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Allow me to explain. So, I'm now playing Kotor (expect a full breakdown in a few weeks). And as many of you know there are few minigames: combat station, swoop races and Pazaak. The first two are barebones shooter and racing games respectively which, should the game be remade, they would be organically inbuilt in the rest of the game. I mean, it was 2003. Then having such different mechanics in the same game was groundbreaking, but now it's very easy to mix different genres in the same melting pot, looking at you, Ubi.
But I want to focus in Pazaak, which is basically blackjack IN SPAAAAACE. The player that with higher points without surpassing 20 wins the round. Thing is, each player also has a private deck they can customize and improve. Long story short, Pazaak is it's own thing within the game. But personally, I don't like it. The reason is obvious: luck. I know it sounds like I'm whining, but after quite a few matches with Niklos and Mission I'm pretty sure the game chances are rigged against me, so I stopped playing, which is kinda sad, because it's an interesting part of worldbuilding.
So, I started thinking and I realize it's not at all the only game with this "game inside a game" thing. For instance, Witcher 1 and 2 have a dice-poker minigame which is a side quest on its own, although it's again more luck based and apart of the satisfaction of beating everyone, unless you savescum, you're gonna end up losing money.
Also Fallout: New Vegas made use of its setting by offering us three casinos where to spend all our caps. Funny thing is, I have yet to test it, but if we create our character with high luck attribute, I think we can balance the odds in our favor, and be expelled from the three casinos after being "too lucky".
Tl, dr: what games you know that have such good minigames that you play specially for them. They can be card games, races... idk, Pokemon like battles about improving fighters?
There's only one rule: the first one to say "Gwent" gets his motherfcking dck chopped off

1. New Hope-My first and foremost favorite Star Wars movie ever in existence that holds a special place in my heart leading to the gateway as a Star Wars fan I am today
2. Empire Strikes Back-It is weird to have this as no. 2 and not no. 1 but it is fresh and original to execute the dark, emotion, and the intensity of the story to start the tradition that the "bad guys win" with Vader revealing to Luke that he is his father getting a response saying "NOOOOOOOOO!", Lando's betrayal, Han getting frozen in carbonite, and Boba Fett's escape to deliver his captured subject to Jabba the Hutt.
3. Revenge of the Sith-I know that the PT got hated until ST garnered most but this movie is golden and a perfect way to finish the Saga at least until Disney took over and George Lucas' career. The tragedy and fall of Anakin was executed precisely, action was balanced with classic and modern style, Sidious' rise to power, the death of the Jedi, the breakdown of Obi Wan and Yoda to their fates, Grievous' threat as a commander and warrior, the politics of the Republic that led to the CIS into rebelling them, and the tie in to New Hope with the ending as Darth Vader is resurrected as a cyborg and his children into providing hope in the future that will save the galaxy from the Sith's grasp was fantastic and be a story for many generations to come. Sorry for all the ROTJ fans but this to me has surpassed the flaws that ROTJ created and here are the last words Jedi to Sith=ROTS>ROTJ. The soundtrack is the best thing this movie has to offer and I can say that there is no better modern movie than this one in my bucket list as a recommendation.
4. Return of the Jedi-I know it is not the best but what better conclusion is there to end the OT trilogy? The second half that deals with Endor and the Second Death Star is the best thing out there and with Luke not making the same mistake as his father did leading to the death of Palpatine and Anakin dying calling out the last words is the best thing the movie has to offer aside from Yoda's death and the revelation of the lineage between Luke and Leia. Luke had a badass screentime with his new lightsaber and clothing in the Battle of the Pit of Carkoon to the Death Star Duel. I feel like the Ewoks were out of place but they were there to distract the Empire and are no match regardless. Jabba's palace was like filler but the whole point was to rescue Han and since I know that Boba Fett is going to survive since he couldn't just die from falling into a pit whose anatomy is bigger than an average animal and think about it it's just a pit unlike someone whose head and torso got chopped off or falling into some fire in the explosion of a ship.
5. Phantom Menace-The most hated Star Wars movie becomes the most likeable after the massive hate that was spurted into the Last Jedi. A lot of political and Force issues intrgue me into watching it. My favorite character of this movie was non other than Maul with Qui Gon to second. The visuals were stunning and especially with the duel in the Theed Palace is the best thing to offer leading to a satisfying but bittersweet ending revealing that the Sith are alive and in the works of leading to the destruction of the Jedi and the Republic.
6. Attack of the Clones-I get how annoying it is with the romance and the lack of the purpose regarding the CIS revolution and the flaw of the Republic but the only thing that I have to say is the best thing is Jango Fett. He pulled off shit that his son couldn't against one Jedi after another until his death which served as a perfect timing for the Clone Wars and Boba Fett carrying on his legacy. Yoda's first duel against Dooku was the best thing since many of us yearned to see him in action with a lightsaber and an honorable mention goes to Anakin dual wielding for the first time which was badass. Music was great especially with Anakin and Padme.
7. Rogue One-First Star Wars spinoff to come into existence and though not up to the standards of OT and PT, this one is one kind of a film as only guerilla tactics used in warfare along with the deconstruction of the Rebel Alliance proving to be morally gray as opposed to their standards in OT. The ending of Darth Vader slaughtering the alliance was purely phenomenal in modern technology. Arguably the bleakest and most depressing Star Wars in existence.
8. Solo-Though it was not going to be anticipated due to the lack of Harrison Ford, this one is better than The Last Jedi because it is about Han's career into becoming a bounty hunter from a former Imperial soldier and the lore is just as good as Rogue One but more involved into the criminal realm. Soundtrack was one thing I liked and the appearance of Maul since PT is what really ended the movie great.
9. Rise of Skywalker-The best of the ST but dissapoints OT and PT today. Carries on elements from the Dark Empire as Palpatine is alive but it reveals everything that Last Jedi couldn't such as Rey's lineage who is based on Ken Palpatine from the Jedi Prince Novels. The pacing, dialogue, and the plot's direction couldn't be better without lightsaber duels, romance between Rey and Ben, Leia's death, Palpatine's involvement, and the ending of the Skywalker lineage but with Rey taking on a new identity to preserve their legacy leading to Disney's first ever Skywalker Saga conclusion.
10. Force Awakens-Cheap New Hope knockoff as a nod to the Original Trilogy but had awesome moments such as Kylo Ren slaughtering villagers and sharing a bond with Rey through kidnapping and dueling before his first and ever defeat. The First Order continues the tradition of the Empire but makes a huge comeback. Han, Chewbacca, and Leia were one thing the movie needed us to see as we all want to know what happened to the OT cast after ROTJ and it seems that there was a fallout between them and Luke regarding Kylo Ren who was Ben Solo, Han Solo's son. What interests me the most is that they borrow elements from the Heir to the Empire, Knights of the Old Republic, Legacy, etc to favor old fans of the EU the chance to see it alive in action. Finn was one thing the movie was watchable as a non force user who was abused as a child to become the First Order soldier realizing how bad his actions are defecting to the Resistance where he was involved with Rey and Poe and it is like he was the main protagonist for the whole film making Rey the deutaroganist since she had her moment in the end.
11. Last Jedi-Arguably the worst Star Wars movie in existence and no matter how dark and edgy it was, it was a catastrophe as if it was a Hollywood film and not Lucasfilm to begin with. The worst move in Disney history is this and in no way in terms of rewatching value. Film begins with where FA left off and there we see the old and broken Luke whose Jedi dream shattered his ideals thanks to the flaw that gave rise to Vader and Sidious to bring rise to the Empire only to be given a chance by Rey. Rose on the other hand was worse than Jar Jar and the whole casino scene was delaying the story's point. Deconstruction of the Jedi was interesting though as a nod to the PT as FA was to OT. Kylo Ren's conflict with Luke was one thing for sure but Snoke's death was awkward but the duel with Rey and Ben teaming up against Snoke was one thing to be certain. Kylo Ren to me was the main protagonist and by the time the next movie rolled, Rey is the center of attention. This movie does draw me back to KOTOR II about the moral ambiguity of the force and Luke's teachings are identical to Kreia. The last battle was intense however and Finn's battle with Phasma was an eye candy for sure and unlike Boba Fett who survived the pit, Phasma faced her fate by falling into the explosions of the Star Destroyer obviously leading to her death who barely did anything in the previous film.
