The results are in for Match 9. The winner is…
William Eyelash, with a score of 68 to Jacob Brown’s 68, tie broken by a higher ‘categories taken’ count!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	The Graveyard Shift	16-13
Quality	The Graveyard Shift	22-20	Reasoning
JoJolity	Masters of Funky Action	20-25	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

William Eyelash had taken the lead in this match, and though as a leader, he hadn’t done the best job, getting Jack visibly injured, as a combatant, he had managed to withstand the aggressive and area-painting onslaughts of himself from not so long ago, and of a much more experienced version of the partner he’d once had.
It had made him catch his breath, reflect on all that had come to this point, to recall that moment where Ocean Eyes had been the one to embrace and protect him.
“Yes… I understand now,” William answered, walking carefully through the snow, “you had something good going there, Jacob Brown, but… Y-you didn’t seriously think I would fall for tricks like those coming from my own Stand, did you?” Didn’t even know it could do all that, though… Even now, I can still grow, huh?
That put a smile on his face, then, as he approached the injured Jack, helping him up. “You still with us?”
“Hee hee, I’ll peachy keen as peachy cream in a little while… But right now I’m very much hurting yes.” Jack chuckled, resting his eyes and looking things over. “In the end, though… I called that other me in the hoodie an impostor, but he knew my Stand better than I did. He was even more me than me… What does that mean?” He looked down. “Am… Am I the lie?”
“I, uh… I don’t know how to answer that,” William said, “but… You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. And, uh… You helped me out a ton. Sorry for getting you hurt, uh, not that used to leading, but you really seemed to trust in me…”
“We all make mistakes!” Jack said, not minding that at all, “but… I suppose you’re right. I won’t let some stranger get in my head… But I guess that all of us were telling the truth in our hearts, then.” He looked to the defeated ‘Billy’ and the slightly-older Jacob, both bleeding and unconscious, the latter falling much faster. Already, a strange white blob was moving through the snowfield towards them, examining them. “So I guess we spare them today... if they survive what we’ve given already!”
Neither would realize it for another few minutes, but for Jacob Brown, those words had proven prophetic.
“S-still though… If you’ve really lived a full life here, become the same person with the same Stand, same memories,” William said, “does that mean that can just… Happen? But how, wh-when really, by probability and stuff…”
“So is the unusual burden of ‘Fate,’ felt strongest upon this city,” a familiar, altered voice spoke, and sitting on a park bench, William and Jack spied none other than the Institute’s head, still heavily layered as he always was.
“Oh No…” William muttered.
“‘Oh no?’ Is this a problem of a person?” Jack asked, then giggled. “Heeheh, just a little joke. I know about the Institute, of course!”
“The ‘Fortuna Double’ might exist at any point in time, for any Stand User from outside its walls, and no matter how irreconcilable the circumstances, how ‘impossible’ it should be for two people to have the same fated path, even for the slight differences of the city… The ‘Same Person’ can unquestionably exist. Wouldn’t be surprised if you, ‘Jack,’ and this ‘Billy’ here were simply the first you encountered who were close enough to your age that you immediately noticed.” No tilted his head. “Why, even that cute creature who followed the elder Jacob Brown is, literally, the same being as the Bert that just died… Yet, unlike them, bound still by fate. I wonder, then, what will prove to be the same, to be indomitable ‘fate,’ and what will prove not so.”
“I think sometimes about if I’ve ever had one here… Or will, in the future. That sounds utterly boring if so, though. I refuse to know my fate; it’s vexing enough of a limit on myself that I’m burdened by, knowing it’s predetermined to exist at all.”
“Uh… Right.” This was heavy, huh? William tried to figure out what it all meant. “Fortuna Doubles, huh… So they’re both real, completely and absolutely, then?”
“Precisely!” No remarked, cheerily. “Would you like to speak more about this? Go on, sit with me.”
Only a few hours remain still in your window of time to vote in a match between an Agnes and some Guy in a crowded concert hall brought down to size.
Scenario:
Alexis Williams was sinking.
Every day, the myriad of matters which plagued the outwardly-cheerful woman’s mind seemed to be growing worse and worse. The unhealthy relationship she’d had with her Stand had turned into an even worse sort of tension, a fundamental disconnect with an aspect of herself which she literally could not be away from.
It hadn’t been uncommon for some time for her to wonder if a given day would be her last. Over the last several months, those feelings had only grown and grown in their intensity, in their power over her, and it had even begun to show outwardly.
It wouldn’t be long now, surely, before-
Alexis’ hotel room door was kicked so hard that one of the hinges flew off, and through it launched, not an attacker like she might have imagined, some hostile Stand User out to invade her home, but something arguably even worse.
“ALEXIS!”
Her friend and fellow Eighth Circle mainstay, Bucket.
She clutched her forehead and forced a smile, turning away from what she’d been using to get through the day and towards him. Already, she could tell that the chaos agent, formerly known for the octopus on his head, now sporting sick sarashi and a pompadour, was here with intentions ranging from ‘good’ to ‘no intentions whatsoever,’ and it wasn’t in her nature to tell someone like that to fuck off.
“Bucket! Hey!” She said, an edge to her chipper tone. “You, uh, surprised me there… You’re gonna fix that door, right?” She blinked. “Wait, weren’t you at that Metra show? I thought I’d heard everyone there was shrunk down to-”
“Forget about that!” He answered, earnestly drawing closer, grasping her by the wrists suddenly, yet at once gently. “Alexis, I don’t know what’s going on with your head or heart or anything else, but I know I can’t just stand around outside your door watching you get more and more miserable! Even I noticed, so it must be really really bad whatever’s hurting you inside! I’m an acolyte of the boogie now, the example of Rudolf Pavlova, so I can’t let a friend be in need!”
“Rudolf…” Alexis had heard of his passing, so soon after helping her put on such a wonderful show, and been unsurprised. Wait, though, since when did Bucket- Ah, never mind. She shook her head, looking him in the eye. The highly chaotic, unstable hellraiser of the Judecca Highrollers was giving her puppy-dog eyes. “Did… Did you want to do something?”
“Yes! I want to make you better!” Bucket exclaimed, pulling away and bouncing upwards. “So c’mon! Let’s head out… Make some trouble, follow no rules but our own and to be happy!” He stopped, then, pulling back a moment, as if reading the room once again, folding his arms over his chest. “I mean, if you want to.”
Alexis thought it over. He meant well, clearly, and wished dearly to cheer her up… A person didn’t need to understand the nuances of the soul to see when a person was hurting, and to reach out for them.
She doubted it would make things better for her, but who’s to say it needed to be?
“That sounds great,” she said, relaxing her forced cheer slightly and nodding. “Maybe it’s what I need right about now.”
The Woods at Aurelio - Midday - Near the Northern Bridge
“So you’re sure that he’s got a base out here?”
“Crystal clear!” Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky answered Effie Linder, tilting her head one way and then the other as she and her Stand attempted to scope out the sounds of the area. “There was only basically one cop left and then Ugo made them quit, took the place over, paid them off… So now he just sorta comes and goes around that little old ‘empty’ police station!”
“If he hangs out at the town’s police station,” Effie asked, confused at her coworker’s demeanor, “then why are we out this far away from it?”
“Because!” Glitch answered, huffing and folding her arms. “I said he comes and goes! And prrobably isn’t there right now. Mrr, you’re the one who wanted to come out here with me, so let’s keep searching!”
“…” Effie nodded. “You know what, fair enough. He never was the type to stay still long, so looking where the Watch is going would be a start…”
Since that day she fought that shithead twink Agnes and that Italian twink Arpeggi at Tigran Sins’ casino, Glitch had been gradually, increasingly mulling over the idea of becoming something not so much unlike the latter… A vigilante, out to not just cause problems on purpose, but sometimes even solve them on purpose, in the way a Stand User knew best: shenanigans and violence.
Hearing about the way that Ugo McBaise had sabotaged the capture of the very villains whose challenge had inspired her to act, had directly gotten people killed and responsible for dangerous people staying at large, that felt like reason plenty to break out ‘shenanigans and violence’ on him.
Effie caught her on the way out, and had said then, “what, am I gonna wait around for Fira to send me on some bullshit errand? If you’re turning that piece of shit’s head concave, I’m in too.”
And so, enthusiastically, Effie had joined, and the pair had been circling the outskirts of town atop Vida Loca ever since, Effie also using her murder of crows for further observations than what her eyes alone could tell her.
Glitch’s ears perked, as did her Stand. “…something’s up ahead. A bunch of people hanging out by the river…”
“Hm? Yeah, I think I see it!” Effie remarked, producing a pair of binoculars to look that way. “VALKYRIE guys… You know what that means up here, don’t you?”
Though most of the company fell in line with Rushen Smith’s new leadership, it was something of an open secret that Ugo McBaise had very specifically drilled the former Neighborhood Watch, which had become a new unit of the company, into being loyal to him, not to his rank. Fears being stoked about the potential of ANVIL going to war with the town was all that kept them from being disbanded outright, feeling that people familiar with the area were best-suited for watching it.
Glitch hissed. “Alright, then, you know what we’ve gotta do!”
“Wait, it looks like they’re being talked through something by…” Effie adjusted the binoculars, peered through the crowd, and recognized a very identifiable vest… and a bald head, shining in the midday sun. “Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones had been having a good few weeks himself, ever since his earlier, very successful outing with Dread. It had ended in him successfully acquiring not just any ‘Memento,’ but perhaps one of the city’s most dangerous, and the life-fearing compliance of the kidnapped alleged immortal who led it to him, taught him its secrets.
Apparently some kitty somewhere was sad about that, but eh, when you’re making an omelette, yeah?
“Wait wait wait,” he said affably to the crowd of VALKYRIE agents he’d once called a neighborhood watch, “you say a guy in a blue pomp and a dancer’ve been… Spray painting your cars? Throwin’ dead fish at ya? Sprayin’ ink to get away?” He snickered. “You’ve had a hell of a morning with this prankster pair, then, if they keep givin’ you the slip.”
“Please, Mr. Jones,” a young man said as he continued to wipe fish guts off of his helmet visor, “I… I know, technically, you aren’t our leader anymore, that the bosses don’t like you much, but.” He sniffled, earnestly. “But you’ve always been so good to us, even since then! You’ve been loyal to us, and we still love you for it, no matter what they say you did!”
“Heheh… Hearin’ you say that makes it worth it, y’know that?” Mr. Jones wiped a finger under the eye of his sunglasses, looking them over. “Think I know who might be the whodunnit-er here, actually. Just gimme a hot minute to track the guy down, and-”
“Got a lot of nerve talking to my men, Jones.”
Everyone went silent, then, at the sound of a hammer, for dramatic effect, being dragged along the pavement of the road, then swung in the air by an absolute cinderblock of a man.
