Hi there, so I platinumed GTAV a while ago and I ranked them based on difficulty, how long they took, and just generally how fun they were to achieve. This also is kind of a walkthrough of some sorts and includes tips for some of the more difficult ones. Oh and keep in mind that this is just my opinion, some trophies can be achieved easier by other people.
And there is some swearing in this, but that shouldn't be a concern considering this is talking about GTAV Pick option C at the end of the game so you don't miss any achievements
- Pimp my sidearm- works on any gun, recommend beating the game and then fully mod a pistol for the cheapest results.
- Los santos customs- beat the game and take franklins car (trust me, do franklin's car) and go to a Los Santos customs and buy every option
- A lot of cheddar- When you finish the game go to one of the stock websites and purchase every stock you can, which means you should be able to purchase 40 million worth of stocks at a time, do this until you unlock the achievement. This should take around 2 minutes.
- Out of your depth- Purchase a boat or call a taxi (if you do the taxi achievement before this one the taxi skips are free) and go to the ocean, drive or swim to the very end and swim down to find a shark, annoy the shark so he will kill you. Depending on how you do it should only take around 5-15 minutes.
- Off the plane- nothing needed to be said here, just complete it.
- Clean sweep- Just stay behind cover and purchase snacks and body armor, and use a gun like a pump shotgun or a one-shot weapon, such as the revolver.
- Trading pure alpha- you can do this anytime within the game, just purchase a stock and then kill yourself repeatedly until next to your stocks a green arrow pointing up appears, sell it and you should get the achievement. Can take up to 5 minutes if stock prices don't go up quickly.
- Three-man army- Play as franklin and call Micheal and Trevor and pick them up, get a wanted level and stay in your car, kill a cop so you can get 3 stars, and start driving away but still have the cops on your ass. Do this for 3 minutes and you should get the achievement easily. Make sure your car has some armor upgrades though.
- Alls fare in love and war- After beating the mission Mr.Philips you are able to purchase businesses when you're able to play as franklin purchase the taxi business for 200k and then you should get a call after a while, do the job and you should get the achievement. The missions themselves don't take a long time, maybe around 5-10 minutes, if you don't get the achievement to try to do another one.
- Red mist- After completing the Trevor Philips industries mission this will just look like standard strangers and freaks, complete it, and then the others should pop up after you finish the one before. Complete all 5 and you should get the achievement. Can take up to 30 minutes to an hour if you're not good at it, I recommend trying to get the gold for all these for another achievement.
- Altruist acolyte- There are certain markers that will appear as you get close to them, play as Trevor and go to the "Domestic" random event, there are a few closer to the location such as the hitch lifts but I wasn't able to spawn them. Drive to the cult and you should get the achievement after the cutscene. Took me around 10 minutes if you use the domestic random event.
- Wanted: Dead or alive: This will also appear as Trevor strangers and freaks, after doing it you will get an email giving a picture of where he should be hidden, you can search it up on youtube as I did and capture him, don't kill the target no matter what, deliver him to Maude and you should unlock the achievement. Took around 10 minutes.
- Kifflom! Play as Micheal and go to the Epsilon Program website, and pay the 1000 dollars to start this, I recommend using another guide for this but whenever you need to do something like wear the robe for 5 days just go to Michael's house and sleep until you are able to go on another mission, and when you need to walk around the desert for 5 miles just walk in a circle. this can take up to 3 hours if not done correctly.
- San Andreas sightseer- Purchase a helicopter for the quickest results but can be done using a car or a boat. Travel around and get 95% of the map uncovered, you can tell if it's uncovered by it being transparent, meaning you can see through the map. The reason why I recommend a helicopter is you also need to uncover the ocean as well, which can be done with a boat but the helicopter is faster, you can either steal one or purchase a helicopter hangar and a helicopter. Took around 5 minutes because I already had a lot of the map uncovered.
- Multi-disciplined- You'll need to get a single gold in only one of the shooting range challenges, triathlon, a flight school lesson, a sea race, a street race (which only franklin can do), and an off-road race. Complete all of them anyway for 100% achievement. This can take up to 30 minutes to an hour if you aren't able to gold one.
- TP Industries arm race- After beating the mission Mr.Philips you need to purchase the hangar after beating the mission, it should cost 100,000 dollars. You get a special marker for the dune buggy and the airplane, there are 10 in total, 5 for the dune buggy (which is mainly just collecting supplies) and another 5 for the airplane (which is also mainly just supply drops) After doing the two quick save your game and reload it for the two missions to spawn. Can take up to an hour if doing the quick save method.
- Crew cut- To easily finish this you either need to make a crew for a friend to join or join a friends crew
and play a contact mission with them to get the achievement.
- A new perspective- Just leave one of the characters in the first person and just wait for the 15 hours or play some of
the story in the first person, I just recommend leaving it on overnight.
- Calling digits- reach rank 20 and have 5000 dollars, call up Merryweather and ask for a backup helicopter.
20- stick up kid- rob every store on the map, can take up to an hour depending on how fast you move to each store.
21- enjoy your stay- for this achievement you need to play golf, play tennis, play darts, arm-wrestle,
win a shooting range challenge, rob a store, buy a lap dance, buy any clothes, buy a tattoo and change your hairstyle. Make sure you win or lose the sports activities because if your teammate leaves in the middle of the match it won't count.
- Three-bit gangster- Pretty simple since ranking up is easy, just play 3x or 2x events or contact missions for the best RP. Can take up to an hour or two.
- American dream- You're most likely going to need at least 1,000,000 dollars for everything, grind the 3x or 2x event or play heists for money.
- 4-bit gangster- Same as a Three-bit gangster but more grinding is required. Can take up to 5 hours of pure grind.
- Full refund- After rank 50 have a friend call Lamar so he can call a thief on you, kill the thief and take back your money. Takes around 5 minutes.
- The midnight club- You can have a friend let you win 5 races by going to the menu-jobs-races and then
invite your friend and have you win 5 with a custom vehicle, depending on the map you play on
(I recommend taxiing, takes around 2 minutes to complete it) this can take up to 10-30 minutes.
- Backseat driver- Do this with a friend, wait for people to join or join a rally race, and then guide them through the map. Once again I recommend making the rally race so you can play on a map you are familiar with.
- Run like the wind- I did this in a solo match, I stole a car, got a bounty, and survived a GTA day (which is around 48 minutes) Move around and don't get kicked, you can die by anything but another player. You can do this with a friend where they have Lester give you a bounty.
- Show off- Use an upgraded vehicle (preferably franklin's personal car) and search up a guide for all locations, ill put a link to the guide I used in the description, while most are easy 10 of them are a complete bitch, and took me around 15 minutes just to do one of them because of the requirements. This can take up to 3-5 hours.
- From beyond the stars/a mystery solved- I can't really decide on which one is harder so I will group them up into one, both took me around 3 hours to do since there are so many. You can use the rockstar social club website or use a guide on YouTube as I did.
- Waste management- After the second heist Micheal or Trevor and purchase the old dock for around 250,000 dollars, while it can be confusing just follow the dot on the map. Took me around 2 hours to do.
- Close shave- Look up a guide, it's pretty much required for this. Buy the buzzard helicopter for the under the bridge and keep in mind not to do too much damage to your helicopter or it won't count, while most recommend stealing a jet from fort zancuddo I instead bought the mallard for 250,000. Took me around 3-4 hours.