12. The Clone Wars-The first animated film in existence only to cater EU fans and action is all I can say but the soundtrack was lit. The battle between Anakin and Tyranus, rescuing Jabba's son to prevent the Hutt Empire into joining the CIS and instead secure their alliance with the Republic to their advantage during the war. Art was one thing for sure as it evolved from the micro series that started in 2003. But the expansion was promising as the TV series started and it was what the PT couldn't up to today.

In December, it's been seven years since Disney acquired the Star Wars brand from George Lucas. The whole operation cost $ 4.08 billion. Of course, this money was an expensive but not too risky investment. Star Wars is one of the most loved and recognizable brands in the world. It seemed that the Star Wars logo combined with almost unlimited Disney financial resources could give us Star Wars we have never had before. And in the end I think it gave exactly that. Only was it in good sense? In this article I do not want to deal with television, toys and other gadgets and focus on movies. We have received five of these over the past five years. Have they achieved their intended success and won the hearts of fans? That will depend on who will you ask. Below I would like to present my point on this matter, I invite you to read and comment.
I will start with one aspect of the dispute around the new trilogy that often appears in other people's statements. Are sequels better than prequels? I think that this dispute does not make much sense. The biggest problem of prequels is their quality. It is different with sequels. And I do not mean that they are better because it is not so simple. My main point is that the prequels were not unnecessary. They are boring, have wooden dialogues (Anakin seducing Padme comparing her to the sand he has in his underpants ...), an action that often was far from thrilling... but they tell an important part of the story that we saw in the OT. I can't say the same about the sequels. They were unnecessary. Which does not mean that they should not exist. But they should be created with the intention of adding another important element of the saga story and making a profit as a bonus. Unfortunately, the desire for profit was the decisive factor, and story did not even come second.
So as I mentioned above, with all their flaws prequels are an important part of the saga. They tell about events that we only heard about in OT and we could only imagine tchem (maybe it's a shame it didn't stay that way). The fall of the Jedi order and of the republic. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Palpatine seizes power, creates an empire and rules it supreme. These are all events no less important than those of OT. It is a pity that they were not presented better. I think it would change a lot for the better if we didn't lose one film for Anakin's preschool years. Then there would be enough time to present the war of the republic against separatists without having to rely on cartoons. It would be a key movie between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Siths. However, even when episodes 1-3 look like they are today, they still form a coherent and fascinating story. And I don't deny myself saying that. Just because story was told in a boring way doesn't mean it's not interesting. Palpetin's path from a little-known politician to the galaxy ruler is downright fascinating. Each part of this trilogy builds a story for the next, which in turn ends with one of the most important moments of the whole saga (the birth of Vader) and at the same time is a good starting point for the New Hope.
I don't want to write a lot about the original trilogy. We all know what a cultural phenomenon it was. I will raise only two issues that I cannot ignore. First, OT was not planned as a trilogy. New Hope had no subtitle or a number. It was just "Star Wars" and that's it. I know this is common knowledge and I'm not trying to be smartass. The point is that even though it all started from self-contained movie from which they later decided to make a trilogy and despite the fact that each part had a different director, OT is one of the most beautiful trilogies in the history of cinema. Each movie can be watched separately and be enjoyable. But they create a coherent and competently written story. The characters of this story and their adventures are timeless. Han - for me he was always a favorite hero. I was very happy that he, not Luke, got Leia (especially when I found out that she is Luk's sister).
- I love You
- I know
For me, these words have even more weight than "I am your father". However, although Han was mine favorite character, Luke is the most important hero of the trilogy. He started as an orphan raised by relatives. A brave boy with a good heart, but a weakling. Ordinary man not a perfect hero. A random sand people knocked him out. In the canteen, Obi Wan saved him from the thugs. The fact that we know how modest (and I do not mean the financial situation) were his beginnings makes his development more beautiful. First a brave but physically weak teenager. Then a competent soldier, a beginner Jedi to finally achieve a master level of force mastery in Return of the Jedi. His way to the final of the story was not easy. Along the way, he suffered many defeats, lost his hand and almost lost his life when he tried to save his friends, knowing he was not ready for what awaited him. But their lives were more important to him than his own. In the final he defeated Vader. He could kill him, but he decided to spare him. He threw away his lightsaber and allowed Palpetine to torture him. When I was a child/teenager I didn't understand it. I thought Luke was a wimp who instead of beating Palpetine moans only for Dad to save him. Now I know I was foolish. I didn't understand that Luke cutting down Palpetine with his lightsaber would be a satisfying ending, but much less valuable than what we got. Luke believed in the goodness that was deep inside Vader, which the whole world (and Vader himself) considered to be the greatest monster in the galaxy. And he risked his life to prove it. And he was right. Vader made a choice, saved his son by sacrificing his own life, and killed the emperor ending 20 years of the empire's rule over the galaxy. The return of the Jedi has many disadvantages (half of this movie is in the land of discount care bears), but it is at least a good film and its finale is simply wonderful.
And this is how the saga had ended when George Lucas sold his rights to Disney. Who did not spend more than 4 billion not to try to make money on the brand by making more films. But was it really a good idea to start from episode 7? Wouldn't it be better to shoot spin-offs first? Obi Wan, Boba Fett, Rogue1… Or maybe a new trilogy right away, but taking place in the world of the old republic? Kotor 1 and 2 are great stories, well known to players and only players, for casual viewers that would avoid spoilers Revan saga could be both fascinating and surprising. Of course, you could take a chance and start by continuing the saga, but after meeting several conditions. The most important of them is to have a story you want to tell. Heroes you want to introduce. Some plan about where this story will start and where it is going to go. What adventures, challenges, successes and failures will affect our heroes and how they will change them. Unfortunately, all of this was lacking. And this is the biggest sin of the Disney trilogy. They knew they were making a trilogy. And they began to shoot a story written without much thought for which they had no plan so each subsequent film was written and shot by completely different people without any plan.
I do not intend to write about all the flaws of the new trilogy because it was supposed to be an article and not a book. Anyway, there are people who have fulfilled this task movie after movie. And probably none did it better than Mauler whose reviews, although longer than the movies themselves are far more interesting. However, in a few words I would like to refer to each part of new trilogy, but before I do it I would like to mention spin-offs.
Rogue 1 - a movie that is widely regarded as the best of the Disney era in Star Wars. Personally, I am not a fan of it. First of all, the best scene of this film is when Vader slaughtered rebels. 5 years of making movies under the Disney banner and is it not a shame that with all these new heroes and adventures the best moment of the best film is the reinterpretation of one of the first OT scenes with the participation of the OT hero? 160 km (over 100 miles if I'm not mistaken) in diameter. Enormous firepower allowing it to fight and win against enemy fleets. In addition, it was so large that it could carry own fleets that guarded it. Although it was not prepared to fight with enemy fighters (due to its size, it is difficult to properly completely fill its surface with anti-aircraft turrets), it could carry huge amounts of alied fighters that provided protection against enemy fighters. And with the enormous size of the object, its armor, firepower and fleet support, to destroy it enemy would had to get its plans, analyze them, discover a way to destroy it, and then hit the target with size of one meter in a 160 km fortress under fire from the entire empire might. I believe that the ventilation shaft was simply a feature and not a defect deliberately placed by the spy. And attempts to explain this defect are all the more comical when we consider the finale of one of the later films ...
Solo - this movie is the biggest financial disaster in the history of Star Wars. It's not the worst of the movies, but firstly few people wanted to see the movie about Han's youth and secondly it came out in the shadow of TLJ. Which could be a huge advantage, but it turned out to be the main cause of this disaster. Although the movie wasn't so bad and it didn't deserve such himiliation, it didn't deserve a success either. It answered questions that nobody was interested in having answered. Where does Han get the blaster, where did his name come from (someone got paid for writing that scene…), but it doesn't explain how Han knows the Wookie language. He just know it. He grew up on Corelia, we have never seen him meet another Wookie before Chevie, and yet he knows their language that is based on snarls and roars. Drama.