“You got a problem, and you come running to him because he happened to be passing by? What happened to using your damn heads?” Ugo chewed his subordinates out, then, before looking to the neighborhood watch founder. “I think you’ve confused these people, Worm, by still keeping up that paternal reliable neighbor shit. They’ve all been taught well and good that they listen to me, not some replacement,” he pointed his hammer forward, then, threateningly, “and sure as hell not some serial killing scum!”
“Now now now, Ugo, c’mon, it’s clear they like us both, yeah? So let’s just… Clear the confusion up, if y’care that much!” Mr. Jones reached for the sabre sheathed at his side, then, drawing it with a golden sheen; he’d fished it out of the wreckage of Capital Island one day after it wasn’t destroyed in Jack’s ritual. He, too, pointed it forward. “I know the language you speak, so let’s talk in that.”
Ugo grunted, then, swinging his hammer back over his shoulder as a very feminine form appeared behind him, looking like something of a curvy, thickset cowgirl. “Aw, Ugo and I concur, y’all know we’re down t’bash some heads and take a name or two! Why, sugar, we’re about to put you down like a sick dog!”
Mr. Jones got a snicker out of the odd word choices of ‘She’s a Big Boy,’ finding the contrast between Stand and User in all but their brutal aggression amusing; sometimes he’d tried in the past to talk to him and unpack what the Stand actually said about Ugo’s soul, but it was a conversation the very straightforward, taciturn former football star never quite liked to have.
Jones gestured with his head, then. “Watch, get back to HQ, yeah? Whoever you see walk through that door, few hours from now, respect that, yeah?”
“Uh… S-sure?” The ex-Watch member who’d been speaking said, turning around. “C’mon, guys, let’s get pizza or something… I guess.”
Alexis had been sitting by the bank of the Wormwood River, mulling over the shenanigans Bucket had encouraged her to join in with, ever since she’d happened to spot all the Watch members they’d been harassing seemingly surround somebody; it was an action which led Bucket to say ‘just gimme a minute’ before diving into the water.
It was a shame, honestly. This harmless problem causing had actually been kind of fun, in a way.
Bucket splashed up soon after. “I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
“There was this bald guy talking to all the VALKYRIE guys about all our awesome pranks, and then that no-good bastard Ugo showed up and they started slugging it out and moving towards a sewer grate. And then, you wouldn’t believe it… The bald guy turned into Conqueror Worm!”
That gave Alexis pause, then. He was here? “We… We should probably go somewhere else, then! If people out there are fighting, I want no part in it whatsoever… And you probably shouldn’t anger guys like that either.”
“I can’t just turn away from this, Alexis! I’m here to cheer you up, and that guy… When he helped kidnap you, that’s when you started to feel even worse! So, I’m going to roll up there, give him my fiercest look possible, and make him apologize for being mean to you.”
That… Wasn’t where Alexis was expecting Bucket to end that sentence, but it made her sigh, momentarily. Her mood was good and ruined now anyway by these revelations, and Bucket was suggesting something dangerous nonetheless. “Look, Bucket, not everybody is good-natured, okay? You can’t just walk up to somebody and-”
“But I will!” Bucket insisted, flexing. “Because I have the power of ‘the boogie’ on my side, don’t you get it? This will cheer you so far up! You don’t even need to come along if you don’t want, because I dunno I might punch Ugo a bit if he hits first! But either way, you will get your apology, I swear it!”
Then, Bucket ran off. To confront two very dangerous brick shithouses of men. In a sewer.
“He’s going to get himself killed…” Alexis felt awful now, standing and looking Southward. She could just leave, couldn’t she? Bucket even said he wasn’t expecting her to follow when it could turn into a fight… In the end, were humans not all fated to fall victim to their own mistakes, their own vices and eccentricities?
…I can’t just leave a friend like that, even if I’m feeling bad.
“Bucket!” Alexis called, beginning to run after him. “Wait up for me! I’m coming along too! Let’s… Get that apology!”
She was having to babysit the guy who came to help her out, now, was that it?
“Ghhgh, it’s a two-for-one special on the worst in the city, isn’t it?” Glitch complained, trailing Effie down a ladder into the sewers. “First we’re tailing Ugo, and then Mr. Jones, and now they’re fighting… I don’t even know who’s worse!”
“One’s a serial killer, and yeah super dangerous,” Effie pointed out, “and the other keeps getting a lot of other people killed with his own dangerous stupidity… Keeps causing us problems, and helped escalate that warzone. I don’t like being an enemy of ANVIL, Glitch… I really don’t.”
“Mmrhh… They’re gonna get a piece of our best attacks.”
The pair, then, touched ground, and Effie saw around them the signs of battle, of pieces of the ground seemingly terraformed, nicked, busted-up, and the sounds of clashing in the distance. Undoubtedly them.
Then, though, as they stepped forward, soon after, a pair literally dropped down behind them, one after the other, first a scarred, pompadoured idiot doing a cool roll, then a redheaded gymnast landing coolly not far behind.
“Wait a minute… Bucket? And, uh, that performer from that thing everyone liked… Alexis Williams?” Effie remarked, backing away a bit, trying to figure out the pair’s intentions. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you know!” Alexis tilted her head, very blatant in how forced the chipper tone had become, especially by the nature of what she’d said next. “Losing control of my life, letting weird things get out of hand… But I’m here now. I’ve committed to my choice, and I hear sounds further back. So, Bucket! Let’s get a move-on, yeah? I don’t particularly care much for being in a sewer…”
Bucket, however, had been unmoving since he had begun to stand. Glitch, too, faced directly his way, allowing him to look her in the eye as a strange expression came over them both.
Effie and Alexis, then, were deeply confused, until Vida Loca appeared, and the sounds of beatboxing seemed to fill the air.
“Wh-” Effie was taken aback. “Glitch, we’ve got something going on here. You’re not seriously going to-”
“Hey fishman, the cat’s here to catch ya / Tiger ‘Glitch’ Ricky on the mic comin’ atcha / In a hotel or a diner or even a sewer / My rhymes gonna run you through like a skewer!”
This was physically painful for Alexis to watch. She covered her mouth as she prepared for Bucket to open his, well aware that half of their social circle was probably going to slap him for whatever came out.
“Name’s Bucket, B-U-C-K-E-T / Got beat but came back now with the Boogie! / Was chasin’ a killer but this fish can still school you / With my friend Alexis here, my rhymes’ll hit true!”
“…hit true?” Alexis couldn’t help but find that groan-inducingly hilarious, though her momentary joy, then, was cut short by the fact that Effie, meanwhile, was absolutely seething.
“C’mon, do this literally any other time!” She exasperatedly proclaimed, tugging at Glitch’s arm, “we can’t let those assholes get away, c’mon, you know we need to cut this out and-”
Bucket threw a fish at Effie’s face.
Everyone went silent, then, as it slid off and hit the ground, her own expression dry with displeasure.
“Did… Did you just throw a fish at me?”
“Yeah! Because you keep ruining the vibes!” Bucket huffed. “So cut it the hell out, or I will do it again!”
“Really now,” Effie said, keeping her hand by her slingshot and beginning to walk further Southward. “If you keep distracting us, I’ll have to get you out of our way.”
One of Bucket’s massive knives, then, was drawn, blade resting centimeters from Effie’s face. “Don’t threaten me, alright? That’s completely against the spirit of this.”
Glitch hissed, then, her own mood ruined, “hey! You can’t just pull a weapon on my friend like that, even if she’s being a spoilsport! That’s way over-the-line!”
As both sides fell back, not losing sight of the other as they attempted to pull away and regroup, it was clear that three-fourths of the quartet had been angered enough at one another in an instant that a fight was about to brew.
Alexis had been deliberately trying not to send out her Stand this entire time, wanting some semblance of mental distance from it after their disagreements had turned increasingly mean, her literal fighting with herself and grappling with her demons leaving her wanting absolutely none of this.
Bucket was about to get himself killed over, easily, the stupidest thing she had ever seen a fight start over.
This day has gone from sad to fun to the most frustrating I have ever seen… I tried to make a good day out of it, but here I am now. I can’t just abandon Bucket after he tried for me… But boy is he trying me.
OPEN THE GAME!
(Credit to CaptainSpooky27 for yet more awesome match art!)
Location: One of Los Fortuna’s sewer pathways, specifically far on the Northwestern outskirts of the town of Aurelio. These are one of the many entrances to the elaborate and interconnected underground networks of the city, though you’re in a pretty straightforward section of it that doesn’t branch off all that many surprising ways.
Not far South from here, but distant enough that it won’t ever affect this match, you can hear the sounds of a simultaneous battle between Mr. Jones and Ugo McBaise.
The area here is 63 meters by 33 meters with each tile being 3 by 3 meters. With TGS on the left and JHR on the right, represented by their character tokens.
The light grey tiles are the concrete paths, the darker grey tiles are the walls, and the blue tiles are sewer water. The walls are solid all the way through.
The sewer itself is actually relatively clean here, as clean as underground sewer water can be really. The water level is about 1 foot below the walkways and the water is 3 meters deep.
The ceiling is 4 meters above the walkways and the walkways have cheap metal guardrails between themselves and the water, as represented by the bolded outlines. The orange rectangles are the metal bridges between the walkways and the yellow circles are open manhole covers with light streaming through. The grey triangles are strange stalagmite-like protrusions, likely somehow created by Ugo and Jones’ fight. They match the same material as the stone walls, take up most of the walkway in width, and reach up to the ceiling.
Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information: Logic is allowed to kill me(Kak) and both of the players who made me write this.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Judecca Highrollers	Bucket	"Are you mocking me? You went into the ground with your zipper? Are you copying me?" This whole thing has gotten so absolutely lame, that it’s killed your attempts to cheer your friend up and to have an awesome rap battle. So these guys are lame, and need to feel it! Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!
Judecca Highrollers	Alexis Williams	“You think that you can escape my punches when you're surrounded by walls of dirt?” Bucket’s gotten people into another frustrating situation by not thinking, huh? Well, you’ll get him out of this in one piece by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Effie Linder	“They say that sound reverberates better in liquids than in solids.” Seriously, Glitch? Seriously? Well, at least as long as you’re in this gnarly sewer, you can get something out of it by using your head. Use this underground sewer environment to your advantage!
The Graveyard Shift	Tiger “Glitch” Ricky	"Do you think you stand a chance against me by going underground?!" So now you and your opponents are going to be trying to one-up each other, huh? Bucket is an immensely clownable guy, dammit, and you were so hyped to do so verbally… Make sure to find creative ways for your strategy to humiliate your opponents!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
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JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #5 - Nix Ripa and Arthur Lifeson vs Cairo Satori

The results are in for Match 10. The winner is…
Ananas “Agnes” Bayley, with a score of 72 to Guy Manuel-Mota’s 69!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	BADD GUYS	18-12
Quality	Suburban Regalia	22-23	Reasoning
JoJolity	Suburban Regalia	22-24	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

