Gambling Addiction : Can gambling addiction be cured ...

Previous post https://www.reddit.com/cheating_stories/comments/k0okky/update_7_5_days_since_i_served_my_stbxw_30f_of_7/

Its been an interesting week. This is a long one, but i have gotten so much help from here i feel obligated to share the current status and what i have learned so far.

I have moved back to my house with the kids. Sue also moved back inn a few days ago. Mom and Dad is with us during the day and helps out a lot.
Kids are doing well considering everything but they are naturally shaken up.
Their parents basically disappeared for 2 weeks while they where parked with their grandparents.
I wish i handled the 2 first weeks better for the sake of my kids but i just couldn't. I was totally lost and Its been very hard to get back out of the hole i got stuck in.
Getting back with the kids has helped me find a lot of strength i didn't even know i had.
I am doing well, i am happy to inform everyone that i am in control of my faculties.
There is still a shitt load of pain and trauma to work through but i manage it very well now.
I am more sure of myself, i feel confident and positive for the future.
I am systematic and very detail focused by nature. It helps me to maintain a detailed journal. Actually for the both of us at the moment, Me and Sue. It helps us dig deep into one and one issue.
We have a dedicated 1 hour session where we talk every day. During this we try to understand and prioritize the issues we need to discuss. We also put things on ice for dealing with later if we cant find a good solution or resolution for now.
This 1 hour allows us to have some energy left to spend with the kids watching tv, playing schoolwork, etc. 1 hour is pretty exhausting, when we are brutally honest, so we limit it for the moment. It allow us to disconnect after the session and We have made some good new memories, all of us together.
This has helped us so much! I highly recommend this if you are working with a partner in a difficult situation like this.
It naturally creates a plan of attack and allows us to fully work through issues with determination and a little bit of emotional distance. If we don't finish we just continue the discussion the next day.

Me and the kids have also talked a lot and we have been to IC for each of them plus family therapy with me and the boys. The last session also included Sue.
Sue struggled with the session. She is drowning in shame and guilt at the moment so i guess we need to be patient.
Sue has been out of the hospital for a few days and is better off living at the house with the rest of us. Before you guys pile on me to kick her out,,,. I will not kick out the unemployed mother of my children in the middle of a pandemic.
I think about it this way, when my kids are grown and they ask me about this period i want to be able to be proud of most of my behavior.
I find its also very helpful to think about things long term. It helps me see past the overwhelming immediate pain and lets me set targets to aim for.
Sue is in daily therapy and has been diagnosed with mild PTSD. Her therapist is sure she is no longer at risk of terminating herself.
Kids have enjoyed having her at home, they missed their mother of course. She seams stable and i think staying together is the best option for her and everyone at this point.

Lets get one of the main issues out of the way, I have decided that the divorce will go through.

The Deciding argument actually came from a PM dialogue i had with a self proclaimed lesbian feminist. The discussion included a lot of nonsense about patriarchy and historical oppression, but she had some good arguments about my wife being a grown woman and therefor having agency.
She praised me a lot for allowing my wife to make her own choices actually. ??? Even if those choices where stupid...
I actually regret not confronting Sue harder earlier, but i wasn't in a good place mentally and i didn't make all the best choices. Its easy to se a better path in hindsight.
The talk with the feminist was at times confusing, but the closing argument was: If this was a married gay couple with 2 males would anyone question the agency of the partners? The ws or the bs? The answer to that is no so i will treat my wife like she has agency to make her own choices and let her face the consequences from those.
I have accept that my wife made a choice to do this, it made perfect sense to her, its what she wanted at the time.
It was a stupid choice but people make stupid choices every day, they drink and drive, they commit stupid acts and in all cases. If they are exposed, there will be negative consequences of such bad choices.

I have looked hard into myself and here is what i have accepted.
I cant reconcile Sues actions with the woman i believed her to be.
The hard truth is, I dont know this woman that used to be my wife. I just dont trust her anymore and i cannot remain married to a person i dont feel i know or trust.
Its absolutely devastating to Sue but she accepts and understands my decision.

She has offered everything to me in the divorce. All our assets, house, cars full custody.
I have said a hard no to that. We will divide assets fairly and she will automatically regain 50/50 custody once she is ok with it, and is declared ok for this by her psychiatrist.
She has also insisted that i find some woman and have an affair with her, i will not do that. I am not really interested in getting into another relationship. I feel i have enough on my plate.
Secondly i think Sue wants this, primarily because she believes this will easy her guilt.
I on the other hand don't see how bringing more pain and confusion into this situation will help anything.
Also i don't have the right to bring an innocent third party into this painful mess.

She has also offered full access to everything, complete transparency, and to not do anything without my permission.
But i dont want to be her warden or her jailer. If she wants to show me, fine she can, but i will not monitor her like i have done. Building trust is on her now.
I don't want to hate Sue, i am angry with her. But i know i need find a way past that.
I want our kids to have their mother in their life. Regardless of the final outcome of this.
We had a good life up until recently. I am grateful for the time we had, and we both love our children.

The day after the meeting in the hospital, me and the wife started communicating electronically.
We agreed that the best way to open the dialogue was for Sue to author a letter for me.
The letter would detail everything she has done while we have been together. Everything about her friends, how it started with Frank. Everything up until the day she sat down to type this all out. Her desires, wants, fears, needs, drives, etc.

Oh before i forget... We found out Frank has left the country. He has transferred money back, or at least the half that belongs to his wife. So Franks wife is ok.
Turns out Franks own mother hired a PI to track him down Monday. She was worried about him, plus very angry. His mother will not tell us where he is, only that he is in a different country.
Frank has agreed to a uncontested divorce, and will not be back any time soon.
From what i have been told, one of the betrayed husbands apparently threatened Frank on Saturday. But i don't know, its mostly hearsay and rumor at this point.

Sue's letter shows the process Sue went through to get to a point where she could justify to herself having an affair. I was surprised to learn that It actually started over 3 years ago.
It was incredibly hard for me to read, but it felt honest, very honest.
A woman from their school friend group, lets call her Betty, that moved away at 18 had moved back to the area around 4 years ago with her family.
Betty started an affair with an ex from school. She would wax on about how great it was. How they would sneak off to spa hotels, bla bla. How nobody got hurt because they didnt know bla bla. How she deserved it, bla bla. How the cheating actually made her a better wife, bla bla.
Basically every cheating excuse in the book. I have learned that a total of 4 women in the group have cheated on their husbands in addition to Sue. 2 of them each had short affairs that terminated after the first physical meeting. Betty had multiple long term affairs over the years. One other woman had a 7 month affair that just ended. She joined Betty in the promotional efforts for the benefits of affairs when she started hers 7 months ago.
From what i hear 3 husbands have already decided to file for divorce.

I have been trying to understand my wifes actions to see if there is something i missed.
Its been hard to accept, but her actions in regards to the affair seams to have nothing to do with me.
She has explained how Life became monotone and the affair became a fantasy that grew over the years. A fantasy escape of sorts from day to day life. When Frank showed an interest she got trapped in it. The rush, the excitement.
She never really considered the consequences, or that it would hurt me or her family. It was never her intention. She got obsessed with getting her fix and it took more and more risk to get it.
Her cheating friends egged her on while her loyal friends spoke against it, but didnt insist.

I have talked a lot to Sues and her therapist. I have understood that i need to think a little differently about this. its not black and white. There are many additional variables and nuances to consider, not just my own perception, hurt and ego.
Once i realized that i need to take time to fully reflect on this before i decide anything my stress levels have gone way back, almost back to normal.
Several therapists have explained it to me in the mental framework of this type of compulsive, addictive behavior.
I have also talked to a lot of WW and BS, (thank you so much for answering all my stupid questions.) I am starting to better understand this now.
This does not excuse Sues actions but it makes it a little understandable in some ways. I can comprehend it. This doesn't mean i forgive or forget it though.
Like everyone knows, smoking is bad, drinking is bad. Exorcising regularly is important, junk food hurts you etc.
People know these things, still they do them all their lives. Look at the lung cancer ward with dying patients still smoking outside.
I understand Its a similar reaction in Sues brain in relation to this affair. An affair became a fantasy, the excitement of it became an addiction. Like a kind of adrenaline junkie.

At the hotel Frank had just started to give her oral after some initial touching/kissing and they where only a few minutes into it when i crashed reality into her fantasy world.
Sue has confessed that she was going to go all the way.
After reality hit, she became desperate to fix it, it was all she could think about. It explains her behavior a bit after D-day.
When she read the reddit posts and lost hope that she could fix anything she just couldnt deal with it. she tried to end it. S
he has admitted that if the shoe was on the other foot she would leave me. So at least i know she is being honest.
I seriously doubt she would cheat again. She got scarred for life. Now she just cannot understand herself, why she did this.
Now I see Sue as i would look at someone with a gambling addiction. I don't respect that kind of weakness, but i believe people can change.
I am no quire boy myself and experimented with drugs back in the day. I got out of it when somone gave me chance, so i will see if Sue can deal with her issues with my help.
To be honest I think the shock of it cured her of that vice.

That brings me to the future. I will give Sue an opportunity to first re-gain my respect and then maybe, just maybe my trust.
If she re-gains my respect and trust i will consider starting to date her again.
Sue seams to be very motivated by this and is clearly putting inn a lot of effort.
I have made it clear that this is on her to do this, she will have to prove it to me.

She has already had one of the betrayed husbands over and explained everything to him. Then she invited his wife over. Her former friend. And told her that she had explained everything to her husband.
Lots of yelling ensued, but she stood firm and admitted her role in it. That took guts. She did the right thing.
She has also apologized and talked to Franks wife, they sort of hit it off actually, they where joking about Franks weaknesses over several glasses of vine. It was all kind of strange to me, Bizarre even... I listened from the hallway. Frank was not painted in a flattering light to put it that way.
Is this something women do? Bond over ripping into a common x?

Sue has asked the remaining betrayed husbands if they want the same information for them.

We had Betty at our door yesterday begging Sue not to tell her husband. Betty wanted Sue to agree to a "light version" or she was sure her husband would leave her.
My wife refused her request, Bettys husband is coming over for dinner this evening. Sue promised he will get the full unfiltered truth. Its safe to say Sue and Betty are no longer friends.

She has been flooded by messages from the other cheaters, and she has refused them as well.
The loyal wives have made requests for Sue to meet their husbands to reassure them and she has agreed to this as well. I guess she knows who her friends are now.

I actually made a big spreadsheets of my choices and options. Its a gigantic mess, measuring the pros and cons.
What is best for the kids, what is the benefits of this and that. What is the negative side of this and that.
For example there is no guarantee that a new girlfriend would be any more faithful, there is no guarantee i would find a new partner compatible with my kids, ect, etc, etc.
All in all i come to the conclusion that my best choice for now, especially for the kids, is to take my time and see if Sue makes any progress. I need to see that she can get to a point where we can try to build a new relationship. The one we have is dead. Still it was a good one on so, so many levels. Maybe we could have that again? Maybe it will fail? Who knows?
I am not in a rush and if i think its futile I will act. Until then we can practice co-parenting and find ways to remain at least cordial.
I am not a perfect husband or human be any stretch. I have many flaws just like everyone else. I will keep this in mind whenever i feel i am in a position where i have to judge Sue moving forward.
So this is probably my last activity here, maybe i will do another update in a year or 2. I cannot thank the reddit community enough. thank you for all your help.
I know that in the end its up to me to decide and thankfully you all set time aside to help me reflect more broadly.

Lockdown 3.0 Things to do, plus help and support.