Since these less important movies are out of the way (I’m talking about spinoffs and not the first two trilogies), let's move on to the most important element of the Disney project – the New Trilogy.
The Force Awakens – for me, the problems had already began in opening crawl of this movie. Prequels began in a republic so used to peace and stabilization that it was completely unprepared for a war. And in the subsequent movies we watched the course of the conflict, one of the largest in the history of the republic and yet only a background for the machinations of Palpetine. The New Hope comes quite naturally from the events shown in Revenge of the Sith, and the entire OT, as I wrote earlier, is a coherent and fascinating story. Anyway, even before the prequels were created and New Hope was the beginning of the saga, although we were entering a completely unknown world we were introduced to it so effectively that after a few minutes we felt at home. Meanwhile, the Return of the Jedi ends with the defeat of the Empire and the beginning of the rebuilding of the republic under the watchful eyes of our heroes. Episode 7 should take place in a world reminiscent of that from episode 1. But the creators insisted on making a worse version of the New Hope and the power balance on both sides resembles that of it. The republic controls resources of the entire galaxy, and First Order tries to overthrow it. And yet the republic's power when compared to First Order power looks more or less like the power of the rebel forces when compared to the empire. To the extent that the main forces fighting the First Order on behalf of the republic are called “resistance”. The beginning of this movie completely does not match with the ending of the previous one. But it is already a tradition in this trilogy that no subsequent movie matches the previous one. In a nutshell, The Force Awakens is a worse clone of the New Hope with some names changed. Rebellion is now the Resistance. Empire is now the First Order. Death Star is now Starkillers base. Tatooine is Jakku. Luke is Rey. Vader is Kylo Ren. The Emperor is Snoke. Tarkin is Huggs. Honestly? I never understood people who justified the cloning the script of the New Hope in TFA as sensible because it was safe. It was supposed to be the beginning of a new trilogy being part of one of the most important sagas in the history of cinema. They should try harder than that. Even worse, TFA has no story to tell. Jar Jar Abrams decided to go the easy way and the whole movie revolves around searching for mcguffin - a map to Luke Skywalker. Despite all the disadvantages of this movie - new heroes seemed interesting. The potential was there. The beginning was not the best, but from this ugly duckling a wonderful swan could grow up. Especially since the financial result was excellent (I will write about the Disney SW box office after discussing movies) and the film ended with an intriguing cliffhanger.
TLJ - for me this movie killed the entire Disney SW project. And before all the fans of this terrible movie jump on me and write that I'm telling nonsense, consider a few things. First of all, the film had an excellent box office opening and ended with a result well below expectations. Why? For me and for many other people who felt the same reason is clear. We wanted to see what would happen next, but when it turned out how awful this movie was, many OT fans decided not to watch it - except for those who did it in the first few days before the reviews and opinions came out (hence the successful start and then the abyss). Also the Solo box office result should make you think. Rogue 1 entered theaters after TFA and made a lot of money, Solo entered theaters after TLJ and failed. Many people claimed that the poor TLJ result was the result of the syndrome of the second part of the trilogy and that Solo was guilty itself for own disaster, and that ep. 9 was to prove it all. We now know that ep. 9 also fell victim to the crisis into which the brand fell after TLJ. Do you remember Disney's plans for Star Wars before it came to light what damage TLJ did? 2019 ep. 9, 2020 Kenobi, 2021 first part of the new trilogy, 2022 spinoff, 2023 second part of the new trilogy, 2024 spinoff, 2025 third part of the new trilogy, 2026 spinoff. And this was the end of only this phase of Disney plans for SW, in the future they were planning even more movies. Meanwhile, after Solo, all these projects were canceled, and Ruin Johnson (who was to get his own trilogy as a reward for TLJ) may forget that anyone will let him ever approach this brand, unless he buys a cinema ticket. Which is so funny because I remember interviews with Johnson in which he claimed that SW is a huge brand and is so great that they will never stop making more movies… Not a year has passed since these interviews and it turned out that he killed the Disney SW project and movies that were supposed to never stop making will indeed stop after episode 9. I don't want to write about the film itself because we devote much more attention to it than it deserved. . Anyway, I'm not able to express in words how terrible this movie is as well as people like Mauler, Plinket, and Wolf. But I have to deal with a few issues related to this film.
First, what has been done with Luke Skywalker is a true desecration. The way TFA treated Leia and Han was terrible, but what this movie did with the most important hero of the saga ... He was changed into a coward and a bum who escaped to the end of the world to avoid fighting, leaving his beloved sister to fight alone against the overwhelming evil forces and watching the world burn while drinking blue milk from the boobs of the disgusting mutant. As if that wasn't enough, he was portrayed as a sick psychopath who sneacked into the bedroom of his nephew (and son of a friend whom Luke loved as a brother and with whom he saved each other's lives many times) to murder him in his sleep because he sensed darkness inside him. In the context of what we know about Luke and how far he is ready to sacrifice himself for a little good hidden in the embodiment of evil, it is hard to accept that he was portrayed as a murderer who would kill an innocent young man for a little evil hidden in a good person (and do nottell me that he thought Ben could not be saved because he was too evil - few years and billions of victims later Rey saved his soul without any problem). I will never forgive this movie. But equally terrible is that this solution makes the plot of the previous film completely unnecessary. Not only the TFA final where the rebel destroys the Starkiller base and with it the main enemy forces do not seem to matter, because somehow in TLJ the First Order's advantage over the Resistance is even greater than it was (the logic in the context of the forces that the warring parties have at the moment is at the level of the last season of the Game of Thrones). The map to Luke around which the whole episode 7 revolved does not seem to make any sense because Luke did not set off to prepare himself to fight the First Order but fled from it and did not intend to be found. Disney SW is a parasite that kills Star Wars, but it is mainly the fault of this film, which completely ignored the threads started in the previous one, at the same time it was so hopeless that the final part had to completely cut off from it. The new trilogy consists of 3 films, each of which pretends that the previous one does not matter (and therefore none of them matter).
TRoS - this is probably the worst film in the whole cycle. But I must admit that watching it is less painful than the previous part. On the one hand, I have no grudge against Abrams for this film. He undertook the impossible task so it is hard to blame him for failing. There is no man in the world who would save this trilogy after what the TLJ did with it. And although almost all the disadvantages of ep. 9 can be justified by the fact that it tried to fix the errors of the previous one, many things cannot be forgiven. As long as the new trilogy was only destroying itself, there was less of a problem. Palpetine's return completely ruins the importance of OT and the value of its final. Luke's heroism and Anakin's redemption do not matter because the emperor outlived them both and laughed as their corpses were cooling down. The movie itself was so terrible and shallow (again, we don't have a plot, only more mcguffins we are looking for, one more stupid than the other) that it would take more time to list all its flaws than someone devoted to writing the script of this terrible movie. As part of saving time I will focus on the final battle. Palpetine - a man who controlled two sides of the war in prequels from the shadow - a republic and separatists were both manipulated and all this under the eyes of the Jedi council. He manipulated everyone to the end then and now he eventually lost because before he attacked the defenseless republic he sent her a notice of the date of the future invasion giving them time and reason to find him and beat him. Not to mention that he had a huge fleet of star destroyers each of whom could destroy entire planets, but none had their own navigation system so they could not leave their planet because the crew of none knew which direction is “up” (apparently they did not understand the relationship of such directions as "Top" and "bottom" with concepts such as "ceiling" and "floor"). Disney SW brazenly treated a one-meter weak spot in a 160 km death star as a plot hole and yet ends with a battle in which any shot into the main cannon of each of the star destroyers of the Emperor destroys them because all their ultimate weapons are also weak points. Fact that the Palpetine family in the form of Rey appropriates the name Skywalker and falls into the favor of the republic, and yet the film has the audacity to be called The Rise of Skywalker is a scandal. Also although the return of Palpetine was forced by the death of snoke at the hands of a moron (I mean Johnson not Kylo), it was not necessary at all. I once said that the return of Jar Jar Binks as the main villain of the new trilogy would made as much sense as the return of Palpetine. Like many other people, I treated it as a joke. But from the perspective of time... Darth Jar Jar would not ruin OT with his presence. It would be surprising, but not in some bad sense. It would be controversial, but it could be seen as a tribute to George Lucas. Once a negative reaction from fans prevented him from realizing the story of Darth Jar Jar in prequels, now Disney could do it for him in the sequels. Did they had so much to lose? I know that the idea doesn't sound very reasonable, but the longer I think about it, the more I like it and I'm curious about your opinions on it.
