Practical University Hunting

All-in-one guide for using the internet smartly, to research universities and apply for scholarships

Original Post : https://kitdb.app/blog/posts/practical-university-hunting/
I am not an education consultant. However, I have been through the whole university and the scholarship application process as an international student - and got one full undergraduate scholarship. Here, I will share everything I know about researching and applying to universities, and make life easier for parents and fellow aspiring international students alike.

I hope everyone is safe and well during the pandemic. Students, do not panic. Parents, do not worry. I would like to reassure that your education and future opportunities are not going to go away because of the pandemic.
If this time is effectively used for researching and preparing for your future studies, you can end up with a quality university education 🎓 with minimum financial burden 💸. How to do that? Keep reading.

This is a very long article which covers the whole process, from high school exams to applying for a scholarship. It is divided into 4 parts, please read what is relevant to you.

❗ Also, in this article, I have shared all the legitimate resources you will need as an international student to apply for universities and get financial aid on your own. If you are really serious about getting into university and winning a scholarship (which I hope you are 🤔*, as you are reading this)*, please [click all the links in blue](#) 🔗, follow them and actually research them on your own.

Preparing for University

Note: There have been cancellations of examinations worldwide due to the pandemic 🦠 . So, the following might not be relevant for now. Nevertheless, I will just put it in.

If you are a student (wherever you are outside United States) and planning to apply for university, you are probably preparing for your high school examinations. If you are taking either IGCSE, GCSE, A Levels, SAT, IB then, all the best.

At this point, you still might not know what exams you need to take yet. If you find on the internet, there will be a lot of information on the pros and cons and you might find the information confusing.
Don't worry. The following is generally true.

• If you want to go for a US University, go for SAT. (You might want to take IGCSE, then the IB - International Baccalaureate to apply to competitive US Universities, or to apply for scholarships)
• If you want to go for a UK University, go for GCSE and A Levels. If you are a non-British student who cannot afford or do not go to an international school, you might have an option called International Advanced Levels (IAL) available for you. Usually, the British Council handles these examinations. Lookup your local British Council in your country and ask them. (Note : US universities also accepts this IAL)
• If you are not sure where to go, this article might help
• If you have a dream school but don't know what exam to take, go to that school's website, read the Admission Requirements and send the Admission Office an email if you need to clarify anything
• If you are not from an English speaking country, you might need to answer English exams like TOEFL/IELTS, depending on your school

Important 🙂, if you would like an international education, but do not have the financial means 💰 to prepare for the examinations that I talked about, please read on. At the end of the article, I discussed about some international schools🌟 which gives out full scholarships for students in all countries. From these schools, you can get such international high-school qualifications to apply to international universities.

Find all the examination resources (Past Papers, Marking Schemes, Examiner Reports) for those exams on websites like these for free. If you are a parent of a high-school student, let him or her know that these resources exist. For me, they were more than enough. If you are aiming for high scores in such examinations, know the rules well. Read the Marking Schemes and Examiner Reports, and mark your practice exam papers yourself. If you mark yourself, you will know what examiners are expecting. Scoring high on such examiniations is more about how much you know the rules of the examination well, and the ability to give the examiners the answer they want.
Studying for such examinations can be hard and sometimes frustrating. In such cases, you can rely on the power of the internet to get what you need. If you are preparing for IGCSE / GCSE and A Levels, try joining The Student Room. You can get academic help or advice for all UK-based examinations if you post on forums like that. Moreover, you can go to communities like Reddit and find related sub-communities such as IGCSE Reddit. There is also IB Reddit for International Baccalaureate students.
For exams such as SAT, you can use online resources such as Khan Academy or CrackSAT. They are again, completely free.
If you are being homeschooled and cannot afford study materials, do not worry at all. There are very good free-textbook 📚 projects like OpenStax. Although the contents may not be directly related to your examinations, you can use these to study for a majority of examinations.
(OpenStax provides high-quality textbooks for any high-school subject for free)
Meanwhile, have fun and have a good work-life balance. Studing for examinations does not have to be very tiring if you can make it fun. For instance, to save time creating flashcards, you can use online tools like Quizlet - there might even be ready made free flashcards for your examinations. (Please note that some people may prefer writing out physically to study. That is fine. Do whatever works for you).
(In apps like Quizlet, you might find ready-made flashcards for the examination you are taking)
One of the advice I can give to make studying more fun is to enjoy it. You will enjoy studying if you are aware of what you are doing. One way to achieve this is to make learning interactive. For example, if you are studying for maths and would like to make studying more interactive, you can try the Desmos Graphing Calculator.
(With the device you are using right now, you can use Desmos to graph out maths equations for free, if you don't have a graphic calculator)
Moreover, if you need help with solving maths equations, you can get immediate answers on tools like WolframAlpha (The free version shows you the answers, but you will have to pay if you want step-by-step solutions).
(Using WolframAlpha to help with matrix in maths)
If you do not understand a topic, YouTube 🎥 is a very good place to search. There are very good channels like patrickJMT for all high-school mathematics, and EconplusDal for Economics. If you need exam tips and tricks, they are also available on YouTube.
Although it might sound very easy, do not underestimate the power of searching on the internet. It actually gives practical results that you thought might not exist. Just typing "cambridge igcse english as a second language" in YouTube will give you this entire playlist. What you need to do is to actively go out there and search.
Once you have done the examinations and get your results, I will guide you on how to research universities properly and apply for scholarships.

Searching for University

If you go to an international high-school, chances are that you might have a University Guidance Counselor, who will take care of the university application process (such as consulting, recommending universities and writing the recommendation letters - universities require that). Even if it is the case, please do your own research by yourself. You are the one who is applying to university.
However, if you do not go to an international school, and do not have anyone to ask for help - again, do not worry 😉. There are organizations such as EducationUSA who offers such help to students who want to apply to US Universities, for free. They are available in more than 170 countries. Get started by typing "EducationUSA + [your country name]" on Google.
(Official oganizations such as EducationUSA provides students with information for education. It is very likely that they exist in your country.)
Once you

• have done your required examinations
• and know what university you want to apply for

then, finding specific information about universities is also not a hard thing to do. You just need to go to their websites. Directly email ✉️ the admission office if you need any help - they are friendly people, they will definitely reply to you if you wait a little.
However, the first question is how do I know where to apply? Which school suits me?
If you have your high-school grades, and SAT scores are ready, you can start looking for universities. However, please note that most of universities currently do not require SAT and ACT examinations due to the pandemic [Source: Washington Post]. Nevertheless, my favourite tool for this purpose is Niche. With Niche, you can enter your SAT Scores and your GPA, and get recommendations of schools based on the scored you have (If you are not a student from US, do not worry about not having a GPA. Just get good grades in whatever examination you are taking. The universities will look at the grades you have and they will decide whether or not to admit you).

Note : Niche is for US Colleges - if you are looking forward to applying to schools in UK and Australia, try the QS Matching Tool

(With tools like Niche, you can estimate your chances of getting into a particular university with data visualizations like this, for free)
Niche also provides data for specific universities, such as Acceptance Rate, Application Deadlines, Application Fees and so on. Once you have gathered enough data, you can add them to an Excel sheet or Google sheet and you can have a general idea of where you should apply.
(You can also use the College Acceptance Calculator by Prepscholar)

❗ Please note that although these tools calculate your chances, they are only estimated based on your academic scores only. Applying to college is more arts than science, and there are many other factors at play. Just use these to get a rough idea of whether you are suitable for a school or not.

Also, you might want to look up the ranking of the university you are applying to, if you want to know how reputable it is. The popular rankings are

• QS World University Rankings
• Times Higher Education World University Rankings
• Round University Ranking

❗ Again, these rankings vary from year to year and they are estimates for you to get an idea only. It does not necessarily mean that you have to get into the highest ranking university. Get into a university which is the right fit for you.
My Personal Opinion : In the real world, although a degree from a reputable high-ranking university can land you into a well-paying job, what people actually care is your skillset rather than the credential (a.k.a university degree). Therefore, once you get into a university, focus on building on your practical skillset if you want your degree to be useful for your job. On a positive side, learning is easier than ever in this age with so much knowledge freely available on the internet 💻 if you know where to look for - in fact, all university level calculus and what you will learn in an actual MBA is available for free. Learning marketing and copywriting is free. You can actually attend the same Computer Science classes from Harvard University that the actual Harvard students learn, for free, at your home.
If you are serious about research 🔬 and academia 📚, or want a vocational skill, like medicine 🩺 or engineering ⚙️, by all means go to university. I am just providing some food for thought that university is not the only way to succeed in life 😉.