- Decorated- In GTA online there are certain rewards for doing certain things such as killing people with a pistol a certain amount of times, every single platinum that I earned were headshot kills, sniper kills (not sure how to be honest) Kill people using melee weapons, kill people using sticky grenades, kill players in GTA online, kill psycho's (I recommend doing most of these in deathmatches) win 10 waves of survival, (it's painful and achievement on its own), rob 20 stores which is also an achievement, pay for 25 lap dances (all you need to do is pay for the dance and then exit it) buy 25 haircuts, have a friend drive you around for a few hours (sit in a car with your friend in it, pretty simple one) Flippin hell (go to a stunt race with a flying car, get high in the air and do the flips) steal vehicles (pretty simple) Achieve the fastest lap in a race (can be done with a friend) land jumps 300 feet in a road vehicles win every deathmatch and race mode (can be done with a friend) participate in 25 races, buy 25 pieces of clothes (just buy 25 shirts) get the most kills in a 4 player survival (not too hard unless you camp all game, can be done with a friend) get the most kills in a gang attack (also can be done with a friend) shoot cop choppers down (when you get 3 stars start shooting the choppers down with a homing missile) win every race mode at least once (needed for 2 achievements) get a tattoo on every body part, win a race in a custom vehicle (needed for achievement anyways) wheelie for over 2000 feet (I don't remember getting this one, but the best way is to do it at the airport) Activate a 2 person key switch (I did this on the diamond casino heist) Complete the fleeca heist finale, do the aggressive approach on the diamond casino heist and earn 1,000,000 dollars and use the elevator on the diamond casino heist.
- Solid gold, baby!- Do the heist setups and the strangers and freaks, every mission and strangers and freaks I got a gold in (not including prologue) was
Franklin and Lamar, Complications, Fatheson, marriage counseling, friend request, chop, the long stretch, daddy's little girl, the good husband, carbon rifles, Mr.Philips, Trevor Philips industries, Deadman walking, did somebody say yoga, by the book, Tow truck, boiler suits, masks, The multitarget assassination, Mr.Richards, Hang ten, Fresh meat, The ballad of Rocco, reuniting the family, Architects plans, doting dad, fire truck, meltdown, stingers, every gauntlet, something sensible, the times come, every Pulling favors, every rampage, shift work, Grassroots Micheal, grassroots the drag, Paparazzo, paparazzo the sex tape, Paparazzo the highness, every vinewood souvenirs expect Al Di Napoli, Exercising demons-franklin, liquidy risk, minute man blues, exercising demons Micheal and Trevor, targeted risk, uncalculated risk, a starlet in vinewood, chasing the truth, the last one, delivering the truth.
I may have missed a few but those were the ones I counted, this can take up to 5-10 hours unless if you already have quite a few on gold. You don't have to do every single challenge at once, so you can try to beat the level as fast a possible, reload it and try to get as many headshots as required for example.
- Career criminal- This one requires pure fucking grind, let me tell you everything I did for the 100% completion. for hobbies and pastimes, I did Stunt plane time trials, 3 medals in every shooting range challenge, won every race (meaning offroad, street, and sea,) won every sport, got par or under in golf (getting par or under is required,) Bail bonds quarry and farm, every flight school mission, every arms traffic race (required for an achievement anyways,) got a private strip club dance, hunting, yoga and parachuting. Only franklin's strangers and freaks are required, my random events were the ATM robbery, Bike theft 1, construction accident, gang imitation, mugging 1, 2, and 3, security van 3, 4, and 6, sportbike theft, a countryside gang fight, a deal went wrong, and the drunk driver. To find out the spawn points of the random events go to the rockstar social club. All 30 misc were buying a haircut, weapon, any clothing, a car mod, a tattoo, and 5 properties, a vehicle from a website, ride the cable car, use the car wash, go on the rollercoaster, friend activities (meaning call up Micheal, Trevor, or franklin as any of the 3 characters) Visit the cinema, bar, play tennis, darts, golf, go to a strip club, 25 stunt jumps, 8 knife flights, rob a store, purchase stocks, watch T.V. (do at Micheals) complete a booty call (Play as Trevor in a strip club and get one of the girls like the bar to the max and drive them to their apartment) 25 under the bridge, walk and play fetch with chop, get 30 submarine pieces (one of Micheal's strangers and freaks) 30 nuclear waste (it's an achievement anyway) get all 50 spaceship parts and letter scraps (both achievements.) This can take up to 10-20 hours, it's a fucking pain.
- Unnatural selection- Holy shit, this took me so fucking long to do, me and 2 other friends grinded for 10 hours straight and couldn't even beat it. Buy max snacks and body armor and the best map to do is the nuclear silo,
there is a certain hiding spot near the stairs and the stairwell that if you hide behind it's super difficult to get shot unless you peak for too long. Use the combat MG, does a lot of damage and can shred through enemy health, be careful at the beginning when getting health and armor not to be out for too long for else you will lose all your health and maybe even die. This took me prolly around 10-30 hours to complete.
- Above the law- This requires so much god damn grinding that I grinded for 3 days straight, I started grinding hard on level 67 and got to level 100 by doing the 3x event "Target assault race" But by the 3rd day, it was this stupid deathmatch where if you die you can come back to life by an enemy dying or some shit, heists are also good ways of gaining RP, and heist setups too. this took me around 10-20 hours to complete starting from rank 67.
- Numero Uno, the requirements for this achievement is to win a single Bike, Land, Sea, Air, Rally, and GTA-Race, win a Deathmatch, Team-DM, Gang-Attack, and Survival (10 rounds), and win Arm Wrestling, Darts, Parachuting, Golf, Tennis and Shooting Range. So not only do you need to complete the survival bullshit but more on top of it, now everything but a rally race, team deathmatch, and survival you can boost with a friend. But even then this still took me around 10-40 hours to complete due to the fucking survival bullshit.
submitted by No. 55: Scott's Tots - Season 6, Episode 12
"I've made some empty promises in my life, but hands down, that was the most generous." – Michael
No. 54: The Incentive - Season 8, Episode 2
"Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick." - Kevin
No. 53: Initiation - Season 3, Episode 3
"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like Pretzel Day." - Stanley
No. 52: Viewing Party - Season 7, Episode 8
"I’ll raise it all I want. I’ll raise the roof!" - Erin
No. 51: Turf War - Season 8, Episode 23
"Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penis'd, debutante. You want to start a street fight with me bring it on but you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets, you don't even know my real name- I'm the fucking lizard king!" - Robert
No. 50: Pilot - Season 1, Episode 1
"Am I going to tell them? No, I am not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer." - Michael
No. 49: New Guys - Season 9, Episode 1
"There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge." - Andy
No. 48: Branch Closing - Season 3, Episode 7
"I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame." - Angela
No. 47: The List - Season 8, Episode 1
"When I was a salesman I could just be like “Not my job, not my prob. I’m going to the warehouse to polish my knob.” Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob." - Andy
No. 46: Company Picnic - Season 6, Episode 28 (actually an exchange)
"Damn it, Michael, I told you that in confidence. Now I have to go over and deal with these employees and their families. A little boy just walked up to me and said, "is my daddy gonna have a job by Christmas?" - David
No. 45: Vandalism - Season 9, Episode 14
"Normally, I find Pam to be a comforting, if unarousing, presence around the office. Like a well-watered fern. But, today, she has tapped into this vengeful, violent side. And I'm like, wow, Pam has kind of a good butt." - Dwight
No. 44: Happy Hour - Season 6, Episode 19
"Yeah, I love going to bars with Bob. I tend to wear something low-cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats 'em up. What?" - Phyllis
No. 43: Inner Circle - Season 7, Episode 23
"No matter how many times I reach out to Dwight, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. It reminds me of my relationship with my son. Except there, I'm the Dwight." - Deangelo
No. 42: The Carpet - Season 2, Episode 14
"You know what? I am beginning to think that what happened to my carpet was an act of terrorism against the office. The only thing that makes any sense." - Michael
No. 41: Classy Christmas - Season 7, Episodes 11 & 12
"In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas." - Dwight
No. 40: Business Trip - Season 5, Episode 8
"Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. 'Cause I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete. I think it's because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you, even though you just tell him off. Rright to his face. Over the phone. That's respect." - Michael
No. 39: Trivia - Season 8, Episode 11
"Corporate says to me, “Gabe, we need you in Scranton.” Scranton says, “Gabe, go back down to Florida. You're needed there.” So, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm up there. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I'm down here. I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying." - Gabe
No. 38: The Search - Season 7, Episode 15