Prequels were boring, but they were not superfluous because they tell an important part of the story contained in the saga. These are my words from the introduction. Sequels can be boring, none is a good movie, but the worst part is that they don't add anything to the history of the saga. Although that is no longer truth. It turned out that the worst thing is that they not only add nothing, but destroyed many valuable elements of the old saga. Could it have been avoided? Sure! Do not give this project to the incompetent hands of Abrams and Johnson (but it was hard to expect intelligent decisions from even less competent Kathleen Kennedy). Find someone who could write a better story that matches the beginning of the Return of the Jedi. It wasn't difficult at all ...
A republic 30 years after the fall of the empire would control the most important regions of the galaxy, but would struggle to gain and retain control on the rim where lawlessness ruled and power struggle between the Hutt cartel, the Exchange, etc. would rage on. However, peace and order would prevail in the most important and most developed regions. And in such galaxy ep. 7 could begin. Leia and Han would still be together, she could be the chancellor of the republic, he could be the person responsible for combating lawlessness at the galaxy borders (not like a sheriff with a blaster in his hand, but like a competent commander who knows the tricks of the criminal world from the inside and thus is able to fight them more effectively than ordinary republic commanders often deprived of war experience and having only education in the republic's military academies). Luke would rest on a distant planet away from civilization. The academy created by him would have its own council of masters (a place in which he abandoned to finally relax), dozens of full-fledged knights and hundreds of young students. And at this point - somewhere at the end of the second act or at the beginning of the third act First Order attacks. An organization that was created secretly by fanatics of the former empire - military commanders, politicians, businessmen, Siths. They would gather strength and resources in secret for 30 years. They placed their own agents in the most important links of the republic - army, senate, even Jedi academy. One day, at one time, the First Order agents bombs the republic's most important military bases, its fleet, senate and Jedi academy. Armed traitors after eliminating security would conquer senate, while the army, and the fleet would suffer enormous losses in this surprise bombing and would have to rely on the return of the forces operating on the borders of the galaxy, while in the Jedi academy Siths pretending to be ordinary knights (one could even be in the council) suddenly attacks surprised colleagues and they carry out a massacre from which only a few refugees would survive. Meanwhile, on far away world Rey had been attacked by mysterious masked men and saved by Luke who had covertly watch over her lately. Maybe retirement was just an excuse to disappear from the radar? Maybe he sensed something was wrong and wanted to keep her safe? Rey would be an anonymous orphan only safe until the wrong people don’t know her true identity that even she would not know. Without revealing what he knew about her, he would take her with him. He would see her potential. He wouldn't tell her aboutit. Certainly not as awkwardly as in TLJ (you have such potential that it scared sh*t out of me – Luke Skywalker). He would train her. But not like the students at the academy were training. He would do it like Miyagi in a karate kid (if I remember the story correctly) who taught his student karate forcing him to perform his daily duties - so that he trained unconsciously and living with the conviction that he was used to work by this old jerk. Their joint escape and the beginning of training would end ep. 7. In ep. 8 First Order after a surprising attack and the destruction of the republic's government would take control from it. The survivors of the republic's troops and fleets would have to decide whether to follow the new galaxy's power, which would be now restored empire, or to fight for the reconstruction of the republic. There would be fratricidal clashes between Republican warships and even on the ships themselves there would be clashes between crew and officers divided between both factions. Meanwhile, Luke would officially train Rey and stand on the side of the republic led by Leia (the attack on the Senate may have been surprising, but in her life she came out safe from bigger dangers and with age she did not become more tired but more experienced and wiser). At some point after being attacked by the Sith and having no chance of victory they would have to make difficult decisions. Luke against Rey's will would force her to run away and he would buy her time standing alone to fight the enemy forces. His heroic last stand would be the end of ep.8. In ep. 9 Rey would join Jedi disciples and knights planning to attack the new emperor in his palace and defeat the empire by depriving them of leader. During the mission, its commander would fall in battle and the other companions would see that this new one surpasses their own skills. And it wouldn't be Merry Sue effect. Luke probably had many students he had trained for years. But if you train someone for a long time, but in a larger group it may be less effective than training lasting several months, but individual and given to someone extremely talented. Rey and her companions would defeat the new emperor and the fleet of the republic commanded by Han (fleet in the battle would be led by Han, but the whole of the republic's forces and the bigger picture would be under Leia's command). The saga could end up regaining control over the core of the republic by forces loyal to it, but the new Empire, though defeated, would not be destroyed and would lick wounds in the frontiers allied with cartels, while the victorious republic would be catastrophically weakened. I think that the outline of the story I presented here and it took me longer to write it down than to imagine it was not worse than what we got in sequels. In addition to Rey, it would be possible to portray many other characters on the both sides and the struggle of the new empire with the new republic one day there could be shown in other films from their perspective.
I think Disney Star Wars is a completely unsuccessful project. But it couldn't be otherwise since it was in so many incompetent hands. I do blame Abrams, but less so. I have many more serious accusations against Johnson. People defend his film saying that is was bold and surprising. But the truth is that being notoriously surprising is not an indicator of the quality of a movie. This is a feature of parodies, not of decent movies. Naked Weapons or Space Balls can boast with the number of stupid gags, but not the middle episode of the Star Wars trilogy. Because those were all those "bold" and "surprising" moments. Stupid gags that fit more into a parody of Star Wars than this saga. Luke hilariously throwing out his lightsaber, Finn leaking hilariously after leaving the hospital, Snoke with the tongue hanging out hilariously after death. Stop using “subverting expectations” as a universally positive aspect. If you go to the restaurant, order a decent meal and would get a steaming pile of sh*t on the plate – your expectations would be subverted but would that make You happy?
And since I already touched on the subject of characters of those movies. The new trilogy shamefully treated the heroes of the original trilogy. Han and Leia are after a divorce. Old. Tired. Incompetent. He dies in the middle of the first movie killed by his own neglect of contraception. Although in her youth she was so intelligent, resourceful and effective now she behaves like a sad grandmother and not like a respectable commander with more experience than all her staff combined. I already wrote about Luke. Let me just add that the way he was treated is not an accident. All OT heroes were depicted as old incompetent mushrooms so that new heroes would perform better in comparison. In addition, Luke was not only destroyed as a character, but killed so that he couldn't train Rey. Kathleen Kennedy is a feminist. I do not mind that. I don't mind that she insisted that the main character would be a woman. But it bothers me that this ignorant feminism led to the destruction of Luke as a character so that he couldn't train Rey. Because a strong independent woman will not learn from a guy. Although from the death of Carrie Fisher there was a year to the premiere of TLJ so there was enough time to change the script:
- let Leia die in the explosion of her command deck (thereby eliminating the hated scene of Leia Poppins)
- let Luke survive the scene of imagining that he helps at the end of this movie so that his character has a chance to redeem himself - train Rey and help in the battle for real this time, let him die a heroic death.