Applying to University

Although it may differ case by case, application to college requires

• writing application essays
• getting recommendation letters
• filling your application through online portals (if you are applying to schools in UK, you need to apply through a website called UCAS, if you are heading for US, the portals are Common App and Coalition)
• submitting your high-school transcripts

If you would like a general idea of the whole college application journey, Khan Academy College Admissions is a very good guide, and completely free. It covers how to prepare, starting from your high school years, applying for college, writing application essays, and finding scholarships.
(Khan Academy College Admissions provides useful information for College Admission journey)
Another thing I find helpful is the Prepscholar Blog. They give useful tips on writing college application essays and what makes you stand out.
Moreover, go online onto specifc discussion forums like College Confidential. You can ask questions and get an idea of what college application look like from such forums. However, try to question things you read, as the information on such forums may not be always right. If you are serious about making your college application stand out, you should read Prepscholar's guide for applying to competitive colleges. I highly agree with most of their points. Focus is key here.
The other side of the story : When you apply to college and get rejected 😢, no hurt feelings. It does not mean that you are not smart enough - there are so many factors at play. If you are interested, you might want to wach how the college admission decisions are done in an actual US university - in this video 🎥 College Admissions: Inside the Decision Room from Bloomberg. If college is still your thing, give it another shot with proper preparation.

University Scholarships

Here is the section which everyone is waiting for : paying for college 🤑 !
One of the common misconception about getting scholarships (in another country) people believe is that they only go to the most deserving, smartest, brightst students. If you have such thoughts, Kill them 💀, immediately.
To get a scholarship as an international student, you

• do not need to have any connections with schools and universities
• do not need to be the smartest 🧠 or brightest, or have stunning extracurricular activities, win a Mathematical Olympiad or start a company at the age of 16 - reading too much on the internet can sometimes make you feel that. The trick is to just do well on your examinations, and apply to so many scholarships. You will end up with something if you are consistently looking for one.
• do not need to graduate from a highly expensive international school. In fact, there are highly expensive international schools giving out full scholarships - read about them in this section.
• you do not need to have an existing award already before you receive a scholarship. In fact, any student can create an impressively large list of awards

The things above are only what your mind is thinking. In reality, the way things work is different. Let me tell you a quote by the author "Cal Newport" from his book 📖 "How to Win at College Surprising Secrets for Success from the Countrys Top Students"

"The key is to stop thinking of scholarships and awards as gifts handed down from above to only the most deserving students. The reality is that many scholarships and awards are actually handed down from an overworked, uninterested administrator who was assigned the unfortunate task of choosing a winner from the depressingly small pool of students who actually bothered to apply correctly. Therefore, for a lot of small awards, if you take the time to apply, and demonstrate diligent effort in your application, your odds of winning are quite good. Take advantage of this situation !"

Note : In fact, how much scholarship you receive also depends on how much money your family is earning. If you are from a low-income family, you have a higher chance of getting a larger % of scholarship from the university, compared to someone from a high-income family, even if your academic abilities and application is at the same level
Finding a full-scholarship for an undergraduate degree is rare, but not impossible.
I will list out some US universities which gives out full scholarships for undergraduate degrees if you get accepted, and some Canadian universities below.

❗Again, use YouTube for help. Just type in the name of the university you want to apply and see if any student from there are making videos for international students - chances are likely. I have attached the video links to each school below just to demonstrate the fact. The colleges I know where you can get full scholarships are

Colby College [Full, US]

Colby College from United States has something called The Colby Commitment. On Colby College's website, they state that "We meet 100 percent of demonstrated financial need without student loans. Families earning less than $65,000 with assets typical of this range will have a parent or guardian contribution of $0." This is one American college you would want to consider if you are looking for a full-scholarship, as an international student.

New York University - Abu Dhabi [Full, UAE]

This is the campus of New York University, located in the United Arab Emirates (Middle East) - so not in the US.
You can read more on the school's website. New York University in Abu Dhabi is one of the most generous in the world when it comes to scholarships. The cost is not a problem if you manage to get into the university. It covers up to 100% of demonstrated needs of the student. You can also watch 🎥 Financial Aid at New York University - Abu Dhabi.

Macalester College [Full, US]

On Macalester College's website, they state that "We meet 100% of the full demonstrated need of every student we admit, and all first-year applicants are considered for merit-based scholarships."

Amherst College [Full, US]

Amherst is a high-ranking liberal arts college in the United States very generous with the financial aid. On the school's website, you can read that Amherst meets the full demonstrated need of every admitted student - and it includes international students. You can also see 🎥 this Interview with a 100% Scholar at Amherst, who applied from Mumbai, India.

University of Toronto [Full, Canada]

This is a full undergraduate degree scholarship, for international students given by University of Toronto in Canada. However, this is quite restricted - you have to be attending at an international school, and your school must choose you to be able to apply. It is called Lester B. Pearson International Scholarship Program.
It is also competitive - only 37 people get chosen every year. However, still worth the shot. Here is 🎥 an Interview with somebody from Bangladesh who won this.

University of British Columbia [Full, Canada]

At University of British Columbia in Canada, there are two fully-funded scholarships for international students available. You can find them on the school's website.

• Karen McKellin International Leader of Tomorrow Award : This award recognizes international undergraduate students who demonstrate superior academic achievement, leadership skills, involvement in student affairs and community service, and recognized achievement in other key areas. Here is 🎥 an Interview with somebody from Bangladesh who won this.
• Donald A. Wehrung International Student Award : This award recognizes outstanding international undergraduate students from impoverished or war-torn areas who have achieved academic excellence under difficult circumstances, and who would be unable to attend university without financial assistance.

Scholarship Databases

If you are not able to get the full-rides listed above, there are also numerous smaller scholarships which you can aim for. There exists numerous resources on US University scholarships, such as Khan Academy's Paying for college guide. However, these are for US students, and not really meant for international students.
For international students, try these databases - internationalstudent.com and IEFA. These are free, however, you need to register.
(On websites like internationalstudent.com, you can add in your nationality, field of study and filter scholarships or competitions specific to you.)
If you can pay a little bit, you can try the applications like Scholly. This is a scholarship-searching application which lists the scholarships that match you. As of 2020, it costs USD 45 per year.
Also make sure you check out Scholarships Reddit. Here, people discuss about the scholarship application process of all types.

❗ When applying for scholarships, remember to keep track of the deadlines. Use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of the deadlines.
Sharing is caring 🎗: If you know any other scholarship searching tools for international students, please let us know by submitting here (click submit a tool at the top) so that everyone can benefit.

High School Scholarships

Previously, I talked about some international schoolswhich gives out full scholarships for students in all countries. Here they are.

United World Colleges (UWC)

If you are a student who would like to attend an international high-school, have friends from all over the world and get accepted to top US Universities, but do not have the financial means to do so, you should definitely apply to United World Colleges (UWC). UWC is an organization of 18 international schools all over the world which offers the students from any country to study the International Baccalaureate Program, on full-scholarship if you cannot afford. UWC's main mission is making education a force to unite people, nations and cultures for peace and a sustainable future.

To apply to UWC, you need to apply there through your country's National Committee. You can find your country's National Committee from this list, contact them and start applying.

One unique scholarship only available to the UWC students is the Davis United World College Scholars Program. This offers financial aid up to $10,000 or $25,000 per year students who graduated from United World College and got accepted many US Universities (see full list of universties here). You can also see the list of previous scholars who have won it here.