"Holly is ruining Michael's life. He thinks she is so special. And she's so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. It's nuts." - Erin
No. 37: Christmas Party - Season 2, Episode 10
"Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for these people and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael
No. 36: The Client - Season 2, Episode 7
"Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of "Oklahoma" in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids, so they made up roles like that. I was good." - Dwight
No. 35: A.A.R.M - Season 9, Episode 22
"Not enough for me? You are everything." - Jim
No. 34: Frame Toby - Season 5, Episode 9
"NOOOO!!!! GOD! No, God, please no! No! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" - Michael
No. 33: Counseling - Season 7, Episode 2
"This is the worst! You are the worst! I hate looking at your face! I wanna smash it!" - Michael
No. 32: Murder - Season 7, Episode 10
"Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Michael from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one." - Jim
No. 31: Sex Ed - Season 7, Episode 4
"No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge." - Dwight
No. 30: The Coup - Season 3, Episode 3
"Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him. Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms." - Dwight
No. 29: Michael's Last Dundies - Season 7, Episode 21
"The Dundies are my baby, and they need to go on. When Larry King died they didn't just cancel his show. They got Pierce Morgan to come in, and do his show, and, that way, Larry lives on." - Michael
No. 28: Night Out - Season 4, Episode 11
"There is a master key and a spare key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked, "What if you die Dwight, how will we get into the office?" He said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." - Pam
No. 27: The Fight - Season 2, Episode 6
"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael
No. 26: Beach Games - Season 3, Episode 22
"If either of these guys are put in charge of the office I will transfer to Albany. Gil can come if he wants. I'm kinda looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while. Angela thinks I can cross over. We'll see." - Oscar
No. 25: Product Recall - Season 3, Episode 20
"Check out this sunshine, man. Global warming, right?" - Andy
No. 24: Launch Party - Season 4, Episode 3
"If you tell me, that I have to drive back to Scranton, to the satellite party, I am going to throw up! Okay I'm going to throw up. I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan." - Michael
No.23: Sexual Harassment - Season 2, Episode 2
"That's what she said!" - Michael
No. 22: Money - Season 4, Episode 4
"I declare, BANKRUPTCY!!!" - Michael
No. 21: Email Surveillance - Season 2, Episode 9
"I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections. There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we are down river from that old bread factory." - Dwight
No. 20: Weight Loss - Season 5, Episodes 1 & 2
"What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went -- I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years." - Michael
No. 19: A Benihana Christmas - Season 3, Episode 10
"Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it killed." - Dwight
No. 18: The Dundies - Season 2, Episode 1
"No, no. because the ice melts and then it's like second drink!" - Pam
No. 17: Garage Sale - Season 7, Episode 19
"No. I am not going to be proposed to in the break room. That is not going to be our story. Mhm hm. Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." - Michael
No. 16: Goodbye Toby - Season 4, Episode 14
"Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. I came extra-early. So much energy... There are certain days you know you know you will remember for the rest of your life, and I just have a feeling that today is one of those days." - Michael
No. 15: Threat Level Midnight - Season 7, Episode 17
"I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it'd be good for my daughter to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time." - Daryl
No. 14: The Injury - Season 2, Episode 12
"I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill."- Jim
No. 13: The Duel - Season 5, Episode 12
"Rule 17: don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. There are forty rules all Schrute boys must learn before the age of five. Learn your rules. You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep." - Dwight
No 12: The Negotiation - Season 3, Episode 18
"When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more." - Karen
No.11: Diversity Day - Season 1, Episode 2
"How come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious and ground-breaking and then I go and do the exact same routine, same comedic timing, and people file a complaint to Corporate? Is it because I'm white and Chris is black?" - Michael
No. 10: Niagara - Season 6, Episodes 4&5
"For a really long time that's all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife." - Jim
No. 9: The Convict - Season 3, Episode 9
"The worst thing about prison was the... was the Dementors. They... were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they'd come down, and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and it hurt!" - Prison Mike
No. 8: Stress Relief - Season 5, Episodes 13 & 14
"Well, ya know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself. Ever. And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle!" - Pam
No. 7: Casino Night - Season 2, Episode 22
"I don't really play cards, but I’m not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling." - Toby
No. 6: Safety Training - Season 3, Episode 19
"DWIGHT, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!" - Michael
No. 5: Goodbye Michael - Season 7, Episode 22
"Well, I'm moving to Colorado to start my new life with Holly. Just up here, getting used to the altitude." - Michael
No. 4: Gay Witch Hunt - Season 3, Episode 1
"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain... and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing." - Creed
No. 3: Fun Run - Season 4, Episode 1
"Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make." - Michael
No. 2: Dinner Party - Season 4, Episode 9
"Kind of an oaky afterbirth" - Michael
Finale - Season 9, Episode 23
"The weird thing is now I'm exactly where I want to be. I've got my dream job at Cornell, and I'm still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they're the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them. Someone should write a song about that." - Andy
submitted by Hey everybody, now that we're into July and people are beginning to speculate when we may see Hero drop, I figured why not share some cool facts to help build the anticipation for him popping up? Originally, I was going to share
this post I made a few weeks ago on how big the Dragon Quest series is in Japan, and how to easily get into the series. However, I'm still getting the hang of Reddit not sure if re-sharing a post I already made is looked down on (or conversely if it's the norm). Regardless I thought this would be a cool topic, and I hope it keeps your interest. Enjoy.
The Hero's YT trailer was huge in Japan At this point, even non-fans of Dragon Quest know the series is huge in Japan, though for many westerners who have barely even heard of this series, that may be hard to believe. To prove it, let's take a look at some recent Smash trailers,
here is the Japanese YT trailer for Banjo's reveal Over a million views, not bad at all.
In fact, pretty big for Japan since they're not as into YouTube, NicoNico Video being Japan's video sharing service of choice (though some Japanese Smash players do get up to 7 million views), but I get a feeling that they were interested in checking out the character that westerners were overreacting too (that kind of thing is a meme in Japan). However,
let's take a look at the trailer for the Hero in comparison a whopping 3.6 million views in only a month. Even more impressive is that it got
over 2 million views in just one day.
Not only does that trailer have more than double the views that Banjo got, in just a few days it's got more views than the
Cloud Reveal, and passed the
Japanese World of Light Trailer as well as
Bayonetta. If it keeps climbing, it may end up being the most viewed Japanese Smash trailer. As a huge DQ fan, I can tell you that when the camera panned up to Loto, it was surreal to say the least. I can only imagine what the Japanese gaming scene must have been like to see this reveal. Just insanity, pure, simple, and beautiful, (much like that trailer itself).
Not the first time DQ crossed over with Mario Due to its overwhelming popularity and long legacy with Nintendo, Dragon Quest has actually made crossover games with the Mario characters before. Due to Mario's history with the Mario Party a series, and Dragon Quest putting board games and casinos within their own games, and both franchises being MASSIVE, Nintendo and Square Enix have actually published a few fun crossover games featuring both franchises. These games being the Japan-only
Itadaki Street for the Nintendo DS,
Mario Sports Mix for the Wii (which also featured Final Fantasy), and
Fortune Street for the Wii. These games were all either developed or published by Square Enix, so there wasn't much hassle in mixing their DQ characters.
Sakurai has already Homaged Dragon Quest in Kirby Super Star Those who have played Super Star on the SNES and it's DS remake Super Star Ultra, one of the most important Kirby games made by Daddy Sakurai himself, will remember
Computer Virus, an enemy who's boss battle functions similar to an RPG turn-based encounter. While the blue and white text boxes are a Final Fantasy reference, the enemies that the virus generates are based on Dragon Quest monsters, with the very first enemy literally being named after the iconic Slime. So that menu-based battle system Sakurai gave the Hero in Shash isn't his first time trying that sort of thing out.
