight for somebody a bit smaller than me is more on the 25 pound side than the 35 pound side. The second summer I was on the road, I carried two trombones from California to New Orleans, bringing my pack weight up to around 45 pounds. That royally sucked. I don't recommend all that ultralight stuff, it won't last long on the streets, and it's crazy expensive. I once went into REI to buy a pair of long johns, and I was absolutely appalled at what these people will pay for the tiniest thing. Like, 100 bucks for a fancy chair? Nah, man, a log is much sturdier and less expensive, and you don't have to carry it around.

Protection
As I said earlier, I always have a pocketknife. I've got a leather holster strapped to my belt that I can easily pop open. Like jouscat said, it's no use if you can't get to it. At points in my "career", I've carried a hunting knife, bear spray, a switchblade (for a couple weeks in LA), and coins in a sock. DO NOT CALL ANYBODY'S BLUFF. If you're in a sketchy neighborhood or jungle, keep your knife in plain sight, but do not pull it on somebody unless you are prepared to use it. When I was 15, I pulled a knife on a crackhead in Missoula who was acting threatening and insane, as crackheads will. Bad idea. I woke up an hour later after he punched me in the side of the head and left me in the gravel. It could've been much worse. I woke up because a train was roaring by. He could've put my head on the rails. He could've dragged me back to his shack in the woods, and I would've been dead to the world, or for real dead. I could never use a knife on another person, thus the bear spray. I walked straight to downtown Missoula after I woke up and bought a can of bear spray. I usually keep it out when I'm in grizzly country, otherwise it looks out of place and suspicious. I have not had to use it yet.
If you're hitchhiking with somebody who's starting to look threatening, pull out an apple and slice it very carefully and deliberately. This is the oldest trick in the book, but it works.
Prostitution
According to the US Justice Department, "1/3 of teenagers on the street will be approached by a pimp within 48 hours of leaving home". I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT DO PROSTITUTION. I once met a prostitute in LA, who had been pulled into it at age 16 after she ran away from home because her stepfather was raping her. She said that running away was the worst thing that ever happened to her. She attempted to commit suicide after 6 months of it, but it just fucked her with a lot of hospital bills. As far as I know she's still a prostitute. Read this article about child prostitution in NYC (I think there's a paywall if you're on mobile). There's also this one that provides many very in-depth articles/videos about how people get sucked in, how they are kept in, and how they can get out. If anybody has more experience with this type of thing, comment, or post on runaway. I think it's not talked about as much as it should be.
My mother ran away from home at 16, a fact that I just learned recently. She was from Mexicali, crossed the border illegally and went up to Seattle, and then to Alaska. In Anchorage, she got addicted to heroin, and prostituted herself to survive. She eventually tried to go back to Mexico, but got waylaid 100 feet from the border by my dad, recently released from prison. Well, a year later, my dad moved 3-month old me and my mom up to Bakersfield, where he immediately got sent back to prison for beating my mom. She moved to Nevada with me, and of course wound up doing prostitution again. She never talked about it, but it must've been horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anybody, no matter how much pain they've caused me.
Where to Sleep
When it comes time to bed down, you may just want to crash wherever. But put some thought into your choice of location. If I'm hopping trains, I like to sleep at the edge of the yard. Usually there's some woods, or even just a patch of shrubs, that provide some visual protection. Don't sleep in jungles (hobo camps). Some people there are pretty insane. I'll spend the evening with them or whatever, but then sneak off to my own quiet corner of the yard so that I won't find myself robbed blind and with a knife in my back in the morning. If I'm hitchhiking, I'll ask them to drop me off next to a creek somewhere, preferably with some trees. I like sleeping next to creeks. Even if they're too polluted to drink from (always filter your water either way), they're still nice. Unless they attract mosquitos. That sucks.
If you can sleep on government land, that's the best, but I don't really worry about who owns the land. Leave no trace, and everybody's happy. BLM/State/National Forest land is the best, though, because it's legal, and usually prettier than some farm. Unless you're sure of your camping and defense skills, don't go too far out into the wilderness. There are weird people out there, and nature isn't forgiving.
Sleeping in town is no fun. Let's start from the outer ring and go in to the middle. If you sleep at the edge of town, you are likely to be stumbled upon by a bunch of drunk, possibly horny dudes who are trying not to get caught drinking by their wives. If you sleep in the suburbs, you are likely to get reported by some Karen for disturbing her perfect little world. If you sleep in an older part of town, you're likely to run into some illegal activity, and possibly get mugged. And if you sleep in the downtown/inner city, you'll be one of a thousand other homeless people, many who are mentally ill, and all who are competing for a limited number of benches, porches, doorsteps, and parks.
A note on abandoned houses. If there's not a whole lot of graffiti, and it's not very easily accessed, I'd go for it. Make sure to position yourself in a place where you can get out easily, though. If it has tons of graffiti, litter, old needles, etc., get the fuck out.
But if you do find a good spot, make sure to scope it out before going to bed. Are there multiple escape routes? Sketchy characters hanging around? Shit like that. If all is good, go right ahead. Don't make a fire in the western states during the summer unless there's a fire ring or you have a can or a barrel or something. Grass catches fire easier than you think, and starting a fire around here is a good way to start a hundred-thousand-plus acre fire.
Transportation
Start off hitchhiking. If you're running away, get as far away as you need to, and then you can try other ways to get around. Go to a freeway exit or a gas station and hold out your thumb. If you see somebody with a license plate from a state where you're trying to go, or near there, maybe walk up to them and ask for a ride. It might feel weird at first, but you'll get the hang of it. Also, be careful of who you ride with. Do they look threatening? Deranged? An addict? Don't go with them. The best people to go with are nice old ladies or young couples. Rarely ever do either of those people pick up hitchhikers. Usually I get rides with single dudes, often middle aged, even more often truckers. If you're a girl, the risk is even more elevated. I would not recommend hitchhiking if you don't think you could defend yourself from a big redneck with lots of experience getting in bar fights. There are too many creeps out there. Trust your instincts.
The summer of 2019 was the first (and only so far) time I traveled with a partner full-time. Annie and I were looking for a ride in Twin Falls, Idaho in September, and not having much luck. It took a day and a half, but finally we got a ride with an old dude who said his name was Benny and he was bound for Portland. Well, we went with him, because we really had no choice, even though I had a weird feeling about him. All was good until the stretch of nothingness in between Ontario and Baker City. He pulled off a highway exit called Weatherby, saying he had to go to the bathroom, but instead he turned up a one-lane gravel road and pulled out a gun, saying he'd shoot if we tried to flee. He took us way back in the woods to a hidden cove about 20 miles off the freeway, where he tried to tie me up. Thankfully, he turned his back on Annie, and she kicked him in the crotch and then in the head. Let me tell you, you do not want to be kicked anywhere on your body with steel-toed boots. We took his truck back to the interstate and then begged a ride with a trucker at the rest stop. I don't know what became of Benny, but that was a fucking horrible experience. He was after Annie, not me, and I don't think he was going to play patty-cake with her.
Trainhopping. Is dangerous. Is unreliable. But I love it. Get a mentor, and don't almost lose a finger like I did. Head on over to the advice directory on vagabond, there's some amazing stuff over there.
Hiking is slow, but great when you're in a remote, beautiful area. In 2019, I took 6 days to hike from Silverton, Colorado, to Monte Vista. 124 miles. It was insanely tiring though, even for two very fit teenagers.
Biking is faster than hiking, by quite a bit. I once biked from my hometown near Sacramento to Truckee in two days. After that I ditched the bike (it was free from the side of the interstate) and hopped a train out. Too much uphill travel, from 0 feet above sea level up to 7,500, and then back down to 6,000. All in about 120 miles.
By far the most novel method of travel I've tried is by boat. I floated/motored down the Mississippi River in 2019 from Memphis to New Orleans, almost 650 miles. I had a tiny metal rowboat with an outboard motor that worked maybe half the time. Annie and I averaged about 65 miles a day, stopping in pretty much every little village along the way and taking turns sleeping at night. It was kind of like Huck Finn, but with a noisy and finnicky motor. If I were to do it again I'd do it more Huckleberry-like, taking my time with a raft, and maybe an electric motor. Still, it was a great experience, and I'd recommend it if you can get your hands on a boat.
There are others, but I won't talk about them here.
People are Weird and Creepy and Horrible
Adults are pedophiles. Just assume that every adult will try to make an advance on you. Sorry to all y'all great adults, but it's better safe than sorry. Even as a 6'1" male, I've had random dudes and even a woman once try to seduce me. Annie and the other female partners I've traveled with have it even worse. When you're trainhopping and hitchhiking, it's unavoidable that you'll be travelling through the bad part of town. Almost every city has it, but especially cities in California and the Rust Belt. I don't have much experience with the East Coast, but I saw some pretty bad ghettos in Baltimore and Philly during my short stay there. NOLA has it really bad. The neighborhoods there have gotten a triple gut punch - they were already ghettos, they're mostly black, meaning society ignores their issues, and they were devastated by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. The ghettos anywhere have trafficking, murders, muggings, crazed homeless dudes, and more. Keep a low profile and stay away from shady characters (drug dealers/gang members).
If you get a bad feeling from someone, just nope the fuck out. Walk away if you're in a railyard or a gas station, or ask to get out if you're hitchhiking. Usually they'll let you out, but if they don't, say something about how you forgot that you were supposed to meet your (big stocky club bouncer) friend at the last freeway exit, and if you don't, they'll get worried. Works 9/10 times.
I'm going to let Annie write a section here on some of her experiences with creepy adults.