Disclaimer I want to thank everyone for the gilds, replies and suggestions. I just do not have time to reply to everyone, but I am reading everything. I am not sure how much bigger the thread can be, I already typed this but it vanished so I think I'm at the limit. I will try to keep updating, but I don't expect the thread to be up top for much longer and will likely vanish soon, so if you need anything save it.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers

Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
Disney+
Britbox
Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder

If you have not subscribed to the any of the above, you can get a few months of free TV by signing up and cancelling instantly. I suggest waiting at least 5 minutes just to let it go through the system.
Some tips for Now TV. IF you already have a subscription, I've noticed you can get it cheaper by cancelling. When you cancel they will beg you to stay. Select "I can not afford it this month" and they should beg again, telling you what shows they have. If you say you still want to cancel, they'll beg one last time and offer you the subscription for cheaper. This won't work every month, but I've noticed they'll always offer it the first time, then again after a couple months. If you're subscribed to both films and entertainment do the most expensive one as it may not work both times (but it might!). You can also pick up passes from storefronts a lot cheaper sometimes, before I could pick one up on Amazon for £3 but, they seem to have cracked down on it. If you shop around (or if anyone knows of a legitimate store please let me know) you might be able to pick it up cheaper. Lastly, check their website and under your account they should have an "offers for you" section.
Completely free TV

If you do have a smart TV and/or device, there are some good free streaming apps. One I really love is called PlutoTV. I know this is on both Roku and the fire stick, as well as Ps4/Ps5 and xbox.
Pluto offers a bunch of live channels and now an on demand section, all for free. It has adverts but they are actually short (shorter than regular TV and fewer of them). Some of the channels are just streaming certain shows like Mythbusters 24/7 or Dog the bounty hunter, but it has a lot of old movie channels as well as 24/7 kickboxing and MMA. It also has a 24/7 poker channel I quite like.
Another one I like is Rakuten Viki however, I haven't watched it for a while as my fire stick is only 1080p and I have too many other devices attached. I believe it is on Roku but you have to jump through some hoops and have an account. The last I checked on the fire stick you did not. Viki offers a metric ton of Asian shows, mainly from Japan and South Korea but it does have chinese, Malaysian etc. It has subtitles. Some Japanese shows are hysterical, albeit weird.
Roku also do their own channels with free shows if you own a device.
For those who don't have a smart TV or a Streaming device, you can set up your own computer as a dedicated streaming device with Plex. It's been a while since I used it but I believe it now also offers free movies and TV.
Anime
If you are into Anime there is

The first 2 are free to watch, or offer premium without ads which you can have a trial with. Crunchyroll is the better of the two with more original choice for Japanese voice and subs, while Funimation has more Dubs. I don't believe HiDive is free to watch but you do get a 2 week trial. These are more exclusives than the previous two.
PC Centric software
If you are a gamer or like Audiobooks or anything that uses computers for things like music making, programming or graphic design

Humble Bundle offers, as per the name, bundles. A long running site that got bought out by IGN. It offers both single items and bundles you can buy individually/as a pack while also offering a separate monthly subscription for around £8-9. The subscription gives you 12 games on average per month. That's the simplest explanation but it changes somewhat as sometimes you get to pick 10 out of 14 games, or get all 12.
Humble bundle offers more than just games though. Every Tuesday they bring a new bundle of games, while Thursday (I "think) a new bundle of books. They very often have books from the Black Library giving you a ton of Warhammer books. Sometimes it's standard E-books, other times it's audiobooks. A few times a year they do bundles for graphic design, a typical bundle would include programs like Paintshop Pro Corel Painter etc, They usually go for £0.76 for tier 1 up to around £18 for tier 3, which would include 4-6 full titles with 10+ addons. They also often have Music making bundles or video editing software as well as Programming or video game development.
The bundles change often, they usually have around 11 bundles at a time that last for 20 days. Sometimes it's trash but they do often have some very good deals.
Fanatical offers the same as humble bundle except usually not as high quality, but sometimes they do have some incredible deals, and they are very very cheap.
Both humble and fanatical are safe, trusted and been around a long time, and they are NOT grey market key sites. They work with the publishers and developers. You can buy games both old and new for a lot cheaper than you would most other places. Unless it states otherwise, keys are usually for steam.
**BOTH HB and Fanatical (HB much more common) offer free games fairly often. The catch is linking your steam account to them (at least HB). It is safe however.
IndieGala is another site like above. Except, these are much much lower quality. However, they offer a metric ton of free games. Quality is low but it is legitimate, and a lot of free stuff.
Game Store Fronts

Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.

Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months

Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.

There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks

Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.

Education

Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.

If you need some spare change
Okay, I don't generally bother with it, but maybe some of this could be useful to you. These are NOT a quick way to make a fortune. These are small things you can do over time for a bit of pocket change

If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."

That's it for now. I will try to update as I go along. A long post but I hope that it can help some of you with finding something good to do that's free, cheap or a bargain. I do suggest getting prime, especially since you get free music, free delivery, free TV and music and free video games each month. In fact, there's a ton of perks and I feel I've gotten way over the cost investment.
Hope it helps someone at least
PartTimeCrazy said if you bought an Apple product you get 3 free months of Apple Arcade and Apple TV free for a year
fakehunted is upset I didn't mention wanking. Tesco have 225 sheets of Tissue for £0.75!
tale_lost suggested Project Gutenberg for a collection of free E-Books
Learning Language
Unfortunately, I don't have time to check every link listed so I will link the comments:
Togtogtog Gives a lot of links for Spanish

Duolingo Numerous people have suggested this So I haven't used myself. Thanks to OhHiGCHQ StephanieMecredy & Allorie_95

Board & Tabletop games
Corporal_Anaesthetic has made a list of Board games
ilyemco suggested these
HEALTH
I'm not a doctor! But if you're a smoker, something I strongly suggest is to quit. I struggled for years but in the first lockdown I quit, technically. I haven't had a cigarette since, however, I do that silly thing millennials do. I vape, but, it made quitting extremely easy. I would not have been able to do it if it wasn't for 88Vape They sell extremely cheap liquids at £1 each. You can find these in B&M but you can pick up 25 for £20 or buy your own mix.
Vitamin D deficiency has been said to be a big problem for the virus. I'd suggest (again, not a doctor!) that you pick some up. Tesco do a 3 for 2 deal. So you can pick up 270 tablets for £7.
If you are vulnerable you MIGHT be able to phone tesco and get put on their delivery saver list (currently it's paused but phoning may help. At the very least they might give you a priority slot. I did this for my mum, we didn't shop at Tesco but I phoned for her, and they put her on with no hassle, so she can always get a delivery.
HELP & ADVICE
The lockdown Rules.
Reasons to leave home include:

Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
Communal religious worship
Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house

I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)

To flee the threat of harm or violence.*
CoronaVirus Symptoms
CoronaVirus government site You can check your location and how many cases here.
Worldometers Shows cases around the world.
Interactive UK Map Another easy to read map with cases in counties and local area's.
World Health Organisation

Support

FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted these links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:

Update:
Digital Art
These are Free

Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.

You can pick up a drawing tablet on Amazon quite cheap these days! Small ones that are just a black slate such as the wacom ones are good but takes some practice to get use to, but very worth it if you can't afford a dedicated drawing tablet with a screen.
Office suit software
A couple of free applications for word processing, spreadsheets etc.

LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.

Music Making
I'm going to direct to matthewharris806 for some links as all the programs I've used like Reason are expensive, or cheaper stuff in bundles such as Magix software.
Games development
D_Dad_Default gives some links for that here

My Christian Upbringing and How I Escaped

Discovering and embracing Satanism is an easier task for some than for others. I just wanted to share a little of my experience for anyone coming from a strict Christian upbringing or even a Christian cult. It's rare that someone is able to escape the clutches of a cult unscathed and then go on to thrive. It's not something that happens overnight and it can involve undoing a lot of ingrained beliefs, going through an identity crisis, losing family or friends, and changing your entire perception of yourself and life. Going through it, I wasn't sure I was going to ever get out. But now, I can really stand back and be amazed at how resilient we can be.
In the 80s, my midwestern parents found themselves in a self-destructive lifestyle, and after attending a church-hosted and horrific dramatization of people being dragged off to hell, they turned to Christianity as the magic cure for their unhappiness in life. When I was born, they were still brand-new born-agains struggling with substance abuse and addiction, but they went all in. And I mean ALL in. They ghosted all their friends, cut ties with every member of my extended family, and made a new family of believers. We were Pentecostal - the 700 club-watching, faith-healing, tongues-speaking, Proctor and Gamble-boycotting variety. If you've ever seen Jesus Camp that was basically my life. I don't remember a lot from those early years, but I've heard stories and have seen family photos to know that I don't want to remember.
As my sister and I got older, they attempted to shelter us from the horrors of the sin-ridden secular world. We were homeschooled with an all-Christian, church-approved curriculum taught by my mother (who had an 8th grade education) while my dad was at work. My textbooks contained and presented as fact the typical hoaxes and flawed analogies that form the basis for Christian science-denial, and I didn’t know any different. We lived in the Bible belt on a small farm, and everyone I knew was at least some form of Christian. There weren't enough non-believers to convert, so we spent most of our time trying to convert the Catholics and Baptists to "real" Christianity. My mom always said Pentecostals came first, Catholics and Baptists came along after and bastardized Christianity. Most of my "classes" were based in homemaking or farm work, and went along nicely with our weekly Wednesday night girl's program, The Missionettes. It was basically girl scouts but focused on Bible memorization and turning us into good Christian wives. We had badges like sewing, knitting, cooking, grooming, ettiquette, abstinence, and first aid. Of course we also had religious badges for communion, prayer, healing, fruits of the spirit, and the armor of god etc. A very well-rounded education.
While my parents went to church and we put on the face like we were living the blessed life, things at home weren't great. The hardest thing growing up was hearing all the adults at church go on and on about how great my parents were and how lucky I was to have such good Christian parents. One day, I remember my dad pulling me aside to tell me there was something wrong with my mom, that I should never make her angry because he wouldn't be able to choose between us. When I was 5, my mom threw a pair of scissors at my dad. They got embedded in his leg and he had to go to the emergency room. When I was around 6, my mom began to threaten my dad in front of us, saying by the time he got home from work, we would be gone. That my sister and I needed to pick who we wanted to live with because by the end of the day, we needed to be packed and ready to leave. My mom was a big fan of belts and the wooden spoon, and she never spared the rod. I have had many objects broken on me. When she would make us bend over, I would try to look back and apologize, to ask what I had done wrong, or what i could do to fix it, but anything other than complete eyes-foward submission was viewed as rebellion and only added to the count. She told me once in a joking manner that when I was in trouble, all I would say was "I want to hold you" to try to get out of punishment. She laughed. When I was 7, my mom told us that Satan told her to kill us with a potato peeler, and that she was going to kill us, my dad, and then herself. But “luckily” god "saved" us! After that, I remember my sister and I used to hide in our closet and pray to god to turn us into farm animals. Horses, dogs, chickens, anything, so we could run away and be free. We didn't even want to be human anymore. By the time I was 12, suicidal ideation set in and never really let go. Satan didn't scare me anymore. My mom did. Hell was real and I was living in it.
When I was 13, my mom found a pencil in a parking lot from a local high school and determined that it was a sign from god that we should be enrolled in public school. I was terrified. These people weren't anything like me, they were all lost sinners and it was my job to be the shining light in the midst of darkness, to teach them the way. However, it turned out, I was the one who did most of the learning. I was exposed to more math and science in high school than I had been in my entire life. I learned about other cultures and history. I actually made some friends and got to see how other people live for the first time in my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, at that high school even touched the evil I experienced at home. There were days I didn’t want to go home. I never missed a day of school if I could help it.
The things I had believed started to not make sense in my mind anymore. It took several years for me to put all the pieces together, but the final straw was actually reading the Bible entirely from cover to cover for the first time, rather than just the “reading plan” i was given. I learned when the gospels were actually written, who possibly wrote them and why. I started reading about as many different religions as I could and started realizing the similarties of them all. I had a good friend at the time who wasn't afraid to challenge every religious and political position I had, and realized that I didn't even know why I believed what I did, only that I was told to believe it and always had. I began to reexamine everything I believed, no matter how trivial or obvious. It became clear to me that more than anything, I just wanted more out of life than I was given.
Originally, I wasn't going to go to college. We didn't have enough money, no one in my family had ever gone to college, and my parents had just assumed that I'd end up being a pastor's wife who played the piano for church services. But on the advice of an advisor, I applied to and auditioned for a music program, and I got in. I was finally getting out. But not before my mom could have the final word. When my parents found out I had been talking to a boy at school and that I liked him, she called me "the whore" for a month. One day, I had the flu and missed school for a few days. My boyfriend asked if he could bring over a can of soup and the homework I had missed. My parents agreed, and when he came in, he sat on the end of my bed (the door was wide open and I was under a ton of blankets) to ask how I was doing. My mom walked by and screeched at the top of her lungs that he needed to get the fuck out of my room and out of her house. That we weren't allowed to be in the same room without supervision. I had basically learned that sticking up for myself was useless, but I would stick up for him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I got out of bed and got up into her face and called her a psychotic bitch. She demanded that my dad throw me out. I looked at him and he looked at me and I will never forget what he said. "I told you not to make her angry because I can't choose between you. This is her house. You have to leave."
So I left. I slept in my car that night and eventually stayed with my boyfriend's family until my aunt (who my parent's ghosted) heard what happened. She took me in for several months until I could make enough money working a few part-time jobs to afford a small apartment. I completely left the church after that. I did visit a few others and even worked as a choir director at a non-denomination church for a while as a side gig, but it just wasn't the same. The veil had been lifted.
Out of the dozens of families who knew me, who watched me grow up and spent time with my family (some who even knew what was going on at home), none of them attempted to contact me. Out of all of my church friends, I am still in contact with only one, who left around the same time I did. When people say leaving a cult is like commiting social suicide, they aren't exaggerating. I was completely cut off.
If you asked my parents today, they would tell you that around 18, I gave into doubt and fell from grace. That the friends I made outside of church brainwashed me. That going to college was the nail in the coffin of my salvation. They'd tell you that by the time I turned 18, I was lost. But I was never lost. Not really. They’d never tell you that I always got in trouble for constantly questioning things. When I was eight, I wrote on the back of an offering envelope “If god created us, who created god?” and left it on a church pew for one of the elders to find (and subsequently got a beating for it). They’d never tell you that at ten, I got into an argument with the children’s pastor for saying men were superior to women because they were created first. They’d never tell you that as a Missionette, I got caught skipping sewing class to crash the Royal Rangers’ (all boys group) flag football games and outdoor events. And they’d certainly never tell you that I was eventually replaced as the president of a bible study group at school for focusing on the less-read and more appalling stories in the Bible, telling people that the gospels weren’t actually written by eye-witnesses, and encouraging people to actually read and think for themselves.
Discovering Satanism was actually one of the biggest steps in trauma recovery for me. To realize that all of my actions and behaviors were based in natural human needs and emotions that aren't at all sinful. That my learned helplessness was a direct result of my upbringing and I didn't need it anymore. That I had control of my life now. That I'm resilient and capable of going through a fire and coming out on the other end, and that I don't have to forgive anyone for anything. That the only person I can rely on is myself.
Here I am on the other side of it all, through many twists and turns. I'm the first of my family to graduate high school, go to college, or go to graduate school. I'm now a professional scientist working on Alzheimer disease research and a keyboardist in a working band. I'm active in my community both in local politics and through volunteer work. Things are far from perfect. I still struggle with old emotions, behaviors and thought patterns. It’s taken many rituals and even daily effort sometimes, but I've achieved a level of happiness and fulfillment in life I never thought possible.
——————
There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast. Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth! Say unto thine own heart, "I am my own redeemer." Stop the way of them that would persecute you. Let those who devise thine undoing be hurled back to confusion and infamy. Let them be as chaff before the cyclone and after they have fallen rejoice in thine own salvation. Then all thy bones shall say pridefully, "Who is like unto me? Have I not been too strong for mine adversaries? Have I not delivered MYSELF by mine own brain and body?"
The Book of Satan - Anton Szandor LaVey