Most Isekai anime are based on Dragon Quest Isekai have absolutely been dominating anime these days. Feels like we can't go a single season without at least one popping up and becoming a hit. What flies over the heads of most Western fans is that most of those Isekai exist simply because Dragon Quest (or "Dorakue") is such a household name in Japan. In Konosuba, the main character Kazuma is clearly depicted as being a huge fan of a Dragon Quest based game in his world, and the fantasy world he gets transported to runs on Dragon Quest style mechanics. It's also evident due to the fact that he underestimates an opponent for being a slime, which is depicted as the weakest form of monster in Dragon Quest games (not so much in his world or D&D). Another series called Maoyuu Maou Yuusha features
a kind of pervy take on Dragon Quest, with its hero clearly being based on Loto/Erdrick and the villain being based on the Dragon Lord... with quite a few liberties (one Puff-Puff from her and your entire party is wiped out). There's also the recent series "That TIme I was Reincarnated as a Slime" which I'm sure needs no explaining how that's connected to Dragon Quest. I could go on for quite a while listing series, and how they connect to different Dragon Quest games, but you get the idea.
Heck, just this very morning before posting this, I found
this on YouTube.
A very good chunk of Smash characters exist because of or in part because of Dragon Quest Even those of you who have never played or have little experience with Dragon Quest probably know it's the reason we have JRPGs as a genre. Yuji Hori and his team worked very hard to translate computer-based Dungeons & Dragons simulators/clones into a streamlined interface that would work well with the NES button and control inputs. His ability to do so and the fact that Enix surrounded him with so much talent lead them to create a nationwide sensation. That UI and the ideas within the DQ games lead to just about every RPGs inception in Japan in some way or another. So the Fire Emblem characters, Cloud, Joker, the Pokemon, Xenoblade, and Earthbound would not be a thing without DQ (just to name a few). Heck, I thought it would be cool if Hero's classic mode involved him fighting Marth, Ness, Pokemon Trainer, Cloud, Shulk, and Joker, but remembered that since Joker is DLC, he's probably not a candidate for classic mode (
so maybe something like this?).
In fact, the Mother series (my favorite games of all time) exist as a direct parody of the Dragon Quest games.
Not to mention that all the cute monsters Akira Toriyama drew for DQ to make monsters based off is part of why we have so many cutesy mascot characters in video games. They were a huge phenomenon in their own right in Japan, with Slime merchandise alone making an entire fortune. While that kind of thing already existed in Japan, DQ's unprecedented success was a huge push in that direction for Japanese, and eventually western game development (heck one of Kirby's friends Goey is a very blatant Slime rip off). Who knows, maybe in some ways Dragon Quest's normalization of cartoony cute characters is a small part of why even Banjo Kazooie exists today.
This is a great year for Dragon Quest That's not a rare phenomenon, Dragon Quest has ridden many waves of success in its lifetime. This year is already looking good with the Hero's inclusion in Smash, and the release of DQXIS on the horizon (apparently you can't take 5 steps in Japan without seeing an ad for it). However, that's only the tip of the iceberg, as this year also marks the theatrical release of
Dragon Quest Your Story a CGI movie based on Dragon Quest V (considered by many to be the best of the series) that honestly looks quite good. Plus we have the impending release of Pokemon Go! clone #4806 with
Dragon Quest Walk which actually looks pretty cool since unlike other mobile walk games, this one has it's actual RPG mechanics built in (doubt it'll come to the west though).
Not to mention the coming western release of Dragon Quest Builders 2 (
which has the most hype announcer for anything I've ever seen).
Now Smash has 2 more NES reps While there are some characters who pre-date the NES in Smash, for many of us, considering the NES was Nintendo's first home console, many consider it to be the purest form of representation in Smash, especially if not only the series, but a character(s) from that series was actually on the NES. With the Hero's inclusion, not only does Smash have another series that debuted on the NES added to its mythos, but with Erdrick/Loto and Solo being included as part of the Hero's slot, we now have the main characters of 2 more NES games as part of the roster. Not just any games either, since
Dragon Quest III and
Dragon Quest IV came out right at the height of Dragon Quest fever in Japan during the 80's and were wildly popular. To this day people in Japan who don't know much about video games just call all video games "Dorakue".
Including Donkey Kong, Daisy, Dr. Mario, ROB, the 7 Koopaling, and Pac-Man (though feel free to remove them if you think those are kind of a stretch), that brings Smash up to having a total of 36 NES characters. Smash Ultimate really is the ultimate.
Also, Dragon Quest was in
Captain-N so... that was a thing... moving on.
Satoru Iwata was a key figure for Dragon Quest Anyone who knows anything about Nintendo worships Satoru Iwata for his countless contributions to Nintendo, and anyone who knows anything about Iwata himself knows he was involved in some capacity of many of Nintendo's major games, as well as good friends with many key figures in the game industry. It's probably no big surprise to anyone to reveal that he also had a hand in helping to make Dragon Quest popular and even attempted to try and make it popular in the west, even when Enix wasn't putting much effort into the series outside Japan.
Iwata and Yuji Hori also happen to be friends, and Hori even agreed to be part of a special
Dragon Quest based Iwata Asks. Hori like many developers and fans was also
quite saddened by Iwata's passing.
Hopefully, Smash can help fulfill Iwata's desire to see Dragon Quest popular in the west.
Well I could try more to make this the standard 10 cool facts, maybe talk about Slimes or the iconic menus in Dragon Quest (no seriously, in Japan the menus are a big thing), or more facts about Hori, Sugiyama, and Toriyama, but most of my other facts are either too long or too short... and I honestly kind of shot myself in the foot with that post I made to
nintendo up at the top by using half the cool stuff like the museum, the weeb cr@p, and other facts to get people hype. So if you want more, check that out.
In any case, I can't wait for them to release the Hero (I may redo all of World of Light just because of this) and I really hope this got some of you who may not have been as hyped or aren't as familiar with Dragon Quest to feel even a little bit as excited as I am, and very much hope that anyone who may have been a detractor of DQ being represented in Smash see why not only does Dragon Quest deserve to be in Smash, but to also ask why on earth it took so long for such an iconic series to be represented? (...ok, the answer is Square Enix).
Anyways, thanks so much for reading, and have a great day.
submitted by Here I'm highlighting Funhaus videos I've enjoyed the most from the post-Bruce/Lawrence era.
One reason to do this is to communicate to Funhaus what I like the most. Another reason is to give new or returning fans a list of newer videos I can recommended they watch.
Here I'm generally focused on videos with dense comedic content. I watch Board as Hell, Dude Soup, and Filmhaus but videos of that type can be categorized separately.
I've placed the videos I most enjoy rewatching in categories '+++' and '++'. Videos I enjoy reatching less regularly I've placed in '+'. Videos I don't rewatch regularly do not appear on this list.
Feel free to comment if you think I missed or underrated something.
Also, Funhaus might consider updating the welcome to funhaus playlist on the channel's youtube page.
+++:
Gritty Little Liars - L.A. Noire Gameplay Part 4
Melt In Our Mouth - Wheelhaus Gameplay w/ Zach Anner
His Dank Materials - The Golden Compass
Stuffed Animals - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Belly of the Beast - Teletubbies Funny Moments
Tips Ahoy - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Arch Rivals - Towerfall Ascension Gameplay
Glitches and Hose - Flashing Lights Gameplay
What We Subdue In the Shadows - Aragami Gameplay
Dominating The Matrix - Super Hot VR Gameplay
Watch the World Burn - Funhaus BTS
Ye Olde Authentic Ren Faire McGriddles - GTA 5 Funny Moments
You Got Final Fantasy VII in My Skyrim! - Mod Gameplay
Our DRUNK Game Show: 20 Second Showdown
++:
Amateur Pawn - Wheelhaus Gameplay
Into Ruff Stuff - Wheelhaus Gameplay
Glitcher, Failure, Soldier, Spy - Death To Spies Funny Moments
War Daddies - Gears 5 Gameplay
Lickin' for Love - I Love You Colonel Sanders Gameplay
Skilled Headers - Wheelhaus Gameplay
Down To Funk - Driver: Parallel Lines Funny Moments
Magma Cum Laude - Hot Lava Gameplay
best tech gifts under $5
Wide Receiving - Worst Games Ever Gameplay
Still Rock Hard - Band Manager Part 2
Sleep Fapnea - Catherine Full Body Gameplay with Retro Replay
Valentine's Day Challenge: Enter The TrendBlaster - Google Trends Show
One Girl, Two Cups - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Romantic Valentines Day Gifts for $5 or LESS
Thor: Love and Blunder - Marvel Strike Force Gameplay
How NOT To Make A Meme - GTA 5 Funny Moments
We BUILT An Eye Tracker GAME For You!