The summer of 2019 was the first time I had vagabonded. I needed to get away from my foster home, and I knew what SugarBowlSkier (Let's call him Jimmy) was doing, so I asked to come along with him. He said ok, and we left a couple days after the last day of school. We took a bus to Reno (had gotten almost free tickets from an old road buddy of Jimmy's who had to cancel). We were walking around a sketchy warehouse area east of the downtown, on our way to the Sparks yard, and Jimmy had ducked behind a building to take a leak. Some dude who had been in the shadows somewhere walked out and grabbed my boob. I punched him and yelled, and Jimmy came running back. I got out of that one fine, but I was fucking scared after that. Just 5 hours after leaving home. It might seem like I'm writing this easily, but it's fucking painful to talk about it.
Jimmy mentioned the horrible experience with the motherfucker named Benny. That was by far the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I cried for days after that. The trucker who we got a ride with from the rest stop took us back to Nampa, where we hopped a train to Pocatello. We stayed in a motel there for almost a week, just collecting ourselves. I didn't hitchhike any more on that trip, but I have hitchhiked a couple times since that time.
In a rail jungle in Atlanta, one of the guys in the jungle pulled out his dick in my face. He was tossed out of the camp.
There have been other incidents, but not as bad as those.
-"Annie"

That's all true. I have to mention one thing about the time in Atlanta. The guy was literally thrown out of the camp. Four people grabbed each of his arms/legs and tossed him. Don't fuck around like that creep did.
The Law
Running away is illegal. No question about it. Stay away from cops, for more reason than one. A cop tried to arrest me for being a "public nuisance", whatever that is, in Billings once. I was sleeping in a park during the daytime. I just ran. Thankfully the cop was fat AF, so it was easy to run around the corner and jump a fence into somebody's backyard. If you're black, cops are 90% of the time your worst enemy. Even more so if you're black and homeless. I'm a white guy (technically half Mexican, but I didn't learn that until recently), so I can't offer any advice on that, and I won't try to. Just stay safe, whatever that means. If you're a runaway and trainhopping, that's double illegal, so work even harder to keep a low profile. Don't do drugs, even marijuana (even if it's legal, cops don't like it), don't drink (do as I say not as I do), and if you see anything illegal going on get the fuck out. The fuzz will suspect you if you're near the scene of a crime, and even if they don't you'll be questioned, and then they'll most likely realize you're a runaway.
A note on alcohol: I am not a good example for this. I have drank my fair share of alcohol, and so has Annie. I'm praying my sister doesn't think to look on my phone/computer, because she has no idea. I almost got alcohol poisoning after drinking multiple bottles of tequila (I don't really remember) a couple weeks ago. Alcohol will put you out of your misery... until the next morning. Then all your problems will come right back even worse then before, and you'll be fucked. Also, if you get caught, you're going down. So don't drink, kids.
Phones
I don't bring a phone while on the road. To me it's just another thing that ties me to our fucked up society, and a distraction. Also you can be tracked with a cell phone even if you turn location data off. I know that my parents wouldn't try to track me, but I am very worried that the government might try to put me, my sister, and Annie in a foster home if they realize our situation.
Housing
This might seem like a weird section to put in a post about being on the road, but the reality is that you won't be able to run away forever. The first time I ran away, I came back in late August and lived with my parents and sister for a winter. That's probably not an option for most runaways. The next summer I was on the road again, and then I came back to live with them again. Around Christmas (when else) I had to go down to Fresno for a week for a job, and when I came back my parents had kicked out my sister and skipped town. I flipped out and drove to where she said they had moved to (I'm not going to reveal the location because it's a very small town), and got in a bad fight with my dad. He was on some sort of drug, so he wasn't very coherent, but I gathered that he and my mom had split up. He went to the tiny town, and she went to Vegas, where it seems like every fuck-up in the world ends up. I went back home and tried to figure out what to do.
My sister and I slept in the bed of my truck for about a month, and I ended up getting a distant family member to rent a tiny apartment for me and my sister, with me paying. I only did it that way because you can't rent a house as a minor. I lived there with my sister for the rest of the winter, but when summer came my sister told me that I had to go on the road. She saw how overworked and depressed I was, being cooped up in my little town, while balancing school and a job to support two people. Bless her soul for that. She went to live with some relatives for the summer while Annie and I went on the road. When school started but I was still gone, she went back home and lived with a friend until I came back. After that summer, I rented another house, this time slightly bigger, but still tiny by anybody's standards, and Annie moved in with us. It's a lot nicer now that there's two people with jobs in the household. I won't let my sister get a job for various reasons. She's too young to have all that responsibility.
It's hard living like this, but we make do. When my sister and I first rented the house, we could've moved somewhere else and rented for several times less, but I wanted to stay in my hometown. For all it's faults, it's where I was raised, and it's where my few friends are. I could be living like a king in Bakersfield, but here I am, doing my math homework with pencils scavenged out of the gutter. I have second thoughts about staying almost every day, but it was the right choice for my family. Now, I'm facing eviction, and that whole plan has been turned on it's head.
Suggestions on housing. Get something as cheap as possible, even if it's in a bad neighborhood. The first apartment I rented was in a pretty average neighborhood. When we had to upsize slightly to accommodate Annie, we moved to a dumpy little road in the country. The people here are pretty nice, though. It has the major disadvantage of being far from town, and without a reliable car, I have to get up at 3:00 every morning to bike to town and make my 5:00 AM shift at my job, which ends at 8. I'm sometimes late to online school, but what can you do? I end up working about 8-10 hours a day on weekdays, about 14-16 on Saturday, and then Sunday is my day off, only 6-8 hours.
I also will do landscaping jobs whenever we're hurting for money, but that's less reliable and hard to fit into my schedule.
Annie works (at a different place than me) from 8:00 PM to 4:00 AM every weekday. We're both insanely sleep-deprived and overworked 24/7/365, but still pretty much broke. Remember, this is "Realities", not "Dreams". If you want to support yourself, you'll have to work at least 60 hours a week, most likely more. I get paid minimum wage at both my jobs (gas station and farm), Annie slightly above. If you're alone, you should try and find an organization that will take you in. I've got a family member on the board of directors of a boy's home, and although they struggle a lot, it sounds better for the boys than being on the streets.
I guess we're kind of like parents to my sister, although we aren't romantically involved. It sure is a taxing job to be a parent to a rebellious teenage girl. I could write a whole article on unconventional parenting situations, but I'll save it for another time.
School
Don't kid yourself. You will not be able to go to school while running away. It doesn't matter what the law says, you will be reported and sent home if you try to enroll in school. I don't know about online school, however. I'm not anything of a tech wizard, so I have no idea if they'd be able to track you if you keep logging on. I try to be on the road only when school is out, but it doesn't always work out that way. In 2019, I didn't get back home until early October. That kind of sucked, because I missed over a month of school.
Here at home, I get by with school, even though I work 74+ hours a week and get maybe 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night. I never skip classes, and usually pull low B's and sometimes high C's. It's not going to get me into Harvard, but then again I won't be able to afford even community college. One of my two jobs (the non-farm one) is at a gas station, and I can tell you that working the graveyard shift at a gas station in a small town is the MOST. FUCKING. BORING. Job ever. It does give me a lot of time to do homework, browse Reddit, and listen to punk music. So if you ever walk into a gas station near Sacramento and hear The Offspring quickly being shut off, say hi to me.