Eastern Mediterranean International School

This one is an alternative to UWC. The Eastern Mediterranean International School (EMIS) is an international boarding high-school which accepts students from all over the world to study the International Baccalaureate Program. The fee is 32,000 USD per year. However, you can get up to 78% scholarship. [Source : school website]
I hope the information I have written is more than enough for any international high-school student to prepare for their university education, regardless of their financial background. All the best in your journey, and keep safe.
Congrats that you have made it this far, if you find this helpful to you, please share it so that others can benefit too.

Practical University Hunting

All-in-one guide for using the internet smartly, to research universities and apply for scholarships

Original Post : https://kitdb.app/blog/posts/practical-university-hunting/
I am not an education consultant. However, I have been through the whole university and the scholarship application process as an international student - and got one full undergraduate scholarship. Here, I will share everything I know about researching and applying to universities, and make life easier for parents and fellow aspiring international students alike.

I hope everyone is safe and well during the pandemic. Students, do not panic. Parents, do not worry. I would like to reassure that your education and future opportunities are not going to go away because of the pandemic.
If this time is effectively used for researching and preparing for your future studies, you can end up with a quality university education 🎓 with minimum financial burden 💸. How to do that? Keep reading.

This is a very long article which covers the whole process, from high school exams to applying for a scholarship. It is divided into 4 parts, please read what is relevant to you.

❗ Also, in this article, I have shared all the legitimate resources you will need as an international student to apply for universities and get financial aid on your own. If you are really serious about getting into university and winning a scholarship (which I hope you are 🤔*, as you are reading this)*, please [click all the links in blue](#) 🔗, follow them and actually research them on your own.

Preparing for University

Note: There have been cancellations of examinations worldwide due to the pandemic 🦠 . So, the following might not be relevant for now. Nevertheless, I will just put it in.

If you are a student (wherever you are outside United States) and planning to apply for university, you are probably preparing for your high school examinations. If you are taking either IGCSE, GCSE, A Levels, SAT, IB then, all the best.

At this point, you still might not know what exams you need to take yet. If you find on the internet, there will be a lot of information on the pros and cons and you might find the information confusing.
Don't worry. The following is generally true.

• If you want to go for a US University, go for SAT. (You might want to take IGCSE, then the IB - International Baccalaureate to apply to competitive US Universities, or to apply for scholarships)
• If you want to go for a UK University, go for GCSE and A Levels. If you are a non-British student who cannot afford or do not go to an international school, you might have an option called International Advanced Levels (IAL) available for you. Usually, the British Council handles these examinations. Lookup your local British Council in your country and ask them. (Note : US universities also accepts this IAL)
• If you are not sure where to go, this article might help
• If you have a dream school but don't know what exam to take, go to that school's website, read the Admission Requirements and send the Admission Office an email if you need to clarify anything
• If you are not from an English speaking country, you might need to answer English exams like TOEFL/IELTS, depending on your school

Important 🙂, if you would like an international education, but do not have the financial means 💰 to prepare for the examinations that I talked about, please read on. At the end of the article, I discussed about some international schools🌟 which gives out full scholarships for students in all countries. From these schools, you can get such international high-school qualifications to apply to international universities.

Find all the examination resources (Past Papers, Marking Schemes, Examiner Reports) for those exams on websites like these for free. If you are a parent of a high-school student, let him or her know that these resources exist. For me, they were more than enough. If you are aiming for high scores in such examinations, know the rules well. Read the Marking Schemes and Examiner Reports, and mark your practice exam papers yourself. If you mark yourself, you will know what examiners are expecting. Scoring high on such examiniations is more about how much you know the rules of the examination well, and the ability to give the examiners the answer they want.
Studying for such examinations can be hard and sometimes frustrating. In such cases, you can rely on the power of the internet to get what you need. If you are preparing for IGCSE / GCSE and A Levels, try joining The Student Room. You can get academic help or advice for all UK-based examinations if you post on forums like that. Moreover, you can go to communities like Reddit and find related sub-communities such as IGCSE Reddit. There is also IB Reddit for International Baccalaureate students.
For exams such as SAT, you can use online resources such as Khan Academy or CrackSAT. They are again, completely free.
If you are being homeschooled and cannot afford study materials, do not worry at all. There are very good free-textbook 📚 projects like OpenStax. Although the contents may not be directly related to your examinations, you can use these to study for a majority of examinations.
(OpenStax provides high-quality textbooks for any high-school subject for free)
Meanwhile, have fun and have a good work-life balance. Studing for examinations does not have to be very tiring if you can make it fun. For instance, to save time creating flashcards, you can use online tools like Quizlet - there might even be ready made free flashcards for your examinations. (Please note that some people may prefer writing out physically to study. That is fine. Do whatever works for you).
(In apps like Quizlet, you might find ready-made flashcards for the examination you are taking)
One of the advice I can give to make studying more fun is to enjoy it. You will enjoy studying if you are aware of what you are doing. One way to achieve this is to make learning interactive. For example, if you are studying for maths and would like to make studying more interactive, you can try the Desmos Graphing Calculator.
(With the device you are using right now, you can use Desmos to graph out maths equations for free, if you don't have a graphic calculator)
Moreover, if you need help with solving maths equations, you can get immediate answers on tools like WolframAlpha (The free version shows you the answers, but you will have to pay if you want step-by-step solutions).
(Using WolframAlpha to help with matrix in maths)
If you do not understand a topic, YouTube 🎥 is a very good place to search. There are very good channels like patrickJMT for all high-school mathematics, and EconplusDal for Economics. If you need exam tips and tricks, they are also available on YouTube.
Although it might sound very easy, do not underestimate the power of searching on the internet. It actually gives practical results that you thought might not exist. Just typing "cambridge igcse english as a second language" in YouTube will give you this entire playlist. What you need to do is to actively go out there and search.
Once you have done the examinations and get your results, I will guide you on how to research universities properly and apply for scholarships.

Searching for University

If you go to an international high-school, chances are that you might have a University Guidance Counselor, who will take care of the university application process (such as consulting, recommending universities and writing the recommendation letters - universities require that). Even if it is the case, please do your own research by yourself. You are the one who is applying to university.
However, if you do not go to an international school, and do not have anyone to ask for help - again, do not worry 😉. There are organizations such as EducationUSA who offers such help to students who want to apply to US Universities, for free. They are available in more than 170 countries. Get started by typing "EducationUSA + [your country name]" on Google.
(Official oganizations such as EducationUSA provides students with information for education. It is very likely that they exist in your country.)
Once you

• have done your required examinations
• and know what university you want to apply for

then, finding specific information about universities is also not a hard thing to do. You just need to go to their websites. Directly email ✉️ the admission office if you need any help - they are friendly people, they will definitely reply to you if you wait a little.
However, the first question is how do I know where to apply? Which school suits me?
If you have your high-school grades, and SAT scores are ready, you can start looking for universities. However, please note that most of universities currently do not require SAT and ACT examinations due to the pandemic [Source: Washington Post]. Nevertheless, my favourite tool for this purpose is Niche. With Niche, you can enter your SAT Scores and your GPA, and get recommendations of schools based on the scored you have (If you are not a student from US, do not worry about not having a GPA. Just get good grades in whatever examination you are taking. The universities will look at the grades you have and they will decide whether or not to admit you).

Note : Niche is for US Colleges - if you are looking forward to applying to schools in UK and Australia, try the QS Matching Tool

(With tools like Niche, you can estimate your chances of getting into a particular university with data visualizations like this, for free)
Niche also provides data for specific universities, such as Acceptance Rate, Application Deadlines, Application Fees and so on. Once you have gathered enough data, you can add them to an Excel sheet or Google sheet and you can have a general idea of where you should apply.
(You can also use the College Acceptance Calculator by Prepscholar)

❗ Please note that although these tools calculate your chances, they are only estimated based on your academic scores only. Applying to college is more arts than science, and there are many other factors at play. Just use these to get a rough idea of whether you are suitable for a school or not.