Amidst the sea of concrete snow that the stage had become, egged on by Agnes’ unusual encore request that Metra had agreed to, the killing intent of the self-styled villain and master mixologist had won out against the comparable brutality of the affable mercenary who had tried to take his life with just as much brutality.
The crowd, though annoyed by being utterly doused in carbonated everything, literally tossed around, literally watching their fellow partygoers exsanguinated and turned into meat puppets, did not allow it to ruin their fun, cheering on for Metra and her eclectic song choices. Agnes hopped off the makeshift surfboard he’d constructed, his opponent cut to pieces and speared and speared to hell, and it a testament to the sheer resilience of Guy-Manuel Mota that, even in such a gored, pulverized state, his opponent wondered if he was actually dead.
Regardless, he wasn’t getting back up, or reassembling, or pulling any more surprises or attempts to play possum. Realizing that it was over, Agnes was shaking. Breathing heavily. Hints of tears started to form in his eyes… but before he had a chance to cry, he arched back, laughing into a sea of concrete snow.
He’d won again.
“There you go, Metra, your show is saved or whatever,” he said with a mocking flippancy as she left the crowd to meet him backstage, “and I didn’t even kill any of these guys who paid to see you… They’ll just have to deal with sticky-wet clothes and some broken limbs.”
“Can’t believe this happened again… And I just had no choice but to keep singing and dancing.” Metra rubbed her hands on her arms, shaking her head. “I’m sick of this shit… I thought it was all almost over, but it’s just going to be forever in this city, huh?”
“Probably,” Agnes said, still half-laughing through a strained face, “just a constant, encroaching wave of ‘despair’ every waking moment… Way I see it, either you ride that shit as far as you can, or you let yourself drown. Doesn’t make a difference to me which you do.”
He glanced up at the ceiling then, cupping his hands. “Hey, fuckers! I won now! I beat the guy you sent! Get on the biggering or I’ll burn your casino down again!”
The game had, in fact, been won, and Agnes and Metra were the first to start to be free of its grasp, along with the spiked and bloodied separated bits of Guy, still pulsating ambiguously.
“He’s out for blood.” Tigran declared, warning the others Entertainment District highrollers observing, as he produced a deck of cards. “My Stand can’t hold him at that size much longer… But this whole place is about to be flooded with people, too. Duck into somewhere, and get away in the confusion.”
He spoke authoritatively, and even his sole superior, Fox, complied with his wishes after an urgent glance. “I… I’ll come for you! I promise I will!”
Tigran didn’t hear much more of that, then, beyond the sounds of Pork Soda’s Stand cry amplified by sonic boosts courtesy of Metra Doria. He fought impressively with little more than a deck of cards, but even then, could only buy his friends the seconds they needed to get away, live to gamble another day.
Tigran “Golden” Sins, User of ‘The Grid
Retired!
Face broken in nearly a dozen places by Agnes and TD/MD, the 48 year-old owner of Heartache Casino would be very quickly interned at Red Clay penitentiary, Metra insisting that her ally not kill him.
As thousands of confused concertgoers suddenly grew to full size and began to flood the halls of the Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater, the rest of his accomplices were able to escape the authorities yet again. Despite his extremely infamous protectiveness towards his face, he almost seemed to wear the damage with pride, knowing that this time, it represented having allowed the only man he considered greater than himself to run free yet again.
Red Clay Penitentiary - Industrial District
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a small world now? Tigran Sins, now in my care… Certainly less of a looker than I’d heard.” A dark-wavy-haired twenty-something sat snickering in the warden’s big swivel-chair, clad in a sleeveless velvet minidress, what of her flesh was exposed covered in flickering tattoos resembling closed eyes, flanked by uncanny-looking guards. “You don’t know me, but I’ve certainly heard of you… Of how you treated someone I hold dear very cruelly. Don’t you understand we’re all Stand Users trying to live our best life, Mr. Golden? I’m not the one who hurt you and threw you in here, and you’re not the one who said that I needed to be kept half-starved at all times so I couldn’t create anything.”
“Wh… Wait. Who the hell’re you?”
“Did my sweetheart never mention me, or do you just not pay attention to anyone but you and yours?” She leaned forward, bridging her fingers together. “I’m Palmer. I was a drama teacher at a small-town high school, but they kept overfunding football, one thing led to another, and now… I’ve got some serious vision.”
Tigran would be the last inmate admitted to Red Clay before a coup months in the making finally came to fruition.
Hey, yeah, Palmer! Remember that fun NPC? She was dating Mr. Jones and killed four people for him! Anyway, yeah, adjacent to him, an all-out meanspirited brawl in a sewer is taking place, feat. two chaotic clowns and two very frustrated young women.
What rotten luck this had been.
That leak, now of all days, when Being So Normal, Cairo Satori’s pet project that they had been slaving away at ever since setting foot in this series, had the deals with the devil that it had been built upon from the very beginning exposed for the world to see, and the city, which had loved every second of it before, had now been divided sharply between the loyal fans remaining and those protesting the entire thing, demanding the resignation of their producer, the cancellation of a show which had been picked up by so many streaming platforms, had already begun to make so much for the people who had made a livelihood of it all.
With the connection to Andrew Tiffany’s demise, even the oh-so-loyal Purple Flying Man resigned with only a short argument, and even the damage control removal of Caroline Jeffords, responsible for the worst of it, did little to contain the fact that Cairo knew about this, and Cairo allowed this to proceed nonetheless.
What, were they going to just throw it all away at the last minute? Ruin lives, tank companies, get how many people laid off? All over the failures of those close to them? Of course not.
“Cairo, dear,” the voice of that ever-troublesome producer, Million Dollars, muttered into a cell phone for them, “I’m going to need to go under the radar for awhile… People are beginning to look into my own affairs as well. But know that, as always, no matter what, you have my support. This show isn’t just a cash cow, Cairo… It’s an example. An example for the world to look to, and something for Stand Users to aspire to be better. I know you’re probably mad at us as well, but… You know that, don’t you?”
“Dollars… You’ve got a lot of nerve, trying to plead with me right now,” Cairo answered, tense in what had been their green room, sitting in the mall their producer had owned, “we definitely need to talk about our future… But we need to have one, too. Of course the show must go on… Nothing’s gonna jeopardize that!”
Free Viper Strip Mall, Suburban District
In recent times, the atmosphere at Free Viper was… somewhat dire. In fact, it had been on a rapid decline since that fateful day a couple months ago when Bert hijacked a ritual meant to challenge fate and did so, while murdering tens of thousands of people and injuring far more than that at the same time. Actually, Black Knight Penitentiary Album’s death and the realization that Remix was a serial killer came before that and weren’t very uplifting either, but what Bert did was somewhat hard to top.
Either way, the realization that he found one of the most morally bankrupt groups of people to team up with in Los Fortuna was one that Arthur Lifeson had reached not too long ago, and though it was somewhat of a painful thing to come to terms with, he had no choice but to do so and simply carry on. Bert had died, and the least Arthur could do from here on out would be to do his best to assist the city of Los Fortuna and bring justice to those who deserved it. The city certainly needed it, given all that was occurring right now.
For all the time Arthur spent in the city, he hadn’t gotten enough of note done yet… but that was soon to change. He had a plan in mind, one that would help keep the city and the world of stand users as a whole from devolving into further chaos. Before he could put it in place, however, he’d have to get some help.
Los Fortuna Shopping District, Sweet FA Mall - The Next Day
Nix Ripa had been in this city for months now, and in that time, all he had done was tear down walls, break buildings, break people who had dared to step all over the safety of others, of those too weak to bend fate to their whims.
It was despicable to him, and the icy Stand User was seething with hot rage. Those without the power to change the world themselves were pitiable, in their ways, yet at once, he knew they were not above help… That they needed to be driven higher, reach for the stars rather than wave to the heroes they saw in them!
When Arthur Lifeson discovered and contacted him, he did not hesitate to make his way to the megamall in which this was all set to culminate. Rather than in the comfortable solitude of the Black Hill Estate, where he could train without disruption, he’d even spent the night in an alley nearby, wanting to be able to spring out first thing in the morning!
When he did, then, as if on schedule, the older bearded man who had requested his help stood at the foot of Sweet FA, looking himself quite regal with that increasingly modified Medieval Times getup.
“Sir Ripa… It is an honor to meet in person, with yet another warrior of great acclaim.”
“Heh… I’ve seen you around,” Nix answered, stretching off the sleeping-on-a-dumpster aches and forcing out his hand, which Arthur, in turn, grabbed firmly, the pair locking fingers tightly and staring one another down intensely. “Did a damn fine number on those guys at this very mall awhile back… And it takes some guts to drive out into the Middle Finger for any reason! The mountains are where I do my most intense training of all!”
“Aye, I regrettably was fooled into following the glorious allure of Being So Normal… I lack even your good reason, of how you and your fallen brother-in-arms, Sir Rains, apprehended a true villain in the process of this fight, and even a black knight who would have put a past companion of mine to shame with her depravity.” He looked towards the space and shuddered. “The show, it refused to show the truth, but the wounds from that grueling battle, the burns… They were excruciating. That witch Jeffords, nothing she’s touched can be trusted as a truth to show the world.”
“So we’re in agreement then!” Nix said, finally letting the handshake go as Arthur’s hand began to grow numb, rolling his arms around and turning to face Sweet FA. “I looked into this place, their mission statement, their show, their producer… Set a good example my ass! They just want the whole damn world to think there’s nothing better than being a Stand User! That the ground we walk on should be kissed just for what we’ve got! Well… I’m no goddamn celebrity!”
“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” Arthur agreed, “and this mockery… It will not do good for the world to learn of us this way. A knight’s honor is not something we seek for glory, for congratulation, but because there is no greater purpose than to slay evil, to protect those who cannot for themselves!”
“Heh… I like you. After this, we’re sparring ‘til one of us can’t move!”
Nix led the way in there, then, Arthur feeling pause for a moment at the sheer intensity of his companion. This was not of fear, however, or of a sudden feeling of inadequacy at someone so much younger, yet so much more driven than him.
Nay, he had been filled with more righteous determination than ever, and with a battle cry that led to a family with two kids in a stroller staring his way, he ran in after him!
…
…
As soon as they reached the main foyer of the mall, both of them realized, in tandem, and Nix spoke first, “…this place is huge as hell! Where do we even go to smash shit up?”
“I… That. That is a good point! Perhaps we should conduct a map kiosk, one which says ‘you are here!’ Ugh, those are always a pain to read…”
“I’ll help you.”
Both turned, then, to see a very fashionable teenager, clad in a purple aviator cap and goggles, slim and bearing a dour expression on his face. All who had hung around Cairo would recognize the Purple Flying Man from someplace or another, as well as all the extremely online and influencer-following of Los Fortuna.
“This show… They’ve done so much to capitalize on my uncle’s death. They’ve actively stopped the truth of whatever might have happened to him from being investigated with their frameup… And this conflict, I have lost two of my brothers to it all over again.”
He paused, then, and the two men seemed to trust him.
“You won’t be able to erase the show completely… It’s already had a limited run in this city. But masters, extra footage, content they were going to actually send out… There’s a storage space nearby… Most of the show’s data is backed up, of course, but that’s where everything is being saved. If your wish is to sabotage Being So Normal, to ruin its international release before it can cause any more harm to the outside world, that is where you go.”
“So you’ve had a change of heart yourself… I am thankful to hear that, Purple One…” Arthur snapped his fingers, then, as if remembering his name. “Right, now I remember! ‘Afton,’ wasn’t it?”
Purple’s face faulted. “Erm… N-no, eheh. It, uh… It wasn’t that. I haven’t been anything but ‘Purple’ for a very long time.”
“No matter what you’re called, an enemy of this show’s from within is just what we need to make this a little less of a pain in the ass!” Nix declared. “Lead the way!”
A Series of Backstage Halls Deep Within Sweet FA
Acrobatic and stealthy as he was, after leading the way in for those who had sought out this quest to begin with, Purple hurried along deeper inward, well aware that it was likely this place would not be unguarded, and meaning to scout ahead, maybe even fight a bit if he absolutely needed to.
He really, really did not want to, and so far, it wasn’t reassuring to him that nobody had interrupted them. No show staff, no Stand Users, not even some rent-a-cop had yet gotten into the way of this.
As he made his way to a security room, quietly bemoaning the fact that he would never live down infiltrating a security room with that damned nickname Bad Apples had given him, his worst fears were confirmed.
His friend, his confidante, Cairo Satori was sitting in a swivel chair, watching screens displaying the entire mall and idly leaning their head into a metal baseball bat.
“Purp…” They spoke up without even turning to face him. “Wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon! I mean, with everywhere you’ve blocked me, privated your accounts… I was under the impression you needed some time away from the show.”
Purple hopped down, then, walking closer towards the chair, clearing his throat and pondering his words clearly.
“The show needs time away from the show, Cairo… You know damn well why I brought myself back. Come on. You know this isn’t right… It doesn’t have to be this, and even just delaying could save-”
“Delay, huh?” They stood, twirling that bat they’d always carried around. It didn’t worry Purple. He’d never seen them actually using it. “C’mon… You know it’s not that simple, buddy. I’m just trying to make sure everyone has a good time… Already, I’m cutting toxic people out of the show! Even when they’ll make it harder to make anything going forward, Caroline is gone! I’ll keep that producer on a really short leash! I am doing everything in my power to make sure that this goes well… C’mon, can’t you look on the bright side?”
“You… You already know my answer to that. You’ve betrayed my trust, Cairo. The trust of my uncle, of everyone you’ve worked with… Of this whole city!” He shifted in place, then, becoming a much more avian humanoid figure with its pose. “I am its lavender courage, and I am your friend! And as both, I cannot abide by-”
Cairo swang their bat, and as they did, the arms of a Stand emerged from their own hand and struck it as well, multiple times in quick succession.
By the time the bat impacted Purple, it was with enough force for the deeply resilient eternally-young ghost to be sent hurtling towards a wall, literally impacting it hard enough to leave an impression in its form, embedded and unconscious in a single swing. He was alive, and would walk this off, but he wouldn’t be getting back up today.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” they said, standing with the bat over their shoulder, ‘Peach Pit’ manifesting more fully by their side (drawn by the artist Boy George, as usual), “but I can tell we don’t have time to chat… I’ll send you a gift basket from the launch party, yeah?”
Then, their attention turned towards the others on the security room screens, addressing their Stand in the meantime, “uh, hey, Peach…”
“I’m on it,” the Stand answered, “Arthur Lifeson and Nix Ripa… I’m excited for this, honestly.”
“And you don’t need to know that I am to, honestly…” Cairo moved to press the intercom button.
“I heard violence!” Nix called out, balling his fists. “Purple found someone!” He began to rush forward, then, Arthur preparing to make a blade, only to be stopped by the crackling of an intercom button.
“Hello again! Wow, it really isn’t all that often that Being So Normal has repeat appearances, but that’s, what, twice in this promotional cycle alone?” Cairo’s voice rang through, then, and they continued, “I figured we’d see some trouble here, so I gave most of staff the day off… I knew it’d be types like you two who showed up, and honestly, I gotta say, despite the circumstances, I’m a bit psyched!”
“Cairo Satori!” Arthur spoke up then, waving his hands. “Put this madness to a close, before I have to put you to my blade! You need not fall victim to this any longer… To fight us is a waste of time!”
“Well, I’ve got time to kill, and nobody to talk to, now that my friend’s taking a bit of a nap. And besides, you think I’m gonna just let you destroy everything we’ve been working to build up because you don’t like a couple of the crew members? C’mon, have a reality check here! No way I’m gonna allow that… Especially not right now! Look, why not come talk to me after I’ve completely closed this Netflix deal?”
There was silence, then, and then they spoke up again.
“Oh, who am I kidding? We both know that this is only gonna end one way! If you wanna stop me from sending this show out for the whole world to know and love, and not just be another little piece of Los Fortuna’s super storied, super amazing history, then STOP me! I’m already sending Peach your way, and there’s no way the two of us will just get walked all over!”
Arthur shut his eyes in frustration, but Nix shook his shoulder. “We knew from the start it’d come to this. C’mon… Any more talking this through will be a waste of all our breaths.”
“Yeah! This pre-battle stuff goes on way too long, I swear! So much to cut down in post without missing the meat of it… But enough talking shop, yeah? Let’s get to what we’re here for… You wanna say it with me? …no? Okay, suit yourself!”
“OPEN THE GAME!”
Location:
A hallway to several storage rooms in Sweet FA Mall. The area here is 40 by 80 meters with each tile being 2.5 by 2.5 meters. The white tiles are completely out of bounds for this match. The light magenta tiles are the main hallway, the purple tiles are side hallways, and the red tiles are the rooms. Each room has a number associated with it for convenience, as shown by the purple numbers. The ceiling is 8 meters tall. The doorways are denoted by the dotted lines between the rooms and hallways.
The players start at the left end of the hallway and Cairo starts in the security room (room 5) to the right of the bottom center. Cairo’s Stand starts in the middle of the main hallway.
The grey X marked circles are security cameras on the ceiling that connect to the monitors that are represented by the yellow notched rectangles in room 5. The light blue rectangles in the main hallway are 4 meter tall metal shelves that house stage set up equipment such as stepladders, light fixtures, microphones, extension cables, construction tools, and anything else needed to set up or tear down a stage. All shelves are bolted to the ground.
The yellow stars are disks, tapes, harddrives and other recordings of the footage shot by Cairo’s show.
The walls are drywall while the floor is ceramic tiled.
Now onto the different rooms:

Room 1: Contains racks and cardboard bins of merchandise. The brown rectangles are cardboard bins of plushies and hats. The red circles are racks of clothing merchandise.
Room 2: Contains a mountain of chairs and other furniture within a 5 meter tall metal storage fence as represented by the light blue rectangle and the junk inside it. Each side of the fence has a chain locked door.
Room 3: Contains various cooking appliances and peripherals. The white rectangles are 4 meter tall metal storage shelves and the magenta rectangles are 5 meter tall metal storage containers. Basically any appliance that doesn’t fit on a shelf is put into one of the three containers.
Room 4: Contains two long tables as represented by the grey L-shaped rectangles. On these tables are neatly laid out items that were used in Round 2 Match 4, this means Riot Shields, Fireworks Cannons, Magnetic Ray Guns, Grappling Hook Guns, smoke bombs, Tar filled paintball guns, mannequins, body armor, skateboards, net launchers, fire extinguishers, step ladders, marbles, bowling balls, trampolines, shovels, steel chairs, and blankets. Only the crystal ball is missing. The blue circle is a barrel of fencing foils and the yellow rectangle is a banged up motorcycle that while not completely totaled is in pretty bad shape.
Room 5: The security room. It is rather bare, only housing the monitors set-ups to the security cameras and three swivel chairs to go with them.

Goal: RETIRE your opponents!
Additional Information:
As a reminder, White Tile areas are out-of-bounds for this match. If you willingly traverse through them you will be retired by a pair of mall cops.
Here is a shortened version of Cairo’s character sheet with all relevant information, the full sheet is linked below
Name: Cairo Satori
Age: 21
Gender: None, whose business is that anyways?
Species: Human
Occupation: Beloved Media Icon
Equipment: The newest smartphone, two sets of wireless earbuds for communicating directly with [Peach Pit] quietly, a bag of weed mints, and a baseball bat.
User Stats:
Strength: 3 (Too much effort to get properly strong- Cairo can throw as much effort into a hit as they need to in order to finish someone off after being brought to near-retirement by [Peach Pit], and that’s about the maximum they need.)
Agility: 2 (Never had to run after or from anything.)
Endurance: 2 (Not one to hold up under sustained pressure for very long, hoping to duck back from any conflicts except where absolutely necessary.)
Conduction: 2 (Able to personally carry their Stand’s damaging energy through them, and has a general knowledge of how to apply it.)
Vibing: 3 (It's for vibe checks- the necessity of finishing an opponent off personally, in a fast and hard strike. The full force of their strength, loaded into one moment rather than a series of fests. Also, they do have good vibes.)
Stand Name: [Peach Pit]
Stand Appearance: On the bulkier side of stand builds, Peach Pit has some resemblance to a knight in plate armor- big, dark metallic pauldrons, a chestplate, an assortment of straps and buckles, etc. The surface of the stand looks very much like a sunset with its colors flipped around. Its face is smooth except for a simple minimalist icon of the sun, and the rest of the head is mostly covered by a knight's helmet as well. A gradient of sorts goes from the head of the stand down to its armored feet, starting with an orange-red and ending in black with white specks like stars in the night sky.
About/Oddities: The stand is dangerous, outright. The manifestation of an incredible will for a very specific life gave it incredibly high offensive might, and although Cairo has depleted its very low ‘potential,’ nothing else has decreased in the slightest.
Additionally, [Peach Pit] is sentient, and thinks of itself as a close friend and bodyguard to Cairo. Despite being able to dish out high damage, it is very much a friendly, calm and collected individual, having respect even for those it has to fight. As such, [Peach Pit] leaves RETIRING opponents up to its user completely. An enemy can be beaten down, but will still be able to pull together and carry on albeit impeded until Cairo personally finishes them off. This isn't simply a choice- if instructed to keep pressure on an opponent who's down but not out, its strikes can indefinitely inflict serious pain and yet never be quite enough to injure a foe to the point where they're considered RETIRED.
Due to the bold weakness in this, for how combat inefficient and easily hurt its user is, Peach doesn't have full damage transference. Instead, it can be destroyed repeatedly- Cairo takes one instance of C power damage upon its destruction, and it can be resummoned from Cairo's position after ten seconds.
Peach's presenting identity has been influenced by Cairo's insistence against defining things that way, to the point of being comfortably seen subjectively as anything. Peach will respond to any pronouns without questioning it.
Stand Stats:
Power: A(The stand can exert a great amount of power in its attacks)
Speed: A (Its movements are very fast and its attacks can travel just as quickly)
Range: B (50 meters)
Durability: E (Subpar durability, however when destroyed the user takes C power damage and the stand can be summoned back to Cairo’s side after 10 seconds.)
Precision: C (Generally decent in its movements, but its projectile attacks only move in a straight line once fired and can only be stored within conductive materials. In non-conductive materials it would keep traveling)
Ability: Peach Pit lacks a complex ability, as far as one would expect. Rather than intricate effects, its hits themselves can simply be conducted through material similarly the way that electricity does, with distinct variation based on the conductivity of the material. Within conductive material, damage is stored up much like a battery - the moment someone touches the "battery", the damage transfers directly to it on the point of contact. This means that if Peach were to punch a metal rod and someone were to touch it, they would feel the full brunt of Peach's attack the moment they do so. A battery remains charged for up to fifteen seconds, and at any point if it hasn’t been touched and discharged already, Cairo can pick any direction from where the battery is in contact with non-conductive materials to activate the next type of attack.
Within non-conductive material, either deployed through battery or direct strike, damage "travels", moving forwards in a straight line at A speed in the same direction it came from. This wave of damage can be seen as it travels, with slight shimmers of light and a crackling sound emanating from where it's currently positioned.
Damage cannot travel further than B range from Cairo.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Black Hill Regalia	Arthur Lifeson and Nix Ripa	“The thing in Hayato's hand was definitely a handy cam. It doesn't seem to be in this room right now...” This show is a sweet-sounding idea, but it’s so corrupt to its core that you can’t allow it to spread any further than it has. Destroy as many physical backings of the recordings Cairo has made for their show as you can over the course of your strat!
Being So Normal	Cairo Satori	“I even took a video of the cat-like plant you've got in the attic!” This show… You know it’s been an unsavory road, one you wish you could have managed differently, but the good it can do, the way the world might finally begin to understand the ugly and wonderful truths of Stand Users and appreciate them more as a part of their lives… You will celebrate that. Take creative inspiration from actions that took place in matches related officially to ‘Being So Normal!’ That is to say, these 5 matches, R1M5,R1M23,R1M29,R2M4, and R3M8!