Grandma Is Out to GET SOME - Sims 4 Gameplay
Meditations on Puppies and Poop - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Kill Me, I'm Irish - LA Noire Gameplay Part 7
Best of NES - Worst 80s Nintendo Movie Games
Sorority Rush Week In The Sims 4
What To Eat Out On a First Date - GTA 5 Funny Momements
Ragdoll Party Online Has ALL the Glitches!
Bruce is Back To Freak Your Mind! - Demo Disk Gameplay
Wizarding World of GTA Online - Casino Heist Part 1
Nerds of Prey - Predator: Hunting Grounds w/ Bruce and Sark
Resident Evil 3 Remake Needs More Tube Tops
The Wines of Grindelwald - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 2
Survivor: Bachelor Edition - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Final Fantasy VII Remake VS Retro Speedrun Challenge
Raw and Order - Demo Disk Gameplay w/ Bruce Greene
1999 Problems - Demo Disk Gameplay w/ Bruce Greene
Hot, Wet, and Dying - Green Hell Gameplay w/ Sark
Obstacle Courses and Bidets - Funhaus Animal Crossing Island Tour Part 2!
Share the Load - Demo Disk Gameplay w/ Jack Pattillo
Star Wars: Sprites of the Old Republic - Demo Disk Gameplay w/ Bruce Greene
Book 'Em and Cook 'Em! - LA Noire Gameplay Part 8
Escape from Castle Gabenstein - CSGO Co-Op Adventure Mod w/ Andy Cortez
Face Tattoos Are All That! - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Let's Play the Funhaus Feud w/ Kinda Funny!
Mushroom Tips: James Teaches Kinda Funny How To Play Mario Party
Ghosts of Funhaus Past - Co-Op Adventure Mod w/ Spoole
Cockpit Teases - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Talk Show Train Wreck - This Is Your Show Now!
Fatal Extraction - CSGO Co-op Adventures Mod w/ CrankGamePlays
Fire Up Your Dial Up For Runescape!
Cycle Killers - GTA 5 Funny Moments
CS:GO Heist Co-Op Adventures Mod w/ Chilled Chaos!
+:
Riffing and Sniffing - Funhaus Comments #118 (Open Haus Edition)
Doc Ocasio-Cortez - Funhaus Comments #119 (Open Haus Edition)
Now This Is (not) Podracing! - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Fowl Play
Hole Trolls
Melodica Serenade - Funhaus Comments #123 (Open Haus Edition)
Slasher Fiction - Funhaus Halloween Spooktacular Gameplay
Fallout 77 - Outer Worlds Gameplay w/ Geoff Ramsey
High Speed Fail - Metro Sim Hustle Gameplay
Virtual Depravity - Wheelhaus Gameplay
Temple Tantrum - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Gazed and Confused
Assassin To Assassin - Hitman 2 Ghost Mode Gameplay
Dark Side Souls - Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order Gameplay
Dirty Diaper Olympics - Come On, Baby Funny Moments
Casting Couch Capers - L.A. Noire Gameplay Part 5
We Botched A Zoo - Planet Zoo Gameplay
Medal Heads - Mario & Sonic at the Tokyo Olympics 2020 Gameplay
Whack To the Future - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Skaters Be Skatin' - Worst Games Ever Gameplay
Cowboys and Idiots - Red Dead Online Gameplay
Down To Flock - Duck Dynasty Funny Moments
You Would Even Say It Blows - Worst Games Ever Gameplay
Hind Sighting - Eye Tracker Funny Moments
Half Cocked - Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts Gameplay
Tour de Force - Star Wars Games w/ Cameron Monaghan
Imitation Games - Best Knock Offs of 2019 Funny Moments
Wrap Battle - Funhaus Comments #133 (Open Haus Edition)
Beta Clucks - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Latter Dazed - Advent Rising Gameplay
Take It To the Hole - Worst Games Ever Gameplay
Urine It To Win It - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Who Darted? - Worst Games Ever Gameplay
Joke's On Us - Funhaus Comments #135 (Open Haus Edition)
Psycho Babble - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Designated Piledriver - You Have A Drunk Friend Gameplay
Net Zeroes - Internet Cafe Simulator Funny Moments
No Brain No Gain - The Witness Funny Moments
DoppelBängers - Funhaus Comments #136 (Open Haus Edition)
What Women Watch (RE-UPLOAD) - Eye Tracker Funny Moments
The Most Degeneres Game - GTA 5 Funny Moments
We're Nuts For Busting - Ghostbusters Funny Moments
Busted Bad Boys - Worst Movie Games Gameplay
The Perfect Manhattan - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Weeb Wipe Out - Nippon Marathon Gameplay
Fight Like a Crow - Worst Movie Games Gameplay
Spü Metal - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Half-Life 2 Co-Op Chaos! Elyse's First Time
Aeon SUX: The Hottest Metroid YET - Worst Movie Games
Good Boys For Life - Funhaus Comments #139 (Open Haus Edition)
EVERYTHING You NEED to Know About Dragon Ball Z - DBZ Kakarot Gameplay
The ROCK is Mummy Thicc! - Worst Movie Games Gameplay
Gotta POO Fast! - Super SONIC Gauntlet Challenge
HARRY POTTER Makes Myrtle Moan - Worst Movie Games
The MONKEY Doctor Will See You Now - GTA 5 Funny Moments
Pussycat Posse - Flashing Lights Gameplay
Finally, A TOMB RAIDER For Men! - Marlow Briggs Gameplay w/ Zach Anner
It's like Skyrim with Lightsabers (Mod Gameplay)
The Shadows Will Kill You! - Lightmatter Gameplay
Van Helsing: The Movie: The Game
Castle Crashers Co-op Knightmare!
You're All Sick of Our Antics? - Funhaus Comments #142 (Open Haus Edition)
Meet the New Bad Boy of Country Music - GTA 5 Funny Moments
The War On Drums - Dealer Simulator Gameplay
Do Not Try This At Home: Backyard Wrestling w/ Jeremy Dooley
The Incorrect History of Doom
Adam Tries To Speedrun Ori and the Will of the Wisps
We Build IKEA Furniture WITHOUT Instructions - No Idea IKEA
Street Fighter Club - Worst Movie Games
Our Roleplay Safeword is "McDonald's" - Funhaus Comments #146 (Open Haus Edition)
Half-Life: Alyx Is the ONLY Reason to Get VR!
We're Stuck At Home Too - Funhaus Quarantine BTS Vlog
Building IKEA Furniture BLINDFOLDED! - No Idea IKEA
Animal Crossing Challenge: Tanuki Anatomy 101 - Google Trends Show
How To Build a First Person Shooter - Demo Disk Gameplay w/ Freddie Wong
Self Care Under $5 (Treat Yo Self!) - Gift Guide
Read That Corpse His Rights - Police Stories Gameplay
Geoff Ramsey Does Hard Time - Demo Disk Gameplay
Handling Your Package with Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Race Across the USA in The Crew!
Adam Gets Serious About DOOM Eternal - Review
Gryffindor Grifters - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 3
Funhaus Cast Animal Crossing Island Tour!
Are You Smarter Than a YouTuber? - Demo Disk Gameplay
We Defend Each Other From MEAN Comments - Funhaus Edition
Hogwarts School of Glitchcraft & Misery - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 4
We Build IKEA Furniture With Oven Mitts On - No Idea IKEA
Netflix Challenge: We Have No Chill - Google Trends Show
How Many Is Too Many MEN? - Funhaus Q&A
What Else Can I Motorboat? - Funhaus Q&A
Loading the Chamber of Secrets - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 5
We Build Ikea Furniture With a Belly Full of Meatballs - No Idea Ikea
We Respond to THIRSTY Comments (Wheel of Thirst!)