It would be easier than leaving Leia alive after Carrie's death and at the same time more sensible (Luke was more suited to be Rey's teacher than Leia). But what makes sense does not matter in this project ... only the selfish decisions of Kathleen and Ruin do matter
While writing about heroes I can't forget about Poe and Finn. Both are played by charismatic actors without whom (and Adam Driver) this trilogy would have virtually no advantages. It is a pity that they too were sacrificed on the altar to the glory of Merry Sue Rey Palpetine Skywalker Solo Binks. Finn in particular was treated cruelly. He held a lightsaber on TFA posters suggesting he might be the protagonist. It turned out to be another one of stupid diversions from Abrams who likes his mistery boxes. At TLJ Finn became a parody of himself. For political reasons, the movie introduced character of Rose Tico for which there was no place in the script, so jut for her sake the whole absurd and unnecessary plot of Kanto Byte was filmed. And as this character was so not important Finn was demoted to justifying her existence by taking part in her adventures. I am sure that if not for Rose there would not be a casino thread and thus there would be no absurd dispute between Poe and Holdo on the topic "do we have a plan?". Because there would be no point in making the plan a secret since there would be nobody to be sent on a side mission. Everyone seems to think that Finn would be a great protagonist because as a former Storm Trooper he aroused great interest. I would add that since he was kidnapped as an infant, he was also an orphan. Meanwhile, last 4 years everyone asked who Rey's parents were and no one asked who Finn's parents were. But it's not our fault, the movies themselves drilled one question and ignored the other. Returning to Rey - the character is terrible. I like her anyway. If someone competent could write it in their own way and not under the dictation of an old feminist who believes that the best heroine is a strong independent woman who cannot lose because strong women do not lose and do not have to train because strong women can do everything anyway... Taking away from Rey the opportunity to fail and develop internally, improve her skill through hard training has made a potentially fascinating character a boring vegetable. Therefore, people without imagination and a voice of reason but full of arrogance like Kathleen Kennedy should not control such projects as Star Wars.
Let's move on to the most important determinant of success (or lack thereof) of Disney SW, namely finances. Disney paid e4.08 billion to buy the brand from George Lucas. Already after TLJ I saw a lot of articles saying that the investment paid back because 4.3 billion in 3 years was earned by 3 movies. It's totally wrong. Movies cost money. And their budget which we officially get to know is only the cost of production. Marketing usually consumes just as much. In addition, not every dollar earned returns to the creators because distribution costs and cinema margins consume some of the income. Although this is not a 100% effective method, for some time I have been using the formula to count the profits of films in which the result from the box office is divided in half and I subtract from it the doubled production budget (to include marketing) and I only treat the obtained result as the actual profit of the film. What does Disney SW's profit look like under these rules?
TFA: WWG: 2,068,223,624/2=1,034,111,812 Budget: 245kk x2 = 490 kk 1,034,111,812 - 490kk = 544,111,812 Rogue1: WWG: 1,056,057,273/2=528,028,636.5 Budget:200kk x2 = 400 kk 528,028,636.5-400kk=128,028,636.5 TLJ: WWG: 1,332,539,889/2=666,269,944.5 Budget: 317kk x2 = 634 kk 666,269,944.5-634kk=32,269,944.5 Solo: 392,924,807/2=196,462,403.5 Budget: 275kk x2 = 550 kk 196,462,403.5-550kk=-353 537 596,5
According to my calculations, after 3 movies, the profit was about 700 million, but half of that was lost by Solo, and the rest could be lost by the defeat of TRoS. I will not count income (or rather losses) of TRoS until Disney admits how much they really spent on this movie because the official budget is not known and previously published versions seemed definitely underestimated given the long and turbulent production and numerous changes in the script. Do not let yourself be convinced that the billion earned by ep.9 is a success. For Joker, a billion was a success because it was category R, it did not premiere in China and its budget was at least six times smaller than ep. 9. And we're talking about the final episode of Star Wars saga. The movie that should be the second Endgame.
Probably some of you think that comparing TRoS with Endgame is an exaggeration because Star Wars is not MCU. And the weaker financial results of this movie will be justified with something called “Star Wars faigue”. Because such an absurd explanation for Solo's defeat was very popular. MCU's is a good example – franchise which in 11 years made 24 films, each of which achieved smaller or larger financial success and won the hearts of viewers. Does the Endgame result suggest that viewers were tired of the MCU or comic book adaptations in general? No. Because good movies do not tire us at all. That's why the public still isn’t bored with MCU despite 24 movies, but we got bored with Disney SW after three movies. Anyway SW fans seem to love The Mandalorian show which proves that the fans are not tired of Star Wars at all, only of SW miserable form tainted by Kathleen Kennedy's touch. That's all about SW fatigue – it’s a BS. And now about how big Star Wars are when compared to Marvel. The Avengers is a movie that fans have been waiting for several years, hype for it was built by several earlier warmly received movies. The film made 1.5 billion, which was a huge success. The second part is mentioned much less warmly (I personally like Age of Ultron a lot) and earned 1.4 billion - less than the first, but still a lot. Infinity War, the finale of 10 years of building this universe earned 2 billion. A great success that was the result of the 10 years of hard work and numerous previous films. A decade of work and success has given Marvel these 2 billion. TFA earned more for just being created. The brand was in new hands, a new film was made and we didn't need to know more. Star Wars ep. 7 achieved a better result in cinemas 10 years after previous movie (which was the last of the “hated” prequels btw) than the fruit of 10 years of hard work on the MCU and around 20 movies that helped shaping it. Despite this, 4 years from the premiere of TFA and a year from the premiere of Infinity War, the competition of Star Wars with MCU ends in a massacre. Why? Well Endgame sips the cream of MCU's 11 years of success, but above all the great situation in which Infinity War left it. TRoS drinks the rare feces left to it by TLJ. The TFA score compared to The Avengers shows the difference between the two brands at the beginning of their new path. The TRoS result compared to Endgame shows how much can be lost when a project worth billions goes into the hands of idiots without a plan while Marvel entrusted his films to the right people, had a plan and consistently implemented it under the watchful eye of Kevin Feigi. Who unlike Kathleen Kennedy multiplied the value of the project he was in charge of instead of destroying it.
To sum up - I think that Star Wars has never been in worse spot. Prequels were rated low by fans, but earned cash. Disney SW stopped earning after 2 years and 2 movies (TLJ broke even rather than was profitable). In addition, the incompetent policies of Mrs. Kennedy and Mr. Johnson led to a split among fans. In response to their negative reception of TLJ Kennedy and Johnson began a campaign to throw mud on fans, to present them as racists, extreme right-wing enemies of women. This stupid reaction to honest criticism led to a catastrophic split between TLJ fans and OT fans who were disgusted with this movie. Kathleen Kennedy in her pursuit of attracting new fans (especially women) to Star Wars forgot about two important things. The first rule of show business is not to sacrifice fans you already have to try to get new ones. And most importantly - the fans whose opinions didn’t matter to Kathleen Kennedy because she underestimated them… they were the reason why this brand was worth the 4 billion at all. You don't need Star Wars brand to make a movie about wars in space and space wizards. The same could have been achieved with Mass Effect (which by the way I love except the third part finale and Andromeda) or some new IP. But Star Wars had a multitude of loyal fans who did not skimp on their passion. And it was thanks to them that this brand was so valuable. And Mrs. Kennedy forgot about it, ignored them, allowed them to ne attacked by her subordinates. And all this to have a chance to win a new generation of fans, which even if it succed they could not be equally devoted as the old fans. For casual buyers yesterday there could have been new star wars at the top, today marvel and tomorrow another part of transformers or fast and furious. People for whom SW in many cases was most important passion in live were abandoned to please the people for whom SW is one of the many brands in the cinema. You can watch it, sure, but if You don’t You will not miss it.

"KOTOR 1 Experience" is a parody based on real play sessions of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. SPOILER WARNING: These stories are targeted towards those who have already finished KOTOR. They will spoil you so hard the milk in your fridge will curdle. And your neighbor's fridge, too. Click to read the previous episodes.
(Taris.)
Sith: This is a raid!
Me: You know, I never used grenades much my first time around. (Pulls out grenade pin.)
Carth: What the hell are you doing?? There's a civilian right there!
Me: Carth, let me introduce you to a little term called "plot immunity." (Throws.)