Cayo Perico Heist Guide (Edited)

PRESS START<
Hey everyone since the update in GTA this newest heist has been the most profitable and easiest way to make money. So I wanted to create a guide to help others master this heist, and to help those who are struggling with it.
Note: This guide is for new players, first timers, and anyone who is struggling to complete this heist. Please use this as reference to deepen your understanding of the heist. If you have a better strat, more power to you. This however is my strat, criticism is welcome.
So to begin, you will have to buy the Kosatka (submarine), which is located on warstock for 2.2mil. It also has upgrades you can buy but the most noteworthy upgrade is definitely the Sparrow upgrade (1.8mil) this upgrade will make traveling back and forth much easier since your sub is located in the sea.
Noteworthy things about sub:

If you hover above your sub with a sparrow you can instantly enter it.
You can get free snacks at the cafeteria
You can fast travel; if you never completed the heist its 10k, after completion its 2k
Your toreador vehicle can enter through the bottom
You can call dingy if you can not afford the sparrow

After you get the sub you’ll be introduced to characters and will have to go to LSIA, where you will travel to Cayo Perico, after you arrive everything henceforth is pretty straightforward. After you escape the party you will have to enter the main island through the checkpoint ( Google Boom Gate), PLEASE DO NOT SWIM AROUND THE ISLAND. You will waste so much time doing so, just run through the gated door next to the checkpoint and avoid entering enemy cones, watch for vehicles and watchtower cones. The biggest things to scope out are the infiltration points and exfil points; the airport strip is already marked, the biggest point to scope out after you hack the cameras is the drainage tunnel. This will require swimming, the drainage tunnel is located on the coast of El Rubio’s compound you can dive and find it, Pavel will give you a vocal cue when you find it. When you are looking through cameras after hacking make sure to cycle through every camera, turning to find secondary points, stop until you get back to the Panther Cage. Don’t bother scoping anything else like bolt cutter’s or grappling hooks, because you will not need them. I added a map of Cayo Perico to show where everything is, please note that there are many ways to do this heist this is just my way of doing so. After you found the drainage tunnel and finished your objective, get caught and make your way to the airport strip to leave. Also note there are different Primary targets the first time will always be the files the second will vary, look in the tips for scoping out to see the rankings.

Credit to Sportskeeda
Tips for Scoping out

On your second time doing the heist you will start at the air strip. There are 2 dirt bikes located at the strip one by the entrance to the strip and one by the solar panels next to the power station. You can take the bikes and drive up and over the checkpoint to get to the communications tower faster. At the checkpoint to the left there's a little stone wall in front of the guards tower. You can drive the bike up the ledge and get over it, for a quicker way you can also drive the bike up the ledge a little bit in front of the wall to also get over.
If you solo, scope out any important secondary point. There's a secondary point in the airstrip hangar, at the entrance of the hangar look right to see the box you can climb, use this to get to the second floor to get the secondary point. (To clarify check the targets spawns and only mark coke and weed; do not mark weed at the strip and north dock only coke, mark weed at the main dock)
When you are heading to the communications tower to hack, pay attention to the guard, if there is a guard, the box is located up the tower, if there is no guard it's on ground level.
You can kill yourself or get caught to go back to the airstrip.
You can also poison the guards water supply to weaken them but unless you're going aggressive don’t bother.
There are boats out in water you can steal but I would only do this to scope out the drainage tunnel the first time.
You only need to scope infiltration points and exfils points once, secondary targets and tools must be scoped out every time.
Secondary targets and tools are RNG based so if you're looking for tool and it’s not there it’s because of RNG
Secondary Targets Rank: Gold>Cocaine>Paintings>Weed>Cash
These also will fill your bag different
Gold=66% Cocaine=50% Paintings=50% Weed=37.5% Cash=25%
The price for secondary targets are RNG based but Gold, cocaine, and Paintings have the most value
Secondary Targets Values are RNG based.
Gold=332k, Cocaine=220k, Paintings=189k, Weed=147k, Cash=80k-90kCredit goes to u/FMT_WL1
Primary Targets Ranked: Panther Statue 1.9M>Pink Diamond 1.4M> Bearer Bonds 1.1M> Ruby necklace 1M> Tequila 900k

Preps
In order to start the heist you must do preps, for this heist you can do however many you want but for this guide you will only need to do 5. Keep your sub in Los Santos until the fifth prep mission, if you decide to do the longfin prep you can keep your sub at Los Santos.
Prep 1/ The Cutting Torch:
This prep mission is pretty straightforward, head to the construction site and land close enough. Before heading in, try to locate the yellow hard hat and put it on, this will make the enemy non-hostile, which makes for an easy mission. Your job is to locate the torch in a tool box. You can find it by looking in the box, it's a blue torch, search the box and head back to your sub. Also when searching for the box try to avoid staying in the enemy cones for too long and bumping into workers because this will make the enemies hostile if you do these.
Prep 2/ Safe Code or Plasma Cutter
There are two missions. The mission will vary on your primary, if you have the bearer bonds it’s the safe code, anything else it’s the Plasma Torch.
Safe Code Mission: Head to the casino at the entrance, after entering turn left and enter the elevator (if you have a penthouse you can go up without entering the parking garage). You will have to find a car in the parking garage. It's a yellow cheap car, it never changes. After finding it you will get the card which will allow you to head up into the penthouses, after getting up there search for two guards and head shot with a suppressed weapon. If done right you will calmly walk into the apartment, you can then search the penthouse for the target, he will never change. It's a guy with a cowboy hat, kill him and leave the penthouse, you will have to fight your way out. If you slam into the entrance of the penthouse you will have to fight your way in. After getting the code get back to your sub.
Plasma Cutter Mission: This is pretty straightforward, for ease take your oppressor instead of your Sparrow for higher mobility. You will have to head to the office to get the plasma cutter, but it’s not there. Pavel will instruct you to find the board and take a picture of it, the board is easy to find. Afterwards he will locate them and ping it on your map, they usually always spawn near Vinewood hills or the beach. Take them out with your oppressor missiles and fly over the bag and leave cause they will spawn two cars to shoot you.
Prep 3/ Fingerprint Cloner: This mission is simple, you will have to head to a location on your map, outside are two cameras, ignore them and walk into the garage, after entering take cover behind the box forward and blind shot everyone with your shotgun. After the enemies are dead hack the laptop in the back and head to the archives. Outside the archives are cameras, shoot them and go inside. Pavel will tell you that you're looking for a small card, it always spawns in the back in the desk square, grab it and head back.
Prep 4/ Weapon Load out: Always buy the suppressors, as for which load out I suggest the Conspirator due to the sticky bombs (there is a bug where you will get suppressors without buying them, just in case purchase it to be safe). There are two possible missions you can be given. One is in Los Santos in an office, for the other you will have to follow a Valkyrie up North.
Weapons Possible Mission 1: Pavel will send you to an office in Los Santos you can either go through the ground entrance or the roof, I suggest the roof entrance but no matter what you will have to fight inside. Once inside clear the office and head to the back to find the gun safe, it’s always located left of the desk on the wall, hack the laptop on the desk and open the safe. Grab the weapons and leave. If you enter on the roof you can fly back but two chopper’s will spawn, shoot their gunman on the sides and hellies will be useless. Another suggestion is to leave immediately, and snack up to restore health. On ground level the hellies will still spawn again shoot the gunman and head back to the sub.
Weapons Possible Mission 2: You will have to head to Elysian Island to find the Valkyrie you do not need to stay close to it. You can predict it’s direction and head North to clear the camp on foot, also avoid destroying the Avenger and the Valkyrie. Do not destroy the Valkyrie until it becomes a target on your mini map or you will fail the prep. After clearing the camp head into the Avenger and kill the enemies, afterwards parachute out and leave before more Merrywheather show up.
Prep 5/ Kosatka: ( You can also do the Longfin, but I prefer Kosatka as an approach vehicle.)
This is a simple mission, after starting it head into your sub driver seat and fast travel to the nearest location near the ping. After you arrive dive your sub over to the location, once you get near get on your periscope and missile the boats and the helli. You can sink your sub and engage auto-pilot under water giving you better access to the enemies sub. Try to avoid beaching your sub on shallow water and put it in the middle of the yellow circle. Leave the driver seat and exit your sub, dive into the water and look for the other sub with a yellow marker on top. After entering the enemies sub you must locate the jammer. You have two paths, one on the right, this is usually where it spawns, take the ladder down and watch your corners cause enemies are brutal in this mission. After entering the engine room look for a black box with a blue screen at the bottom of the stairs if it's not there head back the way you came. Take the left path and make your way to the control room WATCH THOSE CORNERS. If it's not there head to the back of the control room and take the stairs down, follow the path it will lead you into the torpedo room, that another spawn. Leave and head back to your sub.
Prep 5/ Longfin
This mission is located in Los Santos basically you can take a phantom (Semi-truck) to the police station to pick up a boat of which you can use as an approach for the heist. This mission is simple: you basically go and pick up a phantom, afterwards you drive to impound to pick up the longfin. You will be met with enemies. The one I did was the cop impound, you can enter with your phantom and drive out. It's best to clear the area, and let the cops kill you for an easier delivery (you can't call Lester). You can use your own Phantom wedge to clear vehicles out of the way.
(during the heist you can use this get loot before you enter the drainage tunnel , this can be quicker way if your loot is out the way)
This includes the scope out and the preps
This includes the scope out and the preps
Tips For Preps