I don't know if anybody at school beyond my one or two closest friends knows my situation. It's not exactly a secret, but I don't go shouting around the halls about it either. I don't care much for the whole popularity thing, but if I did I'm sure living in a half-abandoned house with no parents and working at a gas station would not win me any favors. My sister is more worried about that shit, I can't fathom why. But she does it without being a jerk like many popular kids, so I can't judge.
Crossing Borders
This may seem kind of off-topic, but for one reason or another, it's something that I've found comes into play quite a bit when you're on the road.
State borders are easy. 90% of the time you'll just drive right over them. On busy roads in some states (like my state of California) they have agricultural inspection stations, where they prohibit you from bringing most vegetables, nuts, and fruit into the state to avoid these. There's no real danger to get found out with these, as long as you do what they said and don't panic. It's literally just telling them, "No sir, I do not have any produce with me."
National borders are trickier. I've got no experience legally crossing national borders, but I know that you need your passport in 99% of places (I think San Diego and Tijuana might have some arrangement). I have, however, snuck over both the Canadian and Mexican border briefly. I'm not going to tell you how to do it, because it's highly illegal, but I will say this: don't do it. This is another thing where you should do as I say, not as I do, because if you are caught on the other side of the border without a passport, you will be sent to jail and then tried.
My mom was an undocumented immigrant. She ran away from Mexicali at 16, and ended up in Anchorage, a prostitute and a heroin addict. I only learned this a couple days ago, and I haven't seen her in years, but if I ever do see her again, I would like to ask her about her experience. I know that it was successful, though.
Another reason not to cross the Mexican border: Mexico is fucking dangerous. In Agua Prieta, I heard way more gunshots in the two nights I was there than the two nights I spent right outside of Skid Row in LA. In Piedras Negras, I swam across the Rio Grande just to say I'd done it, and although I was only over there for about 6 hours, I saw the most poverty that I've ever seen. My last border experience was perhaps the worst. A couple days after Piedras Negras, I wanted to try it out again, so I swam from Laredo to Nuevo Laredo. It was hard avoiding the border patrol, who were hidden all over, but I managed to get across OK. I wandered around Nuevo for a while, and then realized it was getting dark, and I didn't want to be there during the night. I walked the mile or so back to the river, but it was swarming with US and Mexican government people. My best guess is that there was a crime or something, or maybe somebody drowned.
Either way, I couldn't get back that way, so I figured I'd have to walk either north or south out of town. I didn't want to be walking around at night, though, so I chose to sleep in a nice-looking park next to a hospital. At around 2:00 AM, I was woken up by screaming, and then a couple minutes later sirens. I was sleeping without a sleeping bag or anything since the low was above 80 degrees that night, so I was able to get the fuck out in about 30 seconds. I ran/walked the 2 or so miles to a golf course next to the river, which I snuck across and then swam across the river. It was fucking crazy. I never found out what happened at the park, or what caused the patrollers to be all over the area. It would've been mid-July 2018, I think. Anybody know anything? All three of those times were in 2018, and I haven't crossed into Mexico since, and I don't plan to again.
Mental Health
Being on the streets is lonely. It helps if you're with a partner, but if you're alone, you can go weeks without any meaningful contact with others. I like that, but I know it can be hard for people. I saw somebody make a very good point in a thread here recently. When you're hitchhiking, you're kind of acting as that person's anonymous therapist. They will never see you again, and neither of you have any idea who the other is, so they're free to pour their heart out to you. It can be hard hearing about that. I've ridden with people who were falsely charged with murder, have attempted suicide, and even a man with terminal cancer.
For me though, being on the streets helps my mental health more than it hurts it. I've been very depressed at points in my life, and several times the only thing standing in between me and suicide was the thought that my sister would have nobody to support her. Being sedentary sucks, and I try not to let it get to me, but it does. I've been at home for almost 500 days due to COVID, with only two or three opportunities to get out. Late winter and spring were the hardest, but surprisingly the pandemic made it better. I didn't have to be an outcast at school every day, and I had more time to work, meaning we were in a better financial situation. I can't express how thankful I am that I wasn't laid off of either of my jobs, as so many people were. We'd be in a bad fucking situation if that happened.
Another thing that can bring you down mentally is seeing the underbelly of our society. You'll be walking through the metaphorical and literal back alley of wherever you are. You'll see all the things that make the world bad: junkies, gangs, extreme poverty, trafficking, you name it and it will be encountered. The worst I've experienced this was in Stockton, one of the most dangerous and poor cities in the US. Every alley holds a junkie shooting up on their poison of choice, gang violence has decimated the south part of the city, and parts of South Stockton look worse than Detroit. Even if this doesn't affect you physically, it really takes a toll on you mentally.
Overview
Running away is dangerous, hard, and illegal. You should only do it if it provides a better situation than the one you are in. Carry protection, probably a knife, but don't call people's bluff. Don't get involved in prostitution, no matter how desperate you are. Trust your instincts about people. If they give you a bad feeling, get away from them. If you are a girl, you most likely will be sexually harassed, and possibly raped. Stay away from cops, don't do anything illegal, and especially don't cross borders. You won't be able to go to school on the road. Eventually you'll have to settle down somewhere, so have a plan for that. Will you be 18 by then? If so, that makes it a lot easier.
I've been dumb. I've made bad decisions. Many of them. That's probably led to me having a worse-than-average experience. But I hope that y'all can learn from my mistakes and do it better.
I know that there are going to be people who go through my whole account just to shut me down, so I'm just going to say that you will find discrepancies. I don't mention my situation unless it's called for. People feel sorry for me, and I hate it. If a person is going to take the time to search my post history, they deserve to know my story.
I'm going to finish with a quote from my second grade teacher and pretty much everyone since: "Life isn't fair."

TheOakDwarf's best of 2020.

Another year, another best of post. I seem to stray further and further away from power metal, going from 400 PM albums in 2018 to only like 50 this year and in line with that I'll be including a list of the best music outside of PM at the bottom.
The List will therefore be divided into 3 parts:

BEST METAL ALBUMS
BEST NON-METAL ALBUMS
OTHER INDIVIDUAL IMPRESSIVE STUFF (Singles, christmas specials,...) - Mostly non-metal

Feel free to skip any of the parts that don't interest you.
As per usual, massive thanks to JacksonWarrior for the weekly release, the folks over at the Powermetal discord for loads of recommendations and anyone else who was like "hey you might like this".
SO... here's the best that 2020 had to offer, starting strong with the most relevant category.

BEST METAL ALBUMS OF 2020

Compared to 2019, 2020 didn't have that many incredible power metal albums, so for this year I'm combining all metal genres into one list and also including the EP's. Keep in mind, a vast majority of the metal I listen to is Power Metal, with the occasional Prog Metal, Folk Metal and Death (or more likely Melo-Death) Metal. So this list is more like "BEST POWER METAL AND POWER METAL ADJACENT ALBUMS OF 2020". Also, I only included albums I truly loved and would recommend and decided to leave out the "kinda ok" stuff. But anyway, let's dive in:

8. Helion Prime - Question Everything - Power

A very very welcome return to form for Helion Prime. I quite liked their debut album and "Life finds a way" is still their best song ever and the only one I listen to frequently. Thematically, the theme shifted from sci-fi to just sci, as all the songs were references to famous scientists and while I generally don't care all that much about lyrical themes, this one seemed to fit the songs quite nicely. Musically, this album is closer to their first one and that's a good thing. I didn't find that any the songs stood out, but the album as a whole worked well. The only exception to this is the title song "Question Everything" featuring all 3 of the vocalists across their 3 albums. A powerful and catchy chorus, lovely harmonies, quality guitar work.. great song. I wasn't particulary looking forward to this album, but am now once again excited for their next release.
Best song: Question Everything