Fantastic Heists and Where To Find Them - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 6
Hogwarts and All - Broomstick League Gameplay
Domestic Violence: James and Elyse Play Streets of Rage 4
How To Find Love During Quarantine - Funhaus Q&A
We Build Ikea Furniture With Toddler Toys - No Idea Ikea
* Only Bots Can Judge Me - YouTube Court w/ Kinda Funny
Which Animals Would Kick Our Ass? - Funhaus Q & A
Things Are Getting Sexy in The Sims 4!
Your Comments Were RIGHT - Wheel of Humility
Pottermore Pileup - GTA Online Casino Heist Part 7
We Build Ikea Furniture w/ Our Tools Locked In Puzzle Boxes - No Idea Ikea
Parallel Parkour - Ghostrunner Demo Speedrun Challenge!
Probing the Depths of Agent Roswell - Funhaus Gameplay
submitted by If you haven't had time to listen to seven hours of podcast interviews, or you didn't retain everything you heard, here are some key points. I didn't think to do this until just now, so I'll be posting it as a work in progress and updating it throughout the afternoon. That way more people will have a chance to read up before the premiere.
Karishma Patel, 37, Personal Injury Trial Lawyer, Houston, TX -First generation Indian-American Her mom was as a legal assistant, and got her a filing job at her law firm when she was 14. "I didn't have other options. I was basically told I was going to be a lawyer and I didn't disagree."She has watched every season and regularly listens to RHAP. She sits close to the TV to study the inflections on people's faces when something is said to them, so that she can think about what that means. But, her parents and husband don't share her enthusiasm for the show. Asked if it's her dark pleasure she says, "It is completely bright. It is a beautiful pleasure of mine, but it is mine and mine only. I haven't been able to find people to share it with." -Doing the show has caused her conflict. "Not only is it not expected, it's not allowed. It's kind of like being a disobedient Indian girl. You're not supposed to be doing this. What you're supposed to be doing is having babies. But I don't care. I'm a risk taker. I'm here to prove to myself that I don't need to listen to anybody else. I don't need permission from anybody else. This is my journey and I'm going to take it. I hope that people watching out there can see that an Indian woman's value does not come from doing what she's told." -She doesn't currently have children, and she says she has some decisions to make as she enters a crossroads and the next stage of her life. -Her law firm told her they'll replace her if they're able to find someone, and she can have her job back if they don't. "I didn't flinch." -Her strategy is to be non-threatening and play a social game. She doesn't look 37, and she wants to use that youthfulness to be disarming. She wants to build relationships other people believe in. She defines success by other people vouching for her loyalty when they go off and have private conversations with one another. "That means I got 'em, because it's actually the other way around." Asked if she wants to find someone she can trust, "I'm not going to be capable of it. I'm too skeptical for that. I overthink things, so I'm not going to be able to trust somebody the way I want to be trusted... If I do, that's the end of my game."
My take: Oh my God. Poor Karishma. Her story hurts my heart. She reminds me so much of myself in her isolation, her defiance and her deep feelings. I worry that her fear of trusting people could get in the way of her forming genuine bonds. But, there's nothing she can do. Society has made her the way she is. I hope she gets a lot of screen time so she can be a star of her favorite show.
Missy Byrd, 24, Military Veteran/App Developer, Tacoma, Washington -Originally from Georgia. Her family was 'decently poor.' She played basketball for the Air Force Academy because she thought it was her ticket out. -She had a brain tumor. She stopped menstruating for a year and two quarters. "I'm not dating anyone but I have breast milk. I'm a literal cow... I would look down and my shirt would be wet, and I thought, 'Dang you're clumsy. I knew you were clumsy, but you're clumsier today than you were yesterday. But it was - it was - uhh - milk." She had crying fits. She developed a stutter and couldn't look at people. Doctors told her she was just stressed. When her dad died she couldn't process emotions normally. She was about to go to the French version of the Air Force Academy, École de l'air, after graduation but because of her mental instability she was removed from school. The military shipped her to the same Air Force base as Sandra (Fort Lewis.) "I don't want to be there. Super sad. Check into the post office - fuck this. Check into the dorms - hate that." The doctor there found the tumor. She got an MRI and all weekend she believed she might have cancer. Over the next year and a half she eliminated the tumor and the symptoms using vitamins. She enlisted and worked logistics. -She made a list of the things she wanted to do now that she was going to live. "The first thing was go see Beyonce. Beyonce costs way too much money for a normal person to go see, but if you've just almost had a near death experience you go see Beyonce, bro!" She was feet away. She drove across the country. She tried weed. -She had an idea for an app, but didn't even have the computer literacy to use social media. She found a veteran's association and asked if she could intern. "They said, 'No, you should build this out yourself. We want to work for you.' I said, 'No, the fuck you don't. Okay, lemme call my grandma.'" She wrote a grant proposal and won a $1,500 office space in the center of Seattle. "Just to do whatever I want. It was like a laboratory for a child. I had Play-Dough up there. I had a white board... Just mind blowing shit when I could have been dead." -She'd seen every episode of Survivor at least three times. She started watching because her Air Force Academy basketball team was getting decimated, and she related to Foa Foa getting decimated in Survivor: Samoa. She added the show to her list. Josh suggests, "The bugs are eating you because they want some of that magic." -She isn't going to tell people her story until she's in the Final 3. "That's that Final 3 magic." She doesn't want to overly rely on strategy. She doesn't want to win individual challenges. She to build a social game and find ways to relate to everyone.
My take: She's so full of exuberance. There's not a negative bone in her body right now. She's too young and her life experience is too necessarily limited to talk around three years of her life. If she shares her story, the beauty of her perspective will cause everyone to fall in love with her and want her to do well. If she doesn't, people will sense that she's hiding a lot. I think she'll figure that out and course correct within the first day. Since she was at the same Air Force base as Sandra and she was a massive fan, does that suggest she knows her?
Ronnie Bardah, 35, Professional Poker Player, Henderson, Nevada-Born and raised in Brockton, Massachusetts, 20 minutes south of Boston. They were the only Israeli family in town. 50% of the people in Brockton were from Cape Verde, and he considers himself an "honorary Cape Verdian." A couple of his friends were shot and killed at a young age. -He was a good kid and had a good heart, but he was always hustling. In Junior High he was flipping Oatmeal Cakes and Fudge Rounds for a profit. Slinging baseball cards. Both his parents gambled. They were always at the dog tracks or Mohegan Sun. He had his friend make him a fake ID and got stuck with the name Alaja Jones. He went by Al and started playing the casinos. Quit his job at Sears Automotive to play poker full time.-He played Atlantic City, Vegas, then internationally. He had his first big score in 2010 when he took 24th place in the main event for $320,000. Got to keep $150,000 after taxes. "Poker's a hard way to make an easy living. Lots of people try. We risk every day. You have to get to a point when you can manage your bankroll and I've never gone broke in the 16 years I've played." -In one of the most viewed poker hands of all time, he was bluffed out of a million dollar pot by a supermodel on a poker TV show filmed in Monaco. "She made a sick play. She had no idea what she was doing but all the stars were aligned."-He watched Borneo when it aired and got back into it when fellow poker player Anna Khait was on. He calls Jean-Robert, "kinda a lazy guy...He's really good at befriending multi-millionaires." "Anna Khait... is probably the least poker player out of all of us. She played for a couple years." "And then Garrett - He's a very, very smart, smart kid... Self-made millionaire. One of the very, very few." -He only drank water for 7.5 days and lost 25 pounds for his health and to get an idea of the conditions of the show. He thinks he'll thrive in the survival situation. "People like being around me. I like to fucking bust balls and joke." He thinks old school alliances are a good plan, but you have to adapt. He says that like in poker, Survivor players can have every advantage, but they have to really smell it. -He wants Vince out. "There's an Asian Zeke in there. What value does he bring besides ruining people and getting in people's heads? He's a liability in challenges. He looks like a little corn puff. We gotta get him outta here. Sorry to sound so mean but it's the truth."