(BOOM. Sith and both droids die. Alien is still cowering.)
Carth: ...
Me: Wow, one grenade is all it took? That was almost as easy as when we were cheating.
Alien: Don't worry about the bodies. I'll move them.
Me: See, not only is he alive, but we're good buddies, now! Buddies hide bodies for each other, right? (Claps alien on shoulder.)
Alien: Yeah, uh, sure. (Cringes slightly and gives Carth a worried look. Carth shrugs helplessly in response.)
(Walks down hallway.)
Merchant: Hey, you look like you could use an energy shield.
Me: Nah, they're too expensive for this level. Maybe I'll hit you up later.
Carth: You sure? They're real useful against blasters. These energy shields are why the Republic has been training soldiers with swords.
Me: Ohhhh. I see. They're explaining why people in the KOTOR universe still use melee weapons.
Carth: Yeah, pretty much.
Me: Here I was thinking it was because Star Wars blasters aim about as well as a six year old after a pixie stick bender.
Carth: (Looks at the ceiling innocently.) No... it's totally the energy shields.
Me: Well, let's see what's behind some of these doors. (Whacks at door with sword.) Whoa! I'm like barely making a dent in here. Sucks being level 3. Wait, didn't I put any points into security? Oh, it's not a class skill. Damn. (Thinks.) Psst, Carth, com'ere.
Carth: Yes?
Me: Last game I made a joke about you having one point in security. Did you start the game with it, or did my hand slip one day when I was leveling you up?
Carth: I can pick a lock.
Me: Awesome! At this level one point might just be enough. (Steps away from the door.) After you.
Carth: On it. (Starts to pick lock.) Wait... (Steps back and looks at door.) Isn't this a private apartment?
Me: Yeah.
Carth: Why do we need to go in here?
Me: Because I told you to. (Shooing motion towards lock.)
Carth: (Frowns.) You're not going to turn dark side on me, are you?
Me: I'm not. Look, just trust me.
Carth: (Wary look.) Okay... (Picks lock.) It's open.
Me: Great, thanks! (Walks in past the protesting occupant and starts looting room.)
Carth: Hey! What the--?
Me: Calm down, man. Look! (Gestures towards middle of the screen), no dark side points. Now be a good boy and go open the next door.
Carth: (Grumbles inaudibly and heads towards next door.)
Me: Why do you know how to break into stuff, anyway, if you're such a goody-two-shoes?
Carth: Hey, lock-picking can be a legitimate hobby!
Me: Oh really? What made you interested in lock-picking?
Carth: I, uh... kept losing the keys to my apartment.
Me: (Rolls eyes.)
(Cantina.)
Ice: You better not be coming over to talk to me about women in the dueling ring. I'm not here for any of that "girl power" shit, and I don't give a crap about you. I'm just here to kick ass.
Me: Wow, that's really cold.
Ice: Now you know why they call me Ice.
Me: ... (Groan.) I walked right into that.
Carth: You sure did. Hey, hey... Know what you should've said to her?
Me: What?
Carth: "Ice to see you." Get it?
Me: ...That's terrible.
Carth: Oh, come on! That was funny!
Me: No it wasn't. Besides, I'm the one who makes all the jokes, here.
Carth: Yeah, and they're all at my expense.
Me: Not all of them. Just, like 80%.
Carth: (Rolls eyes.) Wow, that makes me feel better.
Me: Well, you're the only one here right now. I don't have too many options. Just wait until we get Mission.
Carth: Then you can make fun of her?
Me: No, then they'll be two of us making fun of you.
Me: So, tell me about this dueling ring.
Ajuur: You fight, you win, I give you money.
Me: Sounds good, I'm in.
Ajuur: Most people use vibroblades or blasters, but don't worry, nobody dies anymore. The ring has energy suppressor fields.
Me: So, I guess I can buy that it saps the energy from blasters and makes them less powerful... but how do you remove the energy from a longsword?
Ajuur: ...Do you want to fight or not?
Me: Hell yes.
Ajuur: You need a nickname...
Me: How about something cool, like... "Darth Revan"?
Ajuur: Do you want to get the Sith to stomp all over this place?
Me: Yeah, I guess that's a tad too obvious. ...Ooh, ooh, how about "Nothing"?
Ajuur: That's stupid.
Me: Well, it worked for Odysseus.
Carth: I think that was "Nobody".
Me: (Shrug.) Same difference.
Ajuur: We'll call you the Mysterious Stranger.
Me: ...That's terrible.
Ajuur: No, it's perfect. You've got no past, no history, makes it seem like you've got a big dark secret...
Me: (Points knowingly at Ajuur.) Ahhh, I see what you're going for.
Carth: What? I don't get it.
Me: That actually works really well. I'll take it.
Ajuur: Good, because we already recorded all the dialog with it.
(Sitting at Pazaak table.)
Niklos: This will be fun. I don't have anyone to play with after Garouk was caught hustling.
Me: (Shuffles Pazaak deck.) How does one even cheat at Pazaak?
Carth: (Leans elbows on Pazaak table.) What do you mean?
Niklos: (Glares at Carth.)
Carth: (Steps back and raises his hands in an "oops, my bad" gesture, then walks around behind me to lean on the back of my chair instead.)
Me: (Deals her hand.) I mean, it's a game where you bring your own deck, and as far as I can tell there aren't any rules as to what can be in your deck. So it's not like you can cheat by using OP cards. And if you bring a blatantly better deck, well, that's just how you play, apparently. Bringing your deck to a professional gambling game is just so weird, in any case. Go into any casino in the real world and insist on bringing your own cards or dice and you'll get laughed out of the room.
Carth: Well, the main deck could be stacked in someone's favor. (Scans the table, then points at a card in my hand.)
Me: (Shakes head and plays a different card.) That'd be tough to do, considering you'd have to stack both your side deck and the main deck to match each other. Since we go back and forth on drawing from the main deck you'd have to stack it just right so that you get the cards you want instead of the other guy. I'm assuming there's either a third party dealing the main deck or one person shuffles and the other cuts, that sort of thing, so even if you stack it right if the other guy cuts it there's only a 50/50 chance that you'll get the "good" set of cards. Or the other guy could stand sooner than expected, and throw off the whole thing.
Carth: You've thought way too much about this.
Me: (Shrug.) It's not that difficult of a game, so I've got a lot of time to think.
Niklos: (Plays a card.) Garouk wasn't caught "cheating", he was caught "hustling".
Me: What's the difference?
Niklos: He made people think he wasn't any good at the game, used a base side deck, then he'd switch side decks on them when they started betting big money. Not strictly against the rules, but definitely not very sporting.
Me: (Looks at cards in hand.) Well, fuck, I want to buy his other deck, then. This must be the crap one.
Niklos: Aha, twenty! I win! Told you, I was the best player on Taris. No way you're ever going to beat me.
Me: Nah, that's not true.
Niklos: (Reaches for pile of credits.) Excuse me?
Me: By the end of the night, you're going to lose to me every single time.
Niklos: (Laughs.) That's impossible. I already beat you once, so you can't possible win "every time".
Me: (To Carth.) You see, I don't need to stack decks. I have a much better way to win at this game.
Carth: Oh yeah?
Me: (Shakes her arm out of her sleeve.) Now that this is my second playthrough, I'm not nearly as squeamish about save scumming. (Pokes a button on her wrist.)
(RELOAD.)
(Taris streets.)
Man: Thank you! Those bounty hunters were going to kill me! My wife warned me not to take a loan from Davik.
Carth: How long have you been married? Don't'cha know the woman's always right?
Me: (Elbows Carth in the gut.)
Carth: Ow, hey! I thought you would've liked that comment!
Man: He's not going to stop, you know. He'll just keep sending bounty hunters until I'm dead.
Me: How much do you need? 100 credits? Here.
Man: Thank you!! (Runs off.)
Carth: You gave him 100 credits?? We worked hard to get that money.
Me: "We"? Who's been the one playing Pazaak and fighting in the arena all night?
Carth: Hey, I helped. ...I was moral support.