Lockdown, things to do, help & advice.

Disclaimer I am posting this here because I got a message from the mods asking me to. I'm not from London so links aren't London centric (but hopefully still of help) and the main post is here so any updates will likely be there (I will try here but it's hard to keep up with the amount of suggestions)
Thanks.
Yes, it's hard, it sucks, it's depressing. It is something we all have to do if you want to see this virus go. Everyone knows the deal, too many think they're the exception but no one is. However, staying home is hard so maybe I can help at least one or two people with some incentives. I'll try to give links to some things that can help cure the boredom, and some support if you need it.
Most of this might be obvious to some, some might not even have internet and of course, money is a big issue, so I'll try to give some suggestions:
For streaming and on demand things such as Netflix et al, don't forget you can subscribe for free for your first month. This goes for most things in the list. If you are worried about putting in your payment details and forgetting to cancel a month later, don't worry! You can sign up and immediately cancel and you still get your free month!
For people who don't have a smart TV, you can buy a cheap Amazon Fire TV stick or a Roku box. The Fire stick can go as low as £20 often for 1080p. It will drop to £30 for 4k.
I picked up a 4k Roku device for £18 on Amazon once. It's fast and snappy. currently it's going for £33 for the 4k version. Having both, there is little difference between the devices. NowTV also do their own roku powered device.
Subscription based streaming sites that all offer 2-4 weeks free for first timers

Netflix *According to comments the second month is free.
Amazon Prime You can either get Amazon video on its own, or take prime with other benefits. I strongly urge those who use Amazon for buying off their store front to use [https://smile.amazon.co.uk/] as there is literally no difference except everything you buy amazon donates to a charity of your choice.
Now TV (I believe it's 7 days)
Disney+
Britbox
Amazon channels. I believe you can get all these individually but Amazon offers them as channels bound to your prime account, and they are again either free for a couple weeks (again, take them, cancel instantly) or very cheap. I recently subscribed to Starzplay for £1 for 3 months. It has some good shows on it like Fringe, doom patrol. It also has channels like Curiosity stream and shudder

Steam This one is so obvious I didn't add it, but apparently many want me to. It is the best out there, and you can find almost everything, with fantastic deals.
Greenmangaming offers games cheaply. Again, not a grey market site (which are legal but unethical) and they sometimes do bundles.
GoG (Good old games) is a DRM free site run by CDPR, the makers of the Witcher 3 and Cyberpunk. They offer you games quite cheap and not needing DRM (such as Steam, Uplay etc which is less invasive versions of dodgy DRM from the olden days).
Epic Games Despite the controversy whether you care about their rivalry with valve, they offer free games ever week. Without ever having bought anything I have gained over 170 games. literally. Good games for the most part. They often give you £10 coupons as well.
Twitch Everyone knows twitch, but if you don't, it's a streaming service for watching gamers and girls with low cut tops accidentally bending over in front of the game. However, if you're signed up to prime, you get free games each month (and randomly between the set bunch).
Playstation Store Currently has January sales. Currently the free games for PS+ are for PS4: Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Greedfall. For the Ps5 it is Maneater
Games with Gold Bleed 2 and the King of Fighters XIII is available until Janurary 15th whilst little Nightmares is available until January 31st.

Gaming Subscriptions
Like the TV versions, you can sign up to these for a free trial (or very cheap). If you do sign up to only one at a time, it should keep you busy for a few months

Xbox Game Pass You can do this on both/either an Xbox or PC. If you sign up to the regular one, you can get a month (maybe three!) for £1. After you have done that, you can sign up to the premium version for 3 months at £1 a month. Most people know game pass, but you can download a large selection of games for free. The premium version gives you games with gold, allowing you to keep the games forever (but can only play with a subscription)
Ubisoft+ I'm not 100% sure if you get a trial or not. This allows a large collection of Ubisoft titles to play for £12.99 a month. Quite expensive but good if you like Ubisoft titles I guess.
EA Play EA's version. Goes by a ton of names I think, EA Access, EA Play, Origin Access etc etc. There's a couple of versions of this, and it is across all platforms (PS4/5, Xbox, PC) but not sure about the switch. I "think" the premium allows you to play on all platforms, while the cheaper one on a single platform, but I may be mistaken.
PS Now a once terrible service that is now actually very good. Allows you to download some Ps4 games to your PS4/5 and lets you stream a massive amount of Ps2/3/4 to your PC or playstation.

There's more like nvidia's service but you need the Shield device which is quite expensive. I'll leave it at that.
Audiobooks & Ebooks

Audible Not sure what the current deal is but if you are a prime member you can sign up for a trial and get a free Audiobook each month for 3 months. Some warhammer books are 48 hours long, 3 of those gives you a good 100+ hours of listening!
Comixology Another Amazon company, but lets you download some free comics I believe.
Marvel Unlimited No experience with this. ItFuckingWont wanted me to add it. A subscription service for Marvel.

Education

Sign Language BSL here No experience myself, suggested by n21brown and asked for a few times. Didn't know SL was so popular! Listed as "Pay what you can"
BBC's Bitesize here is apparently good for home learning. Again, no personal experience.

If you have prime you can get a FREE FIVE POUND GIFT CARD by literally just streaming a song from Amazon music (which is included in prime) here is the details According to the comments it's only for select people, but it's worth trying If the link doesn't work for you just google "Amazon £5 coupon music"
Now, these sorts of sites have been around for years, I haven't used any other than talkInsights which I must have signed up to 10-15 years ago. Basically they send you surveys and you answer them. They are confidential and don't ask for personal details in the survey. You need 2000 points and you get £20. During the pandemic they've slowed down but I probably get around £40 a year. Not much I know, but it's an email followed by a quick survey ticking boxes. Depending on your answer sometimes you get screened out, I'm not telling you to lie but just be consistent with your answers and you should be able to work out how to not get screened. Some emails are only worth 20 points, others 200. It's slow to get to the 2000 but very quick to just answer a few questions.
Apparently beermoneyuk is a good sub to make some pocket change with.
There is also matched betting. I have never done this, I don't have the patience but from what I've read, it's legitimate, it works and you can make a fair amount of cash from it so long as you do it correctly, and there's a ton of guides. I mention this because people stuck at home could get into it and as long as you're careful (I.E not entering in the wrong numbers) it's risk free AND it pisses off the betting shops. It seems people in comments have had success with it. Disclaimer A couple have complained about gambling. This arguably is not gambling. If you are susceptible to addiction do not do it. However, it's argued that there is no fun or buzz in this, and it's a very tedious and time consuming thing. Others argue you can't make the same money anymore (People were making thousands, now only hundreds if that). It's risk free providing you know what you're doing, the risks are user error, such as entering the wrong numbers. Someone pointed out that due to the lockdown, bets could potentially be cancelled due to sport stopping. So use on a side of caution. We're (mainly) adults so I'll leave it up just because this doesn't have the excitement of regular gambling.
Microsoft Rewards This is an easy way to make pocket change doing very little. Most people have a MS account. The rewards program offers you numerous ways to grab points, by playing free to play games, answering small questions (you don't even need to answer most of the time, just open the link and shut it) and by using bing and searching on it. I've gotten 20k points JUST by answering questions over a couple months. There are many rewards but you can grab a £5 gift card for 6k for example, or a month of game pass (and AFAIK you can make points playing the games)
Google rewards Someone mentioned this in the comments. I have not used it, so can not give any input on it. Sounds similar to TalkInsights which I linked. Google states "Complete short surveys while standing in line, or waiting for a subway. Get rewarded with Google Play or PayPal credit for each one you complete. Topics include everything from opinion polls, to hotel reviews, to merchant satisfaction surveys. We’ll notify you when a survey is waiting."