Also, you might want to look up the ranking of the university you are applying to, if you want to know how reputable it is. The popular rankings are

• QS World University Rankings
• Times Higher Education World University Rankings
• Round University Ranking

❗ Again, these rankings vary from year to year and they are estimates for you to get an idea only. It does not necessarily mean that you have to get into the highest ranking university. Get into a university which is the right fit for you.
My Personal Opinion : In the real world, although a degree from a reputable high-ranking university can land you into a well-paying job, what people actually care is your skillset rather than the credential (a.k.a university degree). Therefore, once you get into a university, focus on building on your practical skillset if you want your degree to be useful for your job. On a positive side, learning is easier than ever in this age with so much knowledge freely available on the internet 💻 if you know where to look for - in fact, all university level calculus and what you will learn in an actual MBA is available for free. Learning marketing and copywriting is free. You can actually attend the same Computer Science classes from Harvard University that the actual Harvard students learn, for free, at your home.
If you are serious about research 🔬 and academia 📚, or want a vocational skill, like medicine 🩺 or engineering ⚙️, by all means go to university. I am just providing some food for thought that university is not the only way to succeed in life 😉.

Applying to University

Although it may differ case by case, application to college requires

• writing application essays
• getting recommendation letters
• filling your application through online portals (if you are applying to schools in UK, you need to apply through a website called UCAS, if you are heading for US, the portals are Common App and Coalition)
• submitting your high-school transcripts

If you would like a general idea of the whole college application journey, Khan Academy College Admissions is a very good guide, and completely free. It covers how to prepare, starting from your high school years, applying for college, writing application essays, and finding scholarships.
(Khan Academy College Admissions provides useful information for College Admission journey)
Another thing I find helpful is the Prepscholar Blog. They give useful tips on writing college application essays and what makes you stand out.
Moreover, go online onto specifc discussion forums like College Confidential. You can ask questions and get an idea of what college application look like from such forums. However, try to question things you read, as the information on such forums may not be always right. If you are serious about making your college application stand out, you should read Prepscholar's guide for applying to competitive colleges. I highly agree with most of their points. Focus is key here.
The other side of the story : When you apply to college and get rejected 😢, no hurt feelings. It does not mean that you are not smart enough - there are so many factors at play. If you are interested, you might want to wach how the college admission decisions are done in an actual US university - in this video 🎥 College Admissions: Inside the Decision Room from Bloomberg. If college is still your thing, give it another shot with proper preparation.

University Scholarships

Here is the section which everyone is waiting for : paying for college 🤑 !
One of the common misconception about getting scholarships (in another country) people believe is that they only go to the most deserving, smartest, brightst students. If you have such thoughts, Kill them 💀, immediately.
To get a scholarship as an international student, you

• do not need to have any connections with schools and universities
• do not need to be the smartest 🧠 or brightest, or have stunning extracurricular activities, win a Mathematical Olympiad or start a company at the age of 16 - reading too much on the internet can sometimes make you feel that. The trick is to just do well on your examinations, and apply to so many scholarships. You will end up with something if you are consistently looking for one.
• do not need to graduate from a highly expensive international school. In fact, there are highly expensive international schools giving out full scholarships - read about them in this section.
• you do not need to have an existing award already before you receive a scholarship. In fact, any student can create an impressively large list of awards

The things above are only what your mind is thinking. In reality, the way things work is different. Let me tell you a quote by the author "Cal Newport" from his book 📖 "How to Win at College Surprising Secrets for Success from the Countrys Top Students"

"The key is to stop thinking of scholarships and awards as gifts handed down from above to only the most deserving students. The reality is that many scholarships and awards are actually handed down from an overworked, uninterested administrator who was assigned the unfortunate task of choosing a winner from the depressingly small pool of students who actually bothered to apply correctly. Therefore, for a lot of small awards, if you take the time to apply, and demonstrate diligent effort in your application, your odds of winning are quite good. Take advantage of this situation !"

Note : In fact, how much scholarship you receive also depends on how much money your family is earning. If you are from a low-income family, you have a higher chance of getting a larger % of scholarship from the university, compared to someone from a high-income family, even if your academic abilities and application is at the same level
Finding a full-scholarship for an undergraduate degree is rare, but not impossible.
I will list out some US universities which gives out full scholarships for undergraduate degrees if you get accepted, and some Canadian universities below.

❗Again, use YouTube for help. Just type in the name of the university you want to apply and see if any student from there are making videos for international students - chances are likely. I have attached the video links to each school below just to demonstrate the fact. The colleges I know where you can get full scholarships are

Colby College [Full, US]

Colby College from United States has something called The Colby Commitment. On Colby College's website, they state that "We meet 100 percent of demonstrated financial need without student loans. Families earning less than $65,000 with assets typical of this range will have a parent or guardian contribution of $0." This is one American college you would want to consider if you are looking for a full-scholarship, as an international student.

New York University - Abu Dhabi [Full, UAE]

This is the campus of New York University, located in the United Arab Emirates (Middle East) - so not in the US.
You can read more on the school's website. New York University in Abu Dhabi is one of the most generous in the world when it comes to scholarships. The cost is not a problem if you manage to get into the university. It covers up to 100% of demonstrated needs of the student. You can also watch 🎥 Financial Aid at New York University - Abu Dhabi.

Macalester College [Full, US]

On Macalester College's website, they state that "We meet 100% of the full demonstrated need of every student we admit, and all first-year applicants are considered for merit-based scholarships."

Amherst College [Full, US]

Amherst is a high-ranking liberal arts college in the United States very generous with the financial aid. On the school's website, you can read that Amherst meets the full demonstrated need of every admitted student - and it includes international students. You can also see 🎥 this Interview with a 100% Scholar at Amherst, who applied from Mumbai, India.

University of Toronto [Full, Canada]

This is a full undergraduate degree scholarship, for international students given by University of Toronto in Canada. However, this is quite restricted - you have to be attending at an international school, and your school must choose you to be able to apply. It is called Lester B. Pearson International Scholarship Program.
It is also competitive - only 37 people get chosen every year. However, still worth the shot. Here is 🎥 an Interview with somebody from Bangladesh who won this.

University of British Columbia [Full, Canada]

At University of British Columbia in Canada, there are two fully-funded scholarships for international students available. You can find them on the school's website.

• Karen McKellin International Leader of Tomorrow Award : This award recognizes international undergraduate students who demonstrate superior academic achievement, leadership skills, involvement in student affairs and community service, and recognized achievement in other key areas. Here is 🎥 an Interview with somebody from Bangladesh who won this.
• Donald A. Wehrung International Student Award : This award recognizes outstanding international undergraduate students from impoverished or war-torn areas who have achieved academic excellence under difficult circumstances, and who would be unable to attend university without financial assistance.

Scholarship Databases

If you are not able to get the full-rides listed above, there are also numerous smaller scholarships which you can aim for. There exists numerous resources on US University scholarships, such as Khan Academy's Paying for college guide. However, these are for US students, and not really meant for international students.
For international students, try these databases - internationalstudent.com and IEFA. These are free, however, you need to register.
(On websites like internationalstudent.com, you can add in your nationality, field of study and filter scholarships or competitions specific to you.)
If you can pay a little bit, you can try the applications like Scholly. This is a scholarship-searching application which lists the scholarships that match you. As of 2020, it costs USD 45 per year.
Also make sure you check out Scholarships Reddit. Here, people discuss about the scholarship application process of all types.

❗ When applying for scholarships, remember to keep track of the deadlines. Use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of the deadlines.
Sharing is caring 🎗: If you know any other scholarship searching tools for international students, please let us know by submitting here (click submit a tool at the top) so that everyone can benefit.

High School Scholarships

Previously, I talked about some international schoolswhich gives out full scholarships for students in all countries. Here they are.

United World Colleges (UWC)

If you are a student who would like to attend an international high-school, have friends from all over the world and get accepted to top US Universities, but do not have the financial means to do so, you should definitely apply to United World Colleges (UWC). UWC is an organization of 18 international schools all over the world which offers the students from any country to study the International Baccalaureate Program, on full-scholarship if you cannot afford. UWC's main mission is making education a force to unite people, nations and cultures for peace and a sustainable future.