Me: I don't really care about the 100 credits because... watch this. (Loots corpses. Holds up two sets of 50 credits each.) Ta-da!
Carth: Uh, why are you staring at me?
Me: Well, the game told me I should talk to you, and I find it a little amusing that you're just standing there nodding your head and making little eye motions like you're listening to someone talk, even though I haven't said anything yet.
Carth: (Pulls out ear buds.) Oh, sorry, I was just listening to an audiobook while we walk. I like to multitask.
Me: Oh? What's it about?
Carth: It's a, uh, motivational self-help sorta thing.
Me: Self-help? Like what, how to talk in front of a crowd? Be more assertive? How to cook?
Carth: No, it's... Was this really what you wanted to talk to me about?
Me: I guess not. I got more questions, Mr. Doesn't-Like-Talking.
Carth: I'm all ears.
Me: First ques-- Wait, "beautiful".
Carth: Oh, I would've picked the word "handsome," but if that's what you wanna call me I won't stop you.
Me: No no no, you're supposed to call me "beautiful". You're supposed to say, "I'm all ears, beautiful."
Carth: Oh, sorry. Look, I'm sure your personality is spectacular.
Me: (Choking sound.) Excuse me?
Carth: Don't worry, looks aren't everything. I'm sure you'll find someone who can see past it.
Me: Oh fuck you. What, is your romance so picky that I can screw it up just by picking the wrong face at character creation?
Carth: I'm not picky! ...I just have standards.
Me: Come on! We were supposed to have this sort of flirty banter to break the ice! You know, you call me beautiful, I call you a lobotomized Gamorrean...
Carth: "Lobotomized Gamorrean"? You may need to work on your flirting skills.
Me: No, no! Aah... (Frustrated.) It was supposed to be cute!
Carth: Clearly you haven't seen a lobotomized Gamorrean before. ...Or any Gamorrean, for that matter.
Me: No, not the Gamorrean-- (Facepalm.)
Carth: Can we get on with this interrogation?
Me: Yeah... yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
Carth: Let me ask you something first, though.
Me: Here we go.
Carth: Why are you not dead?
Me: Oh come on, this face isn't that bad.
Carth: No, I mean out of everybody who died on the Spire, why did you come out alive?
Me: Well, why did you come out alive?
Carth: Me? No, no, we're talking about you. I've got a ton of experience, here, and you're just a rando newb.
Me: "A ton of experience"? You've got like one level on me, tops. And hey, I'm the PC. If I don't survive there's no game.
Carth: I still think it's fishy. I'm keeping my eye on you.
Me: Good... I hope you stare long enough that my ugly mug makes you puke.
Carth: Hey, come on, you're not that bad.
Me: Thanks.
Carth: It only invokes a mild nausea.
Me: (Sigh.) So, do I get to ask my questions, now?
Carth: Nah, that's all I got scripted for this interaction.
Me: Psh, some "interrogation". Not only do I not get to ask any questions, but you keep your shirt on.
Carth: Get used to it.
Me: Which one, the questions or the shirt?
Carth: Both. (Starts to put back in earbuds.)
Me: (Grabs an earbud just as it's about to go in and puts it in her own ear.)
Carth: Hey! (Tries to grab it back.)
Me: (Listens while dodging Carth's grabs.) "The Secret"? Seriously, you're listening to "The Secret"?
Carth: (Yanks earbuds back. Face turns red.) Shut up! (Jams in earbuds, then stomps off ahead.)
Me: (Yells to him.) Positive thinking! Darth Maul has no chance against the power of our belief in ourselves!
Carth: (Turns around with shushing motion.) What did I tell you about keeping a low profile?
Me: Carth, we're the only people waking around everywhere with drawn weapons. It's pretty obvious who we are just from looking. I think the Sith are just too dumb to care about our little SECRET.
Carth: Oh, screw you. (Storms off again.)
Edit: Next episode: I don't dance.

Believe me or don't. I've seen a lot of what will happen in VIII as well as some of what will happen in IX.
Episode VIII begins with Snoke talking with an injured Kylo (right after VII ends) about how his failure against Rey was foreseen and that the fight was a chance to test the girl's power. It's clear that Kylo is afraid of being replaced by her and promises that next time he will be victorious. It then goes to Ahch-To and we pick up where we left off with Luke and Rey. Luke has been stuck on this planet for years but it was also a self-imposed exile. He's conflicted as to whether he should get involved again as his efforts to build a new Jedi Order resulted in Kylo's fall and the death of many Jedi students. Rey asks him about her family and where she comes from. Luke is curious as to why Rey thinks he might know, to which Rey replies that it's just a feeling. Luke shares some details on Rey's past but remains vague, claiming that he does not know much. It's clear that Luke is uncomfortable with discussing this. Rey tells Luke that Han was killed. Luke says that he felt it but didn't want to believe it.
By the way, Chewbacca is present in many of these scenes but doesn't do a whole lot other than get a sweet reunion with Luke.
Luke ultimately decides against training her. He believes that training her will turn her into a target. Snoke knows she exists know so it's best if she goes back into hiding. Rey is furious at this and demands to be trained. Luke takes his lightsaber back and locks himself in his stone hut, prompting a frustrated Rey to explore the island. Rey discovers the birds that have a form of communication through the Force. She also discovers the Force Tree and a Jedi temple that can only be described as having a style similar to the Dantooine temple from KOTOR. She explores the temple and meditates by the tree, being able to communicate both to it and the birds. How the living Force works is shown to the audience through a really trippy sequence that is very similar to how the planet from Avatar works. Rey is amazed and demands to be taught the ways of the Force from the Force itself but is deemed unworthy of being there to learn. She begs and begs and promises to do whatever it takes. The birds direct her to a beast of the dark side that is nearby. She figures that she must go and slay it to win their approval. She finds the sea beast nearby and tries to fight it with her staff. She attempts to use the Force a few times but is not very effective. It's clear that she can't win the fight. Finally, she tries a new approach. She tries to tame the beast and approach it as an equal rather than as an enemy. The beast acts menacing but no longer attacks. There's a cool moment of understanding before the beast leaves. Rey realizes that she was never instructed to kill the monster and that it was just an animal, even if she was told that it was of the dark side. She learns a lesson about balance between light and dark. She sees Luke, who watched the whole fight, who finally agrees to train her. Chewbacca is also with Luke here.
We get some cool scenes of Rey and Luke sparring (with lightsabers!) and learning about the Force. Rey asks when she'll get to make her own lightsaber and Luke jokes about how her staff and his old lightsaber should be enough. Rey asks why he doesn't want his back to which Luke jokes that using two at once is very difficult. Soon enough, Kylo Ren shows up with the Knights of Ren. Luke tells Rey to hide at the old Jedi temple and that the Force will protect her. Rey says she's going to stay and fight but Luke tells her to fight another day and to learn the ways of the Force. She, not Luke, is the galaxy's only hope at defeating the First Order, according to him. Rey runs off. Luke tells R2 and Chewbacca to get the ship ready to leave. Kylo arrives and demands to know where Rey is. Luke gets ready to fight. Luke cuts through many of the Knights and is a complete badass with the Force. However, there are a lot of them and Luke finds it increasingly difficult to fight them all at the same time up close. Rey runs back and Kylo breaks off from attacking Luke to fight her. The two battle and Kylo disarms her fairly quickly. He tells her that Luke killed her mother (no father is mentioned at all so it's ambiguous as to whether Luke is the father or not). Luke goes berserk and defeats the remaining Knights and forces Kylo to retreat. Rey feels betrayed and demands to know everything but Luke says that the Resistance is in trouble and they need to get back in the fight. Rey refuses to leave but Luke convinces her. As they leave, they try to contact the Resistance. A Resistance leader catches them up to speed and redirects them to Poe (more on that).