Duolingo Numerous people have suggested this So I haven't used myself. Thanks to OhHiGCHQ StephanieMecredy & Allorie_95

Work or volunteering where it is "unreasonable" to work from home. This includes work in someone else's home, such as that carried out by social workers, nannies, cleaners and tradespeople
Education, training, childcare and medical appointments and emergencies
Exercise outdoors (limited to once a day). This includes meeting one other person from another household in an open public space to exercise
Shopping for essentials such as food and medicine
Communal religious worship
Meeting your support or childcare bubble. Children can also move between separated parents Activities related to moving house

I want to add, if you are in danger you are also allowed (and must!) to get away from the situation for some reason, BBC seems to have missed this very important thing (or I am blind)

To flee the threat of harm or violence.*
CoronaVirus Symptoms
CoronaVirus government site You can check your location and how many cases here.
Worldometers Shows cases around the world.
Interactive UK Map Another easy to read map with cases in counties and local area's.
World Health Organisation

Support

FOR THOSE SHIELDING YOU CAN CONTACT THE ROYAL VOLUNTARY SERVICE. These people helped my mother with picking up her medicine from the chemist. They were very helpful and went out their way to keep in touch and do it immediately. (It's the only experience I have with them though)
_riotingpacifist wanted this links added, but I simply just don't have the time to vet and check all the suggestions here, so I will link as is:

Update:
Digital Art
These are Free

Krita Arguably the best in my opinion. It has a load of options, brushes and a decent UI. It works fantastic with a tablet.
Gimp This is a decent program but last I used, the UI was a pain, and it isn't so user friendly while misses features, but it works, and it is possible to do some incredible creations on it.
Medibang Paint This is slightly geared towards Comics and Manga. I really enjoy using this with my drawing Tablet. As far as I know, it also for regular tablets for Android/Ipad and is free.

LibreOffice This has most the average user would need to write their own books or to work from home. There's not a huge amount of difference between the two I'm linking (since I last used anyway) so it's more for preference.
Open Office You can pick this up here and again, like above it's just preference.

Assassination Classroom Complete Timeline

• The reaper takes on the son of the man he had just killed to be his apprentice
• Irina Jelavich is taken in by Lovro to become an assassin
• Gakūho Asano opens his crammschool
• One of Gakūho's students commits suicide. Principal Asano quites his job to reevaluate his teaching philosophies
• Gakūho Asano drives the men who drove his student to take his own life to a dangerous gambling addiction. In his spare time, he took karate lessons and beat a black belt on his 3rd day
• Principal Asano open Kunugigaoka Junior High
• The Reapers apprentice betrayes him, leading him to get caught and used for experimentation
• The reaper is experimented on, and slowly becomes something not human. He also meets Aguri Yukimura
• A rat used for testing becomes unstable and obliterates 75% of the moon. The reaper escapes and slaughters everyone in the testing facility, except for Yanagisawa and Yukimura. Yanagisawa escapes with his eye stabbed and Yukimura is impaled by a spear and starts bleeding out. The reaper fully transforms into a yellow octopus. The tentacles ask him what he wants, and he says he wants to be flawed and grow.
• Yukimura's sister witnesses her sisters death and blames the reaper for killing her. She takes a vile of tentacle seed and later dyes her hair and injects the tentacle seed into her neck. The tentacles ask what she wants, and she says revenge
• Yanagisawa, now disguised as Shiro, gives Itona Horibe the tentacle seed
• Akari Yukimura enrolls into Kunugigaoka under Kaede Kayano and gets transferred to the E-Class. There, she meets Nagisa Shioto and gives him the roll of main character (figuratively not literally)
• The reaper visits the government and claims to be the one who destroyed the moon. Here, he agrees to not destroy the Earth until next March as long as he is allowed to teach at Kunugigaoka Junior High class 3-E. After a failed assassination attempt, he threatened the to kill the students friends, family, or everyone else in the world if they attempt another irresponsible assassination attempt. Afterwards he is given the name Korosensei by Kaede Kayano
• Karma's suspension ends and he is sent to class 3-E
• Assasin Irina Jelavich is given a new target; Korosensei. After she fails, she decides to stay in the E class until Korosensei is killed
• During a class trip, an assassin by the name of Red-eye is given Korosensei as his new target. After failing and talking with Korosensei, he quits his job as an assassin. Korosensei hints at his past to Karasuma
•An A.I is given the directive of assassinating Korosensei. She is given the name Ritsu
• Shiro introduces Itona Horibe as Korosensei's brother, and they have a one on one fight that Korosensei wins
• A new agent from the ministry of defense named Takaoka comes to replace Karasuma. He quickly shows his violent side and challenges Karasuma to choose one of his students to try to kill him. Karasuma chooses Nagisa and he quickly defeats Takaoka. The principal fires Takaoka
• Shiro and Itona put their new assassination plan into action and fail
• Lovro teaches Nagisa an assassination trick
• Class 3-E wins a trip to an island where they will try their biggest assassination attempt on Korosensei.
• Class 3-E puts their plan into action and they fail due to Korosensei's absolute defense form
• Half of the class is poisoned by a mystery man who plans to kill Korosensei. The rest of the class decides to infiltrate the hotel and confront the mystery man who claims to have the antidote
• Inside, Irina distracts the gaurds and the class defeat 3 hired assassins. They confront the mystery man who is revealed to be Takaoka who wants to kill Korosensei and claim the bounty, but most importantly, get revenge on Nagisa
• Takaoka forces Nagisa to apologize to him, and then proceeds to blow up the antidote. Enraged, Nagisa threatens to kill Takaoka.
• Terasaka calms down Nagisa, and he uses the assassination technique taught to him by Lovro and defeats Takaoka. The others students are revealed to be perfectly fine by the hired assassins who tricked Takaoka into thinking the students were going to die
• Korosensei turned back into his regular octopus form
• Lovro is attacked by the reapers apprentice (who took over the name of the reaper) and is presumed dead
• Shiro and Itona attack Korosensei. After Intona fails, Shiro abandons him.
• Itona gets his tentacles removed and joins E Class. It is revealed when the tentacles asked what he wanted, he said he wanted to be strong
• Irina is rejected by Karasuma and storms off. She is later found by the reaper.
• The reaper threatens 3-E to come to a specific location so he can put his plan of assassinating Korosensei into action. If they don't he will kill Irina
• The reapers captures the students and Korosensei. Irina is revealed to be working with the reaper and Karasuma decides to fight back
• Karasuma defeats the reaper and Irina goes back to the E Class
• Nagisa's abusive home life is revealed
• After the E Class scores in the top 50 on exams, the principal challenges Korosensei and reflects on his past.
• Kaede Kayano attempts to kill Korosensei with her tentacles. She reveals her true colors
• Nagisa helps Korosensei remove her tentacles by kissing Kayano
• Shiro reveals himself as Yanagisawa accompanied by someone he calls "2.0" and Korosensei reveals his past
• Class 3-E is torn on saving and killing Korosensei; Mainly Nagisa (save) and Karma (kill). The class has a contest to solve this dispute. After remembering their past/friendship, Karma lets Nagisa win
• In hopes to receive information on how to save Korosensei , the class helps Karma and Nagisa get on a space shuttle and go up in space where information about the tests done on Korosensei is held on the ISS
• After receiving the information, the class learns there is a less than 1% Korosensei will self destruct and the cure is almost identical to the one Okuda made in episode 5. The class decides to continue trying to assassinate Korosensei
• After getting some pictures taken bt Korosensei for a school yearbook, the students head home, not knowing that the government is moving on with the final assassination project
• Korosensei, now trapped on the mountain, survives the first blast of the "Spear Of Heaven" and Yanagisawa and "2.0" sneak in before the the entire mountain is sealed off with an anti-tentacle barrier. The rest of the class go over to check it out, but they are bombarded with people trying to interview them, under the impression they were held hostage
• Karasuma gathers the children up, and tells them to stay out of this, but because of something he said earlier, Nagisa knows he doesn't mean that. The spear of Heaven will go off in two weeks time
• The class silences the guards and heads up tge mountain to see Korosensei for the final time
• The class meets up with Korosensei and they decide to give him a birthday. This is cut short by Yanagisawa and "2.0" who is revealed to be the reaper with tentacle seed. The reaper appears as a giant tentacles monster and is said to move at mach 40, 2 times greater than Korosensei's mach 20
• After some arguing and insults from the class, Yanagisawa injects himself with tentacle seed
• While watching the fight and seeing Korosensei is losing, Kayano goes to attack the reaper, but is impaled through the chest, in a similar way to her sister
• Nagisa carries Kayano's limp body and he along with the rest of the class get off the mountain before Korosensei, now enraged, uses his full power
• The blast sends Yanagisawa into the anti-tentacle barrier and he disintegrates
• The reaper meets the same fate, but reveals that when the tentacles asked what he wanted, he said he wanted to make his former teacher proud
• The students return to Korosensei, who is severely wounded and he heals Kayano. Weakened , Korosensei collapses. Tye students want to help him, but realize that because Korosensei is so unnatural and scary to the public, he has to die. Instead of leaving it to tye spear of heaven, all of tge students hold him down and Nagisa gets ready to stab him in the heart
• The class has one final rolecall, and Nagisa kills Korosensei. As Korosensei disintegrates into yellow light, the class, as well as Irina cry. Karasuma looks down in sadness and goes down the mountain to the government base
• All the students sit down in their classroom and sleep. In the night, the spear of Heaven went off, but they didn't realize it since it's only harmful to the one's with tentacles.
• Karasuma and tye government reward the children with their earned 10,000,000,000 Yen ($95,515,550)
I hope you enjoyed my timeli e of my all time favorite anime. If I missed something let me know. Thanks for reading

[Videogames] Zhengtu Online, The Original Sinner of free-to-play gaming and lootboxes

Hi everyone, this is my first contribution to HobbyDrama, I hope this is an entertaining read and also to the community's standards. Let's go!!
Brief glossary before we begin (and some foreshadowing)
MMORPG: massively multiplayer online role-playing game, MMO for short. A videogame genre that generally invites hundreds, or up to thousands, of players to share a space. Depending on the game, anything from general adventure to large-scale war to economy and politics can be simulated. I find it hard to believe that anyone reading this could possibly not know what this is but it's included anyway.
Electro-convulsive therapy: ECT for short, it is a form of treatment where electrodes are "carefully" hooked up to a person's head and a "precise" level of electric shock is delivered, in order to treat major psychiatric disorders. Developed in 1938 when most psychiatric treatments was in their infancy, it is still used today occasionally for serious cases of depression, mania, or psychoses. In its early days however, there were widespread claims of abuse associated with its use.
Pt1: The Root of all that is bullshit
Zhengtu Online (hereafter referred to as ZT) was an immensely popular MMORPG that was developed in China and primarily served a Chinese playerbase. Released in 2006, at its peak it boasted more 2 million players, which while not particularly impressive relative to World of Warcraft (8mil worldwide at the same time), was a truly insane amount of success in a gaming scene that was very much in its embryonic stage.
The game itself was an unimpressive Diablo-style top down fantasy setting, and its gameplay loop primarily revolved around improving your ability to kill various things, but what made it special was the overarching metagame: every player population (sharing a server) was divided into 10 kingdoms. Kings and generals were all individual players, and they dictated politics to their neighbors--primarily in the form of initiating player-vs-player (or PVP) warfare.
Most contemporary MMOs had an upfront price plus a monthly subscription fee. In China, such pricing models were mostly replaced by paying oney for a set amount of ingame playing time. Unlike all of them, ZT was completely free to play (F2P).
Free to play, however, meant pay-to-win: the best weapons and armor, and even leveling up your character, needed you to pay real money. Since so much of the game was focused on PVP, it also created an eternal arms race between players, each paying for the privilege of not being evaporated by a high level enemy.
The way they did this was unique at the time. While F2P online games had already seen their rise in South Korea, equipment was generally priced explicitly via in-game currency and bought in virtual shops. ZT fused this with the sweet, sweet taste of gambling: gear in the game was primarily obtained in loot boxes, and you had to pay for keys to open them.
It needs to be emphasized that gambling of any kind was illegal in China, but, in an eerie parallel of American CEOS in the future, ZT's developers said it wasn't gambling because, well, you weren't getting your money back.
By combining this with multiple other exploitative practices, such as providing a small amount of premium currency like a casino giving you a free bet on the house, or awarding special items to the player with the highest number of lootboxes opened in a day, ZT was making money like taking candy from a candy-hating baby, and made gaming history.
As far as what this means for gamers, this was Eve giving Adam the apple, Oppenhemier splitting the atom, Prometheus stealing fire, Caesar crossing the Rubicon, and goddamn Helen Keller signing "water".
If you play any kind of videogames today, you've stepped through the long shadow that ZT had cast. Zynga (developers of Farmville) would be founded in 2007 and focused exclusively on free games with real-money integration. Lootboxes made it into Team Fortress 2 in 2010, one of the first major western-developed games to include them.
Similar mechanics (with varying degrees of exploitative practices) came to FIFA in 2010, Mass Effect 3 in 2012, Counter-Strike in 2013, League of Legends in 2016, and NBA 2K in 2017, infecting every genre of gaming under the sun, including the most popular MMO, World of Warcraft. As an aside, corporate defense of lootboxes in Star Wars Battlefront II also led to the most downvoted Reddit comment of all time.
Finally someone speaks out
The System, an article published in the Chinese newspaper Southern Weekly in 2007, was a hard-hitting expose on the exploitive practices of ZT. It chronicled the rise and fall of a gamer who accidentally becomes the monarch of one of these in-game Kingdoms, her addiction to the game, and final disillusionment when she realized that in-game player behaviour was being explicitly manipulated by its designers for the purpose of creating addicts and selling more lootbox keys.
The whole article is worth a read, even if it is sensationalist in a way that immediately tells you the writer was clearly a failed novelist of some kind - describing virtual destruction with the kind of prose most people would consider and then discard for a gang rape, for starters. But it had gotten its point across. It created an explosive backlash against the game in China, and was even translated into English and propagated across gaming forums.
The fallout
In an act of censorship usually reserved for the CCP government, this article--including its English translation--began to be scrubbed from the internet, with speculation pointing to the immensely powerful CEO behind ZT. I mean, who else could it be, right?
This article would light the fire of China's first moral panic regarding videogames. In its wake, swift legislation would be enacted regarding internet gaming addiction as well as online proxy gambling. ZT would heed the new laws and remove its lootbox mechanics in the following years and many other similar games followed suit.
Most tragically, the panic (which, to be fair, was fueled by a very real problem) allowed unscrupulous characters such as Yang Yongxin, vice chairman of a hospital in Shandong province, to create "internet addiction centres". With its legitimacy established by a docuseries ("Fighting the Internet Monster") on the state-run television channel CCTV, these centres charged terrified parents exorbitant prices in order to keep teens by force in, essentially, private hospitals and asylums, subjecting them to inhumane conditions and abusive ECT in order to "cure" them of their disease. It was estimated that Yang earned the equivalent of more than $6million USD from his addiction centre in the short space of 2 years. While his centre was eventually closed by state order, he received no punishment of any kind.
As for ZT, it limped on until 2018. A mobile game reboot was made in 2015. A tie-in fantasy movie was released in 2020. it was not very good.
~~~~~~
Addendum: how we got here: Of Mice and levers
In the 1950s, an American scientist named BF Skinner discovered the following: when mouse is put in a box with a small lever that, when pressed, dispenses a food pellet, they will quickly learn to start pressing on the lever as fast as possible. If you then stop the food from dispensing, the mouse will lose interest quickly after pressing a few times and seeing no food coming out.
If, however, you hooked up the lever to dispense food at random intervals, the mouse will be practically glued to the lever and hammer on it nonstop, sometimes long after they become full, and long after any food has been dispensed.
This discovery, known as variable outcome operant conditioning, formed the foundation of our understanding of addiction and gambling. Skinner would go on to try and fail to make bombs guided by pigeons, but we're not interested in that here. His research tool--the Skinner Box--would become a descriptor you may have come across when discussing exploitive game mechanics.
Summary
Once upon a time, a game combined the random outcome of videogaming with real-money gambling. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Missed the Weed boom? Worry not, there is another one coming.

Repent

Verum Weekly: Summary of Streamed Games of the Week (February 4th, 2021)

Hail Travelers,
Welcome to Verum Weekly. A weekly post to summarize all the game sessions that happen in the week prior. Hope you like it.

Thursday

The Helix of Fate (Lrret1064)

Azalon, Archmage of Glies, stands before Los, former Archmage of Kalkatesh, and the two prepare to duel. Azolon comments on his old mentor's current status as a Servant of the Enemy. In response, Los tells him he now knows the truth of the universe; there is no end to this because it happened many times before. He believes this is the only way to ease the suffering. Not wanting to waste time chatting, Azolon starts off the fight by firing off a Prismatic Spray, testing what reaction Los will have to it. Los attempts to block, but it scuffs his cloak. In retaliation, he sends Meteors towards Azolon, and the Gliesian gets his robes scuffed in return. Los then pulls out two wands and fires a rain of Violet Magic Missiles. Using the druidic magic in his Staff, Azolon creates a shield that cleanses the Missiles of their Violet energy and sends them back to Los, breaking one of the Servant’s defensive wards.
Los then uses Violet energy to make his arm gigantic in an attempt to crush Azolon, but he sees it coming and Misty Steps right before the arm touches him. Azolon then disparages Los for abandoning his role as Archmage and relying upon the power of the Enemy that so far hasn't even been able to touch him. Los proves him wrong by shooting a laser out of his eyes that hits Azolon across his face, breaking his glasses and scarring him. Los quickly tries to use his arm to crush Azolon again, but he instinctively Vanishes and dashes towards Los while charging a Disintegration Ray through his Staff, which tears open a wound across Los arm. Seeing an opportunity, Los uses the blood from the wound to create Blood Spikes to pierce Azolon, but before they can connect Azolon heals Los’ wound, causing the Blood Spikes to turn into a harmless splash of water.
Azolon attempts to cast a Fireball directly in Los face, but his opponent is faster and grabs Azolon’s wrist, redirecting the Fireball and pulling him in for a headbut. While Azolon is disoriented, Los channels a Vampiric Touch and attempts to strangle him. Azolon drops his Staff to try to break free, but Los is stronger and breaks another of Azolon's wards. Thinking quickly, Azolon summons back his Staff to stab Los. Los uses their position in flight to reorient themselves and make the Staff miss, and he starts to strangle Azolon, draining his energy. Azolon however uses his druidic training to cast Stone Fist and smashes it in Los’ face, breaking free. He then taunts him while casting Mental Prison, baiting Los into meeting his gaze, which breaks through one of the Servant’s wards.
With Los distracted, Azolon flies in close once more to finish the fight by turning Los’ Flesh to Stone. However Los recovers fast enough to use his cloak to block the attack and counters with a fist charged with Violet energy. Remembering his research on the Colors, Azolon attempts to challenge the blow by casting Prismatic Spray, connecting it with Los’ attack. The energy expands and blows them both back. The resulting explosion chars Los arm, and the bit of Violet energy that reached Azolon’s right hand removes it from existence. Azolon keeps his composure and takes the opportunity while Los is still recovering to charge his Staff with druidic power. Los summons a Shield that clashes against the empowered Staff.
Suddenly Alexander flies up through the sphere, wielding a blade made of Negatia, a material that seals magic. With the force of the catapult that sent him flying, Alexander slashes at Los and easily breaks through the magic defenses. Not letting the surprise go to waste, Azolon manipulates the wind to blow Alexander closer to Los, making the slash go up from his chest, across his face, and through his right eye. At the apex of his flight, Alexander apologizes for interrupting and gives Azolon words of encouragement to finish off his foe before falling back down out of the sphere.
Azolon thanks his old friend for his assistance and disses Los, saying that serving the Enemy made him lose any connection to people like that, which makes him a shell of a man. Los admits Azolon is right about those things but wrong in other ways, because “life isn't fair”. He then casts False Torch, creating a Shard of Oblivion and placing it into his empty right eye socket. Now empowered, Los fires an Obliteration Ray. Azolon uses his Staff to block the attack, but Los charges the Ray with even more Violet. Azolon, knowing that he cannot handle the might of that attack, tries to redirect it away from him. However as he turns to redirect it, his Staff breaks and the Ray shreds his back. Azolon asks Los what made him like this, and he answers that he saw the truth. "The wheel must turn, one way or another; this is one is the best way — the only way.” Los fires another Obliteration Ray. Knowing he cannot handle that attack again, Azolon pulls out a ring that Los enchanted and tosses it at the attack. Since Los enchanted the ring, it is soulbound to him, so the Violet energy is absorbed back into the ring. It flies back to Azolon, pulsing with Violet power — power that could be used by him. However, without hesitation Azolon tosses the ring aside, and it instantly evaporates.
Seeing how easily Azolon rejected all that power, Los is dumbfounded. Azolon disparages Los again, asking what worth is there in existing if it means giving into something that doesn't care about him and will only use him as a tool. He asks Los how he could give himself so freely to the lies that spawned from madness of a being that doesn't even belong in their reality. Azolon reminds him of the man he was once before and the man he could have been today. Los begins to weep, remembering who he used to be. He then suddenly grabs his false eye and rips it out. Azolon casts Dominate Person, and the spell cleanses Los of the Violet's control, returning his eye to the shade of blue it was before. Using the hold he has on Los now and his studies regarding the nature of the Violet, Azolon attempts to put a Geas on Los to completely remove the Violet’s enchantment.
However as the magic ripples, Azolon sees the Herald flying in the sky. As he gazes upon the comet, instead of seeing stone and ice, he sees silently screaming faces burning in Violet fire. On top of the comet he sees a silhouette within the Violet light, who begins to speak: "Wise wizard, now you will see the truth, just as he did!" The Herald begins to assault Azolon's mind, but Azolon uses all of his knowledge on the Violet to resist its corruption. Instinctively Azolon uses his signature Color Spray, firing it at the Herald, and he breaks free of its assault on his mind. He returns to the fight, reaches back into the magic over Los’ mind, and pulls out a Violet Shade, giving Los control of his own body once more. Azolon shouts, "Now Los!" Los turns around and fires one last spell, Annihilation Sphere, and grabs the Shade, tackling it into the Sphere. Los gazes back at Azolon with a look that simply says "It's your turn" and disappears along with the Shade.

Friday

The Tearing Veil Ep. 17 (RoyalCaster)

The party leaves the room where they encountered the evil weapon. Eventually they are led to a room with a statue of Vavren. They move the two hands of the statue together in a praying position, and the walls shift, opening an entrance to a room that seems like it serves as a place to help people escape. They enter and hear someone scribbling past the door. They bait the person by creating a sound and putting a flyer of the Unwise Six under the door. While he goes to investigate, the party passes by him under the veil given to them by Falaael.
They decide that they should take care of Falaael’s task first and later deal with freeing the designated prisoners. They head upstairs and find themselves in another room which has another pair of stairs that takes them to a courtyard. Climbing even more stairs they eventually get to the roof and find a dais with statues of the White Pantheon on it. Vim holds the orb given to him amongst the statues. Angorn recites a prayer, and the orb begins to float and dissipate, forming a smaller statue of Falaael that takes its place amongst the others. Nidhogg suggests to Angorn that they should desecrate the other statues in favor of Falaael. After an hour they head out to hopefully find a map of the prison or to get an idea where they can find the prisoners.
They sneak past a multitude of guards, inciting violence within the guards’ ranks to cause a distraction. They take advantage of the situation and get into an office room where they take the prisoner manifest containing the whereabouts of the prisoners. They find prisoner 48; at first he seems quite apprehensive, but he accepts help from the group. He offers his help in getting the other prisoners out; he can conjure a door to teleport him and everyone else out of the prison. They ask him to go to the rooftop and wait for them. They continue to the opposite side of the cell floor and decide to split up. Vim, Angorn, and Wisp see a guard standing in front of the cell of prisoner 34, so they head to prisoner 17 instead. They find a woman covered in the markings of the skinwalkers. Her cell’s bars are especially thick and cross themselves in a lattice-like pattern. She also wears a silver waist belt that she claims is bothering her. They open her doors, but she does not exit. She taps in front of her, revealing an transparent forcefield, but Vim touches and removes it. She exits and transforms, revealing her drider form. Prisoner 17 mentions that they must free another prisoner not on their list: prisoner 19. She leads them to the warden’s chambers where prisoner 19 is being held.
Meanwhile, Nidhogg, Raber, and Flamewrath stay behind to keep watch. Flamewrath slicks the staircase behind them with oil to safeguard the others and eventually guard come by and fall. Other guards come in and they find a note planted by Flamewrath claiming the prank to be the work of the prison’s flower club. The guards become furious and go away to reprimand them.
Back to the other group, they find a small person hanging from the ceiling, encased in bandages. They help her down and free her of the wrappings, revealing a young girl marked with ritualistic markings and her mouth sewn shut. Vim cuts the stitches from the girl’s mouth, and she takes deep greedy breaths. She thanks them, and the room shimmers with magic. They tell the two prisoners of the plans for getting them to escape, and the two women declare they want to help. They explain that the girl they freed was the actual prisoner 17 and that her voice can command anyone to do what she says. Using her ability, they plan to command the guard that was at prisoner 34’s cell.
The group comes across the guard that was patrolling the area. Prisoner 17 commands him to go away, and he magically obeys. They find prisoner 34 and discover that he is an expert forger and promiscuous deviant. They take everyone to the roof where prisoner 48 is waiting for them. The area darkens, and Oloken’Hai speaks to them. Now that the last bit of their quest is upon them, Oloken’Hai will distract those that would stop them and will put them on their way to defeat the corruption that holds the White Pantheon in their grasp. Nidhogg asks Oloken’Hai why he decided to choose him for his divine spark, but Oloken’Hai claims that it was him who chose himself. As the door opens, it is time for them to enact Oloken’hai’s will.

Saturday

Shadow of Tyre Ep. 26 (RoyalCaster)

Raost splits off from the group to find Seren, asking her to come with him for a moment. They walk off together and stop when they get to the rock where Toot first prayed to Hizigori. Roast approaches the rock and exhales. He pulls out his notebook and opens it to take out the Clementia flowers he got from Falcon’s grave in their wing. He untangles them and starts to tell Seren how she remained a constant in his life, which means a lot to him, and no matter what happens to her or him, he wants to be with Seren forever. He offers the flower to her and asks her to marry him. At first Seren is silent, but looking down at him she says that marrying him would make her a hypocrite. However, just this once she will be okay with that title. While hugging, Seren pushes him into her chest to show him that her heart is not beating anymore since her Dephtar transformation. She mentions that she still does not know what happened on Azengolt that made her like this. Raost however starts sweating and recommends that they should probably talk with Toot.
They find Toot and ask him if he could marry them, but they also ask about what exactly happened on Azengolt. As Toot explains the intention of his actions, Seren is seething but contains her feelings. Upon hearing this, Xetor pulls Raost aside for some wisdom. He warns him of the tribulations of being married, even more so with how incompatible their forms are. He recalls his own marriage and mourns the brief stint he had with his wife as she was taken by a sickness, but he also remarks that the bliss of being with your loved one outweighs the sorrow. Xetor asks if they would use the rings of him and his wife, handing him the pair. They are far larger than human-sized rings, so they'll wear them as armbands.
As Seren’s honorary dad, Mad Morc gives Raost the dad talk. Marrying Seren means he becomes family, so Morc wants to indict him into the Tops, and Raost happily agrees. Also, Morc discusses the contingency that comes with being with Seren; one day Raost might have to put her down if she loses control. Raost steels himself, so Morc gives his blessing.
Both Seren’s and Raost’s parties gather, and a few more of the people of the camp come by. With Toot leading the ceremony, they speak their vows. As Toot pronounces them husband and wife, they kiss each other. Seren gives Raost a beaded necklace from before she changed, and he gives her a small mirror he got while exploring the temple where they found Xetor; it has a crude drawing of both Raost and Seren on it.
After receiving their items from the Vega and the Gambler Black, the party catches Zacharias up on what they are supposed to do in the Labyrinth. As they enter the labyrinth again, they appear at the entrance of the third floor, the stairs leading up to the destructed second floor behind them. They venture into the halls until they come across a room with seven statues and a pool of mercurial substance; a gigantic hand statue reaches out from behind it, a faded crystal in its palm. Moe uses his cyclopean eye to discern the secrets and sees various events that take place across the timeline of Kalkatesh. Toot messes with one of the statues and accidentally pops it open. Moe recognizes this as an Angel of Band he saw on Eldar Sharkai; however, it seems more like an imitation, as it misses the moving screens and the spikes around the place where the head goes means it’ll probably kill the controller.
They also find tapestries of the events that Moe saw at the Altar, recreated with thread and needle. Investigating more closely, they seem to depict various accounts of fate, but their falsehood is evident. As they move closer, the composition shifts, and it becomes clear that these tapestries are prototypes of what Tyre was trying to create: artificial fate. To the right of the room, Zacharias examines a portal emanating a purple aura. Getting closer, he begins to feel ill, unable to understand what it is. Though everyone feels the same uneasiness, Raost tosses a pebble into the portal, but nothing seems to happen. They decide to avoid it and walk deeper into the room, finding stone containers containing Dust. Zacharias recognizes it as the purest form of life energy, the runoff of the silver cord that keeps you attached to yourself when one is Astral Projecting. Ahst and Raost pocket a bag each and join Toot and Moe at the southern end of the room. They come across a silver chest; Moe looks inside with Latos Zatar and sees a spectral screaming in silent agony. Ahst casts Silence around the chest, and as Raost opens it and looks at it with his soul vision, he sees it is an experiment, a distilled memory to recreate a soul. They decide to close the chest and leave it be.
Moe sees the Dust the others found and examines it by licking it. The magic of the Dust infuses Moe with magical powers and a crippling addiction. They move on and find an aisle full of sarcophagi. Raost looks at them all with soul vision and sees a soul in each one of them. Further down the hall they find two significant tapestries; the group is unable to discern their meaning, but they feel like they have seen it before. They gather that the one on the left is the old god of luck and that the other was supposed to be the god of portals. Using his cyclopean vision, Moe is able to see the remnants of two lost deities, the result of Tyre’s experiment of stealing a moment from a god.

Sunday

Shattered Crowns S3 Ep. 10 (Lrret1064)

Meena leads the party into the facility. The walls are bloody, flesh is stretched across the walls and ceiling, and there are corpses wrapped in body bags and stuffed in containers. Anthem warns Huck that they should only touch the stuff when needed. Ikkar asks Bethany if she's okay as she is strangely silent, as if she's seeing something the others can’t, but she seems unwilling to share what she sees. Guy asks Meena why they are here and she answers it’s to "save them from Home." However, she doesn't know where the item she needs is, only that it's a big oval made of stone and steel.
They detect a strange noise behind one of the doors. Scrumpo suddenly kicks the door open, awakening the creatures behind it. The undead with giant mouths start attacking the party, but Ikkar is able to Destroy the Undead to clear a large number of them. Iron Pipe uses a Wall of Force to stop the rest from swarming the party, but a large one flanks them from behind. Quick on his feet, Ikkar Banishes it. As the biggest threat is gone, Meena suddenly reappears and instructs everyone to leave the room. As they leave, she tells Iron Pipe to remove the Wall. The creatures flood the room, but Meena flips a lever that ignites a fire through the grating below.
Meena then leads the party quickly around the facility, like she's familiar with the place. She guides them to an office that contains more corpses in body bags and points out a book on top of one of the corpses, saying it belonged to the leader. Iron Pipe reads the book with the help of Drifter Sai’s and Meena's translation; it’s an experiment log on testing methods of movement or transportation, but none of the subjects were able to survive the experiment as something called ‘invitalisation’ caused their death. Meena explains that invitalisation turns the subject’s body inside out. Ikkar expresses his worry that it might happen to them, but Meena says she knows another way. Huck starts to get suspicious of Meena and senses her desperation; she doesn't fully believe what she's saying. Huckleberry then waits for everybody to leave and tells Ikkar what he noticed. Ikkar asks Huck to distract the others so he can cast Augury. Ikkar asks Sekelcuse if they should continue to follow Meena, but another being answers instead: "Woe."
They continue through the facility and approach a strange room. Meena immediately walks in and starts looking in a dresser, as if she knows where to look. Huck takes this chance to inform the others what he saw, and Ikkar tells about his Augury. However, they decide that they don't know who to trust, but that they should stay on guard. While this is happening, Meena pulls out a journal containing sketches and writing of a younger Meena progressing through her life; in the middle is a keycard which Iron Pipe takes. They continue to follow Meena as she approaches a big metal door. Pipe swipes the key card, opening the door. Meena suddenly rushes inside saying “Save you.” The party cautiously walks into the room after Meena.
They see a big metal structure that fits the description of what Meena described. Meena runs up to the metal structure and places her hand on it, repeating “Save you.” Ikkar notices that Meena is looking sickly and asks what the machine does, to which she responds that it “makes people Home better, different, makes door.” She then walks up to a console and enters a code, and a voice greets her as Dr. Jeckin. Ikkar asks Meena if she’s dying. The voice answers that she isn't alive, and Meena confirms it by pulling back her shirt showing that she’s mostly wires. She then points to the back of the machine where they see the letters ‘YU’. She explains that it means Yolnas Unvas, ‘Second Chance’, and that it refers to the machine. Ikkar asks the voice what the purpose is of the machine. It explains that the machine is a last ditch effort to save the Ragdarians by sending embryonic sacks to a different planet to repopulate, but no destination has been given yet. Meena expresses her desire to send the machine to Maltos and makes the party promise to launch it. She then limps toward the machine and pulls out a wire from inside her and puts it into the machine as she starts to lose her light. She thanks the party, and her body falls limp. Everyone realizes that Meena contained the history of the planet and is giving the machine that knowledge to pass on.
Guy asks the voice how to break the Covenant of Death, but it says that information is classified. Trying to fill in the password, they look through the books they took to search for clues; the password ‘Jekin’ let’s them access the files. The voice gives them two options, launching the machine and serum integration. They recognize the serum from one of the books they found; it is able to stave off death. Guy volunteers to go first, thinking it will turn him into a full immortal vampire, and the console injects him with the serum. However, it cures Guy of his dampirism. Ikkar goes next, and it makes him feel younger. When Huck takes it, he feels Anthem’s connection lessen as inside his mind palace Anthem appears as an angry black horse stuck inside a stable. When Scrumpo takes it, he gains a full afro. When Pipe takes it, his augments become more part of him, making him more like a cyborg. While Pipe is distracted, Ikkar lights his pipe and uses Thaumaturgy to burn away the bird suit. When everyone has taken the serum, they ask the voice how it can help them defeat Death. It explains that it injects nano constructs into them that make them immune to instant death effects. The party gets ready to launch the Second Chance to Maltos and asks Drifter Sai if they can follow it. Sai confirms it is possible and that it greatly reduces the fuel required to reach the planet by siphoning the residual energy from the Second Chance.

Monday

Heart of Tyre Ep. 25 (av5hadow)

Shortly after Seren’s marriage, Morc and Neve decide to get married immediately and travel to the Trees of Marriage. Amaris, Braktor, and Vizier Lozenkor show up. Seren starts the Orc wedding as the shaman, and the couple makes their vows. Morc reveals that Neve has shown him that hope is more than just survival, and he expresses his desire to grow old with the changeling. Neve recounts their journey since the beginning; Morc was always there, a pillar of emotional support. She vows to stand and fight alongside the half-orc. After Seren affirms that the two will uphold their marriage responsibilities, the two bite each other's hands. The wedding moves on to the bouquet-tossing event; while Amaris, Ozzie, and Braktor are distracted by each other, the Vizier and Ives reach out. Ives however is quicker than the Vizier whose composure is gone for the first time as he eats the dirt. Ives is confused as he acted on instinct, so he gives the bouquet to the Vizier. As wedding gifts, the Tops receive a lot of gold from Braktor and Amaris. Morc carries Neve to a tent, and they fade into black. Seren thanks the Vizier for his efforts and wishes him happiness with the one who will do the same. He voices his doubts but gathers the courage to tell Azalon the truth.
Derok spots Xetor and Ili’ith next to the Oracle’s Well and greet them. The three talk, revealing that Derok is a first generation Vega and is from the Vegan Isles. After years of not knowing himself, Derok Dranf finally finds a home. The Vega teach him the true pronunciation of his last name and reveal that his clan was known for staff creation. They are also willing to help the party upgrade their gear.
Derok asks the Azengoltians for advice on fighting the Depthar. Alice gives her wrapped silver chalice to him, saying that silver is effective against the Depthar; they could melt it down to coat their weapons with the silver. Braktor tells Derok that the Vega might have materials that are infused with emotion, which are effective against the Depthar as well. However, augmenting gear with this material will forgo any other Vegan upgrades. Seren, Ives, and Derok go to a now disheveled tent to inform the newlyweds about the augmentations. Neve decides to forgo her armor augmentation to receive an anti-Depthar shortsword.
Seren requests an audience with the Eldar and Letol. She offers Depthar samples to Letol, but he immediately refuses. He begins to berate the Brass Queen, but the Azengoltian Eldar stops him. Letol once again gives his warnings about the Depthar, but he accepts the blood samples. He then expresses his wish of being wrong about the creature, but after being in so many similar situations, he doesn’t want to gamble. Letol thanks the creature, stating that he’ll free the pure innocent soul that is controlling its actions if it exists.
Shortly after the Tops leave, Letol addresses the Azengolt group. He asks for their future plans. Azalon asked them for their help to contain and fight the Depthar on Glies. Alice asks if Letol will come, but he says that someone needs to guide Kalkatesh. He then says that no matter where they go, the group is always welcome to wherever Letol calls home, for “together, they survived what Iron and Sorrow could throw at them.”
Alice provides some supplies to the Tops and tells them the Depthar can adapt to anything. Archibald suggests to cycle their attacks and to leave the anti-Depthar weapons for the final blow. Morc then takes off his pilgrim hat he got from Zorikal, wanting to activate the rune. He wishes to test it. Everyone backs away, except for Hackne who identifies the rune as a divine Word of Recall. The destination is anyone’s guess, so Morc doesn’t touch it. Seren walks away as the Tops discuss who should hold the portal stone in case she goes rampant. The current holder, Derok, says that it doesn’t matter as she’ll read his mind. Braktor gives his group’s stone to Neve to be used as a distraction.
The Tops return to the first floor of their wing, finding themselves in their starting location. As they head towards the Flesh Refiner, Seren takes a new nurse’s outfit in her current size, and Neve gives her Breathless Amulet to Morc who is vulnerable to the fog that will be released. On their way, they hear the familiar stomps in the main room behind them. The Tops configure the Refiner. The party waits out in a room as they have undone the seals on 120 creatures. Ives hears sounds of battle, and Seren feels pain and chaos. During this time, Morc attunes to the Amulet.
“Theta protocol initiated. Releasing cleanse.” Green fog fills up the room and affects the now Depthar Seren, so she puts on the nurse’s mask. The party immediately heads off to the main room where the fog is much thinner; they see environmental damage and viscera covering the path. As they enter the main room, FCO walks underneath the archway. It gazes at each Top member, and its sight lands on the Brass Queen.
A horrifying screech marks the start of the fight.
Before the Tops can get into position, FCO rushes down Neve. Its arm barely misses, but FCO poisons Neve with Hypoxia. Derok, Morc, and Illan enter the melee. The Hypoxia spreads among the melee fighters via Life Pulse. FCO banishes Derok with a Maze-like ability, and Illan gets destroyed. FCO reaps the poison in him and places all the stacks on Seren.

Tuesday

Weal and Woe (No Session)

Soul of Tyre Ep. 26

The party uses their newly acquired money to buy better equipment. Alexander gets a Vacuum Edge Sheath which gives the Negatia Blade a chance to destroy spell slots or mental attributes of his enemies. Braktor buys a Weaver Staff augment that empowers its attack and adds thunder damage. Hackne gets an Anointed Court Mage Robes of Temperance which gives her more defense against curse effects and gives her allies advantage against her spells. Ozzie buys the Armor of the Autumn Assassin which gives him more poison damage and can turn him invisible. Belanovan decides to save more money to see if he can get a better item. Braktor also attunes to the Ancient Ring of Regeneration which was taken from Tyre’s Drop. When they’re done shopping, Gailen informs them of the current Wendigo situation. While the party was away, it seemed that the wendigos had united under a king. They are now considered a rising civilization, and Gailen hopes to create diplomatic relations with them. The party agrees to talk to the wendigo ambassador to see what is going on.
As they travel to the contact point at the Rotting Wound, they spot a plateau surrounded by wendigo guards. An ashen guard approaches and leads them to the wendigo ambassador. While walking towards the ambassador, the party sees archaic stones floating around a well of shadow. Eventually, a wendigo speaks to them and introduces themself as Volos. The party walks towards Volos while Alexander looks into the well of shadow, noticing that it is a portal to the Dream Realm; here Inu’s strand should be planted. Volos explains that this portal was already built when they arrived, but the wendigos plan to do a ritual on it so that they can get energy to fuel their kingdom. Belanovan assumes that this energy allowed Volos to speak, but the diplomat corrects him that wendigos have always been able to talk, they just had no reason to.
Volos explains that his nation has been watching Gailen’s Gate and he praises the settlement’s altruism. Belanovan asks who the wendigo king is, but Volos declines his request as people can use the king’s name to harm them and their nation. Belanovan follows up by asking how they can sustain their kingdom and Volos shows them the wendigo’s grand scheme. It is known that wendigos can only gain sustenance from consuming humanoids. However, there is an exploit: If they can use the dreams of humanoids as a spice, they can gain nutrients from livestock and not resort to cannibalism. Belanovan asks how long the king has been in power and Volos replies that they have been the leader for a long time. They and the nation only came into prominence now because they wish to help the fight against the Enemy so that their race can gain tolerance from other nations.
The party contemplates using the strand of Inu; they do not know its exact effect, but they do know it will cause massive changes to the wendigos. Hackne interjects by worrying about the adverse effects of taking other dreams. Belanovan then hypothesizes that Negatia could possibly stop the effects of their curse. They test the hypothesis, but Volos vomits; the Negatia has no effect. As the party studies Volos on his truthfulness, they can see that he is a skilled diplomat, but he’s not lying. However, there is a slight sense of desperation in his tone.
Still unsure, Belanovan asks what the wendigo's plan is. They plan to build settlements in the barren wasteland of the Badlands that will start the foundation of their nation. Belanovan follows up by asking how the wendigos will increase their population. Volos pauses, fear emanating from him. He responds that they are willing to convert the destitute of other nations. This worries Alexander, so he asks Volos if he feels guilty about converting others, as it is guilt that transforms beings into wendigos. Volos does not answer the question, but strain can be seen on his face. He then reveals that he knows that Braktor is a Weaver, a class that counters the undead. Braktor assures Volos that he is not biased against the wendigos because they are still beings. Ozzie proposes to be their ambassador for the Dream realm, but Volos wishes to show the strength of his nation and wants to be the one to talk. Belanovan wishes to talk directly to their king, and Volos accepts this request.
Volos contacts his king and allows them to talk through him. Another voice comes out of Volos’ body and introduces itself as the wendigo king. It is revealed that they are actually a half-wendigo. It was in their search trying to find their origin that they found the well and desired to make a nation for the wendigos. Belanovan wishes to actually meet the king and learn why they are a half-wendigo, and Alexander asks if they even want the curse to be removed. The king responds that he wishes to find a way to remove the curse of wendigos while keeping themselves alive; the current way of removing the curse results in death. The party offers alternatives to the wendigos, such as using their own dreams or living in the Dream Realm, but the king tells them that those paths won’t bear any fruit.

Wednesday

The Herald's Call Ep. 12 (AsAlternateAsItCanBe)

The battle continues. They learn that Nojack is able to Wild Shape into animals using his Ki, that Vida fights with poison that she’s able to strengthen by hurting herself, and that Urien utilizes multiple stances to fight: Commander, Vanguard, and Desperate. It is also revealed that Urien is their leader; if they’re able to deal with him, it seems it will stop the ritual.
Vida gets knocked unconscious by Riku’s double Scorching Ray, followed up by a hit by Zada’s morning star, which brings her close to death. Archael sees that the Violet ritual circle is getting stronger over time and that it is absorbing Vida’s blood; it seems that the more people are killed, the faster the ritual is completed. Despite this revelation, the party decides to finish Vida off as Arienne draws first blood. Boris predicts that the party will attack again the next round, gaining additional damage to his Smite should he be correct. Meanwhile, Urien decides to attack Zada, allowing Archael to hit him with a critical Smite. Analyzing the situation, Urien throws away his two greatswords and pulls the third from his back. The sword starts to glow with unstable Violet energy; Violet Death is possible.
Seeing the desperation of their enemies, the party decides to finish this quickly. Zada uses her Soulfire ability to refresh everyone else’s and uses Apholios to knock Boris unconscious. Archael attempts to disarm Urien with a Clash, and with the power of Glory on his side, he severs Urien’s arm and the sword falls to the ground. Arienne then uses her whip to fling the sword outside the room to prevent Urien from taking it. Midas sees that the sword is the real key to the ritual, not Urien, and he picks up the sword to attempt to stop the ritual completely. However, as he picks up the sword, Violet flames lash out and try to corrupt him, but Midas resists the temptation and holds his ground. He is faced with two choices: either seal the ritual or allow it to continue and summon the Violet Servant. If he chooses the latter, the party will be able to ambush the Violet Servant and deal a massive blow to the Enemy. Midas decides to hold the decision until the combat is over. Azylea summons Asuna to bring the knocked-out Boris away from the battle. Unfortunately, Boris stands up and strikes Asuna with an empowered Smite. The spider gets hit so hard that Azylea sees the statue crack just from that blow. Meanwhile, Urien once again attempts to Clash with Archael using his normal greatswords and aims for his eyes, but once again he fails. With the momentum on his side, Archael uses Shining Assault to knock Urien out. The battle ends with Arienne rushing towards Nojack and Boris, knocking them out in the same turn. Midas then kills them, gaining three Soul Coins, and starts the discussion about what they should do with the ritual.
The party decides that they will ambush the Violet Servant. They’ll be fighting it at their full strength and will know all of its abilities immediately when it spawns. In addition, the party can seal two of its abilities at the start of the fight. But before the final fight of the campaign starts, they are granted level 5.

Steel and Silence Ep. 5

Before the party heads into the ruins, Rev’lis Wisp breaks out from its body and begins to transform. It transforms into a Veld with cracks in its skin and shining with colors. After the familiar introduces himself to the party and Rev’lis names him Shiny, the Lord of Blades teleports them to the ruin.
They arrive at one of the many world roads in Steton. Rev’lis flies ahead and scouts what seems to be an abandoned village. As she looks around the town, Rev’lis finds a stonehenge in the center which glows with a Violet light. She quickly flies back to the party and informs them of what she saw. The party cautiously heads into the town and searches the nearby houses. In one house, Shiny notices that whoever left the village, they left long ago and in a hurry.
At the door of another house, Vaeri finds some dragon scales on the ground. She and Terryn enter the house and find a broken blade on a table. As Vaeri walks closer, she notices draconic writing on the blade, reading “Death to the false serpents.” She identifies it as a dragonslayer weapon. Meanwhile, Terryn searches the house and finds a discarded cloak from the Steton Striders. The more Terryn looks around, the more articles of clothing from the Steton Striders she finds. Vaeri tells Terryn to bring the rest of the party here to show them the Strider clothing. They theorize that the resident of this house was trying to hide from the rest of the town that they were a monster hunter. Vaeri takes the broken blade and the party continues their search in the village.
As they walk by a crossroad leading toward the stonehenge, Zara suddenly feels the call of the warrior. She follows the call, and it takes her to an entrance to the Hall of Heroes. Zara enters the gate and finds herself on a rainbow bridge, but the line of violet is missing. Eventually, Zara enters the Great Hall and is greeted by the Throne of War, a stone chair and the leader of the Hall of Heroes. She explains her quest to the Throne and it respects the flame in her heart. If the red orc wants to succeed in her quest, she needs a mentor to guide her. A dragonborn is summoned behind her; Nox will be Zara’s mentor and teaches her the fighting style Dragon’s Fury. The two finish their training session and Zara comes back to the waking realm.
The party hugs Zara as she comes back, and they finally head to the stonehenge. They find a ritual pulsing with Violet energy. Umi sees that these stones are an anchor point for a portal and the only way to destroy the portal is to destroy the spirit residing in the stone in the center of the stonehenge. Terryn slowly approaches the stone to study it and shoots an acorn towards it. Suddenly, the sky darkens as the Aphotic Indefatigable is summoned. The time for mercy has passed.

Edited by PalladiumDrake
Thanks for reading.

Are there any ENTP females on this sub who have kids? If so, what's it like? (Male comments and/or advice also welcome)

- - ADVICE NEEDED - -
I believe I've seen some ENTP males comment on being a parent before but I'm not sure I've heard from any females on this subject. The possibility of having kids has suddenly become a reality for me and I need advice from other like-minded people on whether or not it's worth going through with.
** Skip to the end if you don't want to read my background although I believe it's really important given my unusual life circumstances. *\*
------------------------------------------------------ Background -------------------------------------------------------
I never thought I wanted kids growing up because I had a life-threatening disease that, for one, made it likely I would die before the age of 35, and for two, makes getting pregnant & carrying a baby to term extremely hard.
I'm currently 26 and a lot of things have happened in the last 5 years that I never expected to be possible in my lifetime. I graduated college, I got off the problem-drugs I was addicted to for pain-management related to my disease, I got a stable tech industry job with benefits that pays a livable wage and aligns with my skill set — I even found an INTJ partner and we got married 2 years ago. Since then we got a new car, we bought a house, we adopted two additional puppies in addition to my older dog, plus our jobs aren't as stressful as others out there and our combined salaries leave us comfortably middle-class.
Oh, but the most extremely significant change that has happened to me is that in Nov. 2019 I started a groundbreaking, new, ultra-expensive drug for my disease that basically cured me (provided I take it every day). This drug has really upended my understanding of the world and my own body. Now that I have something to lose (a partner, my assets, and a body that actually feels next to NORMAL for the first time in my life) I'm suddenly scared of death. I had lived such an impulsive, ride-or-die lifestyle with no fear of death before all this so it's actually baffling to me.
It makes me wonder what all could now be possible in my new life that wasn't before. It also terrifies me that I'm now going to have to live through the side-effects of all the drugs & alcohol damage I've done to my body over the past 10 years trying to escape from stress and pain — but that's a problem for another day.
Anyways, back to kids. As a female who has had, like, 30 sexual partners over the years of course I've felt the short-lived, oxytocin-motivated desire for children at the beginning of certain relationships, and I sometimes joked about it with long-term partners, but given my body physiology, I never thought it could realistically happen.
The medication I am now on has helped all of my internal organs function better, including my reproductive organs. I stopped BC a couple of years ago because I thought it might be making me a little depressed, and my (now husband) was living overseas so I only saw him for a couple of weeks every few months, so it was worth seeing what would happen if I stopped. The good news is that I haven't felt depressed since stopping BC (which could be impacted by a number of life-factors but I'm not discounting its potential impact). I have, however, become bizarrely more emotional over the years Side note: I always selfishly assumed women were being over-the-top about menstrual pain and mood-swings, but boy was I wrong. I had been on BC since the age of 16, so I always had short, light periods and I rarely felt menstrual cramps (I also had chronic abdominal pain so maybe it just blended in) and I was very averse to showing emotions. I had to start a mood stabilizer after stopping BC because I didn't like not being in control of my emotions and the pain was very real. This past detail is just a tidbit of info for any men (or women) out there who don't understand the significance of PMS like I didn't for an entire decade.
Anyways, I've held this idea in my head for so long that I'm likely infertile, or that I take too many substances to ever be able to get pregnant/carry a baby to term, that once my husband moved in 2 years ago I didn't even decide to get back on BC. That being said, doctors warned me that I should consider getting back on BC after beginning this new medication, but I just thought, "I'm only able to get pregnant two days out of the month, and I'm likely infertile anyway, so why bother?" and deep down, I was simply curious to know if it was even possible so I took a laissez-faire approach to the subject and continued to live birth control-free. Plus my sex drive has steadily decreased since starting this mood stabilizer, and our combined laziness means that intimacy has become rarer than it ever has been in my entire life.
We discussed the idea of kids before I started this medication, but over the last years together we keep stating that we really enjoy the current life we have so why would we ruin it with children? I'm not sure how suited we'd be adapting to being parents. But I am a quick learner, and I think I could adapt faster than he could, and I think he would eventually become decent at the dad role — provided we properly manage stress and continue to work as a team (which actually sounds really difficult).
Having kids is also a shot in the dark, so many terrible things can happen. I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of childbirth, my pain tolerance — which used to be high as a result of coping with pain for my entire existence — has decreased tremendously and I've gone totally soft since my disease was "cured". I'd probably have to stop some of the pleasant psychiatric meds during pregnancy because they could be harmful to the fetus which would certainly bring back mood-swings. I'd probably become bitchy and controlling and more useless at my job and completing housework. Plus the fear of dying in childbirth is very real now — particularly given the high maternal mortality rate in the US, my pre-existing conditions, and my newfound fear of death. And these are just my pregnancy fears!
As long as the US govt continues to deprive US citizens of universal healthcare the cost of having a child is exorbitant (even WITH employer-sponsored benefits). If we somehow manage to pull through all that, the best scenario I see is our kid comes out as an extremely intelligent kid with Aspergers (runs in my family) or ADHD (my diagnosis) — which would make child-rearing difficult at best. Worst case scenario is obviously congenital defects or other illnesses. So it's really a gamble. Not to mention climate change and the imminent death of our planet, the social unrest in the US, the fast-paced evolution of technology (both a blessing and a curse), and the psychological impact it has on many people (particularly children and teens). In all, the financial and psychological impact of bringing a kid into this world seems so dreadful.
Still, as an ENTP I obviously have FOMO (fear of missing out), which was also what lead to my impulsive/risky ride-or-die lifestyle in the past. I tried my best to do everything I could ever want to do before the age of 25 out of my assumption I'd die young. I've traveled all over the world, I've tried almost every drug out there, I've had numerous friendships and relationships, I throw awesome parties, been to EDM concerts all over the world, I got a solid job, I graduated college, got married, bought a house, I've even been on a reality TV show episode, it really seems like the only thing I haven't done yet (outside of advancing my career to a hypothetical "dream job") is becoming a parent. But kids aren't a temporary experience, they're for life. Having a kid is the biggest commitment you could ever take on, and as you know as ENTPs — commitment isn't exactly our strong suit. I'm a quick learner though, I think I could become a decent mother over time. Not a "great" parent but a decent one — the question is how enjoyable would it be? If our kid turns out like me it'd be intelligent with the potential to do well in school, but hyperactive and difficult to motivate academically, then later in life, it would become an impulsive teenager with a disdain for their parents, a hatred towards authoritative figures, and could dislike many of the other people they meet. If it turns like my husband, it'd be quiet and shy and extremely intelligent but would possess extreme apathy towards school and close relationships, which would make connecting with them difficult.
There are many people who decided to have kids and they have great lives, there are many people who have kids and love their life, and then there are people who had kids and regret it every day — I'm worried this is the category we could fall into.
------------------------------------------------------------------- TLDR: ------------------------------------------------------------------
So I'd like to ask you all, particularly the females out there, what about being an ENTP makes us good parents and what makes us bad ones? What would the parental dynamics between a textbook ENTP-A female and a textbook INTJ-T male look like (particularly given my personal life story)? If you have kids, do you know (or can you guess) what their MBTI type is? I assume that would have an extreme impact on my relationship with the kid.
Anyway, my motivation for this extremely lengthy question/diary entry is... my period (which is relatively regular) is something like 3.5 weeks late. So the concept has become more pressing in my mind.
Real bad timing because I just booked my dream cruise around New Zealand (a late honeymoon gift to ourselves) for December of this year so if I were pregnant there's a strong possibility that I might discontinue the process. Not for the sole purpose of vacationing, there are many benefits in delaying pregnancy until you're absolutely positive you want a kid, that being said I'm not sure I'll ever be 100% positive either way. If I discontinued it, then I'd at least be happy to know I am actually fertile and could possibly have a child in the future if I really wanted one.
Also, is it bad that I really only want one kid and I want it to be male? I really really don't want to raise a female — especially given the mood-disorders that run in the female side of my family, my inability to connect with females in general, and how difficult being a female in this world is. I feel like a total dick admitting that though.
I look forward to hearing everyone's answers, advice, and opinions the ENTP community is the most helpful community on Reddit IMO when compared to other subreddits given our objective evaluation skills, a tendency towards sharing solid & sometimes unsolicited advice, and my relatability to the community in general. People on other subreddits don't seem to like my way of thinking or writing, but ENTPs understand.

can a gambling addiction be cured video

The good news is that once diagnosed, this addiction can be treated and cured. Action gambling is one category of compulsive gambling where the addicted individual’s substance of choice is risk-taking. The person becomes addicted to the action and thrill of gambling, much like a heroin addict can become addicted to the process of shooting up. A person who is classified as an action gambler gets pleasure out of being seen as a “winner” by others and will therefore gamble in large groups ... They feel they can’t give up on all the time, money and emotion they have put into gambling. They can’t accept that they will never win back what they have lost. Some people still believe their system will pay off, their luck will change or they are due to win. Others believe that continuing to gamble is the only way out of a situation they are ashamed about. Other people promise to quit ... Gambling Addiction : Can gambling addiction be cured? VideojugHealthWellbeing. Follow. 10 years ago 81 views. Marc Kern (Addiction Expert, Director of Addiction Alternatives) Report. Browse more videos ... Gambling addiction treatment program options include other therapeutic methods as well. Psychotherapy, or the practice of dealing with gambling triggers through individual and group counseling sessions, can lead to many of the same results as cognitive behavioral therapy, including isolating causes and reversing misperceptions. Gambling addiction causes changes in the gambler's brain in ways that require treatment and recovery to arrest the addiction. When gambling stops (usually when there's no more money), the gambler crashes - financially, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This crash is a combination of the gambler's realization of the money and time lost, and the decrease in dopamine levels in ... No addiction can be cured in just a few weeks. It’s something that you’ll have to battle throughout your life. That’s why after your stay at Ocean Recovery Centre, you’ll get a year of FREE aftercare. There are many temptations to gamble in everyday life, and many stressful situations can trigger you. Gambling addiction can take a major toll on your entire life and destroy everything you ever worked for in merely a few minutes. No one thinks they can become addicted to gambling. It feels like a fun way to double your bucks but gradually the urge to gamble more money becomes stronger, and you get addicted. It is possible to cure gambling addiction. Whether someone considers themselves a problem gambler, a compulsive gambler, or a gambling addict they can set themselves free from the issue – as long as they go about it in the right way. Most mainstream methods of helping gambling addicts focus on the use of willpower. The idea is to have the gambler acknowledge that their problem is ruining their lives and the lives of their loved ones, and that they should commit to a lifelong battle ... As far as the question that whether Gambling Addiction can be cured or treated; the answer to that is yes but it all depends on the effectiveness of treatment programs, affordability of the treatment program, the qualified addiction therapist and mental health treatment experts such as clinical psychologists and psychiatrists are employed by a certain addiction rehab center. Here are 7 ailments that can be cured and/or prevented by gambling: 1. Dementia. According to this article from NBC News, a study from Yale seems to indicate that gambling can sharpen the brain function of older gamblers. Sharpened brain function is the opposite of dementia. I’m not sure why casinos haven’t started funding studies to support gambling activities as a treatment for Alzheimers, but maybe they should think about it?

can a gambling addiction be cured top

Stop Compulsive Gambling: Treatments And Therapy - YouTube

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