To apply to UWC, you need to apply there through your country's National Committee. You can find your country's National Committee from this list, contact them and start applying.

One unique scholarship only available to the UWC students is the Davis United World College Scholars Program. This offers financial aid up to $10,000 or $25,000 per year students who graduated from United World College and got accepted many US Universities (see full list of universties here). You can also see the list of previous scholars who have won it here.

Eastern Mediterranean International School

This one is an alternative to UWC. The Eastern Mediterranean International School (EMIS) is an international boarding high-school which accepts students from all over the world to study the International Baccalaureate Program. The fee is 32,000 USD per year. However, you can get up to 78% scholarship. [Source : school website]
I hope the information I have written is more than enough for any international high-school student to prepare for their university education, regardless of their financial background. All the best in your journey, and keep safe.
Congrats that you have made it this far, if you find this helpful to you, please share it so that others can benefit too.

Prologue: Hello reddit! I’ve got issues.
I have never done this before, nor do I have any idea what might come of it, but I can tell you that this is probably just as much (if not moreso) an introspective essay as it will be lonely heart ad. I’m somewhat at the point in my life where I need to scream out into the void, and I hope that my honesty will net me just enough cosmic karma to get me out of this hole which I’ve been so unceremoniously dumped into. So, strap in; you're in for some u/rubyoobieoobie length shit.
I’ll leave you with a TLDR for now (because I’m not so callous as to make you scroll to the bottom for it): I have been to 49 states, flew to France for a date, solved a decade-old problem in microbial biochemistry and astrobiology, and am the dictator of my own country. I also have insurmountable trauma from my past (and only) relationship, but I still have deluded myself into thinking there is a hope, a person, a way in which I might someday move on and be happy again.
For those who want to know now, I am a 24-year-old non-binary, assigned-male-at-birth individual in search of someone whom has the patience necessary to deal with the above. Also, potential trigger warning for sexual trauma in Chapter 2.
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Chapter 1: Who I currently am.
I’m quite an abnormal fellow. Growing up as the autistic homeschooler of some shut-ins will do that to you, but there was always something about me that was especially aberrant. Skipping rapidly over two decades, a few highlights include attending an Online High School run by an Ivy-League university, becoming a high-school dropout, then starting college at 14 and graduating at 19. However, all magic requires a tradeoff, so I report not having a friend until I was 15 and not having more than two simultaneously until literally 2018. In many ways, I almost wish I hadn’t been homeschooled and was held back academically. I’m certain that, were my upbringing different, I would have been a nerd or geek. I could have learned to play D&D or magic the gathering, I could have liked Naruto, I could have become a gamer or learned to code. I am by no means cool or normal, but I have always lacked any sort of peers or social niche. I do not like sports, but, with equal fervor, I do not like fantasy novels. Both cause a lack of associations. I’m not necessarily lonely for friends – I do have them, and quite a blissful plenty, now – but this does show that, for reasons mostly beyond my control, I have always been somewhat of a loner.
My life, as it currently is, started when I fled a certain situation (pin in that). I moved from the west coast to New York City for a biotech job at a coveted research institution in 2017. I was so overwhelmingly hopeful because, in addition to fleeing trauma and making a good career move, I was moving out from my parents and ready to start my life anew in what had been billed to me for years as Millennial heaven. Brooklyn! Williamsburg! Dumbo! Midtown! Astoria! Tribeca! New York City had been built up in my mind as the place to make it as a young, urban-minded professional. Now, I must make a disclaimer: I was not a country boy heading into this. To that point, I had lived in 8 different cities in 4 different states, most of them major places, so I was quite familiar with how cities should be like. Apparently, New York, however, is not.
I hated that place. Trash, everywhere. Stations, crumbling. Inexcusable income disparity, half-assed parks, wretchedroads, and absolutely no scenic beauty whatsoever. I devised a 45-minute lecture on why The City (as it’s called) sucked so much. Suffice it to say that Chicago is the clearly superior American megacity, followed by Toronto, Denver, Seattle, and Austin. My whole life, growing up on the west coast (where cities ascribed to the novel idea of attempting to benefittheir citizens), I had heard of people who claimed that “all governments are bad, bureaucratic, and inefficient.” I had always dismissed them as crackpot old kooks, but, having experienced New York City for what it was, I all of a sudden can understand how someone who had lived their whole life in such places could come to think that way.
But the thing that made it most unlivable were the people. Especially at my job, but also pretty much throughout the whole region (Providence to Wilmington, in my estimation), the people were overly obsessed with “social coding”. Though an irritatingly imprecise phenomenon for me to describe, it is basically that people have a much more stringent set of acceptable social norms and shun you more harshly for being individualistic. The west coast is significantly better at encouraging you to “let your freak flag fly” (otherwise known as being genuine and honest with yourself).
But the situation was significantly worse for me, specifically. You see, for lack of a better term, I am a psychopath. I don’t mean it in a negative context, per se, and, while I do quite frequently play the role of a narcissist for sake of metahumor, I don’t actually mean people ill will, nor do I callously disregard the well-being of others. It’s just that, due to the quirk of my aberrant neurochemistry and antisocial upbringing, I have always been generally inept at empathy. I am very social, outgoing, kind-hearted, and incredibly humorous – don’t get me wrong – but I can just as much be oblivious to social cues or the tacit desires of others. This peculiar mix leads my personality to be best described as the bastard child of a foursome between Johnny Depp’s Willy Wonka, Psych’s Shawn Spencer, Scrubs’ JD, and Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon. I truly mean well and am pure of heart; to that end, I’ve spent much of my life acquiring coping mechanisms to be a better, kinder, more sympathetic person and friend. But, for one reason or another, I was ill-equipped to deal with that most fetid breed person known to man: the “Lawn Guylander”.
This all culminated in a moment of crisis, but which I have come to look back on as the “Poughkeepsie Epiphany” (because, ever so creatively, I was driving thence at the time I had it): for almost a year, I had been putting an exorbitant amount of effort into playing the part of this overly social person, but was failing catastrophically. No matter how hard I tried, I could not meet people or make friends, much less find a partner. My coworkers loathed me, but in a way which they all looked down on me as if I was a defective human whom they didn’t care to humor one bit (one of the most vindicating moments was when a postdoc joined the lab from San Diego and he was similarly abhorred at the social climate). One day, I had a realization that there wasn’t a single person in the world who knew when I woke up, nor a single person that would care if I didn’t. That was a painful day. So, my Poughkeepsie Epiphany was that I could continue struggling to play the social game and end up cripplingly lonely, or I could be exactly as lonely as I would be otherwise, but be genuine to myself – no matter how anomalous that might be – and actually be happy with who I was for so doing.
This is when I started to become crazy, and quite proudly so. If there was an idea that was absurd in scope but was a completionist goal, I did it. I started road-tripping with an epic fervor (I knocked off 8 remaining states from my list, mostly New England, to get me to 49 [pin in that]). Road-tripping and adventuring is now a major aspect of my personality, and I have since accrued over 11,000 saved places on google maps (my poor, poor phone starts to melt whenever I open the app for navigation). Over the remaining months I had in New York, I rode every line of the New York City Subway end to end. I taught myself military time, metric, the NATO phonetic alphabet, and the nations of the world. Whenever I would go to bars, instead of socializing ineptly, I would open my backpack and yank out a massive tome such as (initially) a book on the AOL-Time Warner Merger (“something which one cannot read whilst sober”) or (later) Penn State, an Illustrated History (did you know we had a branch campus in China?). Sometimes, people would look over at me as the shockwave caused by the massive thwack of the volume hitting the bartop rolled by, and I would proudly adopt the facial expression of “Yes, I am that weird, and I don’t give a damn.” To be sure, I was still cripplingly lonely, but I was, for the first time in my life, happy.
I also began devising an escape plan. I decided to rapidly accelerate my life plans and apply for graduate school years ahead of what I had intended. Come January, I got interviews at three Ivys: Penn State, Duke, and Columbia. It was no contest. Duke sux balz and felt like an incompetent department living in the shadow of their medical center while also having the misplaced haughtiness to think they deserved equal recognition (also, I didn’t want to go to a place where the yearly tuition was more money than I had ever earned in my entire life to that point). Unlike Duke, Columbia actually had some quality research going on, but there was only one professor I was interested in and the department felt like it was out more for its own reputation than to actually support its graduate students. Penn State, however, stole my heart. Though painfully rural, the town felt like a very tiny big city. The university was friendly and earnest, the students were fun-loving but not reckless, and it’s one of only two universities in the country to offer a Dual-Title Ph.D. in [Home Field] and Astrobiology, a subject which I had always been enthralled by. As a concrete comparison, Columbia had just acquired three Cryo-Electron microscopes and was showing them off to us, but they were shared with thirteen other research institutions in the New York Metropolitan Area. Penn State, on the other hand, had one Krios, all to itself, which had been installed four years earlier. I have since confirmed that Penn State clearly puts its money where its mouth was and does its damnedest to support its scientists in producing world-class research.
So, slightly over a year after moving to New York, I was ready to start my life over again – but, this time, I had the mindset to do it correctly. At risk of turning this too much into an autobiography, I’ll cut short the narrative. In the two years since the Poughkeepsie Epiphany, though, I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon. Partly out of my passion for storytelling and humor, and partly as a way to stake out my own identity in this world, I’ve latched on to certain oddball stories that most exemplify this newfound sense of self which I’ve acquired. Since they are a significant part of my personality and do an excellent job of portraying my uniquely blusterous metahumor, I'll share a few of the most notable:

1. I’ve been to 49 states:

When people ask where I grew up, I respond that I’ve lived in 10 different cities in six different states, and have been to 49 (some people also ask if my father was in the military [no], or, once, witness protection [I am not at liberty to disclose whether this is true]). The one remaining state is Oklahoma. I am really debating just buying plane tickets to Oklahoma City for a weekend just so that I can say I’ve been to all 50. To justify my trip, I could go on a tour of why white people are so horrible by visiting the Oklahoma Museum of the Native American, the Oklahoma Museum of the African American, and the Oklahoma Museum of the Gay Cowboy (all of which, to my knowledge, are real places). Woohoo! A trifecta of oppression! However, if I were to actually visit Oklahoma and do this, I would then lose this marvelous and witty conversation topic about which last state I have yet to visit and what I would do while there, so it’s a serious cost-benefit analysis that I must weigh.

1. I am the Dictator of my own country:

This is probably much less interesting than you’d think. There’s a rather... unique hobby out there of people who (for the most part) tongue-in-cheekily secede from their parent countries to form ultra-small monarchies or banana republics. In my case, I thought that the most reasonable and considered response to the Trump Presidency was to give up on the entire country and secede to form my own. I’m going to build a wall and make America pay for it! This is also actually more legitimate than you’d think, too, as I was invited to and attended the United Micronations, the second-largest meeting of nations in the world (the “largest” organization is in New York, I think. I really don’t pay too much attention to it). As a result, I ended up forming a federation, making several alliances, and maintain regular contact with several other micronationalists. On the domestic front, I made both my roommates sign a 37-page, 42-clause, 17k-word Cohabitation Agreement (á la Sheldon), which, among other things, has reservations for Spots, a flag, a legal system, time travel, and gives me power of attorney over them (you’d be surprised; they both signed it voluntarily, without complaint, and after having read it in its entirety). One might add that they do not pay rent; I levy taxes. Finally, I attempted an infiltration of the local Civil War Reenactors (they have a cannon!) to help me in my ongoing war against the local recycling agency for gross ineptitude, but, for some incomprehensible reason, a bunch of old, white, rurally-inclined men didn't take so kindly to my opinions on conservatism and modern politics. I am convinced that this is merely a marketing issue, and we are workshopping new slogans for our planned invasion of the adjacent curb and sidewalk.

1. I flew to France for a date:

The story I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for. I met an undergraduate here and went on two dates with her, but then she did a semester abroad in France. It was going somewhat well; we were texting every day, and this was the first meaningful person I had actually gone on a date with since... things (pin in that). I quickly ran the numbers, looked at my schedule, and then came up with a hair-brained scheme. You see, I grew up in Florida, so a significant part of my childhood was consumed by theme parks. Sparring you a lot of details, two of the parks (Disney’s Hollywood Studios and Universal Studios) originally opened under the auspices of special-features theme parks, a de-immersive experience where they show you how the movies are made. In the past decade, however, both parks have been moving towards more immersive experiences, where the only common factor among the attractions is that they are all based on intellectual properties that just happened to be movie franchises. This started to feel like a real loss when I learned that the Backlot Tour and Lights, Motors, Action at Disney were being bulldozed for sake of Star Wars: Galaxy’s edge, the former of which was a very important ride to my childhood, and the latter of which was something that I always wanted to see. Lo and behold, a little research revealed that both of these attractions were intact at Disney Studios in Paris. So, a date in the South of France, personally-important theme park attractions in the north, TGV connecting them, and, oh, yeah, duh, it’s Paris, that’s justification in itself.
I planned it out meticulously. For the week leading up to the trip, I would get up, go to work, and go to bed an hour earlier every day (the trip was only going to be three days, so any jet-lag-induced napping would have had an alarmingly high opportunity cost). Then, on the day of the flight, I woke up just before midnight, had breakfast at a favorite bar at closing time, went in to work, and left for JFK by noon. Ten hours of globe-trotting later, I arrived on the Mediterranean coast and proceeded to mispronounce everything.
The date in France was supposed to be our third. What traditionally happens on the third date? Now, let it be known that I would NEVER be the type of person to demand sexuality from anyone, but, you do have to admit, flying 20% of the circumference of a planet is a pretty grand gesture, is it not? I mean, you can’t get a much grander gesture before you literally run out of planet. So, for this third date to take place and for me to not get laid is pretty empirical proof that I am quite irrevocably unfuckable. My next plan is to start looking for dates in Bangladesh (or Oklahoma), because that’s as close as you can get to antipodal (a perfect 50% of the planet's circumference) as you can get from here. Oh, and those two attractions at Disney Studios, not kidding, they were closed ahead of schedule a week before I arrived. Now, I’m not asking for pity at all; don’t get me wrong, I had a blast! It’s Paris, godsdamnit! But I prefer to view this trip in the narrower, funnier, yet sadder context of the two busts above because it helps me to better come to terms with the parts of myself I dislike. As I often say: “I could either laugh or cry at myself. I’d rather one than the other.”

1. I returned from France with a Motorcycle:

Although France girl never worked out (I don’t think I made a fool of myself or anything, but, remember, I am legitimately inept at this), the trip to France did have a lasting impact on my life in another way. I am an avid bicyclist for a variety of reasons: staying active, helping the environment, and it’s flying like superman at ground level when [safely!] dodging in and out of undergrads. Now, while strolling down the lonely streets of a certain city in the South of France, I encountered one particular bicycle rack with about 25% regular bicycles, about 25% electric bicycles, about 25% mopeds and scooters, and 25% fully-blown motorcycles, all chained up side by side. Having a doctor as a parent, I spent my entire life thinking of motorcycles as hooligan deathtraps, but, here, I was seeing them for the first time in the context of something I had already made an important part of my life.
Upon returning home (by the way, you already know my disdain for New York Shitty [sic] and Wrong Island [sic], so imagine the gutwrenching heartbreak of arriving there after just having spent a weekend in Paris[!]), I arrived at the parking lot, looked at my car, and counted room for four extra people that I didn’t need (because I had no friends). Thus, in my feverish road-tripping, I was hauling around an unnecessary 1.96 tons of extra material – with a dreadful gas mileage to boot! – killing the planet as a result. The next few days were spent obsessively investigating this newfound world which I had heretofore disregarded. Ever since being gifted my car and spittaking at its gas mileage, I always wanted another, more environmentally-conscious vehicle. However, living in the so-called Pennsyltucky, electric vehicle charging stations are fairly sparse in their deployment. Also, I didn’t want to buy a true replacement vehicle, as I am too poor. I was more targeting a hyper-environmentally-conscious vehicle which I could use for my luxury adventures, and then still have the old, reliable gas-guzzler for when I needed to haul around a couch or power through to Virginia. Motorcycles, as I found, have an average of 56mpg, 2.5 times better than my car.
But, now, I was starting to find my way into the culture of motorcycles, something which, on the whole, I find myself violently at odds with. As the joke I tell goes, most motorcycles aren’t actually built for long-distance exploring, like what I already did in my car. Most of them are dirt bikes, with basically bench seats, or sport bikes, which require you to hunch over and lean your stomach on the gas tank. Not very comfortable for long treks. There are only two types of bikes made with comfort in mind: the sport-tourer, which I ended up getting, and the cruiser, which is made entirely out of chrome, handle-bar mustaches, and racism (or homophobia, depending on my audience). Needless to say, I prefer the former.
For those interested, I ended up with the Yamaha Tracer GT. In addition to (proudly!) having only one piece of chrome (the downward-facing exhaust) and being sexy and futuristic as all futhermuck, it is functional, having two panniers (saddle-bags), each capable of holding four half-gallons of Berkey Creamery ice cream (ask me how I know). Skipping over many of the specifics of how I chose this particular model regarding my choice of motorcycle, a big figure in motorcycle news opened his review of the Tracer with “It’s not often I ride a motorcycle and walk away with existential questions for the readers.” For those who have been following along, this quote is the exact thing that I latch on to as part of my newfound identity as a blissful lunatic.