The biggest tip is the Sparrow, this will make prepping a joke, the only time you won’t need it is during the plasma cutter and Kosatka missions, but that's due to mobility.
You can see the cutting torch it’s blue
You can blow up the Valkyrie and end the mission to get the office mission to save time, I highly suggest this ( I do this mostly because you have to follow the helli up North and wait for it to land.)
The preps are the same, they never change
Save the Kosatka heist for last so you can do all 4 preps in Los Santos

The Heist
Time to Start the Heist. Go to screen and tab to Finale and shift over to continue to start the mission. Once you get to the selection process pick your options. It should be Kosatka or Longfin, Drainage, Drainage, Main docks or Kotsatka, and Day Time (there's very little difference between day or night). If you're playing with others you must hurry through the selection screen because if you take too long the cuts will reset due to a bug.
Squad Run
When you begin the mission you will have to make your way to the drainage tunnel, if you chose the Kosatka you will have to swim to the tunnel, but if you chose the Longfin you will have to drive the boat to the tunnel. Once you arrive you will have to cut the bars at the gate, a suggestion to do this is to go in a circle three times and cut whatever remains. Afterwards swim through the tunnel and enter the compound.
Compound
Once you enter the compound you will have two directions to go, the left or the right. My way is to go to the left, up the stairs is a guard next to the storage staring out at the water, head shot him and make your way to the courtyard. If you followed my instructions the two guards at the pool will be to your left. In the courtyard there should be a guard coming, wait for him to stop and head shot him. After that, ready your shot at the two guards at the pool, choose your target. Since you're in a squad, ready your shot, as a suggestion one person can count down from three to one to shoot at the same time to eliminate any mistakes ( these two guards usually drop the gate keys). The next is to eliminate the juggernaut, the way to identify him is by his red cone and red skull icon. He can be killed by a single headshot, if you and your squad were quick with the guards at the pool he should be arriving, take him out. In front of the pool there are two separate guards, one will be in front of the office building to identify him, the camera is facing the pool, if you time it correctly he will be to the right of the camera making for an easy elimination. The other guard is North East of the front of the pool, or to the right of the guard you just killed. You can eliminate him if you want too, the reason I do so is because me and my mates can all access the storages without worry. Next are three guards at the office, to identify them they will have red cones. One of the guards will be moving North towards the main gate and then will move South towards the pool. You have two options, one is to wait for him to head North and take him out, or you can head shot him when he’s coming South. To achieve this there are stairs directly in front of the pool, if you take the stairs up to the right you now have enough elevation to see the guards head ( this is tricky to explain which is why I will also have a video example for visual clarification.) After taking the guard out you can head up the stairs into the office area, once up the stairs head to the right, for clarification the pool will be to the left and main gate to your right. Head down the corridor if you have done this correctly the guards back will be facing you, take him out. To your left are stairs that leads to the office, take them up, at this point the guard at the top will start to move. You have two options, one you can wait behind a corner and hit the guard or if you are quick enough the guard will stop for a brief moment, giving a chance for an easy headshot. At this point you can enter the office, where you can grab the second keycard, the first keycard is dropped by any guard you have killed ( it usually drops on the first kill, but this is RNG based). In the office there are three things you can do, one is you can hack the elevator which leads to the basement, ignore this hack. The other things are either a painting that can randomly spawn in the office, and a safe on the right wall in the back of the office. Open the safe to get anywhere between 50k to 100k, THIS DOES NOT TAKE SPACE. When you have everything, start to loot up and fill your bag by going to the storages located around the compound, to open the storages you will need the two keycards and two people. You and your squad mates will have to swipe your card at the same time to open the door, another suggestion is to use the three to one countdown to sync swipes. The South Storage will have a guard moving, the guard is located to the left of the two guards you killed at the pool, take him out and watch for the camera. After you are done, please make sure to save space for the basement storage, make your way to the basement gates, they are located beneath the office building to the left and right, it does not matter which gate you choose. Once you are in the basement you will be presented with a hack, it may look daunting but in fact it is rather simple, I suggest matching the top first and making your way down. Afterwards loot up and grab the Primary Target, it is really straightforward to do so. At this time Pavel will tell the players that more guards have arrived, if you have followed thus far, you do not have to worry. Exit the basement, and head North to the main gate there should two guards, one will be moving the other stationary. You can take the stationary guard, you can also take the guard moving but if you and your squad can make it to the gate without doing so, go ahead. The host will be prompted to select the escape route, select it and a cutscene will begin. After you will be located outside the compound.
Kill in this order
Outside The Compound
You and your squad will be outside, if you are satisfied with your loot head left to the coast, you can jump off the cliff into the water. Once in the water you can swim off the island ,just keep heading straight and eventually you will have escaped. You can also try to steal a boat; note that some have claimed that boats may not spawn but if you manage to grab a boat this can make getting to and from much quicker. If you are missing loot head forward and take the guard next to the bike out, one person will have to head left toward a guard near a helli take him out and plant four stickies on the chopper. At the same time the other members will turn right towards the checkpoint, there should be three guards two together and one separate, and a camera behind the two guards. Take the one separate out, then the two guards, and the camera. Around the checkpoint are three bikes plus the bike with the very first guard killed. One of the bikes is hidden to the left of the checkpoint booth the other is directly in front. Start making your way towards the main docks, turn right into the jungle the moment you leave the stopping checkpoint. Pay attention to the guard tower to your right and avoid his cone, at this time Pavel will tell the squad that El Rubio’s helli is on the move, activate the stickies and he will retreat away from the island. Once you are close enough to the docks go on foot, your objective is to loot and take the boat off the island. There are two secondary loot locations, one is a warehouse with a guard and camera outside, take them out and loot. The other is located to the right with two separate guards, please refer to Sportskeeda map to see the location. Take them out and loot. Afterwards there are 3-4 guards you have to take out at the docks, to leave without alerting the guard. Two guards standing next to the boat, and one or two stationary guards looking out at the water. After clearing the guards, grab the boat and escape Cayo Perico. Congrats you have now completed the heist.
Note: You can approach the compound in any way you choose, my way is a bit complicated but with practice you can clear the compound at the same time as other routes. Feel free to adjust the route in anyway, my route is just a reference to get an idea as to how to approach the compound.
Note: I do it the same exact way when I solo, but since I’m solo I can skip guards and head to my objective. For the Solo run I go for cocaine, you NOT have to do this. I do this to maximize my profit, and since I am competent in my abilities I can clear the mission without many mistakes.
Solo Run
The strat is the same except it will be harder to take out the two guards by the pool, the major difference is you can not open the storage's to get gold or loot, you might be lucky to get painting in the office but that's RNG. A good tip when taking on double guards is to find a good angle, after killing one the other will flinch, he will prop his head up giving you the shot. You can scope the rest of island to find the most profitable loot which is cocaine, if there is none then get weed and cash (by scoping out I’m referring to checking the spawns for coke, if there is none at North docks and the Air Strip I ignore them, I do not mark every item only Coke and any profitable items at Main Docks). After leaving the compound there will be a guard in front of you next to a bike, kill him. Turn left and head to the next guy next to a helli, kill him and plant four stickies on the heli, do not activate them yet. Go back the way you came, there will be three guards at a checkpoint two together, one standing away. Kill the one standing away and then prepare to kill the two guards, after their dead shoot the camera and jump over the stop rail. You will have to be quick because a car will drive towards the checkpoint so make sure to do all that quickly. You have two options: you can swim off the island and finish the heist, or you can head to Main Docks to fill your bag. If you chose the latter run North East into the jungle towards the guards tower, but far enough away so he can’t see you. On your way to Main Dock Pave El Rubio helli will show up on the map, wait for Pavels vocal cue when he tells you that Rubio is in his helli, and then activate your stickies, boom Rubio will retreat. Now you can make it to your objective in peace. You can loot at the Marijuana fields but you may have to take out three guard towers and a single camera, as well as two guards near the fields. I’ll leave this to your gut if you think you can make it to the warehouse without messing up please do so. If you want to head to North Dock and the Airstrip you either can swim there which will eat a lot of time or you can take the boat at the docks to get there faster. Trade off is that if you swim it will take up time, but if you take the boat you will have to clear out guards to safely remove the boat from the dock. If you are satisfied with anything you get then just clear the area with loot and swim or steal the boat. This is for the Airstrip if you do not plan on going here IGNORE this. The Airstrip is an easy place to navigate since a lot of the guards are far from each other so you can clear the airstrip easily. There are two loot spawns one at the hangar with one guard, and a warehouse with two separate guards. There's guard outside the hangar kill him, and go inside, if your loot is on the second floor, look for a forklift and pick up a box lift and it up then press the box against the back of the hangar below a blue tarp you can then climb the lift and the box to get access to the loot. The other airstrip loot spawn is an easy place to clear, one guard will be moving you can head shot him from the hangar, at the warehouse there’s a camera shoot it and inside the warehouse is a guard questioning his career choice, kill him. If you need to head to North Dock head there by bike or by foot, you can loot without killing any guard. After you're done just swim off the Island, or take the boat. Congrats, you have just completed the heist solo.
Note: I will be adding a second strat to clear the compound, the reason for this is because a Redditor provided the strat. I do not mind adding his strat, but I must remind everyone that you can tackle the heist in any way you feel comfortable with.
I missed that gate keys, so I killed more than I should have.
Solo Run Second Strat:
Essentially, it is the same as the other one, except for going left you go right. Your first target are the two guards at the pool. They should be to the right of you, find a good angle and head shot the first one, wait for the second guard to finish flinching and kill him. The juggernaut should be making his way towards you, wait for him to exit the camera’s view and kill him. If the gate key drops pick it up and kill the guard in front of the pool he should be past the camera. Take out the camera and wait for the moving red cone guard to turn his direction North, once he turns around go up the stairs and kill him. Move towards the second red cone guard his back should be facing you, hit him and ascend the stairs. The last guard on top should be moving. You can either wait behind the corner and hit him or speed around the corner to head shot him, it’s up to you. Loot the office safe and make your way to the basement. Finally, use the gate keys to open the basement, hack and grab the primary target. Afterwards head up towards the main gate, a new guard will spawn, you can wait for the moving guard to move out of range, and kill the stationary guard. From there you can run to the gate and exit the compound.
I had brain fart at the hacking lmao
Heist Tips

You can swim off the island from any direction
You can steal boats for faster escape but that's up you
You can sticky El Rubio’s helli for to get him to retreat
In the compound you can jump ledges after clearing the enemies
For double guards, get a good angle after you head shot one guy the other will flinch, you can get the shot slightly after, or you can risk shooting him until he’s dead.
Guards do not react to dead bodies, in day time their visibility is the same as night, an Isolated guard can’t alert if everyone is dead. You can run, guards will only react if you're close, if you miss a shot and it gets near a guard or makes noise this will alert.
You can jump into the ocean to die quickly if you alert inside the compound
If you find a key you can open the desk to get a golden gun
If your underwater and a patrol boats cone is on you, they can’t see you
Cones can be obstructed by objects
? Civilians may be able to alert guard?
Solo is more profitable than playing with friends due to not sharing a cut
If you don’t have to kill don’t, less interaction is good
Being stealthy is the best way, if you alert restart
You can aim in and hold the sprint button to walk faster
To activate hard mode, you have to start the heist when it becomes available
Try to avoid killing guards near the camera cones, the reason being is because this can alert the guards if the camera sees the dead body. Ironically, guards do not alert they seem one.