My take: Ruuuuude. He has no way of knowing how other people on the cast are talking in their interviews, and may assume the trash talk is standard. If he were playing on some seasons it would be. But, in this particular season it sets him apart in an unflattering way, and it seems a part of the tough persona he's built up to escape a scary situation growing up and enter a fantasy career. We'll see whether his tribe thinks he's a straight talking character or a jerk.
Tom Laidlaw, Former NHL Player, Brampton, Ontario, Canada -He was with the New York Rangers for 7 years and the LA Kings for 4. Now he has his own podcast, True Grit Life (
truegritlife.com). Does it with a friend, Kevin Allen, who writes for USA Today. Does motivational speaking. -Growing up on a dairy farm outside Toronto there was a pond to water the cows. It froze over in the winters and he'd play hockey because there wasn't much else to do. Went to Northern Michigan University - four year hockey captain, ranked #1 team in the country. Drafted as a 20 year old. "My buddy had a horse farm. We were cleaning horse shit out of the stalls. There were no cell phones back then. This is 1978. My father got a call at our farm house from the New York Rangers at the draft. Back then nobody went to the draft - it was just teams. They said I'd been drafted in the sixth round. He calls the farm house where I'm working. They bring me up. He says, 'Son, you've been drafted by the Rangers.' I said, 'Great. What do I do now?' He says, 'Finish cleaning the shit out of the stalls.'" -When he played intimidation and fighting was strategy. There were guys tougher than him, but he could fight and he could also play. Problem was, he fought a guy once, and from then on the guy wanted to fight him over and over. -Jerry Bruckheimer, big hockey fan, called the NHL and wanted to get some players on the Amazing Race. Tom had kept himself in shape, he had his passport. They ended up asking him about Survivor. He'd watched it before but not for a while. He wasn't so sure he wanted to play a game where you hurt other people, but friends helped him get his head around it. He was very impressed by Christian's toughness in the endurance challenge. To prepare for the show he studied how he reacted to different situations, how to control his heart heart, etc. He wants the mental challenge.
My take: Tom really ticked me off when he spoiled a couple of outcomes of this season. That's a betrayal of the producers, his cast and the viewers. But, if that hadn't happened I would like him. He's an easy-going, charming guy. His life experiences are a bit different than anyone else who's been on the show, which is what you want.
Vince Moua, 27, Admissions Counselor, Merced, CA -His family is Hmong. His parents lived in Vietnam in the destruction left by the war - dead bodies, guns, people who wanted to kill them. They went to refugee camps in Thailand. Then his dad became a Montana farm hand. He met Vince's mom in the US, but she came from the same place. -Vince is from small town Merced, California - the 209. Few people he knew went anywhere but the UC system and community college. He went to Stanford, one of only 7-10 Hmong. He realized the significance someone can bring to people from the same community. He tried to be pre-med but realized "no, not today." The issues of access he cared about came well before people got to the hospital. He ended up going with education. His mom was a teacher, "But when I was growing up she said, 'Yo, if you become a teacher Imma disown yo ass.' To all of us. But, that's always kinda been my jam." -He lived in South Korea for five years. He taught English in a town. Then in Seoul ahed worked with low and middle income students who wanted to study outside of Korea. -He's a Survivor superfan, who even mentions on his Tinder account that he plans to be on Survivor. His parents were worried about him doing TV because he's not out as gay to his extended family. He comes from a clan where his dad is the "top dog" and Vince is "the next top dog." In the Asian American/Pacific Islander community when you come out, it's your family who faces - in a sense - dishonor. For a long time he distanced himself from his family, hoping they'd all be less hurt if they found out and disowned him. He always tried to find friends who would be there for him should his parents not be. A year ago his mom asked him rhetorically if he was gay. "I was try'n to go around it. I was like, 'Gurl, you don't wanna know! Yo ass keeps asking!' But she kept asking, asking. So finally I told her 'Yeah, I am!' and she was crying. My dad was like, 'Oh, my son!'" But, Vince is fine with who he is and wants to show kids like him that "let's hope that it gets better." Now his parents just want him to win. -He'd like to play an old school strategy but "I'm not afraid to cut a bitch." With the tribe he's going to be Homeboy Vince from the 209, but when he talks to the camera he's going to tell people "Don't underestimate your narratives." This past year with Crazy Rich Asians, he wants people to know that there are some Crazy Hood Ass Asians.
My take: What a character. Vince has a clear point of view - Hmong, blue collar, gay - which is unique to him in Survivor lore. Even though double minorities have sometimes had trouble fitting in socially on Survivor I think somehow he's going to pull it off. As unlikely as this sounds I could even see him being a Cochran-esque winner.
Aaron Meredith, 36, Personal Trainer, Warwick, Rhode Island -He's very keyed up at Ponderosa. Rambling so fast it sounds like you're listening to 1.5x. He's read four books so far - Relentless by Tim Grover, Can't Hurt Me by Dave Goggins, Iron Cowboy by James Lawrence, Harry Potter. -He was an engineer at a building insulation plant. He was miserable, too antsy sitting at a desk. Couldn't focus. So, he drove up and down the East Coast popping kettle corn - from Maine to Florida - traveling with carnies. Bartended for a while. He'd played college football and baseball, lifted since high school, and he and his friends wanted to get "huge and jacked and ripped." The owner of the gym suggested he become a personal trainer. He ended up working mostly with middle aged women and it taught him empathy. Now he owns two women's-only fitness studios. He puts supportive women around one another and offers them the positivity to seek self-growth. -He's also a party boat emcee. Lights, DJ, bar, drinks. He's an extremely social person. -He'd first applied at 23 - 6 or 7 times over the years. He was in the mix for Cook Islands and David vs. Goliath. -He's been married 7 years and has a 5 year old son. His son is a huge fan of Survivor. Libby Vincek is his favorite player. Kara Kay was his next favorite. Aaron is already sure Molly will be his son's favorite. "He has a type. He He likes the attractive blondes. He says, 'I like them because they have a nice face.' I like mommy because she has a nice face too." The boy was very concerned about his dad going on the show. He said, "Dad, I don't want anyone to laugh at you and make fun of you." Aaron said he wanted to win. His son said, "But you might not win." When they watch the show he'll always ask, "Do they like him? Do they like her?" If Aaron is portrayed in a negative light he'll have to sit down with his son and talk. He doesn't want to play a deceitful game, but he will, because he doesn't care how he's portrayed.
My take: His story about his son is one of my favorites from all these interviews. I hope he gets to work with Molly. His adrenaline is too high. I hope he calms down a lot when the game starts. But, someone so social and sweet hearted who can win challenges and take themselves to the end has got to be a contender to win.
Chelsea Walker, 27, Digital Content Editor, Los Angeles, CA -Chelsea just took the cast photo and they put her in the third spot from the bottom, a good omen because a weird number of winners have been in that position. "Your girl's number three. I got this!" -She's a Jersey girl. She went to the University of Maryland. "I didn't do Survivor: Maryland or anything." She studied Broadcast Journalism. She knew the generic emails for NBC Universal and emailed random people until someone replied. Now she's been in LA a year. She did coverage of award shows. Now she works at IMDB, where she helps Kevin Smith with his show. She just interviewed people at SXSW. -She's been watching Survivor since she was 8. She's cried in every interview because this means so much to her. She's trying to explain that at the point she starts crying again. "It's been such a dream of mine and To be told no year after year after year - these past six years have been a total mindfuck. I've basically been called every single year. I've been to finals three times. Survivor is my one true love, but the one year they didn't call me I got really pissed off so I tried out for Big Brother. I ended up becoming the alternate and got my key being filmed and all of that crap. But I don't like that show anyway." -In September 2017 she was at a WeHo bar for her friend's birthday when, "Oh shit that's Jeff Probst." Her girlfriends all know she's obsessed, so she pulled the waiter over and asked what that guy was drinking. So, Chelsea sent another one over. "I told my friends, 'Take my credit card. Split the bill, because I can't come back after I do this. As soon as the waiter drops off the drink I'm like, 'Jeff, this one's on me. You can buy me the next one at finals.' And I just walked out of the restaurant... That was a big move!" They didn't call her again that year, but Jeff still remembered when they talked this year. -She's been working out at four different gyms - weights, pilates, yoga. Push ups. Memorized puzzles. Reading How to Win Friends and Influence People, which she keeps in.a Bible sleeve so people will think she's religious. She also carries Harry Potter because she would trust someone who read HP. She wants to keep it cool. Make one on one connections. Eventually find idols - and not tell anyone she has one - and make calculated moves. "I don't want to be a Jacob. No offense."