Meanwhile during all of this, Finn (who has some cybernetics on his back and shoulder) and Poe are leading some covert ops for the Resistance. Leia believes that the Republic leader played by Laura Dern (who dresses crazy with colored hair) is helping the First Order. We get a cool Senate scene that looks muuuch different than the prequels. It feels more personal than what we got in the prequels. It's a scene with a bunch of politicians in a huuuge board room basically. That's the best way to describe it. Laura Dern says that she believes peace between the First Order and the Republic is possible. She exposes the Resistance as being the cause of the attack on the Republic capital (basically, the Republic wasn't at war with the First Order and that the unsanctioned Resistance acted as terrorists to try and start a war). She straight up calls the Resistance a bunch of terrorists wanting chaos. She assures people that cooperation with the First Order is necessary and that they should get representation. A lot of other senators agree. Obviously Leia is strongly against this. Laura reminds everyone of her family ties to the Empire and suggests that maybe Leia is working to destroy the Republic and bring back the Empire. The meeting concludes and Leia immediately tells Poe that the Resistance got a message from a contact on Dern's planet that said that First Order forces were setting up there in secret. Leia tells Poe to lead a strike team to find proof of Dern's involvement with the First Order. Poe gathers a bunch of elite soldiers as well as Finn for this mission. Shortly after they leave, Leia's ship is attacked and she is put in a coma. In her absence, Dern steps up to lead the Republic and demands to know everything there is about the Resistance. If the Resistance doesn't reveal itself and agree to be controlled by the Republic, they will be deemed traitors of the Republic. Poe hears about this and tells Finn. Poe vows to find out who is responsible and make this mission a success. Finn suggests that it could be Dern that orchestrated this.
Finn, Poe, BB-8, and the strike team of elite Resistance soldiers take a ship to go meet with the contact (played by Kelly Marie Tran) in a casino. Finn, Poe, and BB-8 go while the rest of the soldiers stay with the ship. The world is very...flamboyant. The closest thing we've ever seen like this in Star Wars would be Coruscant in Attack of the Clones. Even comparing it to that is a stretch. It's weird but cool and makes sense. KMT says that she spied on First Order forces setting up nearby and that they're planning something or preparing for something but she doesn't know what. She demands to go with them to help with the mission. She's very flirty with Finn and Finn is very awkward. KMT suggests that they go visit a local criminal leader with eyes and ears everywhere on the planet. They meet with him. He is played by Benicio Del Toro. He says that he's known about the First Order being here for quite some time. It's very clear that he despises them but that they're good for his business. When the First Order takes over, his products (guns, drugs, etc.) will be worth a lot more as security tightens. He decides to take them prisoner to sell to either the First Order or to the Republic, as the First Order would pay a ton to have Resistance information while the Republic would pay anything to avoid the First Order from getting them. They are thrown in a cell. Finn hatches a plan to escape and they get out and find BDT. Finn holds him at gunpoint and makes a bargain: help them find out what the First Order is doing and stop whatever it is or else Finn kills him. It's a dark moment but it grows Finn's character as someone who will do anything to defeat the First Order (rather than wanting to run from it). BDT accepts the deal and tells them that the First Order wants to use the planet as a base of operations and that they are using someone in the Republic who is actually working for the First Order. Obviously this is Laura Dern. They all decide to attack the base. BDT's men will attack so it looks like a gang attack while the strike team goes in to find out what more about what they're planning. On the way, Finn is recognized by a stormtrooper who thinks that Finn is undercover. The stormtrooper asks Finn if he heard about Phasma, who is hunting down the traitor that got her kicked out of the First Order (he doesn't know it's Finn). The trooper also says he thought he saw Phasma a little while ago. Finn has an "oh shit" moment. They get ready to attack the base when Finn and Poe get contacted by Rey and Luke. Finn and Poe tell them to come help their attack on the base. They try to delay the attack but the gang's already started. BDT says that he's had a revelation that removing both the First Order and the Republic would put him in charge of the whole planet. Meanwhile, Laura Dern is notified of the attack and sends Republic soldiers as a peace offering. She announces that the First Order base is being attacked by the Resistance, who has allied themselves with a criminal organization. The Resistance is now an enemy to the Republic.
Finn and Poe's team has no choice but to go in. Rey and Luke arrive and fight their way in as well. It's a massive battle scene that's really cool and features all sides fighting each other. Finn and Poe discover that Kylo Ren is headed to the base to deal with this attack. They go to warn Rey and Luke but are stopped by Phasma and some stormtroopers. She says that she vowed to get her revenge and tracked them here. She alerted the First Order who gave her some soldiers as a final chance to redeem herself. A shootout takes place with Phasma killing KMT. They escape and run to help Rey and Luke. Rey and Luke sense the dark side and go to confront it. The door opens but it's not Kylo. It's Snoke, who greets Luke as an old friend. Luke tells Rey to run but she refuses again. Luke doesn't give her the choice. She is force pushed out of the room and Luke seals it off to fight Snoke alone (this fight is NOT shown and this is the last we see Luke in this movie). Rey tries to get in but is confronted by Kylo. The two battle once more with Kylo once again gaining the upper hand. This time, Luke isn't here to save her. Rey is wounded. Kylo prepares to kill Rey when Finn, Poe, and the strike team arrive. They fire upon Kylo who stops all the blaster bolts mid-air. He proceeds to execute most of the team. Finn breaks free of the stasis and hits Kylo which causes him to break his concentration. Poe fires at Kylo, as do the remaining soldiers. Kylo goes berserk and cuts through them while Finn and Poe get Rey out of there while Rey calls out for Luke. They escape the planet with Chewbacca piloting the Falcon in a really cool scene and firing upon First Order ships and soldiers. They meet up with the rest of the Resistance. Rey recovers but feels isolated from everyone. Finn is relieved to see Rey alive and safe. The two have a very sweet moment and it's very clear that Finn has a thing for Rey. The film ends with her taking a ship and leaving on her own, though I believe where she goes will not be shown.
Throughout the movie we see Kylo scheme and be angry at not being able to kill Rey. We, however, do not see him train with Snoke. It happens off-screen. Kylo is a badass in this movie.
Episode IX: This is what I know so far. I'll be finding out a lot more details soon so I'll come back to this sub when it's a safe time to do so.
The first part of the movie involves getting Rey back into the fight and exposing Laura Dern. Then the Resistance discovers that Snoke has been capturing force-users to break them and expand the Knights of Ren (basically creating a small army for him and Kylo). Snoke thought he couldn't break Luke but Snoke defeated him and decides to try. He wanted Rey because she is very powerful and could either replace Kylo or become another key weapon. Snoke's origins and endgame plan will be revealed though I do not know what either is yet. I'll update you all as soon as I know. I do not know what happens to Leia other than there have been several meetings discussing if they should change parts of the story and how to do justice to the character.
Han's death is mentioned a few times and is seen on a screen in the casino which makes Finn sad.
I know there's a lot to VIII but from what I've heard, VIII will be longer than VII and be around the same length as II or III. They may cut some scenes but the key plot points should all be there.
I can answer questions about VIII but not IX yet.

It is one of the worst mini-games I've ever played in a non-minigame oriented game. (Perhaps the second worst one after Blitzball in FF X)

• That sh*tty game is mostly based on luck. There is no real effective strategy or skill, mostly luck, making it frustrating as hell.
  
• Why does the player always draw a yellow card first? It's not like you are playing against some kind of casino, just against another character like you who (is supposed to) like to play. It is really unfair that the NPC never has to draw the first card.
  
• The computer often cheats. I quickly forgot the countless times it, by the greatest luck, it has the exact card in his deck to get 20, or even the times he gets the EXACT yellow card to get 20. ANY SINGLE NPC has cheated at some point.
  

If only Pazaak was entirely facultative... But it is also one of the only effective way to get money. So, you have to save scam on every Pazaak player, to save every time you win and reload every time you lose. How is it supposed to be fun?
I know it becomes easier once you got a bunch of +/- 1, +/-2, +/-3, +/-4... cards, but it is still frustrating as hell, and you don't have these cards in early game.
Does it even gets better in KotOR 2?
Is it possible to get enough money to buy great stuff without wasting time on that thing?
Is it humanly possible to even enjoy Pazaak?