Game Over>
That's it ladies and gentleman, I hope this guide has helped anyone. I’m aware I’ve definitely went too in depth in this guide but I enjoy making it, Happy Grinding -Leaus

GME: The HEDGE Funds GAME; Pigs Get Fat, Hogs Get Slaughtered

Jan. 20 Daily HUT Content - What is new?

Hellooooo itsss Cooooolin!!! It’s Wednesday, HUUUUMPPP DAAAAYY! We’re almost to the weekend! How was everyone’s day!? Let me know down beloooww!!
— sorry for slow roll out today! —
Touch the text down below if you are new to one of these posts, it will help you.
click
....without further a due, here’s the new cards. Thanks as always, EA!

Team of the Week

January 20-January 27

Forwards

LW - C - RW
Line 1
Phil Kessel - 89 OVR - ARI / RW - LTL¹ , MAG¹
Nicklas Backstrom - 89 OVR - WAS / C - GLA¹ , PP¹
Mark Stone - 87 OVR - LVK / RW - LTL¹ , PP¹
Line 2
Tomas Tatar - 88 OVR - MTL / C - T¹ , WM¹
Elias Lindholm - 86 OVR - CGY / C - GLA¹ , MAG¹
Alex Debrincat - 85 OVR - CHI / RW - SPE¹ , T¹
Line 3
Brandon Tanev - 81 OVR - PEN / LW - WH¹ , T¹
Jeff Carter - 86 OVR - LAK / C - WH¹ , WM¹
Andrei Svechnikov - 84 OVR - CAR / RW - HOW¹ , LTL¹
Line 4
Brennan Othmann - 77 OVR - FIRE / LW - SPA¹ , SPE¹
Hannes Björninen - 78 OVR - PEL / C - PP¹ , SWA¹
Fabrice Herzog - 78 OVR - DAV / RW - H and S¹ , MAG¹

Defense

LD - RD
Line 1
Duncan Keith - 88 OVR - CHI / LD - SH¹ , WH¹
Shea Weber - 88 OVR - MTL / RD - HOW¹ , SH¹
Line 2
Ty Smith - 83 OVR - NJD / LD - GLA¹ , MAG¹
Devon Toews - 82 OVR - COL / LD - SPE¹ , WM¹
Line 3
Eric Gelinas - 80 OVR - ROG / LD - BAR¹ , GLA¹
Graham Sward - 77 OVR - SPO / LD - DIS¹ , HOW¹

Goalies

Robin Lehner - 86 OVR - LVK / G - DIS¹ , H and S¹
Semyon Varlamov - 86 OVR - NYI / G - BAL¹ , BAR¹
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Primetimes

NHL

Nathan Mackinnon - 90 OVR - COL / C - PP¹ , SH¹
Jake Guentzel - 88 OVR - PEN / LW - MAG¹ , WM¹
Blake Wheeler - 88 OVR - WPJ / RW - LTL¹ , WH¹
Josh Morissey - 87 OVR - WPJ / LD - SH¹ , WH¹
Patric Hornqvist - 86 OVR - FLA / RW - LTL¹ , SPE¹
Dominik Kubalík - 85 OVR - CHI / LW - LTL¹ , WM¹
Tom Wilson - 85 OVR - WAS / RW - HOW¹ , WH¹
Jack Hughes - 85 OVR - NJD / C - LTL¹ , PP¹
Mackenzie Blackwood - 84 OVR - NJD / G - 6’4” / 224 lbs - H and S¹ , SPA¹
Brian Elliot - 84 OVR - PHI / G - DIS¹ , BAL¹
Carter Verhaeghe - 81 OVR - FLA / C - T¹ , HOW¹
Miles Wood - 81 OVR - NJD / LW - HOW¹ , WM¹
Teddy Blueger - 80 OVR - PEN / C - T¹ , H and S¹

Other Leagues

Samuel Ersson - 80 OVR - BRY / G - BAR¹ , SWA¹
Riley Kidney - 77 OVR - TIT / C - DIS¹ , WH¹
John Nyberg - 77 OVR - BRY / LD - BAR¹ , HOW¹
Aaron Palushaj - 77 OVR - DAV / RW - SPA¹ , SPE¹
Elmeri Eronen - 77 OVR - HPK / RD - SH¹ , SWA¹
• • • • • • • • • • - - - - - - - - - • • • • • • • • • • • •

Packs Available

1D 20H
• Jumbo Elite Pack - 50k C / 1k P
20 items, with at least 11 80+ OVR Players
• Elite Players Pack - 37.5k C / 750 P
10 items, all Gold Players, with at least 8 80+ OVR Players
• Prime Pack - 10k C / 200 P
10 items, at least 5 players with at least 3 Gold Players and 2 NHL Players

P.S.

• HUT CHAMPS REWARDS OUT - 6am EST
• Rivals Rewards - 5pm EST — where did you place?!
• New TOTW - 5pm EST
• Will Babcock return!?
• Hockey in History Today
Other News
• Welcome President Joe Biden
——————

What’s to Come?

• Squad Battles Rewards - Tomorrow at 5pm EST
• RUSH New Season - Tomorrow at 5pm EST
• Stützle and Friends leave packs - FRIDAY AT 5PM EST
• NEW EVENT CARDS COME OUT - FRIDAY AT 5PM EST
—————

Summary of the day

Quick Read
Best Forward of the Day - TOTW - is PHHIIILLL THEE THRILLL OVR 89 with the syn PASSIN PLAAAYMAKERR AND MAGICIAANN
Best Defence of the Day - TOTW - is SHEAAA WEBBERRR OVR 88 with the syn HOOWITZERR AND SHUUUT DOOWNN
/////
Best Forward of the Day - PT - is NAATHAN MAACKINNONN OVR *90 with the syn PASSSINN PLAAYYMAKERR AND SHUUTDOWNN
Best Defence of the Day - PT - is JOOSHH MOOORRISSSEYY OVR 87 with the syn WOORK HORSEE AND SHUUUTDOWNN
• Rivals Rewards Today!!!
———— —— ———

Important Notice

TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCTS!! When you are meeting new people, a new place, job, or situations — TRUST YOURSELF! Trust what you feel. If you are feeling bad vibes, uncomfortableness, don’t let yourself get sucked into something you don’t feel comfortable with.... go with the flow on what you feel... be bold. Be you. Be true... and you will go far - I promise!!
Life is going to be full of opportunities — just make sure you don’t miss them !!!!
——— ——— ———- ———- ———- ——-

Interested in Stocks?

EA’s Stock Price, after hours - Jan. 20
$ 145.60 (usd) —- Currency Converter
we looked at the stock at $137.54 usd
—— That is a difference of ( $8.06 / 5.86% ) —
Disclaimer - I am not a financial advisor. It is your money, please do your own due diligence. I am not responsible for your money. This is *not** advice. I added this section for an added educational purposes only. Thanks*
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NEED A SOUNDTRACK TO LISTEN TO?

I made this for everyone. I’ll update it whenever I feel like it, but its been often!

WHAT 10 SONGS DO YOU GUYS WANT TO REACH 1.2k SONG? How are you not listening to this playlist already!?
Comment songs to add, and please give feedback! It’s much appreciated!!
I currently have “Chasing Cars” by “Snow Patrol” stuck in my head.... which you can play, recently added to the playlist!
Sidenote - How do you guys like the playlist!? I have a friend who makes music...and I really want to surprise him with some new people listening to his music... if you wanna help me, please click Here!! it would mean a lot to me!!
———-

Sites To Bookmark!

If you click here you will be redirected to bilasport. Bilasport is the best Online Streaming site for your entertainment needs for all sports! (Not affiliated)
A great streaming source recommended by NHLStreams is SurgeSport. Click on Hockey and you’ll be good to go!
Want to make your dream team, and show others what you’ve been working on, and much more? I will redirect you HERE!.
Here’s a helpful pack guide for you! Click!
Want to know how the market is holding up? With a simple TAP! you will be on the newly fresh made website for the HUT market, made by one of the guys on the sub!
.... what do the stats on a card mean? Is my card I want / pulled good? Click here to find out!!
When is my favourite team playing? When do they play!? Here you can click on this link, and tap on your favourite team. From there, tap “Schedule” . You can add this to your homescreen on iPhone by clicking the square with the upwards arrow, scrolling down, and tapping “Add to Home Screen”
——- —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —- —— —-

Fighting a Gambling Addiction?

Don’t feel scared to click here. Winning is SO much louder than losing. Know that you are NEVER alone. We are all here for eachother, and it is never too late to get help. I am here for you.
This is a VERY important thread, especially if you are new to HUT. Here!
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20 / 365
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Thanks for reading.
I’m always welcome to feedback, please let me know what I can improve on.
If there’s anything missing, please let me know!
Take care, happy gaming! TODAY IS NATIONAL CHEESE LOVERS DAY!!
Do you like cheese?
• Coolin Killin It
(Life is like a puzzle, you just have to find the right piece.)