7. Alestorm - Curse of the crystal coconut - Pirate?? Kinda powefolk

Probably the biggest name on the list, everyone's favorite pirate band. It's well known that Alestorm have gone full meme at this point and I love every second of it. You have the sing along pop choruses, epic tales and everything in between. Albums like these truly make you wish we could go to concerts, as singing along to these songs with thousands of people seems like the only true way of consuming them. Not much else to say, if you know Alestorm, this is more of what they do best, if not, this is an ok place to start, just don't take it too seriously.
Best song: Treasure Chest Party Quest

6. Unlucky Morpheus - Unfinished - Power

I think at this point I'm more or less ready to say that Unlucky Morpheus are the best active JPM band. The title might be unfinished, but the album is anything but. This album is everything you think of when you think of Japanese Power Metal with the sort of "Attack on titan" intro grandiose aesthetic. Lovely string sections, powerful clean vocals, fitting harsh vocals, all topped off with classic power metal guitars. Not quite as good as their 2018 album, but still a great album.
Best song: Carry on singing to the sky and Unending Sorceress

5. Unleash The Archers - Abyss - Power

The other truly big name on the list, coming in at number 5 are North Americas darlings and the biggest power metal act on this side of the atlantic. Personally, I don't consider anything they did before Apex, their 2017 release, worth mentioning, but since then something really kicked them into gear and they've been putting out fantastic music. Abyss is both lyrically and musically a great successor to Apex, but it does keep things fresh. The archers continue to explore their style musically, with songs like "Legacy" very very heavily resembling Devin Townsend's Kingdom and also falling into the trend of leaning more and more on keys, but it all sounds great. My only issue with the album and the reason why it isn't higher up on the list is that it's not consistently great. I have listened to the songs from "Legacy" to "The Wind That Shapes The Land" around 40 times and the rest of the album maybe 4 times. Not that the rest of the album is bad, but if this was a 5 song EP it'd likely be an aoty contender.
Still, I'm super excited for their next album.
Best song: Soulbound and The Wind That Shapes The Land

4. Aether Realm - Redneck Vikings From Hell - PoweMelodeath/Folk

The first truly massive surprise for me comes in the form of Aether Realm. I was aware of them prior to this album, but other than a couple of songs, they never really impressed me. Well, that all changed with this album. They took a path similar to Grailknights where they went from melodeath to more power metal and it worked really well for them. You can think of their sounds as a mix of Alestorm, Aephenemer and some arena metal elements. All in all, great stuff. The album is also quite diverse, ranging from full meme arena stuff in the title track to "power ballads" in "Guardian" and full on melodeath/power stuff in "She's Back". You would be forgiven for skipping the last 3 songs as the album does kind of fall off.
Best song: She's Back and Redneck Vikings From Hell

3. Seven Spires - Emerald Seas - PoweSymphonic

The bronze medal for 2020 goes to Seven Spires. I was not aware of this band before they released this album and that's alright, as this is much better than their debut. A very standard powesymphonic sound that we've not seen around much anymore, done to absolute perfection. Adrienne Cowan is now probably my favorite female vocalist in the genre, hearing her sing over some beautiful orchestration, swapping between beautiful cleans and brutal harshes, absolutely sold this album for me. Much like Aether Realm and Unleash the Archers, not all the song on this are great, especially the songs where only harsh vocals are featured (such as "Drowner of Worlds") simply just don't do it for me. But, when they hit the mark, they really hit it. The style that really sounds like it would work great in a power metal opera has a bright future with Seven Spires.
Also, if Adrienne is to be believed, the writing for the next album is finished, so we might have another one of these quite soon. Fingers crossed.
Best song: Succumb and Bury You

2. Fellowship - Fellowship - Power

AAAAA I love it when a debut album makes it to a best of list. And boy did this one deserve it. There is of course a very obvious comparison to make if you've never heard of Fellowship. It's basically Twilight Force, but instead of all the sparkly disney stuff you get Power metal and guitars. It's all incredible, Glint gives me chills everything the chorus line "STORM THROUGH THE GATES TO THE STRENGTH THAT I HOLD INSIDE" comes on. They might be hitting a lot of the cliches with their songs and they might dress up like hobbits, but I will be here to listen to whatever they wanna record next. The future of power metal in the making here folks.
Also, they did a power metal cover of "Can you feel the love tonight" so how can you not love these guys?
Best song: Glint

1. Boisson Divine - La Halha - Folk/Power

And there it is, the best metal album of 2020. The biggest surprise of them all. Boisson Divine are a french band that play mostly some form of folk metal in Gascon, so you'd be forgiven for not knowing them. But fear not, dear reader, for you are in the dark no more.
La Halha sets itself apart from the rest of the albums on this list by not having any bad songs. All of the songs on this album are amazing. Whenever I got the chance to, I would listen to this album in its entirety. That's not to say that songs aren't unique. There are definitely highlights to the album, but when you're not listening to the best stuff, you're still listening to greatness. The songs feature all sorts of folk instruments like bagpipes, flutes and the hurdy-gurdy with always accompanying guitars and excellent vocals. I don't understand what they're singing about and yet I always wanna join in on a chorus. I listened to this album every day on my daily run and did not get bored of it after months.
After this one, I went to check out the rest of their discography and discovered 3 more great albums, oh the joy. La Halha is their best yet, but all of them are worth checking out.
Best song: Libertat (but honestly all of them are bangers)

BEST ALBUMS OUTSIDE OF POWER METAL 2019

Much like last year, Power Metal and metal in general were not the only genres I spent time listening to. Last year the non-metal stuff was better than the metal stuff, with Moron Police - Under the Sea still being my most listened to album of 2020, whereas this year the sections were more even, but nonetheless there were loads of very nice albums this year as well. Like the metal section, I only included albums I truly loved and would recommend. The genres are included in the title, so if you enjoy the overall genre, give the album a listen.

9. The Night Flight Orchestra - Aeromantic - Rock(80's/90's worship)

Another year, another Night Flight Orchestra album. This one makes it 3 in the last 4 years. It's very much more of the same, hype, feel-good old school rock that fits in very well with the current trends in music. I would actually say that this is probably their weakest album, but it's still pretty nice. Songs like Divinlys and Aeromantic are up there with some of their best, but a good chunk of the album kinda fits more of a "background in a movie" vibe.
But their best work this year came in the form of 2 songs that weren't on this album. A Christmas special "Paper Moon" and an instrumental that was a teaser for the album called "Cabin Pressure Drops". The instrumental kinda feels like something Dire Straits would write (something along the lines of "Theme of the Local Hero") and the Christmas special is just a classic NFO song with a festive twist.
Best songs: Divinlys and Paper Moon

8. Taylor Swift - Folklore and Evermore - Folk/Pop/Indie

You might think you've left powermetal, but I actually unironically quite liked these albums. Taylor Swift has been slowly moving from the straight pop she did 5 or so years ago to the more indie/folk sound. On her 2019 album there were a couple of these songs, but she really embraced it in her 2 2020 albums. Thematically, it's still very much Taylor Swift with the "girl is angry at boy" and "You made me into angry woman" stuff, but here and there the lyrics do get quite interesting when she talks about more than just bad relationships, a great example being "the last great american dynasty". I'm not a fan of the explicit lyrics on a couple of the songs, but they do add something to the authenticity of the feelings she's singing about and coincidentally they are a part of most of the best songs.
Musically, Taylor's beautiful vocals are complimented by sometimes relatively simple guitar picking or a piano riff. The intro on songs like "betty" sound like something straight from a Bob Dylan album and if she does more of this and less of the Lana Del Rey sounding stuff, I will gladly listen to her next couple of albums.
Best songs: Betty and exile

7. King Gizzard & the Wizard Lizard - Progressive/Psychedelic rock

King Gizzard & The Wizard Lizard seemingly never run out of creative juice, so their 16th album delivers once more and lands on this list. The standard microtonal, odd time signatures boasting sound that we've come to expect from King Gizzard once more shows up here. There's a riff that shows up in a majority of the songs that's used as a motif, but the band makes sure that it's always used in a new way so the album never feels stale. The songs that don't feature it (Ontology, Intrasport and The Hungry Wolf of Fate) stand out even more and almost feel out of place on the album and I didn't really like them that much (except for Ontology, Ontology is great).
I would love for them to go back to the more proggy Jazz inspired style from "Sketches of Brunswick East" and "Quarters!" or the more folky "Paper Mache Dream Baloon", but I'm not complaining about the current style either.
Best song: Honey