My take: Hearing this girl cry from joy because she's so happy to be on the show makes me emotional. She's a real go getter. I wish I were that damn fearless. Truly, I wish I were more like her. I hope her pure zest for life comes across on TV and she doesn't get stuck with a purple edit just because of her age and gender. I also hope no one decides to get threatened by her as a competitive girl and vote her off premerge. I think she'll go far. Hope so.
Dean Kowalski, 28, Account Executive, New York, New York -Referring to himself in the third person, "Dean is 28 years old. As we mentioned, he lives in New York and he prides himself on being a well rounded person when it comes to interests, abilities, personalities... If I'm listening to Drake and Lil Wayne, I gotta go home and cry to This Is Us.. I can play basketball but also think about our place in the universe." He likes to tag basketball courts with a peace symbol with a ball on it which he makes using a stencil. -He structures most of his interview with Josh around an Outwit, Outplay, Outlast format, explaining why he excels at each. -He grew up in an affluent suburb. His dream was to play in the NBA. He was 5"9 3/4, so he set his eyes on college basketball as a realistic alternative. In order to get looks from colleges he went to a school 30 minutes away - top five in the country, Nike would fly them around for games and give them free Jordan sneakers. He was one of only 4 white guys in the whole school and the only one on the team. He played with Kyrie Irving, the #1 overall draft pick. "My friend said you look like the Make a Wish Kid who just wants to be on the team for a day." He played at Colombia University, where he was co-captain his senior year despite averaging two minutes a game. He became a teacher, then did sales for a tech startup in New York. He now sells ads for Google. -He's a fan, but far from a superfan. He started watching Brenda's season. (He thinks it was Nicaragua, but it was actually Carmoan.) He works with a superfan who freaked out when they had a meeting at H&R Block with Carolyn Rivera and they went out to Bourbon Street with her. He kept watching for five years and thought he could do well. He hates when people are all talk, so he sent in a tape. For the video he interviewed random strangers on the street, who had never met him or seen the show, and asked them, "Why am I going to win it?" A barber, a construction worker. He's going to tell people he's in marketing, not sales - people have sales.
My take: I'm just not that into him.
Elaine Stott, 41, Factory Worker, Rockholds, NY -When Josh asks her not to touch the table she asks him, "You seen that Bart Simpson commercial, right? Don't touch my Butterfinger? I'm already hungry thinking about it." -"I had a pretty rough way to go growing up." Her single dad raised her and her three brothers. She was the youngest. "I was raised like one of the boys. Know what I mean? Daddy didn't know how to raise no little girl." He worked 16-17 hour days. The kids raised themselves. "When little children make their own decisions, they make poor ones." She was a hellion. -She's originally from Woodbine, Kentucky, Nick Wilson's hometown. Her god sister went to school with him and she knows him through the grapevine. "We rode on different sides of the track. 20 years ago he coulda been my lawyer, because I was on the other side of the law. I'm not bad. I've just done some things." Public intoxication several times. "I come from a dry county. It's like Footloose. We cross the state line to get a beer and when you come back you're in trouble." She stole a newspaper stand once and had to do community service. "I was a little bit mean." -She went to live with her grandpa and cleaned her act up, by which she means that she started smoking a little weed and playing sports - basketball, softball, track. She played softball and judo in college. "I couldn't do nothing real technical. We had Brazilians on the team who could do flying arm bars. But if I got these claws on you and got ya on the ground I'd waller you to death." In casting she put this guy Will in an armbar. She was gonna choke him but didn't know if she should. -When she graduated, her girlfriend was a college Freshman so she went to all the same parties and ballgames for four years. Then she realized she needed a job. Now she drives a Ford truck for a factory. She's been there 15 years. She works 12 hours, 7 days a week. -Growing up her mom "was always in my life in some sense. She'd never miss a birthday. She'd be homeless, but she'd still call." Elaine and her brothers bought her cars, and places to live, and got her jobs. "In a sense I've been mourning the loss of my mom my whole life." Once Elaine was homeless herself and there was snow on the ground. It was cold, and her teacher took her in. Gave her Christmas presents. Made her go to prom. Survivor was a thing they shared, and the teacher was gonna be Elaine's loved one. But within a one year period the woman lost her daughter, her husband, her dog and then had a stroke. Now "she walks like Frankenstein" and can't go. Elaine got Probst to talk to her, and she can't wait to watch. In October Elaine's biological mom went into a coma. She was on life support, but Elaine wouldn't unplug her. Her mom came out of it and seemed to be doing a lot better only to die very suddenly of a heart attack. -Her girlfriend and her girlfriend's two sons are gonna be watching. The 18 year old doesn't know because he can't keep a secret. The 13 year old helped her lose 20 pounds doing crossfit to come out here. She wants the money, but she really wants "some of that soul searching, that life adventure, that life changing - some of that. You know what I mean? Gimme some of that soup! Lemme eat some of that up! I want this show to build me up, because I feel like it can. I sure hope to hell it don't tear me down."
My take: About 12 sobbing emojis in a row. She's my favorite. If she gets voted out premerge I'm going to go into mourning. And how can you not sort of expect that? I am going to be so upset if they just dismiss her because she's older and looks out of shape and sounds country. If that happens, I want another Second Chance season next year.
Elizabeth Biesel, 26, Olympic swimmer, South Kingstown, Rhode Island -Josh says that Elizabeth was outright identified by one of the other contestants because they'd been watching YouTube videos about how to be a better swimmer. Others guessed she was an Olympian based on her rings tattoo. -She's from the Ocean State. They lived a block away from the beach, so they wanted her to take swimming lessons. She was a rambunctious child and swimming was the only way they could calm her energy. She started breaking records when she was 7 or 8. When she was 13 she made her first national team. At 15 she went to the Olympics. She got good early. Women peak around 22-23, and she ended her career at 24. You couldn't make much money doing it. She swam one of the longer, more grueling races, and her body said "no more." She listened to her body and retired. Some athletes lose their love for swimming because they're embittered by losing by 1/100th of a second, or they leave injured. She left on a good note. Still, if she could swim competitively for the rest of her life, she would. Now she doesn't know who she is or what she's going to do with the rest of her life. Every hour of the day used to have a purpose. Now her days are wide open. She can't keep eating 5,000 calories a day. "It's sort of like I'm mourning the death of Elizabeth Biesel the swimmer." -She was a Survivor fan as a kid because Richard Hatch was from Rhode Island. In her area "Every single household that had a television set was watching Survivor." When they asked her if she'd do the show, she felt pure joy. She said absolutely right away. She's excited about the competition of Survivor. No heated Olympic pools. You're stripped down to your core. She's amazed by the scope of the production apparatus. She's not a schemer. She wants to be a challenge beast - not the best woman but the best overall. She'd love to have a Wendell and Dom relationship with another woman. But, she wants to avoid the drama as long as she can.
My take: Could Chelsea be Wendell to her Dom? She's so wholesome. She's just so "Olympics." I love her and everything she represents. I'd love to see her rocket through the swimming competitions, lapping everyone else. Go Elizabeth.
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