1. The Semester of Hell and solving a decade-old issue in microbial physiology:

So, come the end of my first year as a graduate student, I started to look towards my second fall semester. The only thing I had to do was my qualifying exam, the really big, month-long exam that determines whether or not you can stay in graduate school. But that was only during November, so, overall, it was going to be an empty semester. Then I learned that a big-name professor in microbiology was retiring, and the last time he was going to teach would be that fall. So, I signed up for his course. After all, it was supposed to be an empty semester. Then I learned of a prestigious grant that I could apply for, so I decided to take a grant-writing course. After all, it was supposed to be an empty semester. Then I got an email from the department, saying that they needed more TAs for Freshman Biology lab. I had to TA as a requirement of my program, so I might as well get it out of the way now. After all, it was supposed to be an empty semester. Then, in July and August, I made an incredible discovery that solved a problem in microbial physiology that had been around since 2009 (pin in that). I spoke with my PI, and he said we could power through and probably get a paper out in under a year. I told him I wanted to do that. After all, it was supposed to be an empty semester.
Well, as you can now see, it wasn’t a very empty semester, was it now? To great surprise, I survived, but not unscathed. On average, I worked 60-70 hours a week, though some of it was partially my own doing (for example, my term paper for the bacterial physiology course had seventy citations, even though it was only required to have ten). One “highlight” was TAing. Apparently, my students thought my quiz was so hard that they called the university police on me (I’m not exaggerating; we had to pursue academic integrity violations. It was a debacle). I joked that, with each subsequent class period, I became more and more sympathetic to the antagonists of teen dystopian novels; maybe it is time to build a floating elitist city in the sky and leave the rest of the planet to shit, after all?
Now, I’m certain that many of you are curious as to the contents of my discovery. I can’t exactly speak freely, as the manuscript is in review, but, even if I could, it would be waaaaay too complex and jargony to be comprehensible to the lay public (and this is already going on long enough). Suffice it to be the simple version: A particular class of protein had been known in microbes for a very long time and is involved in pretty much everything, from simple feeding to complex infections. In certain bacteria, this category of protein is modified in a certain way, and people always thought (for over 40 years) that this modification was a transport signal. However, a decade ago, a research groups, perplexingly, discovered these modified proteins in a bacterium that didn’t have th modification-making enzyme. This left two major questions: if not for transport, what was this modification for; and, what is the enzyme that makes the modification in all the other bacteria? I solved the latter question by spending four months looking through the entire genome of the original bacterium and finally finding the modification-making protein, and I’ve spent ever since trying to characterize it. The paper should be published sometime within a month or three (the current coronapocalypse is a boon for manuscript-preparation). Additionally, the previous graduate student in the lab to me made an interesting discovery regarding the genetics of the modification-making enzyme, and my next paper will expand on their work to determine the actual function of this modification. These proteins and their modifications are important because (on the applied side) they belong to major pathogens and could be a target for treating infections and (on the basic side) we have indications that they are part of a planetary-wide stress put on bacteria during evolution (hence, my astrobiological machinations).
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Chapter 2: Where I came from.
Now we have to get into how I got to this point. Suffice it to say that I have a lot of sexual trauma. In 2014, when I was still an undergrad, I met whom I called then my soulmate. They were beautiful, fun, perky, and adventurous. They were my first relationship and we took each other’s virginity in a tent after a romantic picnic. But, sadly, less than a year in, things started to go off the rails. I came out as polyamorous. The way I have best found to describe it is when you ask a parent which their favorite child is. All parents worth their salt will say “I love each of my children in their own, unique way.” Such is the same with me. At the time, I had feelings for some of my other friends; but! mind you! they were in no way enough to ever consider ever leaving my soulmate. It was simply such that I had my one, my true, my only, but I didn’t want that to have to mean I tell all other people in my life “Bah! You mean nothing to me because of the ambiguity of my relationship status at the time you met me.” I also had quite a complex from growing up so antisocially and isolated. This was a time in my life when things started to look up. Pieces were finally starting to fall into place, I had some friends and acquaintances, and people actually cared for me. It was thusly then that I realized I was polyamorous, but in mostly a loving way, not necessarily as a swinger or horndog. So, I came out.
In any other situation in the world, this might have not been as catastrophic. However, there were certain things about my soulmate which I knew not at the time that caused not just my relationship, not just my life, but my reality to crumble. You see, they grew up in an incredibly abusive situation, and the only way they knew how to act was to throw away every part of themselves for the people whom they loved. Whelp, that meant “forcing” themselves to be polyamorous for me. They devised a ridiculous plan where they would go out and sleep with lots of people to become okay with the idea of nonmonogamy. Needless to say, this was a batshit crazy idea, but they didn’t tell me their true feelings of how traumatizing this would be for them, and I decided to trust them that this is what they knew would be best for them and that it would all work out in the end. What can I say? What is love if not supporting your partner? I honestly thought it could be okay.
However, as you might guess, it was not. The main issue came from all their mental instability that they had hidden from me for so long. They became quite dissociative and hid it all from me. As such, they tried to compartmentalize their sexual exploration away from our relationship, making me less involved. In short, I was supposed to be their monogamous “safe space” while they did all this terrible shit to themselves. Understandably, this backfired. Rather than it being a collaborative, supportive, gentle, loving exploration, it became dishonest, filled with deceit. They lied to me about doing things with people and about not doing things with people. They made up stories of fuckbuddies and hid some of the real people they were fucking. All the while, I was starting to lose my grip on reality, because, here they were, getting to do all the things I had always wanted, practically rubbing it all in my face, while barring me from having any part of it for myself. It was tortuous. Highlights include them fucking my brother for four uninterrupted hours, and kicking me out of my bed and bedroom to fuck a nine-inch cock while I made them breakfast, then not allowing me to enter until they had finished.
When I learned that they hid that they were flunking all their classes in college, I snapped, and nothing was ever the same again. That’s not how you treat your soulmate. It was supposed to be us against the world, but they weren’t acting like we were a team. In retrospect, I was heartbroken for well more than half of the time we were a couple. The entire last year we were together, I was depressed beyond description. I would come home from work and I would have so little energy that my personality would just melt away. I was devoid of existence. I would sit on a couch, and stare away at nothingness for hours on end. To my credit, my ex would cover me in a blanket, put dinner on my lap, set the iPad in front of me, and put on an anime. I know they truly loved me because they did this for over six months, without complaining.
However, I was simply too broken. Things reached one fever pitch after another. I could always tell that something was wrong, that, as hard as I tried, I was never actually getting through to the person inside. It all felt so superficial. I always knew they were hiding things (not just sexual stuff, but, more simply, their own wants and desires, their simple, everyday preferences). They were there, but not present. So, faced with a soulmate who wasn’t sharing their soul, trauma most insurmountable, and no other options, I did the only thing I could: I accepted a job across the country in New York and fled the width of a continent.