6. Fleet Foxes - Shore - Indie folk

Fleet foxes return after a 3 year pause and 9 years after their timeless masterpiece "Helplessness Blues" that in my mind forever defined the Indie folk genre. This is somewhat of a step back from the more experimental 2017 album and its atmosphere and feeling are best described by the title, it's like being on a shore in a very relaxed state of mind. Here and there you'll find more straight forward "aggressive" songs like "A Long Way Past the Past" and towards the end you'll find some prog-ish musical add-ons (see best songs), but overall this is still very much the Fleet Foxes we know and love.
Best songs: Can I believe you and Quiet AiGioia

5. Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Side B - Pop

Just like Carly did with Emotion back in 2015, she released a Side B with Dedicated this year. And much like Emotion Side B, a vast majority of the stuff that's on Dedicated Side B could very easily be on the "main" album. There really isn't much to say about this album musically, as it really is just an extension of last year's masterpiece. A couple of the songs sound a bit weird, like Fake Mona Lisa, but it's still an overall enjoyable experience.
Also, Carly blessed us with a Christmas single and it's GREAT. Not the most uplifting of lyrics, but that sure didn't stop me from listening to it over and over again. And while I'm at it, do yourself a favor and listen to her 2012 Christmas song Mittens, one of my personal favorites.
Best songs: Felt this Way and Comeback

4.Karfagen - Birds of Passage and Principles and Theory of Spektra - Symphonic Prog Rock

Karfagen back in the top of the year list with 2 wonderful releases. This really is a magical project that keeps putting out some of the chill, fantastical musical adventures. Largely instrumental pieces, the style shifts from atmospheric indie to kinda jazzy stuff and then over to very prog sections. You need to look no further than the best songs to see the variety in their music and the appeal it has. It also helps that they're 22 and 12 minutes long respectively.
Best songs: Birds of Passage(part 1) and Phantasmagoria

3. Hump Back - 人間なのさ - J-Pop/J-Rock

Coming in at number 3 is another debut album, this time from the Japanese band Hump Back. I do not speak or read Japanese, so some lovely people from the Power Metal discord (which I would highly recommend you joining) linked this to me and it immediately clicked with me. It's got great energy throughout the entire album, very catchy tunes, classic rock solos, moments of tension, great buildups etc. I don't know what the lyrics are about or what's up with the band, but more of the same would be great.
Best songs: 拝啓、少年よ and 僕らは今日も車の中

2. The Killers - Imploding the Mirage - Rock

The Killers are still putting out music. WHAT? Yeah, 14 years after their debut album "Hot Fuss" with "Mr. Brightside" and 12 years after "Human" was played on every mainstream radio, The Killers are finally back to making good music. Their 2012, 2016 and 2017 albums were really really average, largely forgettable and not worth mentioning in my opinion. But that all changed in 2020. First the single "Caution" was released and had it not been for Lindsey Buckingham being featured, I probably would not have even checked it out. But boy am I glad I did. The lyrics tell a story of a girl from Las Vegas with a bad past but the whole song is an anthem full of hope and energy and it got me singing every time it was on.
The next single was a song I didn't really enjoy, "Fire and Bone", but the album came around soon enough so that the hype from Caution was still very much present.
The rest of the album is filled with high energy, feel-good rock, a sort of less raw version of their 2006 and 2008 albums, but the big big highlight comes in right at the end. The title track, the closer is an absolute certified banger. A top 3 all time Killers tune right here. Not really different in style from the rest of the album, but the little riffs, the background vocals, the build up before and at the end of the chorus, the way the bridge difuses the prebuilt tension... it's glorious.
Best songs: Caution and Imploding the Mirage

1. Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher - Indie rock

And the award for the best non-metal album of the year goes to the incredibly talented singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers with her sophomore album Punisher. I only recently found out about her, but her 2018 album made me consider her as one of the most promising indie musicians and boy did she deliver in 2020. Punisher takes more of a reserved approach on the instrumentals, with almost none of the obvious clean guitar picking that was prominent on the debut. They're instead replaced by either more subdued guitars or in most cases an underlying synth base. This isn't really either better or worse, it's just a different approach and in some cases it gives Phoebe's vocals a chance to really shine.
Honestly, Kyoto is probably her best ever song. The contract between her melancholic vocals and the grandiose orchestral instrumental is absolutely beautiful, but the fact that I never really skipped a song when listening through the album (except for the title track sometimes) really speaks to the quality.
She also did a cool little christmas EP/single called "If we make it through December", extremely chill (but predictably not cheerful).
Best songs: Kyoto and Graceland too

OTHER INDIVIDUALLY IMPRESSIVE STUFF in 2020

I generally wouldn't do this part, but this year was a bit special and a lot of artists came out with special one-off singles from lockdown and there were a bunch of interesting songs that didn't make it on any albums and a lot of good Christmas singles came out so I decided to dedicate this part to the artists that released some really creative stuff, but couldn't be included elsewhere.

6. Billie Eilish

I'm not gonna waste too much time here, as I'm sure everybody hears too much about Billie Eilish anyway. In 2020 she definitely spread out and explored her style a bit more. The James Bond theme song "No Time to Die" was no doubt stylistically heavily directed by Hans Zimmer and the rest of the soundtrack crew, while the "my future" single was a step back from some of her more complex stuff and into a relaxed tune. "Therefore I Am" was the last single and sounds a lot like the stuff on her last album - great. Hopefully the next album is coming soon.

5. Twenty One Pilots

Another very popular name on the list, Twenty One Pilots released 2 singles in 2020 both highly enjoyable. "Level Of Concern" was a song during lockdown about lockdown, a sort of funky pop-rock super groovy jam. Fun fact, the live version of this song is actually better than the studio version, as the keys are just more prominent and funkier.
The second one was unlike anything they'd ever released, the Christmas single "Christmas Saves the Year". Musically it's a pop-like tune with a very prominent leading bass line and simple song structure and lyrically it compliments "Level Of Concern" quite nicely with its message of "Things are bad right now, but we wanna make it back home and have a good Christmas to make up for the year we've had". Festive, cheerful, positive.

4. Sabadu

THESE GUYS ARE FROM POLAND AND THEY PLAY POLISH TANKMETAL. THEIR TANK IS MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR TANK, OK?
This ridiculous group of musicians made some of the finest arena metal, even if it started as a joke. "A Might Polish Tank" had Sabaton fans wonder why a band that is making fun of Sabaton sounds better than Sabaton and "A Very Polish Christmas" surely assured them a place at the next Sabaton Open Air. They sang about Polish Santa kicking Hitler's ass in 1942 while reminding us all to keep recycling, what's not to love?

3. Majestica - A Christmas Carol - Power Metal

This could probably be included on one of the lists above, but since I kinda wanted my Christmas specials grouped, I put it here instead. I was only recently made aware of this album and the fact that it has the most confusing song names in the history of all music kinda put me off it for a while, but honestly it's a great album. It's straight forward power metal but with Christmas riffs and jingles and all the other festive cheer you might expect. I think this is meant to be a concept album with a full story being told, but I have not had enough time with the album to decipher it yet. Even without that, it makes for a great listen and will return to my playlists next December to compliment Trans Siberian Orchestra and Theocracy.

2. Major Parkinson

I'll assume most people reading have never heard of Major Parkinson. The description on their bandcamp reads "Major Parkinson is a particle collider of huge, cinematic melodies, catchy pop hooks, impossible rhythms and psychedelic lyrics". Pretty clear, right?
Anyway, I consider them to be in my personal top 3 bands of all time. Sadly, we didn't get a new album this year but we still got 2 releases. The first was a cover of one of their best ever songs, "Solitary Home". The cover was performed by Los Alamitos Sound FX, the most successful show choir in the United States in cooperation with members of the band. I am not one to watch or listen to show choirs regularly, but this was the ideal cover, a new perspective on the song that kept the original weirdness and charm.
The other song, that actually came earlier in the year, was an original, potentially from their next album - "Jonah". The song feels like a step back from their 2017 album "Blackbox", a unique progression through an electronic intro into an almost Arcade Fire-esque atmosphere and on to a choir backed powerful anthemic ending, only to go circle back to a rock solo and end with once again the electronic feel from the start. It really showcases a lot of what Major Parkinson can do and why they're one of the most unique bands out there.

Just a quick note. Major Parksinon share a couple band members with Moron Police, another one of my favorite bands of all time. They're also the guys who recorded the best album of 2019 and released an extra single this year, which was alright.

1. Daði Freyr

2020 made sure we couldn't have a lot of the events we normally would. One of those is Eurovision. And that's a damn shame, cause if Eurovision did happen, Iceland would have 100% won it with their incredible Daði Freyr. Daði Freyr is an extremely talented musician who won the icelandic national selection with his 6 piece band performing the super funky, nerdy and catchy tune "Think About Things". The song talks about him being excited about talking to his daughter, as she was only months old when he wrote the song. This is the best song to come from Eurovision in years, maybe decades (in my horribly biased opinion).
But Daði Freyr isn't a one hit wonder. His youtube channel is filled with amazing covers and originals. You are more than welcome to check out all of them, I guarantee you won't regret it, but I wanna talk about his Christmas release - "Every Moment Is Christmas With You". This should become a christmas classic. It's not crazy in anything it does, but it's got the relaxing feeling that Christmas should bring, presenting the Christmas ideal in music form. A simple bass line, keys in the background playing simple riffs and the beautiful message of .. well.. "every moment is Christmas with you".

And that's it. The very best 2020 had to offer in the eyes of TheOakDwarf. If you liked the stuff I liked, you're welcome to check out my best of 2019 list, I still stand by most of my opinions from that list, and if not, feel free to tell me how wrong I am about music in the comments.
Happy New Year and stay powerful in 2021!

Housewife highlights/Daily shit talk - January 28th, 2021

SALT LAKE CITY

Mary Cosby Responds to 'Cruel' Allegations and Explains 'Going Missing' From Season 1 (ET exclusive)

"Mary Cosby entered The Real Housewives canon with a bang… well, a whiff. A whiff of "hospital smell." With an unexpected dig at co-star Jen Shah ("You smell like hospital"), the pastor with a passion for fashion cemented herself in the reality TV annals… but then, she slowly showed up less and less in each new episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City's freshman run, leaving viewers perplexed, wanting to know, where is Mary?!
"I don't know that people want more Mary," Mary herself quips to ET over video chat from her Utah home. "However, I want more Mary."
There is speculation out there that Mary was only a "friend of" during filming of RHOSLC, turned into a full-time Housewife when it came time to edit the episodes. While Mary won't divulge whether that was the case, she does offer a hint.
"How can I say this without being blunt?" she ponders. "It just wasn't purposely done, but they kind of tried to fade Mary out and didn't know Mary was going to be more wanted."
Mary missed out on a group snowmobiling trek, a few dinners and, most surprising, the all-cast trip to Las Vegas, but she says she's not one to get FOMO. Most of Mary's appearances have been solo, at home with her husband, Robert, Sr., their son, Robert, Jr., her housekeepecousin Charlinda and copious amounts of clothing in almost every room; she seems to only interact with the other women over FaceTime -- and that's seemingly by design, on Mary's part. According to her, any opportunity she had to avoid on-screen foe Jen, she took.
"I feel like if I go in to do an event, or go to do something fun or enjoyable, dinner and vacation, that’s super touchy," she offers. "I'm gonna go with someone I enjoy, someone that enjoys me. That sounds fun. But to go with this group? Every escape was, like, literally an escape for me. I was like, ahhh! Especially when I didn't have to go to Vegas. I was so happy, I was so relieved, 'cause I didn't wanna be in trouble. I want to abide by the rules, but … no, I didn't feel left out and I was at peace, very happy."
Mary did have to face the ladies in-person at the season 1 reunion, taped in New York City earlier this month. Ahead of the shoot, Mary appeared on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen and let it slip she hadn't been keeping up with watching the episodes. She says she wound up binging the season after that in order to get up to speed for reunion day.
"I think what surprised me was when I wasn't on [the episodes]," Mary admits when asked what she learned by finally watching the show. "The spark that comes with me. Oh, is that bad? … Like, my absence? It's clearly there."
Mary says the 12-hour filming day warrants a three-part reunion, as the women worked through all the issues from their debut outing. She says there will be resolution to the drama she sparked for the rest of the cast after claiming Lisa Barlow and Meredith Marks are "afraid of Jen" ("Does Mary Cosby lie? No, she does not lie," she purrs, alluding to where things go), as well as a number of unexpected apologies. Mary says she both gave and received apologies, which might mean a truce for her and Jen. When Bravo released the cast photo from the shoot, Mary and Jen were side by side and smiling -- but Mary's lips are (mostly) sealed.
"It's safe to say that says something, it says progress," she teases, but also notes she does not regret the "you smell like hospital" comment in the least. She says the remark, which Mary made before filming started, was never directed at Jen, like Jen assumed (Jen had been looking after her sick aunt, who underwent a double amputation on her legs around this time). In fact, Mary is adamant that she said "it smells like hospital," speaking about the general atmosphere of the restaurant she was in with Jen and Meredith at the time, not Jen nor her aunt. Mary also claims she had no idea about Jen's aunt's condition, nor their close bond, until after the fact.
"No regrets," she declares. "I know my motive, I know where I was coming from. It can [seem like] a dig, and I see that, how it can come across as rude. What I do regret, probably, is the way I got so frustrated. I feel like I was being blamed for her [aunt's] legs and it was for all year, before we even aired. So, as soon as it aired I was like, I am not responsible."
Mary's distaste for the scent of medical buildings left viewers a little confused, though, seeing as a few episodes into the season, fans spotted Mary’s housekeeper, Charlinda, clad in scrubs and delivering Mary a meal on a tray, each item individually wrapped in cellophane as if it came from a hospital cafeteria. Mary says that's always how she's taken her food, a germ-free style of serving she learned from her late grandmother, Rosemary.
"It's how we were raised," she says, noting that when she was in the hospital herself to have "all [her] odor glands removed," her meals actually came on a cart and under cloche domes, like room service at a hotel.
As for Charlinda, Mary's cousin whom she claimed to not actually know all that well, despite being her employee for two decades? She's no longer in the picture.
"I don't know, she got the green eye and she turned on me and she left," Mary reveals. "She lived with me rent free for 20 years and then to turn on me it's, like, I really don’t know who she is."
While she still doesn't know Charlinda, Mary says she's never been more sure of who she (meaning Mary) is as a person. She says it's a relief for her story to be out in the world.
"This is Mary, and you accept Mary and her life or you don't," she says. "I don't have to hide. I don't have to steal. I don't have to cheat. I don't have to be someone I'm not -- and not only do I live by those morals every day, but now I can live it to the world."
Mary's home life became a hot topic as soon as her Bravo bio hit the internet, Housewives fans honing in on one a quick line about how Mary is married to her one-time step-grandfather. It was her grandmother's wish that Mary take over her life -- the church she pastored, the businesses she ran, the homes she owned and, yes, even her marriage -- upon her death. As Mary said when the revelation made its way to TV, "Don't think it wasn't weird, 'cause it was! But I did it because I trusted my grandmother, and I'm so glad I did it."
"Life's just going to take you where you're supposed to go," Mary says. "It's up to you to follow it. [Joining the show] felt good. It felt right. I’m like, people think I'm weird [already]. They say it behind my back, they talk behind my back, let me just tell them in their face: This is Mary and, yes, I am married to my grandmother's ex-husband. How about that?"
Ahead of the season, Mary joined The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice for an Instagram Live, and proclaimed she had no skeletons in her closet. Then, allegations and accusations about Mary's life popped up online, with Reddit threads running rampant with rumors that Mary runs a cult, lives off of tithings given to the church by its parishioners, and only preached for the congregation when TV cameras showed up. She says it's all just nonsense.
"Clearly I’m not gonna get on national television, be a Housewife and be in a cult," Mary scoffs. "Like, come on. I believe in my church."
"They've been saying that since my grandmother started at the church," she says of the cult allegation. "There's no cult. ... My church members, they know those are false allegations. Those are ridiculous. It’s the people that are looking for fault."
Alleged audio of Mary demanding her congregation to give more offerings recently surfaced online, but Mary says she never takes funds from the church for personal use. The parish does believe in tithings, however, but that money stays at the church. It's not Mary's.
"That's so cruel," she says of the idea she would steal from the temple. "I feel like it's so judgmental, because I am African American and a woman and I do have an eye for finer things in life."
"I have intelligent church members and they know that was all to God," she adds. "I'm so not in it for the money. Oh my goodness, I believe in what I do, I believe in what I'm saying, and I love my church and I love what they are. … Money can't fulfill that, not for me."
Mary says she's happy to provide proof that she's preached at Faith Temple Church for more than 20 years, promising she would never have filmed one of her sermons for the show just as a performance. As for where her own money actually comes from, Mary says one, she's "blessed" by generational wealth passed down by her family and two, she and her husband own a number of businesses, including a successful printing company, which focuses on large-scale jobs, like billboards and mass production of shopping bags.
"But it's not like I just have money coming out of the walls," she cautions. "These [designer] things that I have are collector pieces."
Mary's "designer things" have also been much-talked about, as she shows up on the show in out-of-the-box fashions -- for the record, her favorite look is the one she wore to Park City Fashion Week, and she "hated" her makeup at the reunion, which is why she says she FaceTuned her posts from that day so much. On a recent episode, Mary revealed more than one room in her house doubles as a closet. Co-star Whitney Rose dubbed Mary a "high-end hoarder." While Mary threw out the idea of renting out a condo for a closet, she says she’s yet to pull the trigger, which would actually make for a fun season 2 story… that is, if she comes back for round two.
"I don't know if I'll do this again," she confesses. "That's a strong question, and I think I need a little harvesting. I think it's premature. I mean, would they want me back?"
Yes, Mary, they would."
ORANGE COUNTY

Jo De La Rosa reveals father has died from Covid at 63 and tells fans ‘I’ve never cried more tears’ (The Sun UK)

"RHOC alum Jo De La Rosa has revealed her father, Juan, died aged 63 from Covid.
The devastated reality star, 40, said she buried her 15-year feud with Juan shortly before he died of the virus last week.
Jo - who starred in the first four seasons of RHOC - shared a video montage of sweet photos with Juan on Instagram, which she titled, "The Story Of Us".
"It is with the heaviest of hearts I share I lost my dad to Covid last week," she wrote.
"This pandemic has been life-changing for many people and unfortunately, Covid won this time. My father, Juan Carlos Contreras, was only 63."
The Bravo star added: "I’ve never cried more tears in my life than these last few days but today, I want to celebrate him and remember all the happy times we shared so I made a video called 'The Story of Us' which captures our story when my mom met him all the way until they got divorced."
Jo described Juan as "the type of person that would walk into a room and instantly capture people’s attention".
"He was the most charming, outgoing, playful and most 'people person' of all people persons you would’ve ever met," she said.
"He was a high school teacher, the most gifted musician, and had the silliest personality which I now realize is where I get it from. To put it simply, he was JOY."
Jo explained that her mother met Juan "at 14 as her guitar teacher and they fell in love through music ".
"He could do no wrong in my eyes and although my heart is filled with so much love for him, it’s also shattered and feels so heavy for not being able to reconcile sooner as it’s been 15 years since we last spoke," she added.
Jo explained that she ended their estrangement with an email when she found out Juan was ill - but isn't sure if he ever got it.
"That’s as much as my heart can share about our situation but I sent him an email when I found out he was in the hospital. In it, I told him I loved him and I wanted him back in my life," she explained.
"I don’t know if he ever got it but I was reminded by one of my best friends I’ll see him in Heaven again one day and we’ll have the rest of eternity to be able to reconcile. Thank you Doni for that truth as your words have been a light in my darkness."
She concluded: "To my dad - I love you. I forgive you. You meant absolutely everything to me. I can’t wait to see you when God finally calls me and says it’s time.
"All I want is to be able to tell you see you again and tell you these words face to face."
Jo shared a series of heartwarming memories of her and Juan, including them playing guitar and piano together, as well as posing in front of a Christmas tree and out in the snow."

Kelly Dodd won’t return to ‘RHOC’ if Braunwyn Windham-Burke comes back (Page Six)

"Kelly Dodd may be done with “The Real Housewives of Orange County.”
The Positive Beverage founder, 45, said in an Instagram Live that she would not return to the Bravo series if castmate Braunwyn Windham-Burke comes back for Season 16.
“I know I cannot film with Braunwyn,” she started telling fans in the Instagram Live (captured by a fan account). “I know for a fact that I cannot film with her. There’s just no way and if she comes back then I’m out because I know for a fact that I cannot. She’s dangerous and calling people racists and homophobic.”
Dodd and Windham-Burke, 43, have been at odds since Dodd accused the mom of seven of using her sobriety for a storyline. She also questioned Windham-Burke’s decision to come out as a lesbian after over two decades of marriage to her husband, Sean Burke.
Off camera, Dodd accused Windham-Burke of once being placed under a 5150 psychiatric hold, a claim Windham-Burke denied.
Dodd added, “And … saying I’m a bad mom, I’m running around, like, traveling, well I was traveling, yes, but I was also selling two homes. And thank God I did because I’d be stuck with four mortgages, right?”
She then took a jab at Windham-Burke, adding, “I wasn’t going to party it up with the Salt Lake City chicks.”
Windham-Burke jetted off to Utah in September to hang out with Kary Brittingham from “RHOD” and Heather Gay from “RHOSLC.”
“If I’m coming back next year, I just can’t come back next year filming with somebody so reckless,” Dodd said. “I just can’t. If she’s on, I’m probably out. So, that’s probably the way it goes. And by the way, she says she couldn’t film with me, so there you go.”

Vicki Gunvalson Alleges “Snake” RHOC Producer Is Likely The Reason She Was Fired (Behind the Velvet Rope podcast/Reality Blurb)

Vicki Gunvalson claims that a Real Housewives of Orange County producer was out to get her, alleges the same producer was also the reason she and Braunwyn Windham-Burke got off to a rocky start.
Vicki has been very vocal since her RHOC departure and has openly admitted she was deeply hurt when she was fired after 14 seasons on the show. She’s now revealing some behind-the-scenes tea and discussing one particular producer that she still loathes to this day.
“There is a producer that’s currently on this cast, the last two years, that does not like me,” she claimed. “And I don’t like him. It’s public. I mean, I think he’s a snake in the grass and I think he’s always stirring up conflict that is not real conflict. So him and I had it out and I’m sure he probably said ‘she’s a problem, let’s get rid of her,’ you know? Because I saw right through his bullsh*t every time. Like why are you telling her to say that about me? Oh, he purposely just kind of tried to stir the pot and manipulate the situation.”
The Coto Insurance founder admits that she still “can’t stand” Braunwyn, but she explains what really went down the first night she met her at Tamra Judge‘s house.
“She came after me the first time at Tamra’s and I’ll never forgive her for it ever,” she told David Yontef on the Behind the Velvet Rope podcast. “[But] off-camera she told me, ‘our producer told me to go after you.’ Cool! I took him by his earlobe, put him up against the wall, and said, ‘what the heck are you doing? I’m a quote-unquote friend this year and you’re going to do this to me the first time I get together with everybody? F*ck you!’ I was livid,” the grandmother-of-three shared.
“He’s just not a good guy. When you know that about a producer, you just don’t give them your all,” she continued.
Vicki was then asked what she regrets the most about doing the show and what advice she would go back and give herself in season one.
“I did everything right except falling prey to divorce,” she shared. “I mean, I think that in hindsight, I know for a fact that if I wasn’t on a reality show, I wouldn’t have been divorced. And that cost Donn and I both a lot of money because we had to split assets and alimony and all that stuff, so I paid more to him than he did to me because I had the business. So that’s hurtful and that’s hard.”
She goes on to reveal that because of her popularity from the show, she thought she “could have it all,” and that frame of mind paired with the fact that she and Donn were already having trouble is what led to an affair with Brooks Ayers.
“[Briana Culberson] and I talked about it because, [full] disclosure, I had an affair with Brooks,” she revealed. “I was traveling a lot with work and I had been in Atlanta and he was Mr. Southern gentlemen. And when we started to chat at that time, Donn and I were disconnected, my love tank was empty, [and] we were not having sex or anything. I felt very alone and so when another man started giving me attention, Donn and I were so distant, I just know it was an influential time in my life where I thought I was popular, I thought I could have it all. And you know, I ruined the family,” she humbly admitted.
Vicki claims she was so busy with both work and the show that she simply did not put the time into her marriage that she needed to. As a result, she and Donn grew extremely distant, and she wasn’t the only one who began to stray.
“I knew I didn’t bookend my relationship, and through counseling, I figured this out. When you travel the way I do and did, I would wake up, go to my meetings, go do my thing during the day with work,” Vicki explained. “Then at night, we would party and I would go to bed [at] one or two o’clock alone, but I never called Donn, or I never reached out to him and said, ‘I’m waking up, I’m going to meetings, or I’m in bed and I’m safe.'”
“And so what happened was one day went into two days into three days and I get home and he was like a stranger to me,” she continued. “And it was, you know, I’ll take the blame for it. He started straying, I started straying, and everything became more important than him and that’s not a marriage. You can’t do that.”

Ryan And Briana Culberson Are Moving Out Of North Carolina As Vicki Gunvalson Is Also Selling Her Lake Home In NC (Reality Blurb)
Heather Dubrow Is So Much More Than the ‘Housewives,’ Daughter Max Shares (Showbiz CheatSheet exclusive)

"If Heather Dubrow earned a dollar every time she was asked about The Real Housewives of Orange County, she’d have enough cash to build 10 more extravagant houses.
While the RHOC reference tickles her now, Heather said she wasn’t always thrilled to be constantly asked about the series. “You know, at the beginning when I first left the show, it was annoying because I just wanted it to break free and do my own thing and take my brand back and, you know, kind of move on,” she admitted to Showbiz Cheat Sheet.
“And I just couldn’t because everywhere I went, that’s all they asked about,” she said. “Now I feel like four or five years after leaving the show, I’ve done so many other things now. [Husband] Terry and I have written three books together. My podcast has has over 101 million downloads. My YouTube channel, TV shows I’ve done and hosting and whatnot.”
“And with a new show coming out [The Seven Year Stitch], I feel like in my heart that people see me as Heather Dubrow now,” she reflected. “And not a member of RHOC. It’s just part of my history. So now what I get asked about it, I think it’s kind of amusing.”
Heather’s teenage daughter Max, who recently launched the podcast, I’ll Give it To You Straightish, said she’s never identified as a Housewives kid.
“I think that my mom specifically like she’s not just an ex-Housewife,” Max told Showbiz Cheat Sheet. “She does so many amazing things and will continue to and did before that.”
“So, you know, when they’re like on every article is like ‘Heather Dubrow, former Housewife,’ it’s like she’s more than that,” she continued. “And so that’s you know … let it go. But for me personally, it hasn’t really bothered me. I’m just Heather Dubrow’s daughter. Not really a former Housewives kid.”
Heather shared how she continues to supervise Max’s foray into the world of podcasting without being too heavy-handed with her guidance. “I came from really very nice parents, but my mom was controlling. And I’m controlling too but in a different kind of way. Like, I always felt like I needed her help,” Heather said.
“And if I didn’t get her approval on something … it’s just not the kind of relationship I wanted with my kids,” Heather admitted. “I always like to say, you know, my job is to develop [and] to raise these healthy, functioning, independent children.”
“And to me, any of the kids want advice and help. I don’t tell them how to do it,” she added. “I guide them so they can figure it out themselves.” For example, when Max started her own podcast, she quickly learned that it was a huge undertaking.
“People think these things that it’s easy and think, oh everyone should do that. It’s very difficult to do,” Heather shared. “But I love that she’s working it out and figuring it out on her own because that’s how not only is she going to learn that, but she’s going to succeed.”
NEW YORK

Former ‘RHONY’ star Barbara Kavovit enters NYC mayoral race (Page Six)

"Former “Real Housewives of New York” star Barbara Kavovit has officially announced she’s running for mayor of New York City — adding to an already crowded field of Democratic candidates.
The Bronx-born Kavovit made it official on her Instagram Wednesday, saying her beloved Big Apple “is in a state of crisis” under Mayor de Blasio’s watch.
“I may not be a politician, but I’m a Bronx-born New Yorker who isn’t fearful of the hard work and tough decisions that lay ahead,” she wrote. “It will take a builder to rebuild #NYC, and I’m the woman to do it.”
In September, Kavovit, the CEO of Evergreen Construction, floated her dreams of Gracie Mansion, telling Page Six she was ready to rebuild the city.
“Number one is rebuild a safer and more inclusive New York City,” she said at the time. “So I feel like the city is not a safe place. So if it’s not safe, people don’t want to come to New York City. People don’t want to stay in New York City.”
Kavovit, 55, said her company, which she launched at age 21, is one of the largest female-owned commercial construction firms in the city.
Last year, Evergreen took a sledgehammer to Harvey Weinstein’s old offices at 99 Hudson Street.
“As a Bronx girl who’s paved her way in the male-dominated world of construction, I know something about overcoming adversity, creating opportunity and building something out of nothing–both for myself and those around me,” she said on her website. “And that’s why I’m running for Mayor of New York City.”
Kavovit starred in Bravo’s hit “Housewives” series during Season 11 in 2019.
In June’s Democratic primary, she’ll square off against hopefuls including Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams, former presidential candidate and businessman Andrew Yang, New York City’s former sanitation commissioner Kathryn Garcia and former Citigroup executive Ray McGuire."

Bethenny Frankel and Paul Bernon spotted looking cozy in Boston (Page Six exclusive)

ATLANTA

We Have an Update on What Tanya Sam and Paul Judge Have Been up to Lately (Tanya Sam Instagram/Bravo)

NEW JERSEY

Teresa Giudice cuts price of NJ mansion to $2.25M (NY Post)
Video makeup tutorial with Jennifer Aydin (Bravo exclusive)
Jennifer Aydin season 11 confessional looks (realhousewivesfranchise Instagram)

is las vegas open on christmas day video

7-Day Forecast; Hourly Forecast ... Las Vegas stores that are still open Christmas Eve. By: ... But if you're still looking to cross items off your Christmas lift, there are a few stores in Las ... Reviews on Restaurants Open Christmas Day in Las Vegas, NV - The Legends Oyster Bar And Grill, shàng miàn, Kogi Korean BBQ & Seafood Hotpot, Metro Pizza, Echo & Rig, Lucille's Smokehouse Bar-B-Que, Daikon Vegan Sushi & More, The Cereal Killerz Kitchen, Honey Salt, My Mother's House Las Vegas is still going to be festive on Christmas day but expect a few venues to still be closed due to the pandemic. All nightclub venues are closed and so are buffets and a lot of Vegas shows. This is one day you have to make dinner reservations. This is the most popular time for Christmas shows in Las Vegas too, as visitors count down the days to the nation's most anticipated holiday. A Las Vegas Christmas Day however, is different entirely. The majority of the crowds are made up of foreign travelers and locals. The biggest question this time of year is wondering where you can get a last-minute gift or recipe ingredient during the holidays. This year, most stores are closed for Christmas Day but are open ... Christmas shows in Las Vegas. On Christmas Eve and the following day, many venues in Las Vegas arrange special concerts and events with the usual extravagant atmosphere. Even though Christmas is a family holiday, thousands of tourists celebrate it in Las Vegas. Many venues host Christmas shows like Cirque du Soleil at the Bellagio and Absinthe at the Caesars Palace. Ocha Thai has quietly served some of the best Thai food in town for decades on Las Vegas Boulevard. The bar is closed, but the main dining room will be open for Christmas. In our imaginations, Christmas day always runs smoothly. But in real life—and especially in 2020—things don’t always go to plan. We neglect to buy cough drops, milk curdles in our coffee and we forget to buy the fresh sage for the roasted sage turkey.That’s when the pajamas come off, the yoga pants go on and we run out to the store for cold medicine, fresh coffee and a handful of herbs. Book Christmas day dinner now in Las Vegas. Explore special menus, see photos and read reviews of some of the best restaurants in Las Vegas open Christmas Day. Las Vegas is open on Christmas Day especially with wonderful restaurants to create lasting holiday memories.

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Christmas in Las Vegas (2021) LasVegasHowTo.com

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