USA Today article

'Looking down their nose at you': GameStop frenzy showed a fresh contempt for hedge funds. Why do Americans hate them? Updated 2:25 pm EST Feb. 11, 2021 In the middle of a pandemic and slow economic recovery, Americans think they’ve identified their Wall Street villain: hedge funds. Their nemesis is summed up in a few searing images: a hedge fund manager who makes millions betting that the subprime mortgage market will collapse, without warning them. Or another relaxing on a yacht as the economy tanks. Years of anger culminated late last month when a group of angry small-time investors on Reddit took on a few of those firms in the GameStop “short squeeze” frenzy. That spurred millions of others to join in, as their effort to drive up the price of a stock perceived as undervalued soon shifted to a campaign to “Stick it to Wall Street." They used the "squeeze" to rally the share price and make profits for themselves while forcing the hedge funds who had bet it would fall to buy it to prevent greater losses. What are these funds, and where does this resentment come from? Hedge funds, known for using higher risk investing strategies, are private investment vehicles that typically wealthy individuals use to get higher returns. They control more than $3 trillion in assets globally. They've angered many Americans by gutting companies such as former American retail icon Sears, causing layoffs and engaging in questionable financial practices that contributed to the near collapse of the U.S. financial system in 2008, experts say. 'This is life changing': Meet the Redditors behind the GameStop saga “Most people see it as guys in suits looking down their nose at you,” says Adam Bixler, 28, an active user on the WallStreetBets Reddit forum, whose members led the charge against the funds. “How I feel is probably how a lot of people feel when thinking about the financial crisis and the massive wealth inequality that exists in this country.” Radio Shack, Toys ‘R’ Us and Payless ShoeSource, along with mall-based retailers such as the Limited, Wet Seal, Claire’s and Aeropostale faced further financial woes after hedge funds and private equity firms loaded them up with debt. A fight is raging in the stock market: Should you worry about your 401(k)? Where to get vaccines: CVS, Walgreens to begin delivering COVID-19 vaccines on Friday “The idea that you can crack open a hedge fund like a piñata and redistribute all this money to people in the form of a short squeeze is very appealing,” says Bixler, who lives in Boonton, New Jersey, and works as a product manager for a company that makes software and tools for the advertising industry. “These are the stimulus checks that everyone wanted.” Proponents of hedge funds say the firms identify and support distressed industries such as retailers and newspapers. These funds are owned by groups of big investors pooling the savings of millions of unionized workers, such as teachers and firefighters, who count on hedge funds to grow and protect their nest eggs. Even so, hedge funds are viewed as vultures by many Americans. Kaysha Apodaca, an emergency room nurse in Dallas, was furious last summer when she lost thousands of dollars after CytoDyn, a biotechnology company she owns, was hammered following a negative report from a “short selling” research firm, about one of CytroDyn's drugs in clinical trials. The post with the research was later pulled. This year, Apodaca thought she missed the opportunity to jump in and buy GameStop or AMC, so she supported the Reddit campaign against hedge funds by investing a few thousand dollars into shares of Nokia, another beaten-down stock discussed on the forum. “I hate hedge funds. Even if this goes to zero, I’m OK with it. I’m not selling, just to prove a point,” Apodaca said. “Hedge funds have unfairly made money off retail investors for years. Now they’re getting a taste of their own medicine.” For Iris Findlay of Orlando, Florida, joining the movement was a way for Americans to show their strength in numbers. “I’m definitely not OK that there are so many billionaires hoarding their wealth while people are struggling, especially during the pandemic,” said Findlay, 31, who is disabled and retired from the Air Force. A large portion of hedge-fund assets are owned by institutional investors, such as pension funds and endowments. Hedge fund research has been critical in exposing an array of accounting fraud scandals in recent decades, including the one involving energy firm Enron. “Hedge funds do play a very important role in the financial ecosystem, but at the same time, they have a PR problem,” says Andrew Lo, a finance professor at MIT Sloan School of Management. They are an easy target, experts say, because some high-profile managers' massive wealth offends Americans who struggle to make ends meet. Michael Burry, founder of Scion Asset Management, is an investor whose billion-dollar bet against the housing market was chronicled in Michael Lewis' book "The Big Short." He personally collected $100 million and made $750 million in profits for his investors. These managers “are seen as multibillionaires that really don’t care about the public good and are focused on enriching themselves and their investors,” Lo says. “But I think that’s a caricature, especially given that hedge funds now have become much more institutionalized as pension funds and endowments are investing in these financial vehicles.” Who do Americans blame? When asked who was the “most in the wrong” in the trading mania that set off one of the biggest short squeezes in history, nearly half of Americans polled said it was either hedge funds (27%) or online brokerage Robinhood (22%), according to a Harris Poll survey conducted Jan 29-31 that was given to USA TODAY exclusively. Just 8% said it was the Reddit retail investors on the WallStreetBets forum, who angered hedge funds that had bet GameStop's stock would remain low. The small-time investors used the forum to help drive up the prices for shares such as GameStop, theater chain AMC Entertainment and several other companies. Many respondents were angry that hedge funds were shorting stocks – betting that the share prices would fall – of companies that average people use and love, according to John Gerzema, CEO of the Harris Poll. “This wasn’t just an attack on a few weak companies,” Gerzema says. “These are companies that are a part of middle-class America and ordinary people’s lives.” How did these funds begin, and how did they grow into such big villains in the minds of so many? What are hedge funds? Hedge funds are financial partnerships between a professional fund manager and investors who pool their money into the fund to earn active returns. Hedge funds can be traced back to the 1940s when Alfred Winslow Jones, an investor, sociologist and former Fortune magazine writer, created a "hedge" by “shorting" stocks he thought were poised to fall. The "hedge" was meant to reduce risk and protect against market fluctuations. It was unconventional at the time but remains the basic strategy for these funds. Hedge fund strategies today are more diverse and run the gamut of extremely risky to fairly conservative. There's another theory about the origin of hedge funds, and this one is connected to a more beloved figure. Some people credit the founding of hedge funds to Benjamin Graham, a mentor to Warren Buffett and the author of "The Intelligent Investor" – the bible of everyone who loves Buffett's method of investing. Buffett, one of the world's richest people and a folksy inspiration to small-time investors, argued that Graham managed a fund with a "hedge"-like strategy in the 1920s. So you made a bundle on GameStop: Get ready to pay the taxes How did hedge funds evolve? Hedge funds have gained in popularity over the past two decades after many of them delivered hefty outsize returns in either up or down markets, an attractive selling point for savvy investors. Some of the world's largest hedge funds include Bridgewater Associates, founded by billionaire Ray Dalio; Renaissance Technologies, founded by billionaire Jim Simons; and Pershing Square, run by Wall Street billionaire Bill Ackman. They have historically charged much higher fees than mutual funds, which are professionally managed funds that invest in stocks, bonds or money market instruments. Since hedge fund managers are nearly always paid a performance fee, or percentage of the gains they create, they have a strong incentive to make money for their investors. For the hedge fund managers to earn performance fees, their investors have to make money first. Hedge funds charge an expense ratio and a performance fee. The common fee structure is known as two and twenty – a 2% asset management fee and a 20% cut of generated gains. How did they become villains? While many Americans lost money during the depths of the financial crisis, some big-time investors did astonishingly well, including those who predicted and profited from the buildup and collapse of the housing and credit bubble in 2007 and 2008. For those Americans who had their livelihoods upended in the financial crisis, it left a bad taste in their mouths, experts say. “They’re associated with ruthless financial institutions that are out there to make money and not care where it’s coming from,” says Itay Goldstein, a professor of finance and economics at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business. A big winner from that time is billionaire investor John Paulson, a hedge fund manager who netted $20 billion in profits when he bet against subprime mortgages at the peak of the credit bubble in 2007. In general, short sellers keep stock prices in check by voicing their opinion on where they believe a stock is valued, says Dennis Dick, head of markets structure and a proprietary trader at Bright Trading in Las Vegas. “I’m concerned with this public image that ‘evil short sellers are betting against America’ and that it’s ‘un-American to short stocks,’” Dick says. “It’s not like every short seller is making bets against America. They’re making calls on whether a stock is overvalued or not.” GameStop: Reddit ran a 5-second Super Bowl ad in honor of WallStreetBets, GameStop stock volatility The hedge fund industry has faced a rough stretch in recent years and underperformed the broader stock market but produced its best return in a decade at 11.6% in 2020, according to data provider Hedge Fund Research. Some received a boost from shares of technology firms and companies that focused on goods that people used when stuck at home during the pandemic. Americans who don’t invest directly in hedge funds still receive a benefit from the returns that hedge funds generate, according to Daniel Smith, a partner at ACA Compliance Group, an advisory firm for financial services. Of the $4.5 trillion in state and local pension plans, about 6.9% is allocated to hedge funds, according to data published by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, the Center for State and Local Government Excellence and the National Association of State Retirement Administrators. ”Hedge funds help secure the retirement of more than 26 million teachers, firefighters and other public employees by helping pensions navigate all market conditions and meet long-term financial obligations,” says Bryan Corbett, president and CEO at Managed Funds Association, a hedge fund lobby group. GameStop and questions of power The rollercoaster involving GameStop, Reddit and Robinhood has prompted Capitol Hill’s harshest criticisms of Wall Street in years. Several prominent lawmakers on Capitol Hill have warned of such moments, cautioning that companies and hedge funds have too much power. One of these lawmakers, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., who is well known for her disapproval of Wall Street, called on the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to address the dramatic swings surrounding these companies. Warren wrote in a letter that it is “long beyond time for the SEC to act” and asked it to investigate the rallies in GameStop, AMC Entertainment and others that “have seen huge shifts in their share price driven by similar internet reading schemes.” "These wild fluctuations are just the latest indication that many private equity firms, hedge funds, and other investors, big and small, are treating the stock market like a casino, giving little consideration to the companies, communities, workers, and consumers that may be affected by these risky bets," she wrote. The House Financial Services Committee will hold a virtual hearing Feb. 18 regarding “recent market volatility” involving GameStop and the other companies. According to Politico, the CEO of Robinhood, Vlad Tenev, is likely to testify. GameStop-Robinhood stock revolution: Not a secure retirement plan Does the movement have legs? Questions have been raised as to whether the populist movement threatening to disrupt the financial system will be sustained. It’s too early to tell, experts say. “It has the potential to gather momentum. It depends on whether we see other related episodes in the next few weeks that show the same kind of patterns in the financial markets," Goldstein says. "We live in a period of so many unusual things going on that it will probably take the edge off this event." Hedge funds such as Melvin Capital Management took the brunt of losses from soaring stock prices of GameStop and other heavily shorted stocks. Others made a ton of money on the rally, including Senvest Management, which had a profit of nearly $700 million, The Wall Street Journal reported. “Is it sticking it to Wall Street? Only temporarily, but in the long term probably not,” Goldstein says. “At the end of the day, the sophisticated financial institutions will find ways to recuperate and make money out of this.” Lo of MIT agrees. “This incident highlights the growing dissatisfaction, distrust and dislocation that many people feel with respect to the financial sector,” Lo says. “It suggests that people are sick and tired of being disenfranchised and being pushed around by large financial institutions.” Contributing: Savannah Behrmann

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