However, as you already know, things didn’t get better. I couldn’t get a date for the life of me; I was – and am – too oddball. That I’ve had only one relationship and that it imploded quite catastrophically does not predispose me to self-worth or experience with dating. I am very intellectual, but a dullard at socialization. Hell, I never even learned how to make out. To boot, I have all this trauma which will take years to move on from. Last christmas, my now ex reached out to me, and we talked pretty much every day for four months. Since I left, they managed to somehow actually succeed in making themselves polyamorous, whereupon they proceeded to date and fuck my now (former) best friend, then leave them to date and move in with their boss from work, whom is over a decade older than them. They were in this relationship for over two and a half years, and we’ve been apart for three. Talking to them again has been rather tortuous, as I’ve been treated to such lovely details about their sex life while being, once again, excluded from it most royally. So… yeah… that’s been fun. And people wonder why I have such a boatload of trauma. After misery peaking once again, I realized that we had come to an impasse: I cannot move forward from the past without them, and they don’t want me back until I’ve moved forward from the past. Such is where things were last left, and I have no indication that they will ever change meaningfully from this.
Now, I want to make clear that I am not at all looking for any sort of statements regarding how I should forget about them and move on. There is so much more nuance than what I can describe here, and I’m not completely without blame either. Although I do not think I fucked up anywhere near as apocalyptically, I did hurt them, too. Nor do I necessarily hate them, either. Though what they did was incredibly, world-endingly hurtful and stupid, it was not done with malice. Time has only made me more sympathetic to their situation, and, thus, their actions. In short, their parent was incredibly abusive, and they also were terrified of losing me, so they were drunk on fear and thought that they needed to act in major ways to keep me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely think that what they did then and have done since has ruined my life, but I understand why things happened the way they did and I don’t love them any less. I mean, I did say they were my soulmate, didn’t I? That has to count for something, doesn’t it? Seriously, though, I wish so badly that I hated them for all they did. That would make it so much easier to move on. I still identify as polyamorous, so this has the unpleasant side-effect of freezing my emotional development on the matter in place. In my case, I could be happily married for a decade and still be nowhere nearer to being able to move on from this ex, so it’s not like having any new sexual or romantic conquests will actually help me to move on from them. And, before you suggest, I already have a therapist, and she’s very nice.
So, since I’ve just spent ten pages telling you about three years of failed efforts to move on, comments or messages saying “move on, dude” will not be looked upon kindly.
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Chapter 3: Where I want to go.
So, as you can now see, I am the literal incarnation of damaged goods. I still really don’t know where I am going to post this, but my story is complicated enough that one part is inseparable from the other. If I’m posting this on a subreddit for sexual searches, you’ll need to know why a simple hookup is not on the table at all; conversely, if I’m posting this to a subreddit in search of romantic partners, you’ll need to know about my dreadful sexual brokenness and resulting insecurities up front. Either way, I’ve now managed to waste the time of two groups instead of one; how overachieving of me!
At this juncture of my life, I’ve somewhat come to terms with the fact I won’t ever be getting the tools I need to move on from my ex (something for which I them somewhat resent). However, if it wasn’t made abundantly clear heretofore, the acquisition of another compatriot is the taddest bit flummoxing for me. In short-form, swiping-based dating app formats, it is far too easy to disregard my numerous quirks as simply that, not scars from a lengthy, complicated, demoralizing battle against a society which I am physiologically incapable of understanding. Oh, and the global coronapocalypsemageddonocaust has slightly impacted my ability to partake in social events wherewithin people might be met.
In truth, I am not necessarily the sexiest person in world. I’m a tad bit overweight, but I both wear it well (being absurdly tall helps) and am actively trying to change it (I’ve taken up running [surprisingly enjoyable!] and have lost ~10kg). I definitely don’t think I have an ugly face or anything. But I don’t think that’s actually my problem. In the event that it hasn’t been blindingly obvious up to this point, I am not your average cookie. In stark brief, I attended the Stanford (yes, that one) Online High School, dropped out, started college at 14, graduate at 19 with honors, and am now a Graduate Fellow (one step above student) at an Ivy-League university (expanded definition, fight me). As such, the way in which I go through my life is fairly cerebral. To those whom understand not my eccentricities or the subjects of which I speak, I am perceived as talking down to others. However, it is simply the way in which I approach the world, and I am wholly oblivious in the moment of how I could be perceived as such.
So it is thusly that I here myself find, holding on to the dreadfully unrealistic hope that being honest with the world about myself will earn me the possibility to find another soulmate, but one not programmed to shred what little sanity I have left. Here goes hope:
Regarding my location, if you hadn’t figured out, I live in central Pennsyltucky – 9 miles from the geographic centerpoint of the state, in fact. However, as I tell prospective students, while Penn State is in the middle of nowhere, it is half-way to everywhere! That, combined with my adventurous proclivities, opens up (literal!) horizons, dramatically. I can easily make it in a day trip to anywhere within Pennsylvania (though I love Pittsburgh!) or anywhere in the Megalopolis between Trenton and DC. At a slight stretch, I can also reach NYC, Upstate, Ohio, or, maybe, West Virginia. I am definitely open to meeting people from outside my immediate drive-shed – especially since pretty much all dates in the COVID-19 era start with Zoom, anyway – however, since I’ve been to so many places, front-of-the-line priority will be given to those from places I desire to explore more, including (in order of decreasing preference): Colorado, Northern California, Minnesota, Michigan, Arizona, Texas, and Vermont. If things develop, I both have the means and inclination to successfully conduct an LDR until I finish graduate school in 3-4 years.
Regarding the type of partner, while I am genuinely pansexual, I seem to be mostly romantically attracted with feminine-presenting people. Though, were I to have my druthers, I’d prefer you to be busty, at least moderately height-weight-proportional, and similarly tall, I affirmatively believe that it’s more how you use what you have than what you actually have, so I will always choose the average slut over the prudish bombshell. Other than that, I remain open minded to people of pretty much all walks of life.
Speaking of, for reasons that I hope are quite evident, I am a taaaaaaaaaaaad delicate in my sexuality. I used to be slightly dominant, but am definitely not anymore. I am almost in the realm of gentlefemdom. Please do be understanding that it’ll take some time (and, most likely, lots and lots of crying. I just want you to be sexually open yet patient enough that I could slowly grow back into my sexuality. Actually, that’s part of what I’m most hopeful for in a new partner. It would be really nice to have someone that is strong in their sexuality, and acts very openly with it, but is patient and loyal enough to not make me worried or scared. Someone who would, say, impulsively strip for a hike or skinny-dip, but wouldn’t pressure me to do the same if I wasn’t in the right headspace to do so.
Romantically, well, that’s a more complicated issue. I still identify as polyamorous, and I wouldn’t expect total devotion from my partner, but this is assuredly a difficult area. I think I would be benefitted by a period (likely 6-12 months) by monogamy, just so that I can recover enough to a functional level, then we can slowly and safely open up the relationship (with group stuff happening well before metamours).
Just please be careful with my heart. It’s already taken so much of a beating, and I don’t know how much more it can handle.
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Epilogue:
So, yeah, I guess that’s me. If you’ve made it this far, I at least thank you for doing so. I’ve been emotionally isolated for so long that it’s nice to just be acknowledged by other people. I know the likelihood of anything meaningful coming from this is quite, quite low, but this is part of me trying to move forward from the people that hurt me so cripplingly. I definitely come with some baggage, but I hope I’ve shown you who I am and that I at least have the potential to be good again.
I shall leave you with my dating profile. Hopefully this will show you the sonderous story that goes into only but a few words: “I find humor in everything and live for adventures. Highly sarcastic, hot-sauce-addicted, somewhat queer molecular and astrobiologist. Pro: I’m genuine. Con: -ly crazy. Looking for a porter to help me carry my emotional